Accusing People Who Aren't Gay Of Being Gay

[DemocratSinceBirth]

I am not getting "preachey". I just see a sentiment on DU from time to time that is disturbing. And that sentiment is expressed in accusing an ostensibly heterosexual person usually a politician of being gay. That implies there is something wrong with being gay which of course there isn't.

You don't see ostensibly gay people accused of being straight.

[konnichi wa]

1. Isn't it -usually- directed at someone with a history of public homophobia?

That's how I prefer to think about those posts...

[DemocratSinceBirth]

5. I Really Am Not Refering To Closeted Gays.

For instance the governor of SC was missing. Somebody started a post accusing him of having a gay relationship.


Same things with some young people. They will use the word "gay" as an epithet, as in that's "gay" or so and so is "gay".


We need to get past all forms of bigotry, homophobia, racism, xenophobia, et cetera... We are one...

[CJCRANE]

9. You're conflating two unrelated things.

What DUers say about Republican pols and what young people say to each other. They're two completely different things.

I sense an attempt to clamp down on a popular DU meme about RW habits and hypocrisy.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

21. I Tried To Be Careful

I wasn't trying to clamp down on a meme.

Yes, the two things I alluded two are unrelated but at its core is the suggestion there is something wrong with being gay.

And yes, closeted gays who oppose civil rights for gays need to be "outed"

I can't get in someone's heart or mind but it seems making the suggestion that a straight person is gay with no evidence to suggest so suggests the person making the suggestion believes there is something wrong with being gay. That's why you rarely see ostensibly gay ostensibly people referred to as straight...

[CJCRANE]

39. Fair enough, that makes sense

but there are some memes on DU that won't go away because they're reasonably close to the truth such as...

-Freepers can't spell

-Hypocritical "family values" RWers often have affairs

Quite often those affairs are same-sex. It's the affair that's the hypocrisy.
When hypocritical RWers stop having affairs the meme will disappear.

[KamaAina]

23. It -always- is when it comes from me!

It's the hypocrisy that I'm going after on the rare occasion when I do that, you see.

[kenny blankenship]

49. Stick around new guy

And you'll learn otherwise.

[konnichi wa]

54. So 'usually' isn't right?

I am always willing to learn. :-)

[kenny blankenship]

70. You don't need to wait very long

This isn't homophobic, mind you, he's just askin' a question. And he has a Gay Friend® too!

Don't forget to read all the posts replying to him. They get the dog whistle and take it further. Well now it's locked. When you whistle up dogs, you end up with fleas.

[spoony]

59. But the problem with that

is that when people act like all homophobes are self-hating gay people, it makes it sound like there's no one in the straight community who opposes gay people or gay rights. It shifts the burden back onto gay people, like they're causing all their own problems. While often well-meaning, such speculation actually diminishes and vilifies the victimised community.

[CJCRANE]

2. The accusation is usually of hypocrisy nt

[Cronus Protagonist]

3. You must be straight

lol

[Stephanie]

4. Assuming might be a better word than accusing

[Buzz Clik]

6. Let's be honest: the only people at DU who can tell jokes about being gay are those who are gay.

From anyone else, it's immediately assumed to be biased and intolerant.

I learned that lesson, and my reaction is, "Whatever." So, I don't get to tell gay jokes. bfd.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

8. I Tried To Be As Careful As Possible

Maybe this explains my position...Richard Gere is often accused of being gay. Maybe he is...Maybe he isn't...


Whenever he's asked if he's gay he doesn't deny being gay or admit to being gay because to deny being gay implies there's something wrong with it...

[Buzz Clik]

11. Hm. I assumed you were talking about joking. Sorry for misunderstanding.

I agree with the post above 100%.

[KittyWampus]

58. What you did is start a thread about another thread. A thread that had already sunk hours ago.

Aren't you just so special.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

68. I Have Been Here Nearly Seven Years

I have seen that sentiment expressed numerous times even here ; that a straight person must be gay for the mere reason that he did something odd as if odd behavior and being gay are synonymous.




on edit-six years

And I am special. We are all special in God's eyes...


And since you're fond of quoting scripture I recommend you read Proverbs 12:18

[babythunder]

61. I think it has more to do with

people thinking someone is trying to be something that they aren't. Not speaking about Richard Gere' sexuality because I don't know or care but just in general terms.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

71. As far as I know, Richard Gere has never condemned homosexuals...

....so who cares?

Larry Craig on the other hand.....follow the thread here?

[rcrush]

18. +1

[cboy4]

25. You know, you seem like a reasonable person. Why wouldn't you understand

whenever a "bad Republican" is caught up in poor, controversial behavior -- and people start inferring that it must have to do with homosexuality ....

Why don't you blame gay people for being offended that BAD is being compared to GAY? That everyone we hate must be gay?

Huh come Buzz Clik? Why don't you get that?

[DemocratSinceBirth]

28. What Motivated My Post Was A Post That Suggested Governor Sanford Is Having A Gay Relationship

I know he's very conservative but there's nothing in his background to suggest he's gay...

All of a sudden I see a post in CAPS that's he having a gay relationship and that's why he "disappeared"...


Is every missing person presumed to be gay?

[Buzz Clik]

45. You posted 20 minutes after the author of the OP and I worked this out.

Maybe you can explain why you ignored that.

[cboy4]

62. With all due respect, the OP is not gay. I asked you about this, and I'm

still curious.

But that's cool if you don't have a good answer.

So you really think only gay people can tell gay jokes, huh. Why?


6. Let's be honest: the only people at DU who can tell jokes about being gay are those who are gay.

From anyone else, it's immediately assumed to be biased and intolerant.

I learned that lesson, and my reaction is, "Whatever." So, I don't get to tell gay jokes. bfd.

[Buzz Clik]

64. I never implied or made any assumption about the sexual preference -- or gender -- of the OP.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

[cboy4]

67. What??!?!

I never accused you of that.

I asked you why you said and feel:

Let's be honest: the only people at DU who can tell jokes about being gay are those who are gay?

[keepCAblue]

48. Hey but you can still tell black jokes... so not to worry!

:sarcasm:

[Buzz Clik]

65. There you go!

Way to zoom right in on my point.

The geniuses are out in force today.

:sarcasm: :eyes:

[madinmaryland]

7. It's the hypocrisy..

I don't care what they are doing, but if they are preaching one thing (abstinence before marriage, marital fidelity, anti-choice) and do something that contradicts what they are saying, I (we) have an obligation to call them out on it.

Since it is republicans that seem to have this issue, I have to note when they do this. You rarely see democrats arguing for such moral certitude. As a result, when a Dem has a failure, so be it, as they were never telling me not to do whatever they did.

If the Repukes were to STFU about the morals, then I could care less what they do.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

12. The Accusation Is Usually Made In A Way That Suggests There Is Something Wrong With Being Gay.

I have no problem with outing hypocrites. The Bible says "your sins will find you out".

[NoSheep]

34. I believe the "wrongness" you sense is about the subject being a hypocrite.

[dalaigh lllama]

53. I agree with you, DSB

I thinks it behooves all of us to at least think about what you're saying. I understand many DUers may say these things because of the accusee's previous record against LGBT issues, but I've also seen posts that seemed to equate "gay" with "something wrong." It doesn't hurt to point this out; it's not quashing anyone's freedom of speech, but an attempt to make us cognizant of how certain phrasings are perceived.

[Deja Q]

56. Seconded.

If I were out there promoting relationships and boinking everyone I saw... big trouble.

Maybe that's why Newt Gingrich has zero credibility in that area...?

[Horse with no Name]

10. I'm straight

It wouldn't bother me for someone to "accuse" me of being gay.
However...I'm going to kick some ass if someone accuses me of being a republican.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

14. Me Neither

But the accusation is usually made to suggest there is something wrong in being "gay"

[noiretextatique]

38. hilarious

:rofl: me too...i'd be pissed if any even thought i could ever possibly be a republican.

[Taverner]

13. Oh - thought you were referring to the Perez Hilton Fracas

[DemocratSinceBirth]

15. What Did I Miss?

~

[Taverner]

32. Perez Hilton used homophobic slurs against Will.I.Am

GLAAD subsequently gave him a tongue lashing

[CJCRANE]

16. There is something wrong with being a hypocrite.

Doesn't matter who it is.

[theoldman]

17. People are not 100% straight or 100% gay.

We are a mixture of both and lean one way or the other. They is why we have bisexuals who are in the middle. There is no sharp dividing line.

[ecstatic]

19. I love Kathy Griffin, but she is very guilty of this

She is constantly saying that Oprah and Gayle are gay and the other night she hinted that Larry King is bi. :crazy:

[Fire1]

24. Kathy Griffin is stupid. Don't like her.

[Sebastian Doyle]

42. Larry King?

First time I ever heard that one!

As for the Oprah & Gayle stuff..... that's been around for years. Not saying it's true, not saying it ain't, don't give a shit one way or the other. But it's one of those rumors that doesn't go away, usually with the addition that Stedman's just a "beard" and that's why he and Oprah never got married.

[snake in the grass]

20. I'm straight, but...

when someone calls me gay, I just laugh heartily and thank them. The look of confusion is priceless.

[scheming daemons]

22. We're accusing them of being HYPOCRITES....

... not "being gay".... it's "being gay, but denying it and denying OTHER gays of rights".

[cboy4]

27. No, that's not the way it comes across.

If every gay person is screaming that we don't like to be compared to poor, embarrassing, humiliating behavior by bad people -- why won't you accept that?

It's just so fucking important to make gay jokes.

That's the bottom line, ha scheming daemons?

[scheming daemons]

33. I'm not talking about jokes.. I'm talking about outing politicians

[cboy4]

35. Please answer my question about why you don't get or respect LGBT

anger over this.

[scheming daemons]

52. I do get the anger

...over jokes about being gay. I think it's reprehensible.


I thought the OP was asking a different question... i.e. why accuse politicians of being gay?

I'm saying... it is not so much an accusation about being gay... it is an accusation about being a hypocrite.

In other words, "Senator Dumbass, why do you continually work against gay rights when it is a poorly-kept secret that you are gay yourself?"

We frequently seem to discover that those that are working hardest to thwart advancements in gay rights are in the closet and in denial. In their minds it is something "bad" - so they deny who they are.

They're hypocrites.

[NoSheep]

36. IS every gay person screaming that? If so, I'm happy to honor those feelings.

Gay jokes aren't funny at all. Calling out hypocrites is important though, I feel.

[cboy4]

50. How would you feel if an incredibly important aspect/characterisitic of your

life was constantly compared to bad behavior by others?

Even for argument sake to point out hypocrisy.

How do you think that feels?

[NoSheep]

72. It feels terrible. It happens to me everyday. I think that is why I asked the question.

Would you have the rest of us simply ignore hypocrisy? Really? I don't know one gay person who would say "all gays" under any circumstances.

As for "How do I think it feels"? I know how it feels. I am female. I've known my entire conscious life that the Western standard for "adult behavior" is a male model.

"Look, he throws, runs, acts, sounds like a girl."
"Oh, you're a girly man not a manly man."
The use of "he" as the generic pronoun of choice in English.
Just the term effeminate connotes something negative.

Besides that, I'm also faaaaaaaaar left. I'm called a "kook" by a huge majority of people in my culture as well as a good number of people here on DU. I cannot have a reasonable relationship with my blood relatives becasue of this.

I'm MIHOP: "Conspiracy Theorist".

Some might say I'm a "Dirty Hippie".

I'm also a "Fag Hag" and a "Nigger Lover".

I'm 46 and I've never been married: "Old Maid".

My parents were uneducated working class Caucasian people: "Poor White Trash".

[Starbucks Anarchist]

30. But why is that the go-to thought?

Nobody claims Klan members are secretly black, do they?

Isn't it possible that maybe, just maybe, homophobes are simply assholes without a skeleton in the closet?

[DemocratSinceBirth]

31. I Get The Concept Of Closted, Homophobic Gays

They express hostility toward gays to deflect attention from themselves....

I get that...

But sometimes the targets are just your garden variety asshole Republicants...

We even witnessed Bush* is a closted gay threads...My gay friends would say he wasn't cool enough to be gay...

[noiretextatique]

41. i am lesbian who totally understands what you mean

i have zero tolerance for people who cower in the closet while advocating an anti-gay agenda....zero.
as for accusing straight people of being gay who really aren't gay...i don't see that as a huge problem.

[Warpy]

26. Only antigay hypocrites should have that accusation

because an experiment at the University of Georgia in the 90s confirmed Freud's proclamation that homophobes were repressing their own gay sexuality.

Being gay isn't wrong. Being a shrieking hypocrite is wrong.

[DatManFromNawlins]

29. It is derogatory to gay people

Since it is being used to insult or embarrass someone.

[RaleighNCDUer]

37. Seeing as this is actually all about Gov Sanford

I think it is all a distraction from what he was REALLY doing and who he was REALLY meeting.

Naked hiking? Gay liaison?

Huh uh.

Where has Cheney been the last few days? And Rove?

Sanford's name has already been floated for a run in '12.

Why all the DISTRACTIONS from that?

[DemocratSinceBirth]

40. Naked Hiking Seems Dangerous

You can get all kinda of insect bites...

[Sebastian Doyle]

43. And sunburn

...in some very painful places :scared:

[dsc]

44. thank you for posting this

sadly most of the people who insist on posting this non sense don't give a flying fig about gays and will continue to post it no matter what. It is always about the hypocrisy supposedly.

[Buzz Clik]

46. Yet another example of what you're saying just emerged.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x5906893

I believe I was the first to hammer the alert button on that one.

[CJCRANE]

47. It's obvious he was reading this thread and did it to stir things up nt

[libodem]

51. Indeed a fine line

in offending our gay friends. It's difficult to be perfectly politically correct 100% of the time. Republicans just shoot off their mouthes in any direction and don't care who they wound. They have the luxury of time tested immemorial Biblically based 'truths' and 'creeds' to fall back on, so they are always 'right'. It's a different world of grey not black and white with us. And we do care who we wound. No one can take a stand on anything without having to apologize to somebody later about it.

I think we should just try, spouting out our opinions, with no links and no apologies for once.

Why? Who is gay, now? So many evil closeted Republicans, who vote against rights for gay folks. Sometimes the worse the voting record on housing, employment, benefits, the more the hypocrites are hiding. Maybe the accused is gay?

And for the record I dislike using the word gay as meaning something bad. My sons, when they were teens, would say "that's so gay" as an insult. I corrected them with little response.

[Deja Q]

55. I thought it wasn't supposed to make a difference either way...

oops.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

60. It's Not

That's why you shouldn't accuse a gay person of being straight or a straight person of being gay.

Why do kids call other kids gay?

And why all of a sudden is Governor Sanford accused of being gay?

I elaborated on my reasoning in post eight.

It shouldn't make a difference but if everybody believed it made no difference you wouldn't have straight people calling other presumably straight people gay to embarrass them...

[KittyWampus]

57. It IS WRONG TO REPUBLICANS. That's why it's used. Not defending it. Just saying.

[loyalkydem]

63. To be fair

In my defense I was trying to insert a little humor. DU needs to lighten up a bit. I'm gay myself. I know I'm not the only one who made jokes. So I do apologize for what I said

[jmondine]

66. To me, it's the moral equivalent of accusing a left handed person of being right handed

[Mike 03]

69. I thought you were talking about Perez Hilton's constant accusations that

this or that celebrity is gay and should just admit it, even when he has been wrong. (I mention Perez Hilton because he was so prominently in the news this week and has gone on the Howard Stern Show to "reveal" that so and so is Gay when it turned out he was straight.)

But in general, I agree with your post, that it's pretty lame for "straight" people to level accusations as if it is some bad thing to be homosexual.