This World My Son is Coming Into... (Long post)

[NurseLefty]

It's been a while since I've posted on DU. But I visit when I can to see what fellow Dems/Lefties are discussing.

On this Easter, I have not-so-good thoughts about this world, at a time when I should be joyful and full of hope. And, I wonder if any of you have advice or something to add.

I am 28 weeks pregnant with my son. He will be my first child. For years I was ambivalent about having children, as in the past I lacked the right partner, lacked money, or was not ready for parenthood.

At 40, I am ready as ever to do this. I have the right partner; while still getting off the ground, my career is providing stable if modest income. And at 40 I am older, wiser, more patient, and feeling more 'maternal'.

But, here is what I struggle with: My son is coming into a tough world with a seemingly bleak future. I see so much in my local realm and in the world via the news that shows that a hopeful, happy way of life is becoming increasingly difficult to achieve.

America's middle class is disappearing, corporations dominate much of how we live our lives, basic needs in life are harder to come by, work demands more of our time and takes away from family time, and there is much stress about all of this. Oh, and lest I forget, all that has been reported about global warming - scientists using descriptives such as "dire" and "grim" as to what our future holds amid climate change.

Many would argue it is all the more reason not to bring a child into this world. I have friends who have chosen not to have children for reasons that include much I what I've listed above. But, unlike many of my friends, I do not have siblings, nieces, and nephews like they have. Instead, besides my partner, my immediate family consists of my 82 year-old father and me. I do have that inner drive to continue the species, to have a family of my own. Assuming my partner and I were to have 2 children total (a vague possibility at this point) per what I've read about demography, we are not adding a net gain to the world population. (Statistically, nations that average 2 children per family have a slight decrease in population, from what I've read, anyway. Something due to attrition, but I digress...)

Anyway, add to my worries all of my doubts about religion and related traditions. As one who went to Sunday School throughout my childhood, I think about today - Easter - with great doubt. I question so much about just how significant and meaningful the traditions of Christianity are. I cannot help but think that Christianity is obsolete in these times in which we are living. The words attributed to Jesus are ones about enlightenment, love, and compassion - all great things of benefit to humankind. But, I cannot logically reconcile the literal in the Bible with the real world.

The problems and crises chronicled in the Bible do not fit the proportion and scale of problems of the world of today. It is hard to accept that there is a personal and loving God in a modern world full of genocide, oppression, greed, corruption, and complete disregard for humans, animals, and our environment. All the miracles/devine interventions that took place in biblical times - to save people from Egyptian and Roman oppression - where are they now? We could use some of those interventions, don't you think?!

What I DO believe - the cosmos and this planet we live in is a miracle of sorts. I see things that make me think that this is not some accident. I do think there is a Creator - but he/she/it is beyond what our feeble minds can comprehend (to paraphrase Einstein). I DO believe in the power of love - I have seen how great we can be to one another, through words and deeds. And, we as humans have the cognition and imagination to conceive what we CAN be as a species on this planet. It's just there's a chasm between what we imagine and what we can actually do.

Sorry for the long rant about so many big issues. I appreciate what anyone here in DU Land can to add to this.

[mrreowwr_kittty]

1. Congratulations.

As for words of encouragement, I guess there's hope in recent surveys that show fewer than 20% of 18 to 30 year olds identify as Republicans. That bodes well for our future leaders. I spent some time with some local college political activists recently, and was amazed at how many of them are seeking careers in the environmental sector.

When I read your post I was reminded of my b.f. He's from a long tradition of late-life parenthood. His dad was 55 when he was born and his mom was 40. His paternal grandfather was in his mid 30s when his dad was born. He is 48 and his grandfather was born in 1869! Can you imagine? I hope your dad is around for a long time so your son will get to know him, there's a lot of history there. Best wishes to you. :hi: :hug:

[SharonAnn]

2. But still, perhaps you and your son can indeed "change the world".

[stellanoir]

3. Welp

I was slightly earlier in my first pregnancy during Desert Storm and I shared many of your concerns.

If you look at things on a superficial level of appearances exclusively, then it's nutz to bring a kid into these circumstances.

Still having a kid is more of an emotional and biological decision and often doesn't have a whole lot to do with rational thought.

From many spiritual perspectives, our kids are smarter and more enlightened than we are and are better equipped to deal with the circumstances we've created for them than we.

Here is something hopeful . . .

http://www.kryon.com/k_chanelUN07.html

I don't ascribe to all channelings but this one I've followed for a very long time.

Hope it helps and have a delightful baby and a safe delivery.

He'll have angels for sure.

[sasha031]

7. I want to thank you for that stellanoir

way back I use to read allot of Seth/ Jane Roberts

Nurselefty, your child is going to be one of the enlightened ones.

and it's so true what Kryon said about the darkness, we know who they are, and how comforting it is to know we are not alone.

[uppityperson]

4. Congratulations and I understand a lot of what you are saying.

I was worried when I had my child, about a lot of the same things. Now it is a couple decades later, and I still worry. I want to pick out a couple things you wrote about.

Christianity. I was raised liberal christian and had a hard time reconciling being able to celebrate things like Easter since it seemed fundamentalists had co-opted christianity for their own warped reasons. I see 2 basic types of "christianity", most people are a mix. 1) worship Jesus 2) try to emulate Jesus. I have been called very christian and not at all christian since I disagree with many of the fundie interpretations, going more along trying to emulate a Wise Man.

Easter. Had its basis wayyyyyy back as a spring celebration, new life, etc. Hence bunnies, chicks, flowers, eggs. Even the name, "Easter" etiology is Ashtorith, Astarte, not sure if spelling is accurate by female goddesses from way back. Easter Sunday is the first Sunday after the first full moon after the spring equinox. The last supper was a Seder. After thinking all this through, the Christianity Highest Holiday of the Resurrection, the Rebirth of Christ, makes sense on this spring/rebirth time. So, easter eggs and candy and egg hunts are fine.

God/Goddesses do not act at the whim of humanity. Some believe they do, that Humans are the Only Thing created in god's image, but I think we are just another species, yes with a lot of potential, but Everything is part of it all, god is in all, all is in god. Defining "god" gets in the way a lot of the time.

The rich are getting richer, the poor poorer. Things are getting harder and will continue to get harder and people will have to change or suffer or both.

Congratulations on your son. Hold him, love him, enjoy him. Go camping, take walks, look at worms. Be prepared to put aside other things because all too soon he will become a teenager, with the joys and sorrows that go with that. Hug and cuddle while you can, each day may seem forever but looking back it just zooms. Dropping my child off at college I cried because I had never taken child on that camping trip to Montana/Wyoming to see the Devils Tower, Custards last stand (mispelling as we call it in our family) and Yellowstone. Yes, we did a lot, but, sniff, never got to Devils Tower waaaah.

Congratulations and if you weren't worried, there would be something to worry about. Enjoy what you can, do what you can, onward.

[BleedingHeartPatriot]

5. Birth is a joyous event. And your child is blessed to have two caring, loving people

bringing him into the world.

You will be giving him the gifts of compassion, understanding and reasoning. He will be a wonderful person, with you as mother.

Congratulations! :hug: MKJ

P.S. And your beautiful tribute to the power of love and hope, inspired by the impending arrival of your child will be something he'll read and appreciate, years from now. Your passion for the written word will be passed on.

(I think you're really going to love reading to him before he goes to sleep. The discussion about the choice of books and the discussions of the stories with your precious three or four year old are cherished moments, indeed)

edited to add: and, he'll want to this ritual to continue well into elementary school. How great is that! :-)

[Morgana LaFey]

6. Your child will be among those who bring us to the other side of this

Most likely.

I'm certainly not big on the Bible, but if these aren't the End Times, then I don't know what is. HOWEVER, the End Times isn't about the end of the world, but rather, as some put it, the End of Time (??) and the transition to an entirely new world. 1000 years of peace lay on the other side of the transition (birth) this planet is undergoing.

As hard as it is, on the other side of wat I call the economic shake-out I see at least the potential for a unified world where exploitation of people and resources has ended and we all have what we need.

On the other side of global warming and all the other pollution I see the potential for the healing of the planet and a more sustainable approach to humans living here.

On the other side of all the turmoil and grief we believe we see coming hard at us, I believe in at least the potential for a sane existence of harmony and community and, as I said, sustainability, the likes of which would do any utopian novel proud.

I think some people would call me a dreamer, but it's really quite practical to "hold the space" for miracles and something better than the worst we can imagine happening from this point of view. Miracles DO happen, and we have to make room for them.

If you are feeling led to have a child now, there's a purpose for his being in this world -- and for you, of course. He'll come in having the talents and potential required for what's coming, or the ability to develop them. I'm very sure of that.

You'll do the best for him, I'm absolutely positive, if you reframe your thinking each time the subject comes up in your mind, to one of hope and optimism for a miraculous future NONE of us could anticipate from the vantage point of these dark days. Miracles DO happen, and your son is no exception.

Namaste

[dysfunctional press]

8. my wife and i made a conscious decision almost 10 years ago NOT to have kids...

we decided that it wouldn't be right to bring another mouth into this troubled planet, just to satisfy some 'parental instinct' on our part. we felt it would be an incredibly selfish act- and every day, i see our decision proved more and more correct. i'm 46, my wife is 48.

[BleedingHeartPatriot]

9. I hope you don't judge those of us who have had a child too harshly.

MKJ

[Decruiter]

13. Peace, well said. I have a 19 year old daughter. I wish I had stayed

with what you have come to believe in. My daughter is beautiful, wants to be a doctor, I wish I had never brought her into this world we now inhabit.

[Warren DeMontague]

17. Geez. This thread is just a ball of sunshine.

I wonder how your daughter feels about the whole thing?

[annabanana]

10. This little boy will bring more light and joy into your life than you can even imagine!

How can the world not be a better place for that light and joy? Everyone carries with them infinite possibilities. My first was born when I was 36, my second when I was 39. He will keep you young and you will see, even in this bleak seeming world, the places and ways that his life will be a blessing to the world.

[NurseLefty]

11. Thank you

This is a bit of a delayed reply and I'm sure this is quite buried under many new threads, but I want to say thanks to all of you for you advice and thoughts. It helped to read about your perspectives on this, especially those of you who've had the same worries when having your children.
I do feel hopeful, that my son will grow up feeling loved by his parents, and I will do everything I can to help him learn about the world around him - to enjoy what good things are in it and to help him find ways to sort out what isn't so great.
Again, thanks.

[Warren DeMontague]

12. First off, Congratulations. Secondly, it's not like Caveman or ancient times were any treat

to be born into. At least your kid (probably) won't have to worry about Sabre-toothed Tigers!

Seriously, for the "It's not fair to bring a kid into the world... now" crowd- when have things NOT been fucked up? Folks want to give up hope now.. why? People had kids during WWII. In Concentration Camps. You know, "may you live in interesting times" is both a curse AND a blessing. And no matter how you slice it, these are going to shape up to be VERY interesting times.

I'm not playing Pollyanna OR Cassandra- but I think that in spite of the significant challenges we face, humanity has an incredibly bright, hopeful future in front of us--- if we can move beyond old modes of thinking, outdated, ancient superstitions and fear-based ways of dealing with each other. I believe these coming days hold many great risks, but also heretofore unimagined rewards for this planet and its inhabitants.

[Skittles]

14. my sweet - you are still young - it is YOUR future too

you're old enough to remember better times but still very much young enough to know the worst that's coming :(

[Warren DeMontague]

16. Oh, good grief.

Must be getting early
Clocks are running late
Paint by number morning sky
Looks so phony

Dawn is breaking everywhere
Light a candle, curse the glare
Draw the curtains
I don't care 'cause
It's all right

I will get by / I will get by
I will get by / I will survive

I see you've got your list out
Say your piece and get out
Yes I get the gist of it
but it's all right

Sorry that you feel that way
The only thing there is to say
Every silver lining's got a
Touch of Grey

I will get by / I will get by
I will get by / I will survive

It's a lesson to me
The Ables and the Bakers and the C's
The ABC's we all must face
And try to keep a little grace

It's a lesson to me
The deltas and the east and the freeze
The ABC's we all think of
Try to give a little love.

I know the rent is in arrears
The dog has not been fed in years
It's even worse than it appears
but it's all right.

Cows giving kerosene
Kid can't read at seventeen
The words he knows are all obscene
but it's all right

I will get by / I will get by
I will get by / I will survive

The shoe is on the hand it fits
There's really nothing much to it
Whistle through your teeth and spit
cause it's all right.

Oh well a Touch Of Grey
Kind of suits you anyway.
That was all I had to say
It's all right.

I will get by / I will get by
I will get by / I will survive
We will get by / We will get by
We will get by / We will survive



http://www.hunterarchive.com/files/lyrics/teleprompter.html#anchor372089

[seabeyond]

15. my children are 12 and 9. i truly do not look at their future with

such dire. i understand what you are saying. sometimes my sons wish they had what i grew up with and always i am able to find a lot of things that they have today that wasnt there in my generation.

i was older having children too. financially stable, lived my life in fun and then settled.

watching my boys over the years, i see such opportunity. i see so much kindness and love in them. i see so much in the children they hang with. i see opportunity.

there are times i tell them of their responsibility. that the adults today are screwing up the nation, but it is theirs to fix. fair or not fair, i see that they are being given so much to allow them to be well equipped to deal as things progress over the time. in the mean time, i have been given so much pleasure, love, joy and had so many lessons from my children that go beyond any other experience i have had in my life.

we look around us, in the world we have created to live in and it is nothing short of awesome

it is yours to create.

[BigGuyNH]

18. I too questioned the world before my Daughter was born

Even though I am more of a Centrist (Boy I hate that word!)I too questioned whether to bring a frail, open eyed, innocent child into this World. My Father, who is a great man at heart said something to me that really stuck with me. He said; "Just remember that your children will do as you do, no matter how much you try to conceal your faults, they will see them always. So try to live as best, and honest life there is" Remember, times seem worse than ever before, because there is too much info available. ALL news agencies are fighting for you attention, so whether conservative, or liberal, that want your dollar.IT IS THAT SIMPLE!

The way I approach brining up my daughter is this...

I want her to know both sides of a discussion, not only mine, let THEM make the choice on what is correct in the world or not. Ask them why they feel that way, don't get angry because their views are different than yours. I DO NOT want someone to take advantage of my daughter lack of knowledge!!

In regards to religion, Think about all those great societies that you mentioned, What was one of the biggest things that happened to them? LOSS OF ALL RESPECT FOR THEMSELVES!!

The Bible is written as a guide to life, a road map. It is there to help, there are always different paths to take, there are some more traveled than others. Sometimes a well worn path is okay. Sometimes less travel is okay.

Just Be there for your Son. He will be the happist person to see you!!

One thing I used to do was lie on the floor, with my head on the floor and look up, See how big the world REALLY is? Try it.

Your Son will LOVE you unconditionally, at least until he is a teenager!!

I have rambled too long, but one last note:

"God made Babies, and children so cute and fun, so that we adults will remember to LOVE life!"
My own Quote