How do you deal with the rage?

[Downtown Hound]

Here's an interesting topic IMHO. I think everybody here is familiar with rage. We've all felt it, not only throughout our lives, but especially during the last nine years. We watched as a bumbling sociopath stole a presidency from us that we had rightfully won. We watched as 3000 human lives ended while he read a book about somebody's pet goat. We watched as he took us to war against a country that had nothing to do with the attack but everything to do with oil. We watched as countless innocent people and U.S. soldiers lost their lives, had their lives ruined, their bodies maimed, their minds shattered, and their souls die.

We watched as one of America's greatest cities was allowed to drown while the same bumbling sociopath cut cake with the man who would later run for president. We watched as our economy collapsed, and people with college degrees, good jobs, and good homes end up living in tent cities.

We also watched as our dreams of conquering the Republicans came to pass. We defeated McCain, took the House, and got a 60 seat majority in the Senate. And yet, we still can't seem to end the wars that we all hate, we can't get the health care we need, and the insanity of the right still seems to dominate our political discourse even though they are supposed to have no power.

What methods do you have for dealing with it? How do you personally handle all the rage that comes from it?

[Solly Mack]

1. I clean my bathrooms from top to bottom, every nook and cranny, when I'm truly angry.

No. I don't take my anger out on other people's toilets. :)

[orleans]

63. damn! i was just gonna invite you over on one of your mad days....n/t

[Solly Mack]

70. lol! a lot of people have (tried) over the years :o)

[abq e streeter]

2. resignation that fascism is already here, and here to stay, and being glad I'll be dead

soon enough to not have to deal with it for more than a relatively small percentage of my time on earth.

[mdmc]

25. so sad

[abq e streeter]

37. yeah, pretty pathetic, I admit, and at least I still pretend like I think there's still hope

I called the offices of both my senators' local offices yesterday about the health public option, have recently signed some online petitions such as asking advertisers to stop supporting Glen BecKKK , and I generally stay informed ( maybe too much) etc...But in my heart of hearts I think it's a done deal; the game has been rigged by forces more powerful than all of us put together, and I'm glad I'm relatively old, and won't see decades of fascist America with younger generations brainwashed into thinking it's all OK...Even my 91 year old dad, a WW2 vet, who always has counseled me against using "extreme language" has stunned me recently by being as "extreme " as me, if not more, due to what he's seen in his 91 years. His opinion is also that fascism is already here and that what he's seeing now "reminds(him) of Mussolini". So yeah, my rage has turned into a resigned "fuck it, they won"...but with a great deal of sympathy for those who will live with it far longer than I will.

[nadinbrzezinski]

47. +1

this is the way it is... people still think they are free though.

[galileoreloaded]

58. "may your chains rest lightly"....about sums it up I think....n/t

[Tangerine LaBamba]

59. Right behind you, my friend -

I realized a while back that I've given up. It came as quite a surprise to me, given that I was still sucking up all the political news I could get, but I suddenly caught myself doing it as a rote exercise. I was doing it because that's what I've always done.

And then I realized I was thinking of something that my late father had done, something that used to drive me insane when I was a young kid.

He'd scan the newspapers - we got three in our well-informed house - and then settle in to do the crossword puzzles. I'd be watching the news on TV, having inhaled the papers earlier, and I'd say something to him about whatever was on the news, and he'd sort of frown and say, "Whatever it is, it'll screw the people."

Drove me nuts.

"How can you say that?" I'd beseech him. "You're not even paying attention."

"Because," he would say every time, because I never gave up, "I've lived long enough to see it all before, and now it's just happening all over again. It's all the same. Different names, different faces, different crooks. But they're all the same. There's nothing new."

Damn if I didn't live long enough to say that my Dad was right. Just as your Dad is right.

They've got us. We're pawns and tokens and money machines. That's all. We can stand on the sidewalks and scream our rage as the leaders parade past, but their limousines are soundproofed, so all they do is smile and wave at us, and then they go on, leaving us and our heartbreak and disappointments behind.

They do as they please. No matter how much I tried to believe that things had changed on January 20 of this year, I can no longer strike that pose. It's all a game, a sham, and the money guys own it all. They own all the politicians, and so they own us.

We're not even gonna get crumbs. They've realized that they can do whatever they want with us, and get away with it. Obama, who promised such great change, has fallen into line and is doing the bidding of the big bucks boys who put him in office. I'm sure he's a very good person, but his ambition and charisma fit in very nicely with the plans of the people who decided a "liberal Democrat" should win this time. Better to be able to blame the final collapse on the Democrats.

I'm glad I'm old, and, like you, I am relieved that my time on this earth is not stretching out vast and endless before me, as it did when I was twenty-one years old. They've done it all to me and to my fellow Americans and to what used to be my wonderful America. Now, we're nothing but avatars, and we're doing what we have to do to keep on living.

But, I'm no longer sure of why we're even doing that. It's just sad and tragic, depressing. Every day, there is a new betrayal, another sell-out, a capitulation, a compromise, a surrender. I spent my life fighting for what I thought were the right things, and I had some small victories. That makes me happy and proud, because I made a good difference in some lives. The best I could hope for, and I did it. That's good.

Now, I'll just watch and lament. I have become my old Italian grandmother and her women friends, ladies dressed in black, mourning their lost children or husbands, ladies who watched it all and commented on it, worrying their rosaries as they gossiped about the neighbors, never missing anything, but always putting forth those remarkable and laden sighs as they rose when evening fell and it was time to go back into their nearby houses. They walked so slowly, bidding each other a tired "Buona sera."

I don't wear black, and wouldn't know what to do with a rosary, but I've heard my sigh, and I know how it feels to walk home in that darkening night, knowing that tomorrow will just be more of the same. I hope, I only hope that the new day won't hurt me or anyone I love.

The sky keeps getting darker..................................................

[abq e streeter]

61. I sometimes almost convince myself that there's still hope...almost...

I was just looking at the words to Leonard Cohen's Everybody Knows. He cuts right to the heart of it too... And also found myself wishing that your anonymity didn't matter ( though I of course understand the need for it), because even just in posts like this, the exceptional quality of your writing shines through and makes me wish all the more that I could have the privilege of reading your books. Oh well; like I said, I understand. And everybody ( with a functioning brain anyway) knows...

[The Stranger]

74. Damn, even I'm not that pessimistic (and that's saying something).

I almost want to thank you for my not feeling so bad now.

[deep1]

49. Sad.....

Because I have a whole life time to go. I'm 26.

[northernlights]

66. then you can start preparing your escape now

if I'd known then what I know now, I'd be in much better shape. I was always about a decade behind...

You can still get work -- they aren't throwing us out like used up paper rags until we hit the magic 50. That age may drop to the magic 40, but that shift would be temporary.

Live light, save and put your savings someplace where they can't steal it. Learn to live without them. Learn to grow some of your own food and medicine -- even in an apartment, you can grow some fruits, veggies and herbs in pots and learn from that experience. Learn to sew and basic carpentry, plumbing and electricity. Totally illiterate people can assemble, install and maintain solar panels. Learn wind power as well. Study basic spanish, french and maybe portuguese.

Study the countries, their people, climate and geography. And their governments and immigration policies. Narrow down the list of where you can live a decent life.

Learn to speak the language(s) there. Learn a job with a chronic worldwide shortage, such as something in healthcare. if a certification is required in your chosen country, find out the requirements and make plans to get it.

And when you are ready, pack your bags and leave. THere is nothing left here but disintigration.

[tavalon]

73. I was going to say, become a nurse

Even at 46, I can still emigrate. I think it's that possibility that keeps me somewhat sane. That, and talking to people here, instead of my colleagues who are, well, shallow for the most part.

[dem629]

3. No rage. Disappointment, yes. But you can't let rage take over your life.

It's just not worth it.

If I feel myself feeling too frustrated, I walk away from it. That will not be a popular opinion here, but that's fine with me. Everyone has their own methods of dealing with frustration, stress, etc.

Go do something you enjoy. Turn off those awful cable shows for a day or two. Work on a hobby. Play with an animal. Smile. Laugh. BREATHE and breathe deeply. It's amazing what slow deep breaths can do for you. Just enjoy something for a day, or two, or three.

Then go back to the politics refreshed. But take care of your own mental health first. Seriously.

[elocs]

6. Me too. No rage, just disappointment.

Rage and hate are self destructive. Life is too short.

[Parker CA]

30. +1. Rage will do you no good. Yoga works for my general stress, but I never let it get close to

rage or even anger very often.

A long walk and deep breaths of cool air should help too. Or, as some have said, turning the computer off and taking a break if you can't find a way to temper the building anger.

[SeekerBlue]

4. Teeth grinding, lack of sleep, bitchiness

Seriously.

[phantom power]

5. The healing power of laughter.

[proteus_lives]

22. Great Joker pic!

I love The Killing Joke. Alan Moore is a god.

[phantom power]

45. I use that pic kind of a lot here on DU...

a habit which may indicate something short of optimal mental health when I think about it.

[AllenVanAllen]

62. The Brian Bolland Joker always reminded me of

a young Brad Dourif




and I agree Alan Moore is god.

[proteus_lives]

77. Wow! There is a striking resemblance!

He's a good actor too!

[Birthmark]

7. With my own rage?

That's easy. I have a short attention span for emotional issues, for the most part. On those rare occasions where I feel rage I simply forget about within 15 to 30 minutes...or your pizza is free.

Other people's rage is a bit more problematic. That has required an overhand right solution from time to time. :evilgrin:

[cliffordu]

8. I go climb hills on my old mountain bike.

Nothing like an hour or two (or till you want to puke) of out of the saddle climbing to make the rest of the day a little less enraging.

Sometimes, when I'm really off the hook, a three hour session is in order.

For a guy my age I sure have great legs.

[redqueen]

9. I just remind myself that it's bad for my health and pointless.

It goes away pretty quickly after that.

[omega minimo]

56. bingo

[Bonobo]

10. I do karate. nt

[Warpy]

11. My own? I meditate

and there's nothing like half an hour or so of deep meditation to put everything into perspective. Oh, the outrage is still there. However, I'm able to deal with the past 8 years as a brief stench passing through the infinity of time.

Other people's rage, especially artificially engendered rage is much more fun. I find an "Are you done?" when they come up for air devastatingly effective. It has to be said in the mildest manner possible. If they're not done, watching them like you'd watch a bug cross a plate is effective.

[lunatica]

12. I take a break for as long as I need to.

After the 2004 election with Bush claiming a mandate and political capital to do exactly what he proceeded to do I took about three months off because I got so depressed. I came to terms with the reality of the situation and I imagined what life would really be like if the worst happened. Nothing came close to what life is like for the people in Iraq who live with the explosive (literally) facts of an occupying alien army. I also realized that no matter how hard it gets people still survive. Life continues even when you're reduced to basic survival. You adapt and hopefully ride it out till things improve.

Even under Saddam most Iraqis were better off than the citizens of the other Arab countries. Most women were the most liberated in the Mideast countries, able to pursue careers in any area. I suspect that is what would happen here. This country is simply too big and too spread out to try to forcibly oppress people.

So I realized most of us would continue with our lives. Life goes on. Maybe not in absolute freedom, but it goes on.

It may seem strange but it helped to get me back to fighting for what's right. If they can win then so can we.

[SidneyCarton]

13. I go home and hug my child.

She doesn't need an angry father.

[handmade34]

14. write letters, e-mail, call

walk it off, safely rant with my partner,clean, send more e-mails, try to talk sense into at least the people closest to me, confront lies, scream in the woods, yell at the radio in the car and tv, etc... but most of all never give up

[Arugula Latte]

15. I just emailed the White House, called my Senators, and called Lindsay Graham's office.

I exercise almost every day. I drink a glass of white wine or two almost every day. I pet my kitties and kiss their fuzzy little heads many times every day. I laugh with my kids. I go on DU and escape. I vent at and with with my husband.

My rage subsided since November of '08, but it has started coming back this past week ...

[Hubert Flottz]

16. I throw dull darts at a picture of Glenna Beck...

[create.peace]

54. is she wearing that fuzzy pink sweater?nt

[notesdev]

17. I mope bitch and yell a lot

to get it out of my system

then I drown whatever is left in a bucketful of love

[cherokeeprogressive]

18. I drown worms.

[lonestarnot]

19. I scream at the tv, actually broke one early on during the bushitler nightmare from which

we're still trying to awake. I have many ways though seriously. Sharing the list of a couple here: clean mosquitoe larvae out of the beer pool, mowing the grass, coming here, watching people, reading.

[JNelson6563]

20. I disengage

[TexasObserver]

21. I try not to respond to the threads where the OP is filled with rage.

BTW, I'm not suggesting you are.


I find ragers annoying. It's not something I experience. At least not since I was in my early 20s.

Rage is a childish emotion, a fit, a temper tantrum, unbecoming of adults.

Incensed? Irritated? Angered? Sure. Enraged? Nope.


I don't socialize with anyone who rages, and I don't rage. I can't imagine living like that. People who can't talk or post without losing their shit should avoid doing so.

[Downtown Hound]

41. I don't think rage is a childish emotion

Rage is a perfectly natural and sane response to being attacked or threatened. From an evolutionary perspective, it makes total sense. But since we live in an industrial society with rules, it's not always kosher or acceptable or even legal to act upon it. Therefore rage is often expressed inappropriately.

It's not the emotion that's childish, it's what we do with it that can be.

[TexasObserver]

46. It depends on the definition of RAGE. Here's a good one.

rage  
–noun
1. angry fury; violent anger.
2. a fit of violent anger.
3. fury or violence of wind, waves, fire, disease, etc.
4. violence of feeling, desire, or appetite: the rage of thirst.
5. a violent desire or passion.

[northernlights]

68. you bring up a good point

Most people are not professional writers and are not walking websters. But I do note from your dictionary post above that nothing in the definition of rage implies anything about emotional development.

The use of emotion as an indication of emotional development I imagine might require understanding the trigger for the rage. For example, expressing rage because the ice cream store is out of chocolate does suggests the emotional level of a 2 year old. On the other hand, coming home to find a rapist beating your 14 year old daughter could trigger an outburst of rage that enables you to attack and overcome the rapist, thereby saving your daughter. And could be considered an appropriate rage, no?

I try to read for intent, in the case of non-professional writers, rather than the literal word. (I'm much tougher when reading professionally written articles, btw.)

I suspect the OP meant something closer to outrage. And given what some of us have been through, occasional feelings of outrage and despair could be considered appropriate responses to the situation. For example, thanks to the current state of our country,I've been robbed of my career, my identity and half my life savings. I'm losing the other half as I write, as I may soon be forced to dump my hard-earned and saved for home for considerably less than what I paid for and put into it. And I don't have a clue as to where I'll go from there.

I admit I sometimes, especially when exhausted, succomb to feelings of rage or despair. I don't think that suggests emotional immaturity. I think that suggests that I've run out of options and ideas and don't know how I'm going to support my little family beyond another few weeks. I don't know how I'll hold out for another 2 years while I patiently wait for the "stimulus" to trickle down to unemployed over-50s.

But if it makes you feel better to label people who feel rage over their situations "immature" by all means carry on... :shrug:

[proteus_lives]

23. I smoke and walk it off.

I find it helps not to deny the rage or try to bury it. Ride it out and let it run its course.

[mdmc]

24. excellent OP

I must admit I don't know how I deal with rage. I think I internalize it.

[seabeyond]

26. i get quiet, until the heavy duty emotion is gone. then express...

or

i spew it out adn then i am done

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

27. A healthy dose of cynicism about politicians helps to establish reality.

"...when you are in politics you are in a wasp’s nest with a short shirt-tail..."

"When politics enter . . . government, nothing resulting there from in the way of crimes and infamies is then incredible. It actually enables one to accept and believe the impossible."

"In . . . politics people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue but have taken them at second-hand from other non-examiners, whose opinions about them were not worth a brass farthing."

"The government of my country snubs honest simplicity, but fondles artistic villainy, and I think I might have developed into a very capable pickpocket if I had remained in the public service a year or two."

"Right here in this heart and home and fountain-head of law, this great factory where are forged those rules that create good order and compel virtue and honesty in the other communities of the land, rascality achieves its highest perfection."

"History has tried to teach us that we can't have good government under politicians.  Now, to go and stick one at the very head of government couldn’t be wise."

Mark Twain

[Downtown Hound]

39. Those are some great quotes! n/t

[pecwae]

71. Nothing much has changed since Twain's day. nt

[Name removed]

28. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[guitar man]

32. you take a wrong turn somewhere?

:shrug:

[LanternWaste]

29. I've never believed that any can make me feel something

I've never believed that any can make me emotionally feel something ("he made me mad", "she made me sad"). I'm of the opinion that all other things being equal, the vast majority of emotions we feel are no more than the emotions we allow ourselves to feel.

To deal with rage, I simply do not allow myself to feel enraged by anything. Which has worked out rather well it seems, as the last time I've allowed myself to really get upset with anyone or anything has been over ten years.

I've quelled the big ones-- rage, jealousy, negative passions, etc. It's the smaller one's I'm still working on (frustration, pettiness, etc), and little by little those too can be overcome simply exercising appropriate emotional discipline when we choose to.

[titoresque]

57. so you're a ticking time bomb

is what I'm hearing you say? :nuke:

[TexasObserver]

60. That's an unwarranted conclusion regarding what that poster said.

Avoiding rage is a matter of deciding that one will not engage in such outbursts. People who never learn to deal with frustrations and resentments without expressing rage are the ticking time bombs.

One can be assertive without being out of control. One can express dismay, anger, and resentment forcefully without yelling, flailing their arms, making personal threats, throwing things, or resorting to violence.

Rage is a loss of control brought on by not getting a result one wanted to have.

[LanternWaste]

72. I don't think so.

I don't think so. I imagine that emotions, like our physical selves can be conditioned through discipline and exercise regimens resulting in a healthy control as opposed to either suppression or denial of the same.

[titoresque]

75. I really should have put a

smiley or something. I have a very dry sense of humor. :pals:

[LiberalEsto]

31. I weed the garden

"Take that, Dubya, ya stinkin' piece of crabgrass!"

[DU GrovelBot]

33. ## PLEASE DONATE TO DEMOCRATIC UNDERGROUND! ##

This week is our third quarter 2009 fund drive. Democratic Underground is
a completely independent website. We depend on donations from our members
to cover our costs. Please take a moment to donate! Thank you!

[Downtown Hound]

34. Don't get GrovelBot mad...

You wouldn't like him when he's mad!

[backwoodsbob]

35. I never feel rage about politics

resolve yes...rage...never

[Butch350]

36. I go to the dvd collection...

and watch either STNG, DS9, or Voyager or any trek movie. Works like a sedative for me.

[WillieW]

38. Deep brathing helps.

[tj2001]

40. Good sex

is always good

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

43. Is there another kind?

[and-justice-for-all]

42. I listen to metal and goto concerts...nt

[titoresque]

44. Holosync

http://www.centerpointe.com/

[deep1]

48. Yes I am pretty angry.........

I am angry at the galls of the Republicans and their cretin supporters. I try to keep calm and reading this message board and its greatest threads helps.

[leftofthedial]

50. I just occasionally post the truth about what Obama is doing on GD-P.

It's a great stress relief.

[create.peace]

51. i make stuff,

i spin yarn, and knit it into pouches. i have about 80 done now. i spin yarn and don't make it into anything yet. i make jewelry and play with my beads. i watch the big chill, the horse's mouth, little miss sunshine, the lives of others, lord of the rings extended, kill bill 1 and 2, volver, waiting for guffman, and bbc mysteries.

not that i wouldn't do a lot of that anyway, but these are all comfort food to me.

what works the best however, how we got through the bush years, was protesting and marching and demonstrating. we went to crawford tx 3 times including the original ditches, wa dc, and a bunch of other places to protest halliburton and bush. acting out against the idiocy really was the best!!!

[Control-Z]

52. I think I have an ulcer

from it all. Honestly. I hold in all in and act calm and proper. But it makes me so angry and frustrated that now it physically hurts - pretty much every day. I hope something gives soon. Over the counter meds aren't helping much any longer.

[GreenPartyVoter]

53. I eat too much. Don't ask how much I have gained in the last several years.

[drmeow]

55. When I felt rage at Bush and Cheney

(I don't really feel rage at them anymore because they are out of power) I would sometimes imagine something happening to them that would make them suffer emotionally as much as they made so many other people suffer. That would make me think about what would make a sociopath suffer the most emotionally. Trying to think about how the mind of a sociopath thinks and what the target person values and trying to come up with a way of denying that person what they value or taking it away from them would usually distract me from my rage. My favorite scenarios involved stripping them of power (one of the most effective ways of controlling a psychopath's behavior is to strip them of power or money because those are the things they value above all else) ... like imagining them silencing/muted in some way (locked in a sound-proof box maybe?) and having them be forced to witness the signing of bills that they would hate (and having the signer rave about how much they support the bills - "look they're so excited they're jumping for joy" when really they're jumping in rage) - things like signing a bill mandating government footing the bill for all abortions regardless of need, one that raises the estate tax to unbelievable levels, a sweeping new New Deal, a truly progressive tax bill with the highest tax bracket for people with as much money as they have being 90%, things like that. They didn't even have to be laws I wanted passed - they just had to be laws which would make them see red (which would especially be laws that took away their illegally gained money).

Now I imagine sometimes that Obama's election victory is quite possibly the closest thing of that type that I'll ever see. If Obama manages to pass serious health care reform and ESPECIALLY if it is funded by a surtax on the rich ... just thinking about how frustrated and angry that would make them makes me giddy with glee!

The other thing I would imagine is them being tried in a Kafkaesque manner - found guilty, jailed for life, and all their assets seized.

Or anything which I thought would make them as frustrated, angry, and impotent as I felt - I don't know, like a Groundhog Day scenario where they have to relive Obama's election night victory over and over and over and over again.

Then I'd think about how much they make me want to believe in Heaven and Hell because I know that they would burn in Hell for eternity.

Then I would disengage for a while.

[Binka]

64. I Run. 40-70 Miles A Week

And I cry. Hug Peyton, cry, and run again.

[Quantess]

65. Mostly with sarcasm.

Up until the unjust coronation of G. W. Bush, I was disinterested in politics. Remember the Velvet Underground lyric, "there are problems in these times, but, woohooo none of them are mine!"

That had always worked for me, all my life, until late November 2002, when it really seemed likely that USA was going to invade Iraq, based on bad intel. By December 2002, I was jumping up and down, yelling at the TV.

How do I deal with the rage? Sometimes I write slogans on t-shirts with fabric paint. I keep a garden. But in general, I honestly feel hopeless about regaining any sense of democracy. Sorry to disappoint.

[old mark]

67. Since I carry a gun, I just shoot people at random(joke) . Actually, I email

various media contacts and political officials - even the White Housee contact email - to give them serious hell about how I feel about their stupidity/ineptitude/crime. Then I come to DU and post very humorous sarcastic material that everyone loves.


mark

[Kitty Herder]

69. Poorly. I rant and rave...

and holler and curse when I'm home alone. My cats just roll their eyes at me.

[Rebubula]

76. Weigh it out...

....against all that I see as good.

Really...the world sucks and people are mean. Life is suffering (Buddhism), but suffering can be overcome.

You do NOT have to internalize everything bad that occurs in the world. It is NOT your fault. Moreover, the US is NOT the epicenter of the world and NOT the epicenter of all evil.

You are only here once...try to enjoy it.

[Arkana]

78. I turn into the Hulk and go on a rampage through downtown NYC.

Why do you ask?

[Downtown Hound]

79. No fair!

Me want become Hulk too. :cry:

When I is Hulk, rage feel good. World make strange kind of sense.