Thank Jesus we have Ted Stevens in the Senate to

[saltpoint]

get to the bottom of this Karl Rove missing email thing.

Who better than Ted to plunge into the intricacies of cyber-tech difficulties and bring the whole mess to light?

Slap on a visor, Ted, and get to work!

[Sir Jeffrey]

1. Yeah...

he said he downloaded the entire internet one time. I'm sure Rove's emails had to be included in that...

[saltpoint]

6. That's right. They must be in there somewhere...

All it is is a series of tubes. How hard could it be to find a few emails?

[Sir Jeffrey]

10. "what happens to your own personal internet?"

Yes indeed, Senator Stevens, what happens to your own personal internet.

[saltpoint]

13. Ted's new thought is that hey, maybe every single person could have

his or her own internet -- at HOME!

In their own house!

[Sir Jeffrey]

18. You're crazy...

how am I supposed to fit my own internet, which many have gone on record to describe as a "big truck", into my home? I don't think I have the square footage for that.

[saltpoint]

21. LOL! You could add a room in the back. Someone in Rove's office could

get you a no-bid contract for that with Halliburton.

[Hippo_Tron]

25. Ted Stevens promises a car, a refrigerator, and an internet in every American home

[saltpoint]

27. "Clear the driveway, Pappa! The truck with the internet is due any minute!"

[CottonBear]

2. The missing e-mails are stuck in the tubes of the intenets! LOL! n/t

[GreenPartyVoter]

4. Quick! Call RotoRooter!

[saltpoint]

7. I think it should be listed under "Rove-O-Rooter."

[GreenPartyVoter]

11. ooh, good point!

[CottonBear]

14. ROFL! Y'all are cracking me up!

:rofl:

:hi:

[AlinPA]

22. Now, that is funny! Still laughing.........

[myrna minx]

36. You gotta snake the internet tubes!

:rofl:

[WindRavenX]

3. Is this the same guy of the internet "tubes" fame?

NT

[saltpoint]

8. The very one. The guy's a genius, I tell ya. A genius. Wizard on wheels.

[Mz Pip]

5. Perhaps Ted can

send an army of hamsters into the tubes to root out the missing emails. THough I suspect he already sent in an army of mice to shred them.

Mz Pip
:dem:

[myrna minx]

38. I now think I have a good mental image of how the internets work now.

It's just one interconnected Habitrail and you can roll that little hamster ball from site to site. I'm glad that's cleared up for me now. :rofl:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

9. Ted'll dig up those tubes of the internets to get them e-mails!

What a numbass.

[saltpoint]

12. Where'd we be without his visionary instinct?

[Parche]

15. Missing Emails

We found them, they are under his 'Bridge to Nowhere'

[saltpoint]

19. That's them! They were being guarded as all things under a bridge are --

by a troll.

Wait. That's not a troll. That's Karen Hughes!

[Blue_In_AK]

16. Hey, now, be nice to old Ted...

He's delivered more pork to our fair state than any other single person could possibly have done. :rofl:

[saltpoint]

20. True, but he's directed his staff to the next level: Cyber-Pork.

He's an adept at 'the internets' and is even ordering computers for his office in Washington, I heard.

That Ted. Always at the cusp of a new revolution!

[lonestarnot]

17. OMG funny fucking thread!

:rofl:

[saltpoint]

29. Hi, lonestarnot. I don't run into you on DU nearly as much as I

would like to.

Hope it's all good with you.

:hi:
:dem:

[lonestarnot]

35. Very busy these days, but I'm still here!

All is ok, will be better when impeachment proceedings start! :hi: :hug: :loveya:

[saltpoint]

40. Sounds good to me. Let's draft the articles and get Dubya

impeached by Tuesday noon, at the latest.

And let's add Uncle Dick to the articles as well.

President Pelosi by noon Tuesday.

:toast:

[lonestarnot]

41. Sounds marvelous!

:toast:

[Ezlivin]

23. I had to use "The Google" to learn more about Ted Stevens

What tube is he in?

[Hippo_Tron]

24. Karl Rove's internets must have gotten clogged up

See, he sent them Friday and they haven't gotten here yet. It's because of all of the things going on the internet commercially, those kids downloading movies and such. Now see you can't just dump stuff on the internet like all these movies, cause it's not a big truck. If it was a big truck then you'd just go into the pile and find Rove's internets. The internets are all clogged up in the series of tubes and can't be found, obviously.

[Buns_of_Fire]

43. It's all the hamsters stuck in there

(reference post #5) Hmmmph. Gerbiling the Internets. They all turn into preverts when they get to Washington, I tell ya!

[JNelson6563]

26. Ok, everyone knows you don't need a visor in

the internet tubes. Don't you know anything? ;-)

But seriously, this oughta be good! Lots and lots of material for the Daily Show. Maybe Colbert could have Stevens on as a guest? Ah, the possibilities for comedy are endless!

:popcorn:

Julie

[saltpoint]

28. What -- you kiddin' me? Ted's an expert! Experts have to wear visors!

Hi ya, JNelson6563. Good to see you today. Hope all's well your way.

[myrna minx]

37. Visors and shirt sleeve garders, ya know! n/t

[saltpoint]

42. That's right. The whole works. Ted doesn't mess around.

He's the best at what he does, whatever that is.

[KansDem]

30. Poor Theodore. He is still arguing that Alaska drilling *will not* cause global warming...

As if that were ever an argument...:crazy:

[saltpoint]

31. Some days Ted has that visor on, and some days he must forget it back home.

The man is a total cretin, isn't he?

[KansDem]

33. Listen to NPR's interview with him from Wednesday.

NPR

Amazing...

[saltpoint]

34. Thanks for that link, KansDem. Yep. Good ol' Ted Drill-or-Die Stevens.

[TZ]

32. I have to say NO! (lol)

Jon Stewart gets alot of good material from this guy......:)

[King Coal]

39. Ted Quotes

Ten movies streaming across that, that Internet, and what happens to your own personal Internet? I just the other day got... an Internet was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday, I got it yesterday. Why? Because it got tangled up with all these things going on the Internet commercially.
<...> They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the Internet. And again, the Internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a big truck. It's a series of tubes. And if you don't understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and it's going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.

[Buns_of_Fire]

44. So the problem is that the Internets is (are?) constipated?

Okay 86 the Hamsters and Gerbils (and snakes! why'd it have to be snakes?) -- now we need some electronic Metamucil.