Most vile looking fast food menu items of all time

[n2doc]

5. McGriddle sandwich: The gag reflex kicks in just thinking about this product, which basically takes the inside of an Egg McMuffin, replaces the English muffin with a pancake and injects it with small pools of syrup. Because if there's one thing McDonald's needs to do to help turn the tide on America's obesity problem, it's inject more of their products with pure sugar. The McGriddle does get a few bonus points for stamping the McDonald's logo on the griddle cake. Chez Panisse really needs to start doing that with their food.



4. Volcano Taco: And the award for the fast food product that contains the most colors that don't appear in nature goes to ... the Volcano Taco! The nutritional information for these tacos should contain calories, grams of fat and the half life. The shell is frightening, but the part that makes me wake up screaming in the middle of the night is the "lava sauce." It looks like someone combined melted Velveeta with Pop Rocks. (Isn't that how Mikey from the Life cereal commercials died?)


more at link

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/parenting/detail?entry_id=41786

[TahitiNut]

1. Yum! Close to lunchtime!

:dunce:

[madokie]

2. No shit

and I'm hungry so that looks food to me.

[SpiralHawk]

3. Hurl City

These so-called 'food' items must have been designed by a committee of anti-American Republicon Homelanders.

[HillWilliam]

4. Half-life? Prolly about 15 minutes

before explosive dire-rear (that's a suthren expression, but you get what I mean :rofl:). The other half will remain on the hips for about 40 years as immovable cellulite. Double-size cottage-cheese badonkadonk with a side of thunder-thighs anyone?

[bertman]

41. "dire-rear"

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

This suthren boy agrees with you 100%, HillWilliam. Frickin' hilarious.

[msongs]

5. toxi waste. btw those ad pix are all f raud. food looks nothing like them nt

[John Q. Citizen]

6. Having just returned from my first visit to Quebec (montreal) I was sure it was going to be the

poutine sold on the McDonalds menu in Quebec.

[NeedleCast]

7. Volcano Tacos are good

The Volcano Box at Taco Bell is awesome. They need to find a way to mix some green and purple colors in there though.

[razorman]

25. Their next-gen menu items will glow in the dark.

[tridim]

8. Say what you will about the McGriddle..

They're still fucking delicious!

I eat about two a year, so I'm not too worried about it.

[NeedleCast]

9. Not a fan of theMcGriddle but I've eaten all of the the top 5

things in that article and I enjoyed 4 out of 5. In moderation.

[izquierdista]

12. Not perfect tho

I like mine deep-fried and covered with lava sauce. Got to find a MickeyD's right next to a Toxic Belch to make that happen.

[Robb]

16. I'm in the same boat.

I never wanted to try one, one came available. Had it. Liked it.

Feel shame.

FWIW, Panisse is HUGELY over-rated.

[Berry Cool]

53. McGriddles taste good.

I know it is politically incorrect to say that, but it is true.

[rollingrock]

63. Anything tastes good if you're hungry enough

In our fast food microwave culture, most of us probably aren't used to eating really good food anyways. Our standards are non-existent.

[Terry in Austin]

10. Mikey

Apparently, rumors of his death were greatly exaggerated.

But yes, the Volcano Taco is pretty astonishing in its claim to be, um, actual food.

[blue_onyx]

11. I've had one of the Jack in the Box tacos

and I have to agree...it was awful! The other items look gross too, particularly the The KFC Famous Bowl. I don't like my food to touch so that bowl is probably the worst possible thing I could think of.

[Neecy]

14. that KFC bowl looks truly nasty

It's like the contents of someone's stomach after they've eaten a chicken dinner. Nauseating.

I'll defend the Jack in the Box tacos, though. I've always loved 'em.

[tridim]

19. I've eaten one of those bowls when they were on sale.

It was VERY tasty, but it did look disgusting.

I usually refuse to go to KFC because it's almost always a 20 minute wait, aka NOT fast food.

[HillWilliam]

46. Not even on a $100 bet.

I've had to slop hogs before and what's in that bowl looks just the same to me. :P

[blue_onyx]

30. The taco was a bad...

but it probably doesn't deserve to be number one. I haven't tried it but that KFC Bowl should be number one.

[Horse with no Name]

20. Uh oh you talking about the JIB taco??

That is one of my MOST favorite foods.
It doesn't even taste like a taco, in fact, I'm not even sure what kind of meat is in it (if indeed it is even meat!).
But damn I love those things--I think the concept of dipping an entire taco and its contents in hot grease is amazing!

[blue_onyx]

32. Well, I glad you enjoy them

but I won't be having another one. I'll stick with Taco Bell for fast food tacos.

[SoCalDem]

56. they are not bad if you remind them to hold the fake cheese

:)

[Freddie Stubbs]

21. Burger King's tacos were pretty nasty too

[blue_onyx]

33. BK had tacos?!?

Everything at BK is nasty so I'm sure the tacos were particularly awful.

[tridim]

38. Have you ever tried their "onion" rings?

Another case of gross AND delicious.

[blue_onyx]

39. No

I don't like onion rings.

[PSzymeczek]

50. My first husband worked the swing shift at JITB

in the early 70's. He would come home and get into bed smelling of those tacos. To this day I refuse to eat anything from JITB. :puke:

[Romulox]

13. Domino's bread bowl pasta looks grosss!

[tridim]

15. Looks like a creative way to sell people 10 cents worth of dough

and a tiny bit of meat for $5.99.

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

17. Or this:

[thereismore]

24. Now that is actual food. Not revolting at all! nt

[Occam Bandage]

18. As an antidote: Fancy Fast Food.

http://www.fancyfastfood.com/

[MilesColtrane]

45. I learned something I didn't know from that web site.

White Castle sells something called a "Sack Meal".

No one at the marketing meeting stood up and said, "This is a bad idea."?

[trotsky]

47. "Come to White Castle and grab your sack!"

C'mon, the commercials write themselves!

[KamaAina]

49. "Harold and Kumar go to White Castle and..."

well, you know the rest. :evilgrin:

[Tan Gent]

57. "Come to Rocky's Mountain Oyster Shack...

and have a ball."


;-)

[PSzymeczek]

51. I look for that

to turn up as a challenge on the next season of "Top Chef".

[tridim]

22. Taco Bell has a whole separate menu with "healthy" options

It's called the fresco menu and comes with a real tomato salsa instead of cheese. Yummy!

I would never buy their volcano crap just based on the commercials. Why would anyone buy food that makes you sweat and turn red faced?

[OhioChick]

23. Why is it that fast food never looks like "that?" n/t

[undeterred]

26. I don't like things that look like human skin.

[Arugula Latte]

27. Why do people do this to themselves?

x(

[Fuzz]

28. Heh, KFC bowls. "Failure pile in a sadness bowl" Patten Oswald

Honorable mention was the filet o fish. I like that! ;)

[jesus_of_suburbia]

29. Bacon Cheeseburger pizza sounds good in theory, never had it though.

The volcano taco would be ok if I liked hot food, which I don't.

I've had the McGriddle, which I thought was awful (the sweet doesn't go with the grease in my opinion).

The KFC bowl was ok, but I prefer everything seperated on a plate... for that many calories, it's better to eat it slowly rather than all at once.

[lumberjack_jeff]

31. Someone once described eating the KFC famous bowl as "like vomiting in reverse". n/t

[MadBadger]

34. WHy are they vile looking? They look good.

[juno jones]

35. Reuben Sandwich on two latkes

served with a ramekin of schmaltz in lieu of sour cream. And an order of kishka on the side.

Real order I once cooked for a customer some 25 years ago. :P



on edit: I don't eat fast sood and all of that stuff looks gross. Although I'd probably pull a Bourdain and eat the bug after getting drunk in Thailand....

[Sal Minella]

44. "Schmaltz" = chicken fat, right??? What's "kishka?"

[juno jones]

58. A beef sausage which is essentially

seasoned fat.

I loved much of the food there and this shiksa considers matzoh ball soup to be the pinnacle of comfort foods, but there were some things I never got used to cooking for people. Of course, now I work in a Sports Bar, and some of the crap we serve there makes me cringe too. :shrug:

[Sal Minella]

60. I can believe it.

Sounds like I can live without kishka. In fact, my dietary preferences have narrowed down to mostly home-made soups with lots of veggies.

When I worked in a restaurant, I made the mistake of reading the "contents" label on the great frozen rolls of "taco meat" we cooked for Taco Tuesdays. Meat of any sort had very little to do with the manufacture of "taco meat."

[juno jones]

68. LOL

You can tell a lot about a restaurant by what they choose purchase pre-made. Even the bar food places I've worked made their own taco meat and salsa. That's why I warn people about chain restaurants. From what I've been told by other cooks, very little is prepared by hand in those kitchens. Much of it is pre-prepared 'fast food' despite the sit-down service and fancy presentation. In Fast Food Nation, there are references to the fact that almost all of the menu at taco bell consists of 'just add water' items.

I spent a long apprenticeship in fine dining/ baking. For me, I find the ideal restaurant is a place where a majority of the cooking is done en premise and you can taste the happiness of the cooks in the vibrancy and consistency of the food. :hi:

[Sal Minella]

76. Am not much of a foodie, but one of the things I like best about a "nice"

restaurant is that the wait staff seems to be enjoying their work, and I don't feel I'm a black spot in his/her day.

In a fast food place, I can't bear to look into the faces of the people working there -- so I just never go into those places anymore.

("fast food" being an oxymoron, of course, like "taco meat.")

In the restaurant where I worked, the soups also came in large clear plastic bags, to be thawed and heated. The worst thing about the place was the owner/boss -- we had one female short-order cook (she was invariably assigned to work alone, she was so good and so fast) and two guys (who were always assigned to work together, never one guy alone). And I never tried to find out, but I'd bet my last dime she got paid less per hour than either of the guys. Ticked me off then. Still ticks me off twenty years later......

[juno jones]

78. You are sadly probably right about her pay

I've hit the 'glass ceiling' a few times in my profession. It's hard to make real money even with a good education in food unless you are running the main saute station at nite or are one of the chefs. These positions are hard for women to get, partially because of old predjudices (cooking is still a boy's club in some places) and partly because the working hours and time spent at the restaurant by people holding these positions tend to not jibe well with the kind of schedules working mothers tend to have to keep. I have worked for 4 female head chefs in my time. One was young and unmarried, one was older and childless by choice (she told me she had decided to forgo children for her career) and the other two had older children that were almost 'out of the nest' by the time they got their executive position. Most of them told me that they preferred working with other women because we were more cooperative than men and did a better job at cleaning up after ourselves.

I quit one cooking job when it became apparent that the owner of the place just wanted me in to clean up after her 'boys'. One of the reasons I was labeled a 'discontent' at my last job is that I complained when I heard that a male co-worker (who had less training than I and had been there for considerably less time) was getting a raise of a dollar that I felt I deserved as well. Discrimination is alive and well, but it's damn hard to prove.

There is also the matter of our professional payrates being distorted by 'certification'. There was a time when one learned the cooking trade from the bottom up, working with chefs in a kitchen. I was probably one of the last to come up in the apprenticeship system. A lot of us oldsters (many of us women) don't have 'certificates' although we have spent years learning and practicing every day what tech school grads spend units of 6 weeks skimming over. This affects our pay as well and verges on ageism.

Even after all that I love cooking. I just work hard, stay out of the corporate sphere, and take my pleasures where I can. I look at people who do office work and shake my head, because I could never dress up and sit still all day, every day. :)

[dugaresa]

61. Kishka as I remember it is blood sausage

poor man's food.

blood mixed with oats/barley filler and perhaps some meat stuffed into a casing and when cooked it turns black.

[Sal Minella]

65. Still sounds better than some of the stuff I've seen in fast food places.

Sounds one step below umble pie, made from the lungs/heart etc innards for the servants or serfs of the great household.

[juno jones]

67. The ones I saw looked to be

Pretty much fat with perhaps paprika and a few other things, blood I don't doubt. I was told by my (jewish) sous chef that they were mainly fat, so I never ate any, although I ate (and made) some of the odder things like chopped liver, tsimmes, and herring/apple salad on a regular basis.

[GoCubsGo]

75. That's it!

It's the Polish version. Also the subject of a polka (Who Stole the Kishka?) Usually, they liver and/or other organ meats. I have had both versions, I like both. Odd, considering my diet leans toward vegetarian...

[GoCubsGo]

73. That's the Jewish version...

Then there's the Eastern European version (also spelled "kizka", among other ways), which is organ meats (usually pork) and barley or buckwheat, mixed with spices and pork blood. It's very similar to black pudding. I was raised on the stuff, and I love it, despite knowing what goes into it. I wish I could find it here, but alas, there are no enclaves of Poles or other Eastern Europeans here in the South.

[CrownPrinceBandar]

36. Don't forget the Ribwich

Comes from a small animal that has: "more legs (than a cow)"

[spiritual_gunfighter]

37. All fast food is vile n/t

[Occulus]

40. Then there's the Burger King Enormous Omlette

AKA food porn.



740 calories.

[n2doc]

42. BK is vile no matter what

Especially their ads....

In Laguardia Airport they post the calories for each selection...at the BK there the triple whopper meal is 2400+ calories (with drink and fries). More than a day's recc'ed calories in one gigantic gutbomb.

[Scurrilous]

43. "I have no idea what the demographic is for the Jack in the Box taco."

If personal experience is any indicator, I'd say wasted college students who think it's hilarious to order 'food' by speaking to a plastic clown.

[Neecy]

48. have you seen their latest ad?

Some pothead kid with the munchies goes through the drive-though and orders '99 tacos for 2 cents'. This nonsense goes on for a while, including the kid speaking to the Jack on his dashboard. Kid's high as a kite, giggling and dazed, as he tries to order his food from his car.

I'm like, wtf? Now it's considered cute to drive impaired? I have nothing against pot but driving while under the influence of anything should be out of bounds for an ad campaign.

[Berry Cool]

54. You would think so, but I am sure they consider it an audience ripe for the plucking.

I mean, they are driving around late at night and they have the munchies...not too picky about what they eat, probably...they are an obvious market.

[MisterP]

52. don't forget Carls Jr.'s "Atkins breakfast bowl": a small mixing bowl of bacon, egg, and what may've

been pure butter, cheese, or congealed adipose tissue
fail in terms of both basic nutrition and Atkins
cyst, cirrhotic liver, or tumor? you decide!
just a 20-oz pile of eggs, sausage, ham, bacon, cheese, sausage, eggs, bacon, cheese, bacon, ad infinitum...
it's 900 friggin' calories, 657 of them from fat so its carbs are more or less irrelevant

[Release The Hounds]

55. Hardees' Monster Thickburger

[Kansas Wyatt]

59. I can't eat fast food anymore.

First of all, it just goes right through me, like it is some sort of bowel blow compound. Hell, that may be their solution for the crap they make it out of... Just add something to blow out your bowels, so it gets rid of all the bad shit in it.

Next, it doesn't matter which fast food place you go to, it's all the same thing. Barely eatable shit.

Finally... Who in the Hell decided that the more cheap greasy meat you can throw in something, the better?
I do not want a 1/3 or 1/2 lb. hamburger that isn't fully cooked and dripping grease everywhere. Nor do I want a taco that is loaded half full of what appears and smells like canned ALPO dogfood, and again, under cooked and dripping with grease.

[BlooInBloo]

62. mmmmm Sausage, egg, and cheese. My 3 fav food groups.

[Crunchy Frog]

64. Hate to say it, but I really do kinda like the McGriddle.

:blush:

[Missy Vixen]

66. I don't claim to be perfect, but here's the facts

I've had a bacon cheeseburger pizza from a local pizzeria. It's actually good. Once in awhile. (Let's face it, it's a fat bomb.) I think I've had a McGriddle once in the past several years. We don't eat at Taco Bell; it has an immediate negative effect on me. I'd like to try the grilled chicken at KFC, but I don't want to try it badly enough to actually go there. I stay out of Jack in the Box because they have a caramel shake that is unbelievably good (and about a million calories). Don't need it.

The rest of the fast food stuff? Eww. We are lucky enough to have Burgermaster in the Seattle area. It's more expensive (burger, fries and a drink are almost $8.00 now,) but their hamburgers are made from grass-fed, no hormones added, never frozen beef. They take pride in the quality of their food. Plus, it's delicious.

http://www.burgermaster.biz/index.htm

[ColbertWatcher]

69. Did Domino's pay not to have their logo appear in the article? n/t

[cherokeeprogressive]

70. This is what a real fast food burger looks like when you get it.

In & Out's Double-Double is hands down the best burger around. And their fries are cut right before your eyes... mmmm

We don't have an In & Out here on the mountain, but we have a place called "Get the Burger" which is 99% as good.

[depakid]

71. Vile is right

I can't even stomach the smell of those places- much less consider putting that crap in my mouth.

[Forkboy]

72. Yeah, but who goes to McDonalds or Taco Bell for nutrition?

I like Taco Bell (yeah, I'm weird), but I don't go there thinking I'm somehow going to eat healthy.

And I can't tell you how good "lava sauce" sounds. ;)

[WillowTree]

74. For an extra-good laugh.......or 50...

....check out The Gallery of Regrettable Food

http://www.lileks.com/institute/gallery/spec.html

A friend and I sat on the phone perusing this site together and laughing ourselves sick for about an hour one night. The pictures themselves would be enough, but the commentary is downright hilarious.

[pinniped]

77. That vile looking KFC bowl just had to be there.

The Jack greasy tacos with the pseudo-meat rightly deserves its first place status. I think the entire thing goes right into the fryer. That's probably how the pseudo-meat fuzes with the shell.

Years ago, those greasy tacos were 3 for a dollar.