All The Wrong People Accepting Sanford's Apology

[yoyossarian]

Asshat GOP Governor Mark Sanford has publicly apologized for cheating on his wife, which has caused a bunch of complete imbeciles and cretins to crawl out from under their slimy rocks and accept this apology as if it were meant for their ears alone.

"I accept his apology," says Republican state Sen. Jake Knotts, a frequent Sanford critic, and someone that Sanford wasn't even talking to when he made his pointless public pronouncement of his guilt and bad feelings associated with it. "I'm sorry for the problems that he has got, and I'm going to do everything I can to make it possible for him to work through his problems."

"I hope he and his family work this out, because they are a good family and have beautiful children," Knotts goes on in simply the most daffy manner imaginable, given tlittle girlshat it's really none of his goddamned business whatsoever. "I feel for him, and I want to see him work it out."

After explaining to reporters at the outset of the news conference that his relationship with his friend in Argentina turned into something deeper about a year ago, Sanford said, "As a consequence, I hurt her, I hurt you all, I hurt my wife, I hurt my boys, I hurt friends like Tom Davis, I hurt a lot of little girls and circus people and different folks, and all I can say is that I apologize."

However, when questioned later Governor Sanford made it clear that he was NOT apologizing to everyone in the world--just his own immediate family, friends and acquaintances, as well as any possibly-offended person whose vote he would need come next election. "I mean, let's face it--I didn't hurt EVERYbody... just a lot of different folks, too many to name, really... but still, not everyone.

"Still..." he added thoughtfully, "Maybe it wouldn't hurt to apologize to everybody, just in case... Okay, I'm sorry, EVERYONE. Okay? I said I'm sorry, and I'll work harder in the future. I hurt my wife and dog and kids and God and Jesus and the angels... and several defenseless homeless people... and cheerleaders... I've hurt lotsa cheerleaders over the years... boy, those were the days!... but anyways, vote for me, because I've learned such an important lesson today, and I know I have what it takes to be a better politician--if not tomorrow, then soon, I'm sure."little gilittle girlsrls

"I accept this apology without hesitation or doubt. Mark Sanford's words are prime evidence that he knew he was caught, and accepted it. It is a wise man indeed who knows when to lower the axe and come along quietly. I know he has learned his lesson, and I'm confident he won't ever cheat on me again," said George Will without any hint of humor in his voice.

PRESIDENT EVIL ONLINE
has risen from the grave.

[madeline_con]

1. "I'm going to do everything I can to make it possible for him to work through his problems."

Could mean he's going to work hard to see that he has a long "rest" away from politics. :shrug:

[KansDem]

2. "...Sanford made it clear that he was NOT apologizing to everyone in the world..."

...just his own immediate family, friends and acquaintances, as well as any possibly-offended person whose vote he would need come next election. "I mean, let's face it--I didn't hurt EVERYbody...

You asshole! You hurt the residents of South Carolina! You're their governor, yet you saw fit to "escape" with your paramour to an "undisclosed location." What if a state emergency or disaster needed your immediate attention? Where the hell were you? Didn't you "disappear" for a few days? What if you needed to be contacted with regard to immediate state action. You are the CiC of the SC National Guard, aren't you? Where was their Commander in Chief?

You disgust me! This isn't a question of "marital infidelity," although the GOP and CorpMedia is portraying it as such. This is about gross dereliction of duty and incompetence! I don't give a rat's ass if you are boinking some floozy, but, if I were a SC resident, I sure as hell would be concerned you weren't at your post when you should have been!

Like W, you were AWOL!!! :grr:

[Kdillard]

4. Yep that is the whole point of the matter. Not the affair which I believe is a matter

best left to his family to deal with but his dereliction of duty.

[billyoc]

3. Save it for your sentencing hearing.

You stole government funds, tango boy.