Generic GOP scandal checklist:

[Initech]

I am a:

(_) College republican
(_) Mayor
(_) City council member
(_) Wall Street Executive
(_) Talk Show Host
(_) Governor
(_) Senator
(_) Fundamentalist fire-and-brimstone preacher
(_) Congressional representative
(_) Presidential candidate

I got caught because I did one or more of the following:

(_) Cheated on my wife
(_) Cheated on my mistress
(_) Child molestation/pornography
(_) Did a shitload of drugs and/or alcohol
(_) Slept with some hookers
(_) Killed a hooker
(_) Killed some innocent civilians
(_) Got a DUI
(_) Destroyed one or more vehicles
(_) Accidentally shot my hunting partner in the face
(_) Made a blatantly racist comment
(_) Have ties to white supremacist groups
(_) Have ties to anti-GLBT groups
(_) Took trips to foreign countries on the taxpayer's dollar for sex
(_) Took my company's payroll to Vegas and bet it all on #6
(_) Stole my company's payroll and moved it to offshore bank accounts
(_) Denied paying my taxes despite raising them 1500%
(_) Hypocritical douchebaggery
(_) Other (explain)________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________

I will appear on one or more of the following talk shows to explain my actions:

(_) Rush Limbaugh
(_) Glenn Beck
(_) Bill O'Reilly
(_) Neil Cavuto
(_) Greta Van Susteren
(_) Insane local radio talk show host

I will redeem myself through one or more of the following:

(_) Explain that the Bible is the source of my actions
(_) Give the money back but thanks to loopholes I dont really have to
give that much back
(_) Jail time
(_) Religious fullfillment
(_) Spending time w/family to shut up nosy reporters
(_) Re-baptismal ceremony makes the church goers happy
(_) Testify before Congress and/or local courts to prove
my innocence
(_) Hire a suave publicist who will ensure that I look
good explaining my actions

Scandal will be covered up through:

(_) Use of force
(_) Use of excessive propaganda
(_) Rush Limbaugh explaining that I did nothing wrong
(_) Taxpayer gets $300 to keep quiet until next general election
(_) Officials / reporters get bribed to keep quiet
(_) Huge catastrophe or celebrity death knocks news of scandal to page 23

[NJmaverick]

1. Very nice

is this your original work? It's very well done

[malaise]

2. LOL

Excellent

[Swamp Rat]

3. !!!

:applause:

[Initech]

5. That's awesome.

:rofl:

[Swamp Rat]

9. kick

:D

[MisterP]

4. few more:

(_) spied on someone
(_) spied on political opponent
(_) ran a torture-murder facility inspired by Eli Roth's Hostel

I hope for a scandal to remove AHNULD, but I'm afraid it would be that last one

[Initech]

10. I also forgot a category for "Joe The Plumber".

I'm not quite sure what that would imply though.

And I dont think Ahnuld can run for a second term because of the circumstances surrounding his first election. I'm not sure on that though.

[Swamp Rat]

11. *slurp!*

Don't forget the bottom feeders. :D

[Soylent Brice]

6. to the greatest.

[unblock]

7. correction: hypocritical douchebaggery is not a scandal; it's their party platform.

[Initech]

8. Ah certainly true.

Although I should point out that if you add hypocritical douchebaggery to any of the following (like say an anti-gay marriage morals and values senator is caught hiding his male escort from his wife) THAT is how you get your fuckin' scandal! :evilgrin: