"No Homo" Here's to Hoping it Doesn't Catch On!

[ccharles000]

By Ellen Friedrichs, About.com

I was hanging out with my brother the other day. He teaches high school and had just gone to a school sponsored seminar on anti-gay bullying. I asked him what they had talked about and he said, "A lot of stuff about school board policies and kids saying things like, that's so gay."

Like my brother, I have encountered a lot of kids who say that's so gay to indicate that something is stupid or girly.

Unfortunately, I think there is also another phrase that needs to be addressed.

No homo.

I really only first heard someone say no homo recently. It was, in of all places, one of my colleges classes! A student was telling a story about a basketball game and made some references to taking another player's ball.

He quickly added a: no homo, before continuing his train of thought. He didn't get very far before the other students jumped all over his choice of words. (That's one nice thing about college classes...)

So what's the deal with this term? The most popular UrbanDictonary.com definition is:

"A phrase used after one inadvertently says something that sounds gay... Paul and I had each other's back all the time, no homo."

It is just so amazing to me that a guy would be so afraid of associating himself with anything that could cast a shadow of doubt on his sexuality, that he would qualify the most innocuous phases with a disclaimer.

http://gayteens.about.com/od/safetytips/a/no_homo.htm

[Zoeisright]

1. My husband is a teacher and he flunks kids who bully or taunt.

And they know it, so they have pretty much stopped.

The problem is a lot of it can be so subtle - just a look or, as you say, a key phrase. I've never heard of that one before.

[Taverner]

2. Hope it doesn't catch on either

[ccharles000]

5. I don't how much it is used but it is big in rap music.

[Taverner]

7. Well it is a triple-rhyme

So that would increase its popularity...

[BlooInBloo]

3. Oh wow - a shorter version of "but not in a gay way"? Jeebus.

[Name removed]

4. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[JuniperLea]

6. For some reason, this was all I could think of whilst reading that...

[qb]

8. Here's an idea to promote: Whenever someone says "No Homo", quickly chime in with "phobia".

[AspenRose]

21. I like that.

A lot.

[RyboSlybo]

9. People are always going to say degrading things...

People have said degrading things about me...

For instance "Pot head loser" heard that one a few times...

Or how about fucking hippy?

Some people just do not respect there fellow man, anyone who is different racially or by other means..

I hope this won't catch on either but seriously man don't let it bother you!

The way I look at it if someone says something degrading about me that is their problem, not mine. I will rise above and do my part to follow the golden rule if you will... We can't control what some ass hole is going to say and he should be free to say it. But we can control what comes out of our own mouths... Fight hate with love my friend...

[bigwillq]

14. Hello.

Welcome to DU! :hi:

[Bigmack]

10. I can just see Gunny Hartmann...

from "Full Metal Jacket"

"DO YOU SUCK DICKS?...ARE YOU A PETER PUFFER? .... No Homo"

[undeterred]

11. I've never heard anyone say "thats so gay" or "no homo"

but I'm old and out of it.

[GrilledCheeses]

12. Lil' Wayne popularized it. nt.

[bigwillq]

13. I think it's funny.

All these straight folk saying it so we don't confuse them with being gay. :rofl:

A lot of young, black males who I am Facebook friends with use the term a lot. I had to add the black male part because, as a poster said above, I believe the phrase originated in the hip-hop community.

[ecstatic]

16. I never see people using the term

"no homo" online, but as far as your facebook friends, I think they are just trying to decrease the number of notes they get from other guys. A lot of my guy friends are approached online by other guys and they try to make it clear to people beforehand that they are not gay, I don't think that in itself is homophobic unless it's accompanied by slurs or derogatory language.

[bigwillq]

18. Naw.

They are college kids, black males, who, when commenting on a friend's photo with said friend flexing his bicep, would say:

"yo, man, you getting big, B. No homo."

Or when commenting on a status update:

"luv you, my brotha. No homo."

[jmm]

20. I've only seen one person use that term on facebook and she's white

as are most people who buy hip hop music.

[bigwillq]

22. That's true about the hip-hop buying part.

On my facebook, I've only seen this group of young black males who all went to high school in the same city, although some went to different schools, use it. Now of my other black friends nor any of my white friends have used it. Just this one group of dudes.

[ecstatic]

15. My understanding of guys who use that phrase is

they think that gay guys like them in a romantic way, so they point out that they're not gay to avoid being approached in that way. I think it's a stupid and hurtful phrase.

[6000eliot]

17. I think it works in just the opposite way.

It allows "straight" kids to do and say all sorts of "gay" things. I had a male student tell another student that he was attractive, after which the first student said, "no homo."

[Prism]

19. It's a mixed bag

"That's so gay" is an outwardly directed denigration that has no positive connotations.

"No homo" is a bit more complicated. (Full disclosure, I actually think the phrase is kind of hilarious and adorable). With it, you see straight males expressing sentiments that they ordinarily would simply leave unspoken lest anyone think they actually were gay. The example the poster gives above is a good one.

The context in which I've seen it is often one male saying something positive to another male. It feels, to me, like it's a kind of bridge, a little coming out of a homophobic shell where men completely closed off any form of male to male affection for fear of being perceived as gay.

In a perfect world, of course, you'd never want anyone to use homosexuality in any kind of degrading way, but this . . . I don't know. There's an intangible feeling of progress with it. Kind of two steps forward, one step back.

If that makes sense.