In the check out line my wife and I were discussing a friend's divorce, so we used Spanish. A woman

[RB TexLa]

behind us asked us if we were talking about her. We both laughed at her asking this. She then asked what we were laughing at and wanted to know what we said about her.

I just said "a free human being can speak in whatever language they wish whenever the wish." We didn't say another word to her, but did go back to speaking to each other in a language we wished to speak.

[josephmink]

1. Interesting

Interesting, thanks

[SharonAnn]

35. Speak two languages, you're bilingual. Three languages - trilingual. one language -American

[kestrel91316]

317. Way to tar all of us with the same brush. Sheesh.

I am fluent in English, spoke very passable German for many years, and can get by in French. My sister is fluent in English and French and Swedish. My niece is fluent in English, Spanish, Portuguese, speaks very good Hindi after two years of study, and also speaks French well enough. Plus a smattering of Farsi and Mandarin.

What were you saying??

[LynnTheDem]

56. So are all your posts.

Very "interesting" indeed.

[WeDidIt]

103. He's jead, Dim

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=user_profiles&u_id=242907

:evilgrin:

[LynnTheDem]

283. Dontcha love it when they try to be cunning.

:evilgrin:

[busybl]

60. did it ever occur to you that she was joking?

edited for crazed comma

[Cha]

150. You can tell by the way someone asks whether

they're joking or not.

[BlooInBloo]

2. "We weren't before, but we are now. Fuck off."

[seabeyond]

4. isnt that the truth. lol. nt

[Warpy]

21. That's what I'd be thinking, "fuck off."

I understand several languages well enough to know that when people are speaking them, they're never talking about me.

Self absorbed ignoramuses always think everything is about them, though, so this is pretty typical.

Unfortunately, people who are speaking their first language are often from much more civilized countries and would never think of telling an asshole to shove it.

[Kalyke]

312. Actually, my husband speaks Russian and he overheard some

Russians talking in an International Airport while we were traveling out of country and they were talking about us. LOL!

Not directly, of course, but they were calling Americans stupid - which, unfortunately for half of this country, is true.

When we got up to leave, he walked by and told them that not all Americans were dumb - he understood them, after all. :)

[Posteritatis]

153. Win (nt)

[grantcart]

3. idiotic and paranoid Americans

You should have said that you and your wife were talking about the $ 144,000 you had made in the stock market this year by investing in Hispanic oriented businesses and that your wife wanted to take a trip to Paris but that you had always wanted to see Tokyo, did the woman have a suggestion which would be a better travel destination?

That would have seriously fucked up that woman's brain for months.


on edit:

I should say that my wife has a hysterical habit of looking around at people and noticing innocent but funny foibles of people in everyday situations, "Look at the bald guy, notice how he is moving his lips? He is talking to himself". So standing in line we end up talking in Thai - usually about the people in line lol.

[pinto]

5. Geez,seems it would have been simpler to say "we were discussing a friend's divorce."

And move on. :shrug:

[RB TexLa]

8. Oh, you think she deserved an answer?

She didn't

[pinto]

16. Nah, 'course not. Just suggesting to shrug it off.

:hi:

[Luminous Animal]

80. How about "suggesting" that the women didn't have the right to ask?

[Djinn]

292. n/t

[Behind the Aegis]

18. But she got one anyway, didn't she?

"No." and then continuing your conversation would have been a better course of action.

[Kaleva]

98. Maybe but it wouldn't have hurt to have given her an honest answer.

[RB TexLa]

108. I did give her an honest and truthful answer.

[Kaleva]

111. No you didn't.

If it truly was an honest answer, then I feel more sorry for you then the lady that was behind you.

[Cha]

154. I doubt if the OP cares if you "feel sorry for him" or not.

Yeah, feel sorry for the woman who interrupts with her paranoia.

[cyndensco]

137. I liked your answer.

The woman was out of bounds, IMO.

[BlooInBloo]

10. Simpler yet: "None of your fucking business."

[busybl]

70. why on earth would anybody say the fucking to another

person? How old are you? do you and other dirty mouths kiss your mothers with those mouths?

[Maru Kitteh]

196. Since you brougt the subject up, how old are you?

What stunning level of maturity have you attained that leaves you entitled to appoint yourself the arbiter of approved language for use when addressing someone who as been intrusive and rude to you?

[uppityperson]

202. Just for curiosities sake, how many mouths do you think Bloo has?

And, how many mothers?

[BlooInBloo]

204. I am large. I contain multitudes.

:rofl:

[uppityperson]

210. You give a whole new meaning to "mouthing off"?

I've heard about you

[xocet]

291. Good comment...

"And he asked him, What is thy name? And he answered, saying, My name is Legion: for we are many."
Mark 5: Verse 9 (KJV)

[Kalyke]

314. Bloo is Legion.

:hi:

[Forkboy]

273. Why would anyone want to kiss their mother?

:yoiks:

Mom, if you're reading this, I love you and all, but....

[truebrit71]

316. I know I fucking do. All the fucking time..

:evilgrin:

[Speck Tater]

20. It certainly would have been more compassionate. nt

[Mojorabbit]

34. I agree. nt

[Hannah Bell]

169. yes.

[Jazzgirl]

218. It was none of the woman's business what they or anybody

else in the line was talking about. She was being nosey and self-absorbed and didn't deserve any response as far as I'm concerned.

[Bluerthanblue]

36. I agree. It wasn't any of her business but your

answer didn't have to be so sharp.

She probably didn't like being stuck in line any more than you did-

It's your life- your call, but why make the choice to be unkind?

:shrug:

[hfojvt]

112. you apparently missed the whole point

Some people deserve to be treated unkindly. That's the point of many discussion on DU, to talk about how much we hate some people and about how vile and deserving of hate they are. This is part of our master plan to make the world a better place by hating and being rude to the people who foul up this world with their intolerance and stupidity. You are supposed to applaud him and suggest even more rudeness.

[woo me with science]

180. +1 nt

[scarletwoman]

284. Best post on this entire thread.

To act with kindness and compassion toward others isn't about whether they "deserve it" or not. It's about what sort of person YOU are.

sw

[mitchtv]

201. she was expressing her resent ment at having to listen to Spanish in public

No was more than she deserved.

[Bluerthanblue]

214. you are reading your own agenda into this- nothing that was said

in the OP implied any such thing. They could have been speaking in ANY language, and gotten the same response.

Unless you were there- ? If so, maybe you could explain the entire incident in greater detail.

:shrug:

[billh58]

256. The "nosy" woman

was using an all-too-common (since the "illegals" dust-up) racist tactic of drawing public attention to the rednecked belief of English being the only "approved" language in "Murica." She got a more civilized answer than her question deserved.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

119. why should they have to tell random strangers what they are talking about?

[donco6]

149. My question exactly.

??

It's none of her business.

[mitchtv]

198. hear hear

the woman was expressing her resentment at Spanish being spoken in public and a simple "NO" was. honest & formal( she didn't deserve any more than that) How fucking dare she?. OP was totaly appropriate to be curt.

[Hansel]

136. Or that is was none of her business.

Since it wasn't and her interruption and eaves dropping of their conversation was rude.

[pnwmom]

6. There is a risk in speaking another language, if you are doing so because you think

discretion is required. You never know who might know the language.

My son-in-law is often approached by people speaking Spanish who assume, based on his dark looks, that he will understand them. He barely speaks a word.

My red-headed daughter, however, is quite conversant. People who think they're keeping secrets by speaking Spanish in front of her are making a mistake.

[madeline_con]

13. My son had that happen. A couple of guys were criticizing

"Mexicans", and he responded in Arabic that they weren't being very nice, and weren't as smart as they thought they were, either. they'd been talking about him as he selected a few items in a little store.

[pnwmom]

22. LOL. n/t

[Staph]

14. My friends adopted their daughter from Korea.

She spent a year of high school with a family in Spain as an exchange student, and years later married her Spanish "brother".

Some women came into her office recently, and started speaking in Spanish, "How is this chink supposed to help us?" She nailed them!

[pnwmom]

25. I bet you wish you could have been there to see that. n/t

[Hepburn]

234. Oh, how perfect! n/t

[Odin2005]

279. LOL!

:rofl:

I have a naughty habit of eavesdropping on the conversations of Spanish speakers to improve my Spanish :)

[47of74]

24. Reminds me of that scene in Braveheart

Where the one English higher-up thinks there's no way Wallace would know Latin, and tells the princess in Latin that Wallace is lying. They're somewhat surprised when Wallace says in Latin that he never lies, and offers to continue the conversation in French if they prefer.

[Posteritatis]

158. One of my favorite parts in the movie (nt)

[Speck Tater]

32. I had a German couple saying insulting things about Americans in front of me in a checkout line

while assuring each other that none of these stupid Americans would be able to understand them. I had had German in high school, college, and Air Force language school. (I haven't spoken in 45 years and have forgotten more than I ever knew, so they'd be safe now, but 45 years ago I called them on it. :) )

[Cid_B]

48. That would crack me up...

My German is average to above average.

The little lady, however, actually is a German. She is one of those damn people who just pick up languages and accents as she goes.

However, in the military community, you can never be sure that people don't speak it for just that reason. Picked it up or married into it.

[Selatius]

92. A friend of mine has blonde hair and is light complected. Nobody assumes she speaks Spanish either.

She's so much fun to be around. I think it is her mother's side that is pure-blood Spanish, and they have dirty blonde/blonde hair. Whenever she speaks on the phone with her sister, she switches from English to Spanish flawlessly. She used to work for a construction firm here as an office clerk/translator. Business was booming for her post-Katrina, but sadly, due to the Great Recession, she was laid-off and eventually moved away. I miss her.

[rainbow4321]

172. I've known 2 nurses, one blonde/blue eyed and another redhead/freckles

Who were in situations you describe. The blonde one was waiting to use the phone in the staff break room while a Hispanic women from environmental services was on the phone for an extended period of time. The Hispanic woman said to the person on the other end of the line: "This bitch is waiting to use the phone"...unfortunately for her, the blonde nurse spoke Spanish. Needless to say, the Hispanic worker ended up in the supervisor's office.
The redhead nurse had gotten on an elevator and 2 Spanish speaking girls made a comment in their native tongue that the nurse looked like a bitch..to which my friend responded in Spanish something like "only when I have to be". Whoops.

[Deja Q]

184. Too true -- and I know a bit of Spanish too.

Like you said, you never know...

But in public places, if you don't want people to hear it's best not to say anything.

[seabeyond]

7. that is just odd. how egotistical that she would assume was she you were talking about.

i have never been bothered by people talking a different language, except when i was in mexico and couldnt interact with people. the nicest people, i love to chat and both would talk slower and louder trying to interact. doesnt work. very frustrating. wish i knew spanish.

but there are people, jsut speaking foriegn language messes them up. i dont get it. dont get why they care.

[madeline_con]

15. Some peeple think it's all about them, no matter what. n/t

[JerseygirlCT]

157. I'm not sure if it's ego or paranoia.

When you think of the world in terms of us and them - them being those no-good, brown-skinned people out to get your job, take away your healthcare, and generally do all the evil in the world... well, you probably get pretty paranoid when confronting someone who doesn't fit your notions of a "real" American.

[Chipper Chat]

9. I once worked at a hotel in Dallas (80s)

I am not Hispanic but speak Spanish very well. I was conversing in Spanish with a Hispanic housekeeper whose family had lived in the Dallas area before Dallas was even founded. A matronly "white" woman guest walked by, paused, and said "why dont you people go back to Mexico where you belong" and walked on. There were LOTS of things I would have like to have replied but couldnt. The housekeeper, Claudia, just said she was used to such bigotry. How sad. I will never forget this incident.

[virgogal]

11. If the conversation was in Spanish to protect the friends privacy

you'd better be careful.

Lots of people speak Spanish. (I'm not one of them)

Just don't discuss personal issues in public.

[spinbaby]

241. That's a point

Spanish is a very common language in most areas--I wouldn't count on it for privacy in public.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

12. I'd put $ on it she was a Repuke nt

[itsrobert]

17. Next time speak Ubbidubbi

It works just as well.

[drm604]

39. Or Pig Latin.

My brother and I can converse fluently in Pig Latin. A skill we learned from our father when we were kids.

One time my brother and I were double dating with a pair of Vietnamese-American sisters. They were in the back seat speaking to each other in Vietnamese. So we started talking about them in Pig Latin. They couldn't understand a word of it and thought we were pulling their leg and simply babbling.

Of course, this was all in good fun with none of the paranoia or xenophobia described in the OP.

[notesdev]

19. It's rude

By speaking in a language that you know (or suspect) the people around you can't understand, you invite their imaginations to fill in the blanks. If you have to say something discreet, do it in private - after all, a lot of people speak Spanish, so your conversation may not have been private at all.

The only time it's excusable is when you can't speak the common language in the place you are.

[Warpy]

26. yes, how very rude not to let the whole world in on a private conversation!

This is a country of immigrants, some more recent than others. A first language is always going to be the most comfortable one to speak.

Grow up.

[notesdev]

27. "Grow up"?

When you grow up, you'll learn to take others' feelings into consideration. If your conversation is private, conduct it in private - that's what adults do.

[woo me with science]

183. Yes. nt

[Bluerthanblue]

41. the woman who thought they were talking about her

must have asked in english, so, did the OP talk in english, and then switch to spanish? That might make her think it was about her. This is a check out line- she didn't come barging into their space- they were all "stuck" in a common space. Maybe a conversation that needed to be spoken in another language for discretion, might have better been had in a more discreet place.

:shrug:

[madeline_con]

33. I hear people speaking different languages all the time, and don't

automatically have a paranoid reaction about it, thinking I must be the topic of their conversation.
I know many of them speak English too, because they speak to the cashier or whomever AS NEEDED in English. Otherwise, they speak to their frinds, family and shopping companions in whatever language they please.

[Mojorabbit]

37. I have an aunt

that disses people all the time in Portuguese. I would tend to be paranoid as I grew up with her using the language to do it in the open. But then that is what I grew up with and I also think it is rude. Everyone brings their baggage to situations and I have mine.

[RB TexLa]

38. I will speak whatever I wish. Your concern over it means nothing.

[busybl]

66. and the woman left the store with such a high opinion

of hispanics or Spanish speakers. Good job, what we need in this country is a lot more division.

[Raineyb]

193. It's not the OP's job to shape the opinion of the nosy woman in the check out line.

Next thing you know you'll be telling black people that the reason why bigots hate them is because they did something to leave the bigot with a bad opinion of black people.

Do you realize how nonsensical this bit of logic is?

[mitchtv]

207. she knows she won't be pushing them around

at least. Didn't sound like she knew much to begin with.

[uppityperson]

45. dang, usted está ya en mi lista reversa del compinche

[madeline_con]

55. I just know you're talking about me. n/t

[uppityperson]

58. mais oui!

[billh58]

258. Well, that's

easy for you to say...;-)

[Raineyb]

46. Well considering it was a check out line the woman behind them

had no business asking about what they were talking about as they clearly weren't talking to her. What difference does it make what language they were speaking? They weren't talking to HER.

It's rude to speak a language that the people around you can't understand when you're with that group of people. This does not extend to a nosy Parker in a checkout line.

[Zix]

138. Of course it isn't rude. What a ridiculous suggestion.

"Dave! That woman in the house next door is TALKING to someone on the TELEPHONE."

"What's she saying?"

"I don't know, I can't hear her."

"WELL. I shall go round and give her a piece of my mind."



"Dave! That man over there is talking to someone else and they are OUT of EARSHOT."

"WELL. I shall go over to him and punch him the nose. How impolite!"



"DAVE! That young lady is TEXTING someone on her MOBILE PHONE in such a way that I CAN'T SEE what she is TYPING!"

"Good lord! What is the world coming to!"


If you can think of anything special distinguishing the case of the unknown language from the examples above, let me know what it is, please.

[Hansel]

140. What?

It's rude to listen in on other people's conversations without being invited to. It's their problem if their imagination fills in the blanks regarding the private conversations of strangers. I suggest counseling to develop a stronger self esteem and less paranoia.

People speak in different languages around me all of the time. At work and in public. I could care less. However, I'm not prone to having to know what everyone around me is saying unless I'm a part of the conversation. I also am not that insecure.

The only way it is rude is if the women behind them in line was a part of the conversation and didn't understand Spanish. That would be rude. There is absolutely no time that is not excusable. No one else has to give another permission on how to conduct their conversations.

[donco6]

151. Wow.

I'm just amazed at the stupidity of people on DU these days. Why anyone would be arguing about this in the first place is beyond me. People can talk about personal, day-to-day issues in any language they want. Sometimes it's easier to converse in your native language rather than trying to find the "right" words in English. And if people around don't like it, tough shit.

[JerseygirlCT]

161. I'm not sure why you think it's important that people not involved

in the conversation have the ability to listen in in their language.

That's as silly as asking the person on the phone in front of you to speak up, you missed the part about her sister.

[billh58]

259. My, what

an enlightened attitude. Only in the mind of a mono-linguistic, self-centered, culturally-deprived person would speaking one's native, or preferred language, in a free-speech public venue be considered "rude."

[Hell Hath No Fury]

311. Wow, you would not be happy here ---

in San Francisco.

Every day I hear conversations around me, in Spanish, Cantonese, Russian, Arabic, Tagalog, heck, even languages I can't even name.

There is nothing "rude" about people speaking in a foreign language within my earshot. But then again, I am not paranoid/arrogant enough to get my panties in a wad, thinking they are all talking about me.

[TommyO]

321. Now we have to poll the room to see if we're speaking the proper language?

Quite frankly, the only rudeness comes from those who deign to dictate what language any two or more people can converse in.

[varelse]

23. Never assume that anything you discuss in *any* language will not be understood.

It's a small world after all.

[TheeHazelnut]

28. yeah, that could be a bad habit to get into

you never know if the person standing next to you might know the language

[Doremus]

29. I would echo the cautionary advice.

In my early 20s I went to Europe with a girlfriend. We were on a train leaving Paris heading for Germany and in foul moods after a harrowing taxi ride with the driver from hell. The whole freaking train was empty except for our little car where riders seemed to flock like a magnet for some unknown reason, and we were crammed in knee to knee.

The man seated next to me stared at me nonstop for like 20 minutes and my friend and I started bitching about it in English, thinking nobody would be the wiser. "This jerk is really pissing me off," "Don't they know it's rude to stare?" etc etc.

About this time the conductor came around to punch tickets and I didn't understand when he asked for my ticket. The man sitting next to me said "He wants your ticket." My jaw just about hit the floor, lol.

That was one hell of a long train ride!

[Rex]

30. Where you two staring at her or looking at her when speaking in Spanish?

What a paranoid women, sure total strangers are going to be talking all about you in the check-out line.

:eyes: It is all about me!!!

[IDemo]

31. Back when I was somewhat conversant in Spanish,

I remember conversations on the bus switching midstream between languages, often several times a minute. There was no private content in the Spanish portions of the conversation. It seemed the girls were literally "monolingual", rather than bilingual, except their "one language" was comprised of more words.

[Posteritatis]

163. I saw some amazing code-switching in Toronto

Was in a cafe with a friend and the couple at the next table over were having a perfectly flowing conversation in five languages at once. I was kind of envious.

[liberalmuse]

40. That's just weird.

Why would she assume you were talking about her, and even if you were, why would she care what a couple of strangers were saying, anyway? It really was quite rude and presumptuous of her to ask you that question. Actually, it was none of her fucking business. I think you handled that correctly. Jeez. When people are speaking another language, I don't think anything, really, except how nice it would be to speak another language fluently.

[Hansel]

142. Paranoia and low self esteem? Or too much Faux News? nt

[KittyWampus]

42. This reaction- people thinking you're talking about them when you speak another

language with someone else- is not uncommon.

It probably has little to do with xenophobic or racist. I'd guess it has to do with feelings of alienation and anxiety.

However, your snotty answer says volumes about you.

[busybl]

69. you're right about that.

[havocmom]

86. Not uncommon for people who are hard of hearing to be a bit paranoid either

Amazing how a hearing aid can 'cure' a bit of paranoia or apparent incipient dementia.

Not just language barriers, but diminished capacity (for many reasons) for good communication seems to bring out some minor paranoia in a lot of people.

[Raineyb]

170. Because the rudeness of inserting herself in the conversation requires

exceeding politeness from the OP? The OP was not out of line the nosy wench behind them was. Quite frankly, he gave her more information than that to which she was entitled.

[Bluerthanblue]

43. what is your point in posting this???

isn't there enough negativity in the world already?

Did it make you feel superior to the woman who couldn't understand you?

Are you encouraging others to follow your lead?

Are you looking for kudos?

I'm at a loss as to what you are trying to say with this post. Sorry- but I can't applaud your put-down of someone who happened to be stuck in the same check out line as you and who asked, rather than just ASSUME you were talking about her. That was pretty cheeky of her- but your answer really doesn't impress me. Maybe there's more to this story than your OP lets on. If not, I just don't get you.

:shrug:

[babythunder]

106. I agree

don't know what the purpose of this story was. If you are discussing something that was private I would not have done so in front of strangers. Especially in a check-out line where people can easily overhear your conversation.

[cwydro]

132. You got it.

On the third sentence in your post.

[Fla Dem]

239. Spot on...my reaction entirely

The whole scenario was childish. If not even made up. And what the heck was the point of running to the DU boards to post about it. Looking for attention was my thought. The post served no other worthwhile purpose.

[petronius]

255. The OP has a knack for this sort of thing: turning an innocuous IRL event into WWIII,

then bringing it here where it turns into a bizarre flamefest. It's kind of like a useless superhero ability...

[gbate]

319. It was rude for that woman to ask a question that was none of her business. That's the point.

[SheilaT]

44. I live in Santa Fe

and work at the hospital there, which means many of the patients I deal with speak little or no English. My Spanish is rather limited, and fortunately I have co-workers who are fluent. Every so often two of them will converse a little in Spanish, and it would never occur to me that they are speaking about me or anyone else in the office.

Many years ago in another workplace a co-worker and I would converse in French with each other, and it was never about anything important, and never about our co-workers, and we'd laugh at them when they'd express fear that we were talking about them.

Oh, and one of my co-workers at that workplace had grown up in Germany, and he occasionally had the German-speaking customer make rude comments, assuming they wouldn't be understood, and he took great pleasure in letting them know eventually that he'd understood every word.

It's never a good idea to assume no one around you will understand if you switch to another language.

[DRoseDARs]

47. Next time, speak in Klingon. No one will WANT to know what you're talking about.

Added bonus: They'll do everything they can to avoid direct eye contact! :thumbsup: :P

[EndersDame]

49. ou have not experienced Shakespeare until you have read him in the original Klingon

[eridani]

91. And don't forget the Klingon bible!

http://www.kli.org/stuff/projects.html#KSRP

[Swamp Rat]

50. muy bien

:D

[stuball111]

51. I speak Canadianese...

people don't have any trouble understanding me :shrug:

[busybl]

76. Oh sure and now you guys have got us Washingtonians

called knit hats toques.

[stuball111]

129. Heh heh...

We are slooooowly infiltrating America.... the CIA hasn't caught on yet...but before you know it, Hosers will take over!

[sailor65]

52. Congratulations, tough guy

the woman's reaction was a typical symptom of anxiety and/or social disorders. Instead of neutralizing the situation like you could have, you exacerbated the hell she probably lives in already.

[madeline_con]

57. Thanks for the diagnosis, but it's also a symptom of nosiness. n/t

[sailor65]

61. Your response is nothing if not ironic

but for the sake of argument, maybe she was nosy, more likely something else. Naturally the DUer would opt to react to whichever choice gave him leave to act like a pseudo-intellectual asshole?

[madeline_con]

64. He was hardly a "pseudo-intellectual asshole". He merely

pointed out his right to speak whatever language he wanted to, and it had nothing to do with her. The woman's assumption that it was all about her was paranoid and self-centered.

The couple had no obligation to accomodate for any impairment in social skills she may have been suffereing, anyway.

[Bluerthanblue]

105. I agree it was somewhat egotistical for the woman to think the conversation

was about her- but what the OP proved by his answer, and his answers here, is that it's really all about HIM.

:shrug:

I don't use my cell phone in public- I don't engage in conversations that need to be discreet in public- The point is, this woman and the OP&spouse were in a PUBLIC PLACE. She didn't come out of the blue into his sphere, she was stuck, just like him, waiting in LINE.

How difficult is it to be kind, or at least to choose to be polite to others in public? Did her question merit a rude answer in return? Then perhaps engaging in an intimate conversation in public is rude to begin with?

what is happening to this society?

:(

[madeline_con]

260. Even if someone were talking about you, would they admit it?

Her question was not only stupid, it was moot. I keep hearing how rude it is to carry on parivate conversations in public, especially in languages other than English. It surprises me to hear so much of this from supposed liberals. This is America, people from all over come here, and should be allowed to speak any language.

[Bluerthanblue]

265. what the people were saying isn't really important- nor is the fact

that the woman really had no business asking the OP what he was discussing.

Indeed this IS America, and people from all sorts of places come here and should be able to, and DO speak in whatever languages they choose.

It surprises me to hear from SOME "supposed liberals" that responding to rudeness WITH rudeness is anything other than RUDE.

But that is my perspective, and yours is yours. What you think doesn't make you less than me- OR better than me.

We disagree- and that should be not only ok, it shouldn't be used as a reason to question a persons political authenticity.:shrug:

have a nice evening.

:hi:

[madeline_con]

267. I didn';t mean to hurt your feelings.

If I did, I'm sorry. :hi:

[Bluerthanblue]

271. thank you

for saying that. I'm sorry if I was out of line.

I don't communicate as well as i wish i could.

:hi:

[donco6]

156. Thank you, Dr. Phil.

:eyes:

[pipi_k]

237. Wouldn't matter either way, actually

It's true that the woman's initial reaction (they must be talking about her) is a component of a social anxiety disorder.

But that feeling would persist even if the OP and his wife took her aside and stroked her arm and assured her for an hour that they were indeed NOT talking about her. She would not believe it. Or she might for a few minutes, but then turn around and go back to obsessing about "what they were saying about her" for days and weeks.

The reason I know this is because I've suffered from various anxiety disorders for well over 45 years, including social anxiety.

Also...someone with social anxiety is going to be too emotionally tortured to even SAY anything to anyone else. We just tend to hold it all inside and suffer silently. My social anxiety isn't even severe and even I wouldn't think of breaking into a stranger's conversation to ask if I might be the topic of their discussion.

And if I did, I would know that I well deserved to be spoken to in a similar manner because breaking in between two people talking amongst themselves is just rude.

[xchrom]

53. it's hysterical to read responses from people that 'think' this woman deserved a polite response

or that spanish isn't as natural a language to speak in as english.

now THAT'S really peculiar. -- it's not that one assumes no one will understand -- merely fewer.

[KittyWampus]

104. As I stated, it's not uncommon to think someone is talking about you if they are conversing with

a third person in a foreign language.

I've observed this reaction multiple times.

i think it's ironic you try to make a point and use a loaded, sexist term like "hysterical".

[La Lioness Priyanka]

128. most of us who can speak foreign languages dont view the world with that sense of entitlement

or paranoia. people speak foreign languages around me all the time, and i never think its about me.

[Incitatus]

266. Actually, I think it is uncommon.

I don't have that reaction when I hear people around me speaking a foreign language. If they were pointing at me and laughing while doing it or if I was really stoned, I might. This lady sounds really paranoid.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

127. and this is why i love you xchrom. nt

[mitchtv]

213. me too

big xchrom fan

[busybl]

54. your're very rude. Why couldn't you just say

oh no, just personal stuff? Why make it an unpleasant confrontation when you don't have to
and have the chance to show a little class?
BTW, don't assume anglos don't know Spanish. I've listened to many an interesting gossip session
on the bus from LA.

[WillieW]

59. This is America - English is spoken here.

[Iggo]

67. This is America - Spanish is spoken here, too.

A lot.

[Libertas1776]

72. This is America - French is spoken here, too.

It is the 4th largest language spoken (granted it still only amounts to about 2 Million people) but hey, if you are ever in certain Parishes in Louisiana or in Northern Maine and you want to "catch someone" :evilgrin:, and you have absolutely no life whatsoever, :evilfrown: it really comes in handy.

[Iggo]

74. Northern Maine? Wow! I didn't know that.

Cool!

[Libertas1776]

78. Yep,..

Northern Maine. For instance, the town of Madawaska, Maine has a pop of nearly 5,000 of which about 85% speaka the Franco. Yessiree Bob, I'm a veritable cornucopia of useless factoids. :crazy:

http://www.answers.com/topic/french-in-the-united-states

[Iggo]

81. Nice.

I just learned that Cajun is a corruption of Acadian. (I wonder if they call our northern neighbors Canajuns?)

[Libertas1776]

83. "Canajuns"

CLASSIC :rofl:

[Gormy Cuss]

159. Lots of Northern Maine, actually.

When I was growing up there were still neighborhoods in the central Maine community of Lewiston where mostly French was spoken and it was that way in part of Southern Maine too, around the Biddeford/OOB area. Those communities are pretty much gone now but there are still old timers who have thick French accents.

[EFerrari]

79. This is America, so is Mandarin, Tagalog, Vietnamese, Korean.

[Libertas1776]

82. You are correct, ma'am

and don't forget Italian, German, Dutch, Portuguese, Cantonese, Navajo, Choctaw, Piman, and a whole mess of others.
Heck, even American English isn't all that standard. http://www.answers.com/topic/regional-vocabularies-of-american-english

[uppityperson]

205. Don't forget Polish. nt

[KamaAina]

99. This is America. Cherokee, Lakota, Navajo and Hawaiian are spoken here.

E ola mau ka 'olelo Hawai'i!

[WillieW]

116. That is the problem.

I hate when store clerks can't communicate in English or when asked Espanol or English. When I came to America, I had to learn English right of way if I wanted to get along. It is laziness not wanting to learn English and it is presumptious and disrepectful to expect everyone to learn Spanish. I will not learn Spanish for anyone.

[BlooInBloo]

125. "not wanting to learn English and it is presumptious" - Irony alert.

[mitchtv]

215. Spanish was in the Southwest before English

deal with it. Sorry for your resentment, that's the kind of thing that happens when you invade and steal a country. 150 years later there are still repercussions

[susanr516]

246. +100 nt

[Iggo]

264. Dead horse. Beaten.

[Hansel]

144. Yes, among many other languages. nt

[busybl]

62. and a retail store is a proper place to discuss

a friends personal problems?

[donco6]

147. There are rules about that now?

Sheesh.

[Deja Q]

188. apparently so. But only when nobody else is allowed to listen. It's entitlement,

to want it both ways.

:puke:

[TexasObserver]

63. You did more than required, maybe more than wise.

Once you engage such a stranger in conversation, you have created a circumstance where they might mischaracterize what you said, or might misunderstand it. As long as you ignore them, you are refusing to enter into conversation with them.

I understand your response, but would have continued to ignore them.

[Iggo]

65. I switch from English to Spanish whenever I feel like it.

It's not a fucking code. It's just a language, a way to communicate, to make myself understood to the people that I'm talking to.

I've never had some stranger say "You're talking about me, aren't you!" But if that happened, I'd probably laugh, too. If they wanna know what I'm saying in Spanish, then they should learn Spanish.

[InkAddict]

75. I understand Spanish, but have lost fluency - its fun to

eavesdrop on those quien habla espanol en las tiendas

[EFerrari]

77. In the early days, my family would always switch to Spanish in public

when discussing private matters. Now when people do it around me (I look like a gringa), I do my best to look clueless. :)

[Libertas1776]

68. This story probably isn't that interesting...

But I remember being in Paris with my brother once in January, that being the only time we broke bastards could afford. Well anyway, we were looking for a place to get some breakfast, it must have been 10 or 11 in the morning, and there was nobody around, and I mean nobody. And this was a weekday and there were no holidays as far as we knew. It was pretty creepy. Finally we found an OK bakery and got a baguette to split amongst ourselves, but not before some dowager looking woman's dog (there were a lot of them in Paris) that she had tied outside snapped at us as we entered. It snapped again at us when we left. A few minutes later we were walking god knows down what street eating the bread, and of course still no one around. Suddenly, somebody actually appears, an Afro-French woman she was and walks past us, but not before muttering "Pfft, Américaine" in a condescending way.

Granted, this doesn't really have much to do with somebody speaking in another language and me catching them since she said American (which I am) but its the best anecdote I could muster,....... anyway the only thing I could think was...How does she know we're not Canadian? :boring: I warned you this story probably wasn't that interesting.


No, but seriously I should really learn another language. I took six or seven years of Spanish when I was in school and the best I can do is read it, although I can probably piece together if someone is saying something derogatory about me. I really want to learn a language to the point of second nature, so I can pull a Frank Costanza and say "Okay, THAT'S IT! "oki on awa" Where's my tail? I heard every word you said. You got some nerve,"or something to that effect. That would be pretty awesome. :D

[Buns_of_Fire]

93. I once knew how to say "shithead" in eight different languages...

I always assumed that if I didn't hear it in someone else's conversation, they weren't talking about me.:)

Today, I remember enough of my high-school Spanish and German to know that I don't know very much about either language. I wish I could afford a Rosetta Stone package or two (although I doubt Creative Cursing is part of their program).

[Manifestor_of_Light]

285. You can buy books with cusswords in them.

I have one called "Scheisse".

[busybl]

71. for all we know, she may have said, hey, are you talking

about me? in a joking way. But this guy seems like an angry man. an infected boil, as it were.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

73. I want to learn Spanish just so I can do this.

[ddeclue]

84. En Florida no hablemos Ingles. Que dice usted in este articulo?

:D

[dkf]

85. I'm curious as to whether you feel you improved her opinion of Hispanics or not.

[RB TexLa]

96. I'm not Hispanic, how would I effect her opinion of Hispanics?

[dkf]

168. Geez you are making her feel bad about another people?

All I know is I felt bad for Hispanics when I heard your story. I was brought up to feel collective shame when a person of my ancestry does something not nice.

[islandmkl]

87. all this hoopla telling you that you were rude, insensitive, damaging to someone's opinion...

of hispanics (yeah, YOU are cementing her most-likely preconceived notions), etc...remind of the story of the little boy sitting on the park bench next to an older guy...

the little boy has a paper bag...reaches in and pulls out a piece of candy and eats it...about a minute later he repeats the process...and again, another minute later...

the older guy asks him, "Do you think eating all that candy is good for you?"

the little boy replies, "My grandfather lived to be 98 years old."

the older guy then asks, "Did your grandfather eat a bag of candy every day?"

the boy's reply: "No...he just minded his own business!"

...the lady took it upon herself to interject herself and whatever that might entail into your conversation, merely because she didn't understand what you were talking about...it appears the rude step taken is hers...and rudeness renders it own rewards....

the same people that think you weren't 'nice' to her probably spend a great deal of time posting on DU about rejecting bipartisanship, as we all know no amount of compromise will bring the repukes toward our goals....

[Hoopla Phil]

88. I think I would have shown a little more concern and compassion for

a person that is showing signs of paranoia and perhaps delusion. Mental illness is a serious issue and should not be laughed at.

[johnaries]

89. Remember, just because you're paranoid,

doesn't mean everyone ISN'T out to get you!

[jobycom]

90. This place is getting depressing.

Used to be you could come here for sane responses from actual liberals. Now half of these responses sound like the dumb-ass English only Freep Freaks.

[Kaleva]

97. What would it have hurt to explain to the woman that the discussion wasn't about her?

[jobycom]

101. It would have encouraged her belief that it was her business what others were talking about.

For one. For two, it would have implied that the OP owed her an explanation for his own or her own affairs simply because he or she spoke a language the woman hadn't bothered to learn. Given the OP's handle, one assumes they live in Texas, and at least a third of the state speaks Spanish. In some areas, many more. Are you saying that everyone who speaks Spanish should apologize to paranoid idiots for doing so?

They OP owed her nothing. The error was on the her part, not the OP's. I'm amazed at the self-control the OP exhibited, honestly. It was more than the idiot deserved.

[Kaleva]

110. I hope you are happy in the world you live in.

From what you describe, it's a very negative place.

[jobycom]

117. It is a very positive place, made negative only by those who condone rudeness and bigotry.

[Kaleva]

122. Read post #100 and #109

[jobycom]

126. Read "Bleak House."

It, like those posts, isn't relevant. The woman was disgustingly bigoted and rude. The OP responded appropriately.

[Bluerthanblue]

130. wow- disgustingly bigoted and rude?

hope you judge everyone with the same measure. This entire incident took place in a CHECK OUT LINE. Not in someones vehicle, not walking on the street, not in a back yard or on a park bench. It took place in a situation where both parties were effectively "stuck" sharing closer personal space than either would have prefered.

Rude is as rude does. The OP's reply was rude. If the woman was writing on DU asking for kudo's- I wouldn't tell her she was 'awesome' either.

This OP doesn't merit applause, or congratulations. I'm thinking perhaps there was some remorse being experienced on some level, and posting it on here was a way to feel better about the whole thing.

Or maybe it's simply an ego trip.

:shrug:

[donco6]

164. I didn't find it rude in the least. n/t

[Raineyb]

174. I thought the OP was more than accommodating.

The woman was not entitled to any reply at all.

[Bluerthanblue]

177. and this kind of attitude is why America is as fucked up as it is today-

ENTITLED-

none of us are "entitled" to anything. We can't demand people be kind, or act with respect. The only way we can hope to have the world become a better place is by acting in the way we would like others to act.

Karma- Mindfulness- Namaste- compassion- grace- mercy-

It begins with each one of us. I can't control you- or the OP- or the woman in line- but I do have some control of me- and so I'm going to choose to wish you well.

peace~

[donco6]

179. It's rude to be a condescending fucktard, too.

Just throwing that out there.

[Bluerthanblue]

187. there are many ways to be rude.

I've used a multitude of them in my life- and still do much more than I wish I did. I appreciate it when people I respect call me on it, because sometimes I don't realize how my actions are being percieved.

It's never the wrong time to live the way you know is right.
And it doesn't matter how uncomfortable it may make you feel at the time- in the end, it won't come back to haunt you.
:hi:

peace~

[billh58]

261. Took the words

right out of my mout..., er off my keyboard.

[Raineyb]

195. He answered her question when he didn't have to? How much more

accommodating do you think he needs to be? He could have easily turned around and told her to mind her fucking business and been well within his rights. He did not do this so he wasn't rude. Which is more than can be said about the nosy ass woman behind him. It was HER who was behaving as though she was entitled. She thought she was ENTITLED to listen in to someone else's conversation. She thought she was ENTITLED to understand the contents of a conversation that was not directed to her and then she interrupted someone's conversation with another person to ask them a question to which he had every right to NOT answer but HE is the rude on? No, he wasn't rude. He was accommodating and more so than he needed to be.

He did show grace; he answered the question.

And quite frankly, I thought he showed remarkable restraint when he could have easily told her to fuck off. Me? I would have ignored her completely as I have no interest in conversing with strangers who interrupt my conversation to demand to know what I'm talking about. If I wanted them to be involved in the conversation, I would have started talking to her in the first place. Demanding to know what I'm talking about is not the way to start a conversation and is not the beginning to your touchy feely notions of compassion or grace.

[Bluerthanblue]

212. no he did NOT- you don't seem to get that. If you

ask someone if they are a Republican, and they answer by saying "in this country there are more than two political parties" have they ANSWERED your question? Not in my understanding. They may have given you a reply- but that reply was NOT an answer to the question.

In my own opinion it would have been far better for the OP to have simply continued with his conversation or ignored her rather than to try and give her some kind of high brow, arrogant code answer. All that was accomplished by the reply was to encourage her in her MIS-CONCEPTION that she was the subject of their conversation.

How hard is it to simply understand that she was ignorant?- her ignorance fed her self consciousness and she took the step of confronting the situation- which was something I wouldn't have chosen, but then it isn't her that is bringing this discussion here- the OP is.

I don't think any "remarkable restraint" was shown here by either participant in the situation.

I'd much rather err on the side of being "touchy feely" with my compassion and grace than on being intentionally unkind, and choosing to respond with anger when the choice to be reasonable and helpful is given to me.

:hi:

[Raineyb]

216. He could have easily told her to fuck off.

His answer in contrast did show remarkable restraint. That you may have chosen a different method of dealing with an interloper is a matter of style but not matter of difference in levels of civility. The OP's reply if you prefer was still more answer than she had a right to expect as she interjected herself in a conversation that she OBVIOUSLY was not a party to.

[billh58]

262. Arrogant?

As in your displays of arrogance and condescension in this thread?

[Bluerthanblue]

268. I'm not going to play

lets dis each other Bill- It's a waste of both of ours time and energy.

If you think I've been "condescending" on this thread, then I regret that. I often don't say things well, or in the way I'd intended to- and end up offending people unintentionally.

If you want to give the OP applause for responding to someone's question with a non-answer, that's up to you. If you are looking to get 100% of the people on this thread to agree that the response given was a positive one, knock yourself out.

My position is that the OP knew the answer to the woman's question, and rather than answer her question- ( this really speaks more about HIM than it does her)- he chose to give her an answer that was arrogant. She is the ignorant one- she clearly didn't understand what was being said- was it her business? NO, it wasn't. Did he need to respond?- no- but he CHOSE to, in a way that he thought was a good "kiss off" answer- which IS his right to choose, but then he brought it here to DU to ...what?... look for pats on the back? Ask like minded people what their opinion was? He hasn't said what his reason for posting this is- despite being asked- :shrug:

It IS arrogant to know the answer to something and not reply. It is arrogant to think that the rules of common politeness only apply to others. You may take this reply as rude, I cannot dictate how you receive it- my intent was to answer your question honestly. Not to be a smart ass.

There is far to much rudeness in this world already. It's our choice as individuals to add to it, or try as best we can, not to.

peace~

[billh58]

282. As has been

pointed out by others during this discussion, the woman's comment was, in all probability rooted in the racist, xenophobic, "anti-illegal" English-is-THE-Amurican-language mindset. Of course I can't prove that, but considering the location of the incident, the implied tone of the question, and the fact that there is strong anti-Mexican sentiment among right-wingers in Red States (because of the illegal immigation monster) I trust my instincts. At best, the lady was being a linguistic snob, and did not deserve a more civil answer, to her haughty "how dare you?" question.

Since none of us were there, I choose to believe the author of the OP, and his "on scene" interpretation, and sense, of the events. Most people can identify racism when they experience it, or the lack of it, and react accordingly. To assume that the OP is either lying, or somehow embellishing the story for his own benefit (for some unknown reason) in my estimation, IS both arrogant and condescending.

I will also give YOU the benefit of doubt, and assume that the intention of your remarks was to be instructive, and to promote civility. You should, however, be prepared to accept criticism, as well as give it. There ARE assholes in this world, and "turning the other cheek" to them only results in two sore cheeks.

Peace and aloha,

Bill

[Bluerthanblue]

286. peace back to

you and thank you for leaving room for doubt in your estimation of me.

may we all, even the assholes of the world - come together someday.

:hi:

blu

[billh58]

287. And, I may owe

you a big apology. See post #272, and the links. Mea culpa...;-)

[Bluerthanblue]

289. no problem

we're good Bill-

:hi:

[jobycom]

232. Entitled? Maybe there's a culture gap here.

First, the person with the "entitlement" attitude was the woman who felt she had the right to understand someone else's conversation, and to interrupt a private conversation with an accusatory question because she herself had not bothered to learn Spanish.

Second, I didn't check your profile, but if you are familiar with this part of the country you'd know that her attitude and question are common amongst the English-only conservatives who believe Jesus spoke English and it is child abuse for parents to speak Spanish in front of their children. That white supremacy entitlement encourages these people to ask questions like that, to confront parents speaking Spanish to their kids, to try to pass laws banning Spanish, etc. They are the same ones who want to shoot immigrants crossing with papers, and blame all of our problems on "illegals."

Maybe you just aren't familiar with the ettiquette down here (or maybe you just don't care about it), but her question was as rude down here as trying to convert a Muslim in a mosque or trying to drag a woman out of an abortion line to "save her baby." It's an arrogant, rude thing to do, and it has heavy racist overtones. The OP showed great restraint not confronting her.

[Odin2005]

280. +1

[jobycom]

226. I don't know how you could describe it as otherwise. nt

[Hansel]

152. My daughter and I have conversations all of the time in the store

about sensitive issues but use code words (usually lines out of movies that we know the response to) and skip the more sensitive parts of the conversation.

Because others around us do not understand us is it their right to come up to us and ask if we are talking about them and to insist to be filled in the context?

It must be coming from a state that people tend to have more boundaries, but I think it really isn't any of her business what they are talking about and her interruption was rude. Exactly why are these people obligated to explain anything? Really?

[TK421]

211. To answer your question....absolutely fucking not

"Because others around us do not understand us is it their right to come up to us and ask if we are talking about them and to insist to be filled in the context?"- Nope!

Everyone just NEEDS TO STICK THEIR FUCKING NOSES WHERE THEY DON'T BELONG these days....why are these people even listening in on it? Apparently eavesdropping is a perfectly acceptable behavior these days

[jobycom]

224. But it's not SPANISH, see, so it's okay. Like when two people hold a quiet conversation

in ENGLISH so that no one else can hear. If a woman in a checkout line interrupted two people whispering to ask if they were whispering about her, everyone would condemn the woman, not the whisperers. But since they weren't talking English, it's just WRONG. Doncha SEE??

[susanr516]

248. Exactly--

What really gets me is all the people who are defending this poor woman because she was so traumatized by hearing Spanish spoken . . . in EL PASO.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[jobycom]

320. Excuse me, but were just talking about me? You must call that city "The Step."

:rofl:

[Forkboy]

275. Bingo.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

123. indeed

[donco6]

160. No effing kidding.

I'm about to pull the plug. It's ridiculous.

[datasuspect]

173. yep, DU has become a traffic farm for RW noise

i'm sure it doesn't hurt advertising revenue.

but, the level of idiocy, the extent of putrid reactionary idiocy is overwhelming.

[donco6]

175. +1

[WVRICK13]

94. This Makes Me Smile

Whenever I am in a foreign country I avoid Americans like the plague. I don't ever think someone is talking about me because I don't understand the language, that would be just too egotistical. To think I would be important enough for a stranger to talk about me is hilarious.

[TexasProgresive]

95. Laughing was good-

I would've asked, "Who are you? Why would anybody be talking about you?"

[TwilightGardener]

100. Both parties in this situation were rude. However, she might have

something wrong with her, mentally--laughing at her is just stupid.

[dugaresa]

102. this isn't a language issue, it is a paranoia issue. the woman is paranoid

when your world is limited (either by language or experience), you tend to be worried about what goes on around you.

[Raineyb]

139. It's not a language issue or a paranoia issue. The woman is rude

and nosy.

So she thought she'd listen in to someone else's conversation and upon realizing she didn't understand what she was hearing (and why would it matter if she could as it was not meant for her) decided to take it upon herself to interrupt two people having a conversation (that did not include her) if they were talking about her? The nerve! Does she think the world revolves around her? Perhaps she should just get over herself and learn to mind her business.

[Bluerthanblue]

200. um... it's a little unfair of you to accuse someone who is in a public

place of "listening in" on someone else's conversation. The conversation was being made IN a PUBLIC PLACE. I agree that she stepped over her boundaries by asking the OP if they were discussing her- but your scenario is pretty bigoted in itself given the facts that we've been told by the OP. Were you there? Is SHE posting her experience here asking for pats on the back for her behaviour? Not from what I've read.

If being rude- or willfully unkind or arrogant is wrong- it's as wrong for the OP to respond the way he did, as it was for the woman to interrupt the strangers in line with her. She lit the fire but the OP poured gas on the flame when he COULD have chosen to either let it burn out, or put water on it.

peace~

[Raineyb]

208. No it's not. You can overhear a conversation without actively listening into it.

People have conversations around others all the time. It happens in check out lines, in subways, on the bus, on the street and people generally go about their business without inserting themselves in the conversation. The OP answered the question, granted not in the way the nosy woman wanted but then when you insert yourself into other people's conversation you don't really get to dictate how your impertinent question is answered (if it was answered at all)

[Bluerthanblue]

225. i don't know about you- but when people are having an

intimate discussion and i'm stuck in a situation where i can't help but hear what they are saying it is VERY uncomfortable- If there is something to distract it helps, but you either have some kind of special ability that most people don't or you haven't been around some of the people i have. It isn't my 'choice' to listen- it IS their choice to carry on a conversation not meant for others ears in public.

As for answering the question- it was a yes or no question. The OP didn't HAVE to answer, and actually didn't. Your claim that he did- is disingenuous. He replied with a remark designed NOT to allay her fears (and NO it wasn't his responsibility- but it would have been the polite thing to do).

We aren't going to agree on this- and that's ok.

peace~
:hi:

[Raineyb]

235. I don't listen in to other people's conversation.

I guess that's the difference here. And if I do happen to hear snippets of other people's conversation I don't interrupt to ask them questions about it. I just go about my business. Or turn on the ipod. I certainly don't decide to interject myself into someone's conversation. You act as though it's unusual for people to be around other people who are having conversations that don't have anything to do with them. It's called living around other people.

He did answer her question. Just because someone is asked a yes or no question doesn't mean one is obligated to answer it in such a matter especially when said question is impertinent.

[pipi_k]

107. Wellllll.....I can sort of see both sides in this...

People should be able to use whatever language they want to, or are comfortable using. I honestly believe that.

On the other side, however...my son's in-laws are all first generation Polish. They're always at the birthday parties and other functions at his house. I like them, and we get along well. Sometimes they'll speak in Polish to each other, even though most of them do speak some, or a lot of, English. I have to admit that there are times when I do wonder why they have chosen to speak in Polish instead of English. I wonder...are they talking about me? OH NO!!!! Aughhhhhhhhh!!!!

But then I decide, well, maybe it's just easier for them to express themselves in their native language. Or maybe they don't even realize they're doing it. I mean, it's pretty arrogant to be running around thinking we're so interesting that others are talking about us all the time.... ;)

anyway, along those lines, I think if anyone broke into a conversation I was having to ask if I were talking about them, I would have to just look at the person like I hadn't noticed they were there the whole time and say something like, Oh my god, I didn't realize there was anyone in back of me.


PS...I used to have a real hard time eating in restaurants because I was afraid everyone was watching me. All that changed when I really stopped and took a look around and realized that I'm NOT that interesting...

Maybe that woman hasn't learned that lesson yet.

:7

[cwydro]

109. Why is it everyone is so compelled to be rude nowadays?

Jesus, why not say, "of course not," with a smile and just go on talking.

But I guess it made you feel good to be rude, so whatever.

[Kaleva]

113. That's why I gave this OP an unrec

[cwydro]

115. Good idea.

I think I'll follow your lead.

[MrsMatt]

114. +1

There is no cause to be rude in return for a single isolated act of rudeness.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

124. people do not have a right to you conversations. sorry, but that is what is rude

assuming we all need to talk in the same language as you, if we are not we are clearly talking about you

its a feeling of entitlement that should certainly not be encouraged

[cwydro]

133. I still wouldn't be rude to her.

But that is just me.

We really don't know if the woman was just genuinely curious (though ignorant) and meant nothing bad in her question. Maybe she was joking for all we know...

I work in a polyglot environment and have heard people wonder that same thing. I would never assume anyone was talking about me, but again, that's just me.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

135. yes, we do, those of us who speak foreign languages are fully aware

of the suspicion we deal with, from the english only folks

[cwydro]

146. The ones I see who think such silliness

(that someone is talking about them) are usually just insecure people who have not had a lot of exposure to other cultures.

I had a comment made to me when I was living in Germany, oddly enough in a checkout line also. I was speaking English and this woman, for whatever reason, took offense.

Now this was near a military base and Americans are generally looked down upon there, but still I was taken aback by her accosting me.

Still, I wasn't rude to her. I smiled and told her that if I were to speak German that she would VERY quickly ask me to revert to English. We both ended up laughing about it and thereafter would always speak at the grocery store, me in my pathetic German and her saying, "Well hello, how are you today?" in English.

[Bluerthanblue]

171. nice-

again.

You seem like a fun person. :hi: You took what could have been a completely negative experience and helped turn it around with your response.

kudos!

[cwydro]

191. Thanks.

She was pretty funny, that lady...one day watching me try to get a bunch of lettuce into these itty bitty bags they had for produce. I didn't see her that day, but suddenly heard this "tsk, tsk!' and she walked up, took the lettuce, turned it upside down and plunked it into the bag.

Then she walked away shaking her head, lol.

[pipi_k]

145. Actually I didn't see where the OP's reply was rude at all

Rude would have been "Fuck off, asshole"

or "Mind your own damned business"


All the OP did was remind the woman that people are free to speak whatever language they want to.

Without having some rude person stick their nose into the conversation. THAT is what was rude.

[JerseygirlCT]

165. Don't you think it was rude to intrude on a private conversation

with a demand that they speak in her language?

[Bluerthanblue]

181. you are either reading into this- or you are replying to the wrong post

where did she demand that they speak in her language?

And, yes, it was presumptuous of her to butt into their conversation, but the OP's response only added to the negativity.

:hi:

[JerseygirlCT]

186. I certainly would have taken a more diplomatic path on my

response. (A quizzical look and an assurance that we were not talking about her at all. Perhaps with a bit of a raised eyebrow at her for being so rude as to interrupt a private conversation...) No use in riling someone like that up even more.

But really, no one has a right to eavesdrop! And to be honest, even if they had been talking about her, it's still not her business.

[Deja Q]

189. Excellent question.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

245. Its far ruder to intrude on the privacy of others, than to assert your own right to privacy

and by privacy, i mean the social definition of the word. not the watered down legal definition.

[ZombieHorde]

118. She may have been paranoid. I worked in a group home and one of our clients was paranoid.

Sometimes, if she could not hear a conversation, she would become convinced those people were talking about her. It was really sad.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

120. An apt quote for the narcissistic lady.

At twenty we worry about what others think of us;
at forty we don't care about what others think of us;
at sixty we discover they haven't been thinking about us at all.
-- Author Unknown

[La Lioness Priyanka]

121. this is a good example of xenophobia. assumptions that we are all talking about them

people are unnecessarily suspicious of "foreigners"

[Bluerthanblue]

131. if the OP had begun whispering would you say the same thing?

People are made to try and understand what they hear. When a baby is crying in a store, particularly the "hunger" or "discomfort" cry, I can't help but respond internally. If I'm stuck in line when this is happening, I might smile at the baby- and Mother, or make small talk-

Assuming that the woman was xenophobic because she questioned the OP is pretty prejudiced in itself. It's easy to make assumptions about the woman who isn't here to tell of the experience from her point of view. It isn't clear as to whether the OP switched from speaking english to spanish while she was there, but the fact that she asked in english leads one to believe this is true. If they suddenly went from speaking english to spanish, there is some reason for her to be wondering why they did. I think people here are being pretty judgmental of this woman- She didn't come on here talking about the annoying couple in front of her in line- and if she did, I hope I wouldn't encourage her to reply with rudeness.


:shrug:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

134. people dont have a right to demand to know other peoples conversations

you dont get to dictate what language people use amongst themselves.

[Bluerthanblue]

143. I'm not saying she had a right to demand anything- I'm asking

if you would still feel the same way if the couple had begun whispering.

And I think your claim of xenophobia is unfounded and unfair.

I'm not supporting her for questioning the OP- (except that it was at least a pro-active response- she asked them rather than simply going on the assumption that they were talking negatively about her)

If you are in a PUBLIC PLACE having a discussion- people are going to hear. Some may be curious about what you are saying- and may ask. I wouldn't have encouraged the woman to butt in to their conversation- but she did. Seems to me the OP is looking for feedback on his response. And he's getting it. I think his response was unnecessarily unkind and arrogant. He had an opportunity to show the lady that he and his spouse were nice people and to help her feel less self-conscious- or concerned that others didn't like her. What he did was reinforce her supposedly "paranoid" fears.

When you are in public, you don't get to dictate how others behave. You can only control your own behaviour. I think the OP's behaviour was rude and unkind.

:hi:

[donco6]

167. Actually, no. I guess I don't have the paranoid gene.

I'd have just figured they were talking about something THAT DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

203. i think the OP did the right thing. enabling people to their sense of entitlement is just cowardly

[Bluerthanblue]

221. and you

have every right to your perspective.

You may consider replying in a positive way cowardly- I consider replying with a non-answer rude.

That doesn't make you a saint or me a bigot. It means we see things differently. That SHOULD be ok- among reasonable people.

peace~
:hi:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

242. Are you foreign to this country? Do you speak any foreign languages?

if not i dont believe your perspective is equal to mine to begin with. Also, i am not calling you a coward. Just saying that we do not have to enable peoples' various bigotries

[Bluerthanblue]

247. I'm not interested in beating a

dead horse into the dust, but it would be rude not to respond to your question. No i'm not foreign to this country, yes i do speak a foreign language as well as ASL, and i have friends and relatives from abroad who don't speak fluent english.
I also volunteer in my community helping refugees navigate our complicated culture, teaching survival english and trying to make some of the social challenges that can be so intimidating to people new to America a little less difficult and confusing.

I try very hard not to encourage bigotry of any kind in life. I can't say i succeed all the time. That's part of what bothered me about this entire thread- Judging the woman who's the villain, with such limited information, no input other than the little given in the OP seems unfair to me. I wasn't there, didn't hear or see the exchange, the body language, or the way any of the people actually behaved. I'm not naive or numb- I can understand the frustration the OP must have felt. Rudeness is difficult to deal with, and check-out lines that seem to move sooooo slow at the end of a long challenging day are often the last place anyone wants to be tested on their civility- but even still, i don't think the OP needed to respond the way he did.
I do still wonder about the motivation for the posting of this incident. Hell, we all have interactions that leave us disturbed- if the OP was checking in with this DU community to get feed-back, well then, we've given them a pretty good variety. ;)

I'm sorry we couldn't find more common ground. I'm not saying the woman was 'right' or 'entitled' to know what the OP was discussing- her behaviour isn't really anything any of us can really influence in our responses to this post-

I DO wish you well-

peace~
blu

[merh]

141. I was in the check out line the other day behind two men who

appeared to be Mexican. They were talking to each other in their native tongue and the checker snapped at them "Speak English, I don't know if you are saying bad things about it and it isn't fair."

How paranoid are people to assume that people speaking in a foreign language in their presence or near them are "talking bad" about them?

This world is scarey as all get out.

:scared:

[pipi_k]

148. IMO, if someone were to talk bad about me, I would much rather

they do it in their own language anyway.

At least I wouldn't know it and feel bad.


:7

[merh]

155. LOL, really.

What amazes me is the ego that is involved in thinking that "they are talking about me". Seems very strange to me.

[FlaGranny]

309. Hon, it's NOT ego.

It is insecurity. As a youngster, I was very familiar with it. I grew out of it when I realized that people weren't always talking about me and that they were much more interested in their own affairs. It was an excruciating experience, though, as anyone who has suffered with it would agree. Your face begins to feel hot and you get the same feeling you would get if your underpants fell off right in front of everyone.

[Bluerthanblue]

166. heh....

now that is a cute response.

:thumbsup:

:hi:

[Bluerthanblue]

162. the check out person was rude to talk to them like that. It IS human

nature to want to understand what others are thinking- especially in crowded public places where our internal radar is working overtime. "sensory overload"
(some of us really struggle with aspects of this)
I have PTSD, and sometimes i have an extremely difficult time when people are walking closely behind me. When this happens, i've learned to step aside and let whoever it is pass me, even when i'm in a hurry- That could be construed by some as offensive, when what it really is, is self-care.
We can't control how others perceive us. Our actions sometimes say different things than we realize, or intend. If we have a choice between being rude and being kind- why would we encourage each other to be rude?

How did the men respond to the clerk?

[merh]

194. They were very confused.

They either didn't understand what she was saying to them or why she would say it.

It was obvious that they were conversing with each other about matters unrelated to checking out. They continued to talk to each other as they had been.

[Bluerthanblue]

217. that is what I had

imagined. Their response was the most fitting reply to the clerk imo.

It's sad that she dumped her frustrations on them.

Thanks for the answer.

:hi:

[TK421]

176. Your response was appropriate....she was being nosy and I would have

responded more harshly myself. What business of hers was the discussion you were having? NONE and it just pissed her off because she couldn't understand what you were saying....that's the real reason she was pissed off and assumed you were talking about her.

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

178. The woman seems very insecure, almost paranoid. It might have been a kindness to reassure

her that the conversation had nothing to do with her.

[Deja Q]

182. Well, it's freedom for people who hear things to ask questions too.

Or do you want it both ways?

Best not to talk to people in such a short space of distance, even if it's nobody else's business to listen.

it's called "common decency".

Indeed, it's doubly insulting: If a friend and I were in Spain and speaking English, the non-English speaking Spaniard behind us would probably have a fit too.

There's a time and a place for everything. It's like common politeness no longer exists.


See, it's freedom for people who hear things to ask questions too.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

209. I don't think anybody's saying she didn't have the right to interrupt.

It's just that she was a rude xenophobic nut for doing so.

"Best not to talk to people in such a short space of distance, even if it's nobody else's business to listen."

It's best not to have a private conversation in public? What sort of shit is that?

" If a friend and I were in Spain and speaking English, the non-English speaking Spaniard behind us would probably have a fit too."

I don't know what you'd assume Spaniards are xenophobic dicks.

"It's like common politeness no longer exists."

You can't talk about politeness and defend this freak at the store.

[Withywindle]

290. Well, I think she didn't have a right to interrupt.

Maybe it's a city thing. City people learn how to tune out other people's conversations and mind our own business, because not doing so is a good way to get your ass kicked and have all the bystanders around think you had it coming.

Hell, it's a lot easier to do that when the conversation is in a language you don't understand. I LIKE that. It doesn't give me TMI about other people's family dramas or gross medical problems: too much of that all around in English!

[yodoobo]

185. This is one of the best parts of DU - Check out line stories

Its amazing how so much drama occurs in the checkout line.

Its like our version of Penthouse "forum"

[tammywammy]

190. LOL! Indeed! n/t

[Kaleva]

199. I loved the one about the member who went ballistic on a lady talking on her cell phone.

The woman was supposedly spewing right wing talking points and our hero decided enough was enough and went off on her.

[cwydro]

227. I remember that one!

That was a classic and sadly it won tons of approval.

Kind of interesting in light of this thread, eh?

[pipi_k]

231. So I was checking out on Amazon.com the other day, and...

nahhhhhhhhh....

too dramatic, even for DU


:7

[cherokeeprogressive]

277. Personally, I think most of them spout bullshit. Most of these things don't happen at all.

I think most of the checkout line drama queens use their time in the checkout line to make shit up.

Then again, they know that if they log in and post what they dreamed up and how boldly and totally they put the non-existing offending party in their place, DUers will rise to the bait and shower them with praise.

Bottom line is, most of the shit we read here about checkout line drama and all its cousins is nothing more than bald-faced lies.

[immoderate]

323. I was just thinking that. If only there were a forum for check out line experiences...

None of which ever happen to me. :cry:

--imm

[FormerDittoHead]

192. I have a reply but I'm not going to write it here. n/t

[Mad_Dem_X]

197. Talk about paranoid.

Just because someone is using a different language around you, doesn't mean they are talking about you. What a foolish woman.

[aikoaiko]

206. Somehow this was funnier on Seinfeld. Season 6: Episode 23

Season 6, Episode 23: The Understudy
Original Air Date—18 May 1995
Jerry dates the ultra-sensitive understudy for Bette Midler in Rochelle, Rochelle: The Musical. When the Improv is scheduled to play Rochelle Rochelle in a softball game, George plows into catcher Bette Midler to score the winning run. Bette is injured because of the incident and is unable to perform in the Broadway premiere. Jerry, George, and the understudy are vilified for the incident, and Kramer goes out of his way to help Bette. Meanwhile, Elaine suspects that a local nail shop is making fun of her in Korean. She learns that George's dad Frank speaks Korean and brings him along to spy on them. Frank recalls his time in the Korean war and how he had an affair with a young Korean woman. Elaine gets kicked out of the nail shop and wanders around aimlessly, and has a chance encounter with catalog magnate J. Peterman, who hires Elaine to work for the catalog.

If I understand correctly, you did start to speak Spanish to keep her and others from understanding your conversation. With that context, she was spot on about what you were doing, but wrong about the motivation. She asked a simlple question which you didn't really answer. Your answer would have been great if she asked you to stop speaking in Spanish, but that's not what she asked. If I were you, I would have simple said, 'no', and carried on. To each their own.

[Indenturedebtor]

219. Haha nice response. I recently had a pug at work say that someone "Spoke American"

I looked at him like he was from another planet and after a 5 second pause he said "English I mean English" lol.

Doofii are everywhere. :smackforehead:

[Prism]

220. Lawdy, the disingenuousness

My family has intermarried quite a bit with Spanish-speakers to the point about a third of my family is more comfortable speaking Spanish. I'm fluent, but rarely use it in mixed company, so many of the more distant members forget I can understand what's being said.

In my experience, when people are speaking English and suddenly flip into Spanish, they're - yep - oftentimes discussing the people around them. It happens so often, my ears perk up when a conversation suddenly veers into Spanish because I love hearing people talk smack and assume I and others can't understand a word of it.

In check out lines? Same thing. Even when I'm not actively listening, lost in the world of "Kit Kat or Snickers?", a language switch draws my attention. I've caught plenty of incidents of people who just want to make snarky little comments about the people around them.

Not that there's anything wrong with it. It's just the linguistic equivalent of giving the person you're with "that look" and tilting your head so they can see whatever human travesty that's caught your eye and share in the mutual jack-assery. When with my sister-in-law, we frequently fall into Spanish to make little remarks.

So this "Ah mah gahd, we're never talking about you!" denialism is hilarious. People do it all the time. Who cares? It's shitty, but people are always exchanging glances and communicating with each other, verbally or not, about some perceived wreck they've spotted in public.

Why so defensive?

[Bluerthanblue]

223. !

you are feeding the paranoia-

:evilgrin:

thanks for your honesty.

[Prism]

230. LOL, sorry

I just don't see it as much different than the looks we give people we're with. We all do it to some degree. In a store, my boyfriend will pointedly glance at someone, pointedly glance at me, and then I'll look and know immediately what he's thinking (usually not very nice, because we're awful, catty people in private).

A different language is just another tool for that kind of circumspect communication that plenty of people engage in. Not always, of course. People have their reasons for switching up languages in mid-conversation. But these protestations that "We never talk about others!" amuse me.

It's just how humans are. As long as the assholery is kept in private, I don't mind - and hey, I'm just as guilty. It's when it's directed outwards that I object.

[cwydro]

229. Great post!

Lol!

[madmom]

222. "Why? Are you some one important?"

[MoonRiver]

228. I wonder why you've been unrecommended?

Your post is not offensive, but merely an observation of human behavior. Have you made any enemies on DU lately?

[Hepburn]

233. I don't look Hispanic, but I grew up speaking a Romance language...

...Romanian -- and therefore I understand spoken Spanish quite well. I have a totally horrible neighbor and she is Mexican -- and, no, she is not horrible because she is Mexican she is just an awful, hateful person. She speaks Spanish around me all the time to others who also speak Spanish and she has NO clue that I understand everything she is saying. And here, she thinks she is being sooooooo freaking secretive and talking about me behind my back! Some day I am gonna let her know that I have understood every nasty thing she has said about me.

LOL...:evilgrin:

[Kaleva]

253. Growing up, I loved reading the Hardy Boys series. Didn't care for romance.

:)

[Hepburn]

270. LOL....

...whoosh....:rofl:

[A-Schwarzenegger]

236. That's one of the most beautiful stories I've ever heard

in any language. I prefer nobody talks around me at all
because even if I happen to understand what they're saying,
I always suspect that there is a subtext that is making fun
of me. Still, I admire that you stuck up for freedom and
cultural democracy.

[Thickasabrick]

238. Maybe the divorced friend being discussed had the same name as the lady behind

you - could have been perfectly innocent.

[Withywindle]

240. Man, she'd go insane in 10 seconds on the Chicago el.

People all around her, packed in tight, speaking Spanish, Polish, Russian, Hindi, Vietnamese, Korean, Arabic, Serbian....

and she'd think they're ALL talking about HER. :crazy:


Paranoia can be just another form of megalomania. Why assume you're important enough to be on everyone else's mind all the time?



I think your response was fine.

[southernyankeebelle]

243. Wow, I am glad you didn't tell her what you said. It's not her business

and you were right to tell her. It isn't against the law to speak another language. My parents used to speak Italian when they didn't want us to know what they were talking about. Funny though after awhile we got to understand what they were saying.

[flvegan]

244. This thread has not gone well.

[donco6]

249. It sure took off to a place I didn't see coming

But it tells me a lot about the state of things around here.

[LWolf]

250. I think our nation would be better off being multi-lingual.

Meanwhile, I've seen that exact same offense, repeatedly. At school. I've seen english-only speakers offended by being excluded from conversations near them; not overhearing strangers' conversations, but excluded by people they know. I've seen those speaking the other language understand, and reach out to include them, and I've seen them use it as a weapon, deliberately and overtly using it to gossip loudly, with drama, veering their eyes towards those who couldn't understand them.

I'd like to see 2nd language learning begin in preschool for all Americans. Until we ARE multi-lingual, though, it seems like the best way to move us in that direction is to be as inclusive as possible.

[Thickasabrick]

251. My experience. I use to live in Houston and worked in an office

building that required a slow moving elevator ride. Many people who worked in the building spoke other languages, (to this day I'm not sure exactly what). When riding in the elevator everyday, people who would converse in another language riding with me was not the problem. The problem was when they would look at me when they were doing it.

Call me crazy, but it made me paranoid as shit.

So...speak in whatever language you prefer but make an effort not to make eye contact with anyone in earshot - it really creeps people out.

[RB TexLa]

252. There is no way to care what it does to them.

[Bluerthanblue]

254. ?

could you explain this?

"No way to care what it does to them?"

I can't believe you don't care about what your actions do to other people.

thanks.

[Thickasabrick]

257. I thought it was bizarre too....thanks for the question mark. From this

thread I get the feeling some people "get off" on making people feel uncomfortable.

[ret5hd]

272. here may be your answer:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=5330132

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=389&topic_id=2951799

some people think this may be an andy kaufmanesque character trying for a few giggles.

[Bluerthanblue]

274. well,

that just creates more questions in my mind- but then i'm weird, i admit it.

this is what i expected to find at your link-

reply # 7
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x832602

[timo]

276. i think so too

I am a gringo in a 99% hispanic populated area and I NEVER let on that I can habla espanol, but I sure do like to hammer that ass when I catch them being rude!!!

[TexasObserver]

263. You should never have to explain your language usage to a stranger in line.

Your post goes to the heart of a diverse society. Do those who are speaking a foreign language have any duty to explain it to others? Unless such persons are working in service capacity to the public, the answer is "no, there is no duty to explain it in English."

[Mrs. Overall]

269. What has happened around here? I mean, what the fuck has happened around here?

I just came from a thread where DUers are upset that Obama is trying to reduce nuclear weapons to DUers being upset about foreign languages being spoken in public.

Weird. I feel like such a radical leftist on this board these days.

[donco6]

310. Join the club

Maybe we form a subgroup Democratic REAALLY REALLY UNDERGROUND.

[Odin2005]

278. Wow, what a rude lady.

My Spanish is decent so I often switch to Spanish if I'm talking to a Latino whose English is not that good. One time while I was doing that some asshole came up and said "Why are you letting them speak Spanish? This is America, make them speak English." :puke:

[Greyhound]

281. You wouldn't be so concerned about what others think of you if you realized

just how little they do".

Angry, ignorant, and utterly self-centered, it's the American way.

[AspenRose]

288. "If you'll forgive me for not answering, I'll forgive you for asking."

[maddezmom]

293. kick

[RB TexLa]

294. What reason could anyone have to care about someone else talking about them?

Really, in the language they speak or not. I couldn't care if people are talking about me, I can't think of any reason why I would. What could be a possible reason?

[bigwillq]

295. If they're doing it behind my back.

And I find out, and it's someone that should be saying it to my face. Some people don't need to say it to my face, but, depending on who it is, I would rather them say it to my face, especially if we were close.

[RB TexLa]

296. behind a back, in front of me, where I can't hear them, still can't think of a reason to care.

[bigwillq]

297. I just gave you my reason, that's all.

You said you had no reason. I wasn't asking for your reason, I only gave you mine. And I would care if a person I cared about was talking behind my back and not to my face. If we are that close, that person should be able to come to me with anything and not feel like I would be offended or angry or upset. But that's me. Obviously that is not you.

[greenbriar]

298. this needed its own thread?

why

[ret5hd]

299. I don't gossip with you.

[Kaleva]

300. Paranoia maybe.

A simple, polite answer would have saved us all from a long winded, divisive thread. LOL! Altough I gave you an unrec in that thread, I did find the debate to be quite interesting.

[BlooInBloo]

301. I care deeply.

No, not really.

[Fire1]

302. I don't think anybody really "cares" unless it is obvious they

are the topic of conversation. In which case, I think whispering and speaking in another language is rude.

[pipi_k]

303. Can't remember who said it...

Oscar Wilde?

anyway...

"The only thing worse than being talked about is NOT being talked about"


:7

[petronius]

304. Party foul! No double-dipping...

[madmom]

305. I always figured if they're talking about me, they're leaving some other poor soul alone.

[Hannah Bell]

306. you live in texas & you're using spanish to speak "discretely"?

funny stuff.

[cwydro]

307. And actually, it is "discreetly"...

if we are going to use English, let's use it correctly.;-)

[cherokeeprogressive]

315. This is the reason I think the whole story is BS, as are most of the "I smacked 'em down" stories.

People with too much time on their minds making shit up.

[FlaGranny]

308. Would you

do what happens in my community? We have 3 workers, 2 Hispanic (1 Cuban and 1 Puerto Rican) and 1 English-only speaker. They are a crew. The 2 Hispanics ALWAYS speak Spanish in the presence of the 1 English speaker. I feel extremely bad for the English speaker as he is always left out of every conversation. They only talk to him when they have to. He is a little "slow" mentally and it certainly can't be pleasant for him. Both the Hispanics speak passable English. I think they are being very rude. In the supermarket episode you speak of I believe the woman was most probably being rude, but did you ever consider that perhaps a glance one of you may have given her as you were laughing or talking might have made her uncomfortable and caused her to feel you were talking about her? Perhaps she has features she doesn't like and thought you were discussing them. Or maybe she just doesn't like "foreigners." Anyway, I have a habit of trying to look at both sides of any incident.

[guitar man]

313. Whet's wrong with you

Don't you know



:rofl:













:sarcasm: (for the impaired)

[gbate]

318. A co-worker told me that she won't get a manicure at a place "run by Orientals."

She thinks it's "rude" that they speak their own language to each other.

[LanternWaste]

322. Talking about the marital problems of other people?

Talking about the marital problems of other people? Well, I suppose a free human being can discuss any classless matter that suites them...