Bachmann: NASA “Jeopardizing National Security”

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

(Satire from http://www.TheDesperateBlogger.com}

October 8th, 2009

Representative Michele Bachmann (R-MN) today urged NASA to scrub its mission to bomb the Moon tomorrow citing national security concerns.

Sounding out words from a prepared statement, the admitted Glenn Beck/Rush Limbaugh disciple told reporters that she is deeply concerned about possible repercussions from “… an unprovoked assault by the United States upon our lunar neighbor.”

“It’s yet another example of science leading us down the road to ruin,” Bachmann continued, “My fear is that it will instill a deep-seeded hatred of the United States within the alien community. I don’t think I need to remind anyone that millions of aliens currently permeate all areas of our society – from restaurant kitchens all the way up to the White House, and many of them are not only undocumented, but may also already be in possession of beauty-related bomb components.”

Rep. Bachmann also revealed that she has contacted Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano, urging her to raise the national ‘Terror Alert Level’ to “boom”. She also warned that high-ranking NASA officials “will certainly face a Congressional inquiry and possibly even criminal charges if this bombing results in unacceptable collateral damage or loss of civilian lives in the adjacent lunar areas.”

When asked if she feared that her home state’s Mall of America might be the potential target of a retaliatory alien terrorist attack, Bachmann said, “Of course that’s always a concern, but I’m much more worried about places that get crowded.”

[existentialist]

1. This is a joke, right?

[Uncle Joe]

4. That would be my first assumption of a thread by someone with a handle of ThisThreadIsSatire, of

course with Bachmann you can never be for sure.

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

5. The problem with her is that

it's impossible to come up with something so ridiculous that people will know right away that it couldn't be true...

(which, btw is why I included the top line above the body of the story...)

[Warren DeMontague]

2. "In Your Heart, You Know It's Flat"

[TheCoxwain]

3. Pearls of wisdom have been cast again..

straight from Bachmann's Stinky ass.

[Diclotican]

6. ThisThreadIsSatire

ThisThreadIsSatire

I really hope this is satire, becouse of what I have read about the right wing in the US the last couple of years, this is NOT without some merrit.... And Michele Backmann is stupid enough to have said something like this in real if she got the shance to do it


Diclotican

[damntexdem]

7. She wouldn't need to fear if she would just keep on her tin-foil hat.

Of course, she wouldn't support a government program to provide tin-foil hats to the citizenry; no, she'd want those hats purchased from private enterprise.