Wingnut Sex

[Cyrano]

Was Rush Limbaugh the chubby kid in school who got picked on, and couldn’t get laid? Did his fantasies finally lead him to Costa Rica with a gross of condoms and a supply of Viagra? Is this the source of his venom? (The Costa Rican boy or girl riddle I leave to you.)

Was Anne Coulter the skinny, flat-chested girl with dating problems? Did she compensate for it by “doing” men, hating men, or hating everyone?

Was Glenn Beck the guy who got shot down every time he asked a girl out? Is he now taking his revenge on every living being on the planet? Long ago, doctors used to tell kids that masturbating would make them go blind. Perhaps Beck has become blind to the reality of the lives of the human beings who inhabit the place we call Earth?

Bill O’Reilly might not have had trouble dating, but chances are that each first date he had with a girl was probably his last. And if he got “lucky” from time to time, the girl probably regrets it to this very day. Having sex with a first-class, self-absorbed, arrogant, obnoxious, asshole who is wrapped up in himself is something else. It probably took anyone he scored with years to learn he was trying to satisfy only himself and not her.

The only picture I can get of Sean Hannity (that I wish I could get out of my mind) is him spending all 90 seconds screaming “Is it good for you?”

[mmonk]

1. I was going to say pollination, possibly through bees.

[Taverner]

2. No he was the class bully who never stopped being such

The kid who would mercilessly taunt you if you looked funny, or was different.

If you were the girl who developed at an early age, he pulled your bra strap and snapped it hard

If you were the boy who still had a lisp, he would call you all kinds of homphobic names

[unpossibles]

7. I would agree and go a step further

they were all bullies who still somehow see themselves as being the victims.

[lpbk2713]

8. OxyRush couldn't have been the class bully.

Simply because most of the other kids in his class would have been too close to his size. More likely, he would have
been the school bus bully, where the kids he would pick on would have been three or four years younger than him.
And of course those little kids would have been the ones that didn't have bigger brothers or sisters.

[DainBramaged]

3. A picture is worth a thousand words

[Cyrano]

5. Oh my God. It's Baahbara

[Warpy]

4. You're underestimating women

Any woman with the least bit on the ball would realize she was being used as an object to masturbate into within 5 minutes.

She might want to deny it, but she'd definitely know it.

[Cyrano]

6. Perhaps as teenagers, women are this dense

But for some men, one of the greatest lessons in life is that there is no greater pleasure than giving pleasure. And the most fortunate women in the world are those who find such men.

[Warren DeMontague]

9. I actually think the X-factor with all those folks is unrestrained profit motive.

I question how much ANY of them believe the bullshit they spew (except maybe Coulter, although I've speculated previously that her entire life could be a giant performance art piece A La Andy Kaufman, dreamed up while she was on blotter acid at a Dead show) ... however, each of them has parlayed a complete lack of actual brains or talent into an extremely lucrative career.

I think $$$, more than unresolved sexual issues, is the prime motivator. That said, I have trouble seeing Limbaugh, Beck, O'Reilly or Hannity getting laid in High School.