5 Certifiably Insane Cold War Projects (Chickens??)

[Are_grits_groceries]

#4.Blue Peacock



The Americans didn't have the market cornered on psychotic R and D. On the other side of the Atlantic, the British had just put the finishing touches on their new nuclear bomb. Weighing in at seven tons, the Blue Peacock was a tactical nuclear device capable of a 10-kiloton explosion--just slightly less than that of Little Boy, the first nuke ever detonated.

So why the downgrade? Isn't the point of explosions to make them bigger and bigger until everybody forgets how small your penis is?


"Who's impotent now, car?!"

Well, the British needed a new and novel defense in case the Soviets came over the border of East Germany and so, instead of dropping the bomb from a plane, they decided to put the nukes in the ground. Nuclear landmines!

For safety's sake, each bomb came with a 10-second fuse, and while that's not long enough to disarm the bomb or get away to safety, it is probably long enough for the victim to repent a life's worth of regrets, chief amongst them being their tendency to frolic in German fields.



The bombs did have one major flaw, however: Burying anything in the ground during the winter would make it susceptible to intense cold, which could possibly affect the electronics. So the folks back in research and development started brainstorming:

"We could wrap it in blankets!" said one brilliant scientist.

"How about fiberglass insulation?" offered another.

"Why not just install a heater?" asked one sane and competent man.

"I like chicken!" screamed a random passing retard, completely unrelated to the science division in any way.

Guess which one they went with?



The chickens. The idea was they would be given enough food and water to stay alive for about a week, and the then their body heat would (somehow) keep the bomb's electronics defrosted enough to function.

In the long run, the project was canceled because the top brass thought that it wasn't politically savvy to plant nukes in Allied territory, or at least that was the official story.

But we all know it was probably those people at PETA again, having some sort of "moral objection" to underground nuclear-armed chicken prisons.

http://www.cracked.com/article/153_nuke-moon-5-certifiably-insane-cold-war-projects_p1

CHICKENS?? There are 4 more at the site just as certifiable. I think this one topped the list.