The frustration of having a right-wing family

[Merryweather]

:banghead:

Kitchen table debates at my house are not fun. My folks hate paying taxes, believe that the majority of those on welfare are lazy bums, that gays shouldn't be allowed to marry and homosexuality should not be 'promoted' as an 'acceptable lifestyle' (they believe this bullshit about a gay agenda trying to force pro-gay views on them) want the death penalty reintroduced in Britain as they think it would somehow magically end violent crime, and are convinced that Maggie Thatcher is the greatest Prime Minister we've ever had. As far as they're concerned America-wise, Bush did a good job and got a bad rap, Obama is going to kill old people with his death panels, and the US healthcare system is way better than our NHS. And this is just some of their views. If they were Americans, I'm pretty sure they'd be out teabagging.

I argue with them a lot, especially about gay issues because I can't bear the fact my parents are bigoted - I try to explain that people deprived of civil rights are not the ones forcing things on others - and I get to the point where I almost have my mother convinced, but by the next time I pay a visit she's firmly back to square one. My dad won't budge an inch (and really, the fact they both think Bush was a decent president suggests they're beyond all hope). Both wonder how I turned out to be such a 'bleeding heart lib'. It's hard because I love them very much, but they're just so wrong about so much.

I'd like to hear from those on either side of the pond who come from a very conservative family or have right wing family members. It's pretty bad for a Brit, but I imagine it must be a lot worse for American liberals.

[loyalkydem]

1. I will

put you in my prayers. I can just about imagine that your blood pressure is very high when dealing with them.

[Warpy]

2. I had a right wing dad

He didn't have much use for the religious lunatics now controlling the party, but he loved their economic lunacy.

I was about 20 when we mutually decided politics was not going to be discussed if we wanted to maintain contact. The truce was an unspoken if armed one.

It was the best we could do.

I don't think educating our parents is our job and I don't think trying to do it is going to work the vast majority of the time. The dynamic of parent and child is completely against it.

I was absolutely floored in 2004 when my dad said he was going to vote for Kerry. Because of the long standing truce, I didn't grill him about his reasons, but he mentioned disgust over the Swift Boat lie campaign as part of it.

Your own parents might come around, too, but they might not. While it causes you pain to see people you love mired in delusion, it's not your job to shatter that alternate reality they're comfortable with.

Good luck.

[Doctor_J]

3. Estrangement can be a wonderful thing

Trust me, you won't miss them