Just checking in from last night...

[armyowalgreens]

Well, I survived. I feel like shit right now, but at least I'm alive.

I'm a little embarrassed that I typed out my issues for all the world to see. But I'm glad you guys were there when I needed you.

I feel like I need to give a little back story now that I'm sober and calm.

Last night, I went to a friends house party expecting to stick around for only a few minutes. I wasn't planning on drinking. Well, sure enough I found my self slamming down shots and next thing I knew it was 1 AM. I was about as drunk as I had ever been. I realized the situation I was getting myself into, so I stopped drinking and sat on the couch watching Harold and Kumar.

Somewhere around 3 AM, a guy came into the room and we started talking about school. I told him that I was pre-law. He said that I would be making a lot of money after I finished law school. But I explained to him that I didn't care about the money. I just want to help people. Well he started laughing hysterically and told me that I was never going to make it through law school with an attitude like that. He told me I better start thinking about teaching or something.

Well I got pretty pissed off. And I decided to leave the party while I was still drunk. I wasn't wasted, but my face was still numb. So I got out onto the road, and realized what I was doing and I panicked. But I was too scared to pull over. So I kept driving.

I started thinking about what the guy had said, and I got more and more angry at myself. I kept telling myself that guy was right and I would never make it in law school. I mean I couldn't even manage to keep myself from driving when I was drunk. How would I be able to hold myself together in law school?

Somehow, I made it home without hitting anything or getting pulled over. But by the time I walked into my house, I was in a state of complete apathy towards my life. I hadn't been that depressed since I almost attempted suicide a little over a year ago.


But, for some reason, I got on DU like I always do at 3 AM and started typing. I don't know exactly what I responded to last night, but I hope I didn't piss anyone off.

I'm feeling a lot happier now. About as happy as someone can be after spending much of the early morning weeping and the rest of the day sleeping off a hangover. But I think I'm going to be okay.


Thanks again to everyone who left comments for me last night. I appreciate the DU love.



Army

[warrior1]

1. I think we've all been there

I'm glad you feel better.

[armyowalgreens]

2. Thanks warrior1

[armyowalgreens]

3. Bump for the night shift since you guys were up with me last night...

[renate]

4. I missed the whole thing, somehow

(I'm like Robert Benchley... always looking in the other direction while big things are happening right in front of me)

...but I'm very glad you're feeling better now, and very sorry that you had a tough night. Thank goodness you got home okay. :hug:

[armyowalgreens]

5. I'm really just happy that I didn't hurt anyone else...