Small update on my addiction issue:

[Locut0s]

I posted about this before here:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=6687720&mesg_id=6687720

Thought I'd post a small update as much for myself as anything else. Please don't feel like you need to read this as there's nothing really new. I just wanted to type this out for myself.

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Well my appointment is coming up this Thursday.

I don't feel quite as desperate as before. Upped my antidepressant meds. I still drink but I don't feel quite as low as a few weeks back. I don't drink every night. It tends to be more of a bing drink thing where I will go 4 or 5 days without having anything at all then will hit a low point and drink a bottle of vodka. But like I was saying I feel a little bit more up. Still not doing anything school or job wise. I'm going to have to make a decision by January on that one.

[JeffR]

1. Be kind to yourself

and best wishes for you.

[emilyg]

2. Big hug to you.

[SharonAnn]

3. I'm a recovering alcoholic. 24 years without alcohol and my life is so much better

than it was when I was drinking.

The first year or two were tough, partly because I didn't know how to cope with the world while sober. After I got the hang of it, though, it was actually much easier.

I think there are quite a few "friend of Bill" her on DU.

[cabluedem]

5. AA is a good place for many, each meeting is different. www.aa.com. nt

[Mz Pip]

4. Don't be too hard

on yourself. You are trying to learn to be a different person and that can be a challenge no matter what our issues are.

Hang in there. Find something that engages you and focus on that.

[cliffordu]

6. One day at a time. Sometimes it's one haour at a time, but you CAN do it.

If I can stay sober for over 23 years, anyone can, IMNSHO.

[Locut0s]

9. Thanks. Congrats to you! (nt)

[Liberal_in_LA]

7. K&R, good luck with your recovery

[snagglepuss]

8. I'm glad you've kept in touch to let us know how you're doing.

I'm glad to hear that a sense of desperation has lessened and that you don't feel so low. It sounds like you've been going through a very difficult time so whatever you do not be hard on yourself.

I don't if you have heard of Dr Gabor Mate but he works on the Lower East with addicts who have hit rock bottom. His views on addiction are ground-breaking and I'm going urge you to read his latest book called The Realm of the Hungry Ghosts.

Review in Walrus:

In The Realm of the Hungry Ghosts Mate describes how addiction affects the chemicals and brain centres responsible for rewards and decision making, but he is also careful to point out that those neurological elements are related to the emotional life of the addict. “When the brain is diseased the functions that become pathological are the person’s emotional life, thought processes, and behaviour.”

For Maté addiction is neither the result of the seductive power of heroin or cocaine or alcohol nor the expression of an identifiable genetic predisposition, but the consequence of childhood trauma, social and cultural dislocation, and a sense of spiritual emptiness and lack of meaning.

If addiction involves destructive behaviours pursued irrespective of the consequences, triggered by the need to fill a chronic inner emptiness, then the long road to recovery requires what Buddhists call “mindfulness”: a calm, unjudging, compassionate attentiveness to what is happening within."