Glenn Beck Marries Glenn Beck

[Christa]

Fox News television host Glenn Beck married himself Sunday evening on the precipice of a small hill overlooking the Mexican border. “I’ve never seen him happier,” said Kenneth Duncan, a longtime friend. “All these years looking for true love and it turns out he was standing right there the whole time.”

The border wedding was an extravagant affair attended by a number of prominent conservatives, as well as Fox News executives, Birthers, Klansmen, Moonies, anarchists, Neo-Nazis, fascists, Swift Boaters, Scientologists, Moonie Boaters, a goat named Paul and the close friends and family of both Mr. Beck and himself. Guests were served champagne glasses filled with the blood of socialists and rump steaks shaped like shotguns, which were served on what the wedding planner said were copies of President Obama’s Kenyan birth certificate. The revelers were treated to flaming ‘End of the World crème brulees’ which, after the first bite, exploded into angry balls of apocalyptic hellfire.

Mr. Beck wore a tuxedo made from the fur of Glenn Glenn, his beloved pet llama, whom he’d recently killed to spare her the pain of living in President Obama’s ‘hip-hop communist nanny state.’ The ceremony was presided over by the ghost of Joe McCarthy, who chewed on the thumb of a dead film director while reading fiery damnation prayers from a black list. Some guests teared up as they watched Mr. Beck exchange vows with himself, place wedding bands on each of his ring fingers and then make it official by stomping on a glass made to resemble President Obama's head.

Full article:

http://open.salon.com/blog/km_breay/2009/08/31/glenn_beck_marries_glenn_beck

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[TheCowsCameHome]

1. I don't even want to know what the wedding night will consist of....

[bigwillq]

4. Same as every other night

just him and his hand.

[3waygeek]

2. Now Glenn can legally go fuck himself n/t

[hileeopnyn8d]

3. Good one!

[HysteryDiagnosis]

5. What if Glenn Beck got sick and no doctors came? n/t