Do you ever get so infuriated over something someone you don't even know says.....

[ejpoeta]

that you can't let it go?? I had posted about an exchange I had with a friend of mine on facebook. It is posted here: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=6522900&mesg_id=6522900 no one responded to it. But then some guy I don't know chimed in.....

he said:

How can you possibly relate organ donors to abortion , we are talking about saving lives with parts from someone who has already died and killing an unborn child because and I will quote you here "it's what is best for me" that has got to be the most ignorant argument I have ever heard on this subject.

This infuriated me!! First of all, is this guy dense, because one can donate blood and organs without being dead. And one can recieve organs and blood.... and there are religions who believe that the body is sacred and therefore no blood or body parts from one body should be mingled with another. so, if we are basing federal funding of healthcare on a person's beliefs, then based on what jehovah witness believe, we would not have any federal funding of these things which could be life and death for a person. But I was infuriated at this guy trying to tell ME what i can and can't do with my own body.

I responded:

well, when you can carry a child then maybe you should have a say in the matter, but as far as i am concerned, MEN should not get a say. why it is that everyone seems to think that they can weigh in on what women can and can't do is beyond me!! If you don't want abortion, then DON"T HAVE ONE!!! in this country, you have the right to decide things for YOURSELF.... everyone says government should stay out of decisions between a doctor and a patient... except when it has to do with WOMEN!!!

But his response to this was:

have 2 adopted children that could have just as easily been dead . That gives me every right to weigh in just as you have .

So he thinks that because he benefited from a woman choosing to have the baby and give it up, that gives him the right to make the choice for me?? I want to reply that adopting children does not give him a right to anything. but I do not want to be disrespectful. Part of me wants to just let it go because nothing I say is going to matter to this person. It's about choice. This man knows nothing about me... why should he have the right to tell me whether I have to have a child or not? And it shouldn't be up to him. Just as it shouldn't be up to me whether he can buy Viagra... his response would be something about killing unborn babies is not the same thing. It's about your right to what you believe... and my right to what I believe. Just because he may believe that unborn babies should always be born, doesn't mean that eveyrone else believes that.

How many kids are sitting in foster homes right now?? How many unwanted babies who have been abused or neglected because they were born into homes where their mother couldn't care for them. No one can know the situation these girls and women are in that they make that choice. I may not personally believe in abortion, but it is not for me to decide for someone else. Why should this MAN be able to take that right away from me?? even if he did adopt two children. how many of those kids sitting in foster homes is he going to adopt!!

I don't know why I am so upset by this guy. I don't know him... but there never seems to be a shortage of people who think that somehow I am selfish if I decide to not have a baby. No one is trying to force their beliefs on this guy... but somehow it's ok to force their beliefs on me. I would love to ask my sister what she would say.... she would never bring a child into this world... but she represents them in family court all the time.... She is strong pro choice... And i bet she could eviscerate this guy without batting an eyelash.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

1. You can let go of it now -

you're all done.

Congratulations.............

[virgogal]

2. No. eom

[Slit Skirt]

3. hey I understand

I try to tell people...look you want to keep your baby...you have the choice to do that..no one is making you get rid of it.
I want the same choice
no one making me get rid of it
no one making me keep it.

my decision..that's all

[ejpoeta]

5. crazy thing is i am 8 1/2 mos pregnant and arguing with this man over

my right to choose. LOL! I mean, I have two kids already. And I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world... but after we had emily, there was a time when there was no way I would have wanted to bring another child into that situation we were in. We couldn't keep the house warm and were struggling just to keep food in the house and not freeze to death. We didn't even know how long we'd have a roof over our head. So, should I be forced to bring a child into that AND thereby making the situation even worse for my daughter that was already there??? I am glad we never faced that choice.

When we had lost everything in a fire and found ourselves in a better situation, we made a choice to have another child. But I ended up having a miscarriage which was devastating to me. But in the end it was probably best at the time. And we tried again and we have Ashley who just started preschool. Now this third one was not planned... and I admit I wasn't exactly thrilled considering I had just gotten ashley out of pull ups and full time in underwear and potty trained... but I also know that we should be fine and can handle another one... i hope. lol.

The thing is... I KNOW what it feels like to have a baby growing inside of you. I can feel her moving and kicking... I have seen the ultrasound and considered names. And even still, I believe that a woman MUST be able to make that choice.... better to not bring a child into this world who isn't wanted and can't be taken care of.

I know we don't like to equate ourselves with animals, but we are. And if you watch animals, you will see how cruel a world it can be. I have seen cats shun their own babies because they have too many.... favoring some and leaving one to die. For the betterment of the rest of the babies. Sometimes, that is just how it has to be.

It is hard enough for women.... we tend to feel guilt over every decision we ever make. And there are plenty of people out there who have never had to make that choice.... I'm glad if they've never had to make that choice... but we don't all have leave it to beaver upbringings. Life isn't always ozzie and harriet. and no one can possibly know what some teenager who thought her boyfriend loved her and then dumped her and left her alone and pregnant must be feeling... especially if her parents would disown her if they found out. Or a woman who can barely take care of herself.... no one can know but those women in those situations what is best for them... and they do need to do what's best for them.... and for an unborn child.

[pinto]

6. Really well said. I hope all goes smoothly for you & yours. Thanks for the post.

:hi:

[Slit Skirt]

7. yeah...exactly...well thought out...

and what pisses me off is they act like we want abortions and make those decisions like we chose the flavor of ice cream we want

and what pisses me off more than anything...is some ignorant man trying to make a choice for me...he will never know nor understand what a woman goes through when the situation is overwhelming.

good luck to you. I really wish you the best
think positive what goes around comes around...

[pipi_k]

4. On this particular issue, I refuse to get into discussing ethics or details

with those people because it's something that can go on forever.

My only reply to them is...

You don't want to have an abortion? Fine don't have one. But keep your fucking nose out of my (and other women's) business. Period.

[gleaner]

8. You're right, and you have put it well......

Good for him for adopting two children. But he didn't carry them and I doubt that he would want someone to try to force him if he had the capability. He is as thick as a plank, and nothing you say would make any difference.

Way back in the dark ages before there was any legal abortion I took my 15 year old self around circulating petitions to try to legalize abortion in my state. It was a real education in how ignorant people can be. I was called the "anti Christ," a whore, a "Communist bitch," and many other epithets too colorful to reproduce.;) Some people spat at me and some just slammed their doors in my face. This was in the relatively liberal state of California in the 60's for a ballot initiative. It was during my first few months as a Young Democrat. A lot of the people that were the most abusive were women. I never understood why. No one would have forced them, we were trying to give them a choice. In retrospect it is both pitiful and funny. Pitiful because people refused even to listen and funny because I spent most of my day with my mouth hanging open because I was hearing and seeing things I could not have imagined existed. When I told my mother about it later, she said not to worry about it. They had rocks in their heads and the right to choose is precious to women.

She was right and I still support choice. I just try not to bust a gut when a plank tries to tell me my business. I just resolve twice as hard to try to keep him in a position where he is unable to do so. That may seem to get harder and harder with time, but legalizing choice for women in the first place was harder still.

Congratulations! You did say all of the right things. You just said them to a troglodyte.:fistbump: