If you had cancer and chemo was only guarenteed to extend your life for 6 months would you?

[greenbriar]

A friend of mine is refusing Chemo as he says it only would promise another 6-8 months and not quality of life, just extend life

his family is furious with him but I sort of understand

MOney is not an issue, they have good money and insuance is so far being decent.


The family wants him to do the chemo and he is refusing

I am trying to stay neutral...I see both sides

[babylonsister]

1. I think it would depend on what kind of cancer and what horrors I'd

already been through. I watched my mom die a slow, agonizing death from cancer. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

[sharp_stick]

2. It depends

I've got a couple of young kids, I'd probably stick around as long as I could. If I didn't have the kids, I probably wouldn't do it.

[sinkingfeeling]

3. I declined to have Chemo along with my radiation in April. The combination was supposed to

increase my survival odds by 10%. I really believe the only opinion that counts in this type of decision is that of the cancer patient.

[pacalo]

36. My 78-yr.-old mother, a breast cancer survivor, refused to continue chemo after one treatment.

She got extremely ill a day after her first chemo treatment -- we think she may have picked up a virus which may have been worsened by the chemo. She refused to go back.

Almost 10 years later, she continues to be cancer-free. :)

[merh]

81. .

:hug:

[QC]

4. My grandmother eventually refused treatment. I respected her for it. n/t

[Mari333]

5. each individual should be able to be respected to choose for themselves

I, for one, would choose no chemo in that situation. Its quality, not longevity.

[Individualist]

60. Absolutely!

I've always valued quality of life above longevity.

[KansDem]

6. I see his point.

I've wondered about this many times myself. I used to work in a hospital (orderly in the radiology department) and have seen what such treatments can do.

I would probably opt for death with dignity...

[Gormy Cuss]

7. The hard truth is that the family should respect his wishes.

I hope that they can come to that understanding soon.

[mike_c]

8. speaking only for myself, it would depend on whether...

...I had anything going that the additional six months would see to completion, or some other compelling reason. But the reason would have to be REALLY compelling.

Frankly, in that situation, my first impulse is to want to take a quite, comfortable means of suicide to a wonderfully private and remote beach I know in Mexico and spend a couple of months getting my thoughts organized and my journal caught up, then end life on my own terms.

[sinkingfeeling]

14. Ditto.

[seabeyond]

9. personal decision. i totally respect his right and would hope family comes to a place

where they can embrace, love and enjoy each other in the now and live this moment. and send him off in love, not anger, remorse, regret

[greenbriar]

10. that is what I told his mom

I think I would rather have some quality time with what ever I had left then to be puking my guts out and being too weak to enjoy anything.


His sister says he is just depressed and needs to see a therapist.


I say he just wants to enjoy what time he has left.


I would rather not be involved, but he is almost like a brother to us and it is heartbreaking

[truedelphi]

30. Please know that your support is invaluable to this person

As someone who has done hospice work for a long time, can I say it is so important for the patient with cancer to have friends who support and ADVOCATE for their point of view?

Also do help this person look into the availablility of hospice in their area. A well-run County should have a hospice agency that will assist in sending in qualified nurses' aides for daily assistance once the patient is too weak to cope on their own. There can be daily or every other day visits from a nurse, and tremendous assistance with pain meds, including opiates, so that the final days do not have to be spent in nerve wracking pain.

[JerseygirlCT]

52. Well, she could be right -

but it would still be his choice.

Seems like a good therapist wouldn't be a bad idea in either case...

[Hekate]

82. Perhaps seeing a therapist would help his sister come to terms with his decision...

Seriously.

Also, doesn't Hospice offer counseling to families? Regardless of the source, your friend's family would very likely benefit from some group sessions -- without him -- to sort out their own feelings.

Have you read Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's "On Death and Dying"? It's still as relevant as it was when my grandma was dying in 1970 -- it helped my mom and her sisters a great deal to read that book.

I'm so sorry for your grief over your friend. He's lucky to have you as a friend who respects his decision. :hug:

Hekate

[Horse with no Name]

11. Quality over quantity any day of the week and twice and Sunday

Chemo is poison and has many of the same side effects. IF the 6-8 months is only going to be spent jumping through the savings accounts, throwing up, losing hair, continual dr appts...give me a week on a beach instead and we will call it a life well-spent and dying on my own terms.
Not even a second of hesitation to make that choice.

[safeinOhio]

63. My feelings too

A couple of good weeks in Vegas with the hookers, rather than another 6 months of shit. Hey, thats just me.

[roody]

12. It is his life.

[Robyn66]

13. I finished chemo in march

I would do anything and try anything. You never know how well you are going ot respond IMO. Its a personal choice but given the choice between life and death I would opt for a chance at life again in a heart beat and hope that it gave me more than 6-8 months. But, everyone is different and some people have suffered a long hard fight and are ready to stop and you have to respect that.

[The_Commonist]

15. No way...

I've always been a quality over quantity sort of person.
My family understands that as well.
Why would his people want to watch him waste away and be miserable?
When I was very young, I watched my grandfather, who was a big, tough guy, waste away into a miserable shell of the person that he once was. He was embarrassed and pissed off at the whole thing.
At that point, I decided that I would never let that happen to me, and I've made sure that my family understands that. We're all on the same page.

It's hard to let go, I suppose...

[greenbriar]

18. I think I would rather spend what time I had left saying my goodbyes and enjoying life

in my favorite places with my favorite people than to be sick and run back and forth to the doctors

[Fire1]

47. Agree. Makes perfect sense to me. n/t

[Solly Mack]

16. Quality of life for those 6 months would be my determining factor as well

but to each his own

[SidDithers]

17. Depends...

chemo can be very nasty, but so is cancer. There's no way to answer without knowing about expected length and quality of life without chemo.

Sid

[beam me up scottie]

54. That's a very good point.

Six years ago my dad had surgery for colon cancer and then again a year later to remove part of his right lung. His oncologist was one of the best in the country and was fairly certain he had removed all of the tumor. He told my dad that his life expectancy would be the same with or without chemo.

Dad decided to skip the chemo, get regular screenings and enjoy every minute he had left. We just celebrated another Father's Day and he has no regrets. :)

When it comes to cancer, it's almost always a crap shoot, oncologists should give patients the truth and allow them to make informed decisions.



:hi: hiya, Sid, a belated Happy Daddy's Day to you!

[SidDithers]

72. Heya bmus!!!...

Great to see you :hi:

Sid

[beam me up scottie]

55. edit, dupe

[Mz Pip]

19. If I just felt

like shit for 6 more months I'd decline. If I felt okay then I'd probably do it, but a lot of that end stage treatment that prolongs life doesn't necessarily make you feel any better. I'd definitely pass on 6 months of vomiting, exhaustion and pain.

[DailyGrind51]

20. I HAD cancer and know that successful treament protocols are discovered all the time.

I am still around, cancer-free, after 27 years, because I stuck with combination chemotherapy. puked my guts out, lost my hair, and the rest of the hell that treatment entails.

[Lars39]

21. If I had never had chemo before I'd probably have it.

If it was my 2nd or 3rd round of chemo I would have to really think about it, especially if that 6 months might stretch longer. I had some pretty serious chemo the first time...took 4 months in all....came thru it well, but it was very hard on my body. I hope your friend is getting into hospice...they can help the family deal with his decision.

[tularetom]

My mom refused all treatment for lung cancer

She was 86 and so crippled by arthritis she couldn't even grip a hairbrush or toothbrush. She had very little quality of life and was not happy.

I think she asked for something to ease the pain but she didn't want to extend her life.

We tried to talk her out of it at the time but looking back that seems pretty selfish. She knew how bad she felt better than the rest of us.

In the end it's your friends decision, not his family's.

[greenbriar]

23. I know

and I hope his family respects his decision

[seemunkee]

22. My mom took every treatment they threw at her

and when she was in the hospital for the last time she was upset that she didn't get the 9 months she thought she had.
She was a fighter and wanted to live as much life as she could, I would/will be the same way.

[uppityperson]

37. My mom did also, gave her 10 yrs vs the 6 months. Me? It all depends

on what type cancer, what type chemo, what all was going on with me, my body, life, the universe, etc

It can be very difficult to respect someone's wishes to not fight, but it is a necessary thing to do as it is all so individualized and is all about the person with cancer.

Everyone dies, having a good life and a good death is important, and no one can tell another how to do that. Supporting others in their decisions can be very difficult, but is necessary.

[seemunkee]

61. That was on her fifth recurrence, 15 years for fighting it

What finally did her in was getting a new primary while on chemo for a recurrence. Her body couldn't take it anymore and started shutting down.

And you are right we all need to make our own decisions when the time comes.

[KittyWampus]

24. It all depends. So many variables. One one hand, quality of life is key. On other hand, how strong

do I feel and how many loose ends would I want to tie up?

[RaleighNCDUer]

25. It would entirely depend on two things -

1) would I feel sicker with or without the chemo, and

2) is there anything in particular that is not 'finished' that I could complete in the time allowed.

As an essentially unpublished writer (one short story sold) I usually have a project in the works, and I might take the chemo if I thought I could finish an on-going project in that time. Otherwise, I'd probably let it go.

[opihimoimoi]

Depends on his purpose in life....suppose he is working on some kind of research

cutting edge shit which would save/advance many lives...and the extra 6 months would make a sig diff...that would be a reason to go for it....and also his strength...can he do it and still function?

and...if his life has no real purpose other than living...then make the best of the bucket list....

[Donnachaidh]

26. Not a chance

My mother had pancreatic cancer, and was told that chemo *might* give her some time, but the side effects were horrendous. And it didn't give her more time - it did such a number on her she died faster.Why should I saddle my family with the cost? It only benefits the doctor's bottom line. :shrug:

[Crunchy Frog]

27. His body, his choice.

Do his family really want to spend their last days with him furious?

[Peacetrain]

28. 23 years ago, I had ovarian cancer with a less than 20% survival chance..

But I was up for the chemo. It is a tough buisness in some of the chemo rotations. Especially the heavy metals.. the nurses had to gown and mask just to hang the bags of medications that were going into my veins. I must have glowed in the dark! It also depends where you start physically.. I started out strong.. but after 10 months could take no more. If your friend is already beaten down and physically drained, it maybe more than they can handle.

[ChickMagic]

46. Are you me , Peacetrain?

I also had ovarian cancer 23 years ago with a 10% chance of survival.
4 different drugs - 2 heavy metals. I lasted 9 months before I couldn't
do it anymore. I honestly don't know if I could do it again. I kind of
don't think so.

[Peacetrain]

70. ChickMagic.. I had to stop and think.. I did not make 10 but had 9

also.. what are the odds of that? cysplatinum, the drug from hell... I do not think I could do it again either.. went through 3 indwelling catheters.. three indwelling catheters into the heart for the chemo.. I not even think they do the 12 month cycle of the drugs anymore.. they are so toxic.. we must be made of some TOUGH stuff

CONGRATULATIONS on your 23 years!!//

[ChickMagic]

71. Congratulations to you too!

Cis-platin was the worst. I also had Adryamicin and Doxo-somthing. There was a fourth
but it was experimental and I don't remember the name.

I wish I had an indwelling cath. At the time, our lab was doing research on caths and
I saw all the little blood clots that were forming on it and it scared me. They didn't
tell me that if I had it in my veins, I would never have veins again. So now it's
absolute torture if I have to be stuck.

I also remember the gowned and masked nurses. One nurse dropped one of my IV bags and
she jumped away from it. That was pretty scary.

It's so rare that I "meet" another long time survivor. I'm so thrilled for you! I
hope neither of us have to face that possibility ever again.

[Peacetrain]

73. The reason I had three indwelling is because they kept floating loose

and had more than half direct to the veins.. and yep.. the veins are gone!!

We are rarer than hens teeth..


Nice to meet another survivor of that hell.

[ChickMagic]

74. So you had indwelling caths

and STILL had to lose your veins? Oh man. That really sucks.

:hug:

[northernlights]

29. his family is furious with him?

for choosing how he plans to spent his last hours, days or weeks? So they want to control his death? Nice support system. They must be a treat in life. Way to ensure he chooses to check out early.

Seriously, he is the one who will suffer the full consquences of his choice. They're going to lose him either way.

I don't know what choice I would make. I would research the particular chemo -- it's cost, it's side effects, what amelioratives were available for the side effects, etc.

I am alone, so there is a good chance I'd keep myself going at least long enough to ensure my critters were all set, then get set up w/a nice morphine pak and head to a beach to say goodby to the ocean while I could.

If I weren't alone, it would depend on my situation. In my current situation -- unemployed, no insurance, but own my own home -- I'd likely choose to check out now and at least leave the family with a home and no massive medical bills.

[Obamanaut]

31. Wife's uncle stopped chemo about 3 months ago. With chemo he

was tired, listless, couldn't eat like he wanted to, prognosis w/ chemo is maybe 12 months. After stopping and just doing something for pain management he seems happier, eats well, has more energy, has returned to work part time as a welder (he's in his 70's) making metal lawn decorations for a local nursery. Prognosis is 6 - 6 months w/o chemo, but he's happier and more comfortable.

That's what I would do, I think.

[patriotvoice]

32. Refuse.

If I'm not out making the world a better place, put a bullet in my brain. Fortunately, my family agrees.

[Gman]

33. The family is starting to grieve now. It's a selfish response and

I don't mean that in a bad way. It means the family doesn't want to lose him, not have him in their lives. They are avoiding dealing with it. I think, or at least hope the family will come to terms with it at some point in the next few weeks. They can then enjoy the quality time they have left with him.

[backtoblue]

34. No.

I would try to make the best of what time I had left and not die slowly over six months.

(in theory, anyways...)

[Maru Kitteh]

35. I would, on the off chance that the 6-8 months projection was wrong. It's happened before.

I have an uncle who was told he would be lucky to get a year after chemo, but he pulled through and he's still alive now, 8 years later.

Your friends life decisions about his medical care should be his own, period. I can't say I blame the family for being upset, that's totally understandable, but I hope they come to peace with it and don't allow it to taint the time he has left.

It would also be wise for him to be seen by a mental health specialist to make sure that he's not come to this conclusion from a state of depression. If so, then in my book, all bets are off. In the case of a depressed patient, I think the depression must be addressed first, then the decision about chemo.

[uppityperson]

38. My best wishes to his family and friends. It is difficult to accept someone's life/death decisions

Ultimately it is up to him.

It can be very hard to accept his decision, I wish the best to his family and friends.

[leftynyc]

39. I agree with your friend

(who I will be saying a prayer for tonight). I've seen the results of chemo and if they're only giving him 6 months with the chemo, I completely understand his position.

[BlueGirlRedState]

40. I've asked myself this question

My best friend was dx'd with ovarian cancer in July 2006, and died in May 2007. It was excruciating to watch her be hopeful, then beat down after every cancer marker reading. But she spent those last months doing the things she was not able to do with her children -- be a stay at home mom, volunteer at school more. It was wrenching and still is. I'm not sure I could go through all of it if I knew the end would be the same.

[Kaleva]

41. My father refused treatment

and died at his home surrounded by his family. My mother, almost twenty years earlier, went thru chemo and it was really rough on her altough it allowed her to live long enough to see her her first grandchild which is what she fought to stay alive for. She passed away less then a month later.

[damntexdem]

42. Support your friend in his decisions about his own life and its quality.

What you or I would do has nothing to do with his right to self-determination.

[scheming daemons]

43. As an atheist, I say ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY yes...

Since there is nothing that comes "after this"... I want "this" to last as long as possible. Keep my fucking brain alive in a big petri dish for all I care.

Just keep it going...

[Oregone]

62. Strange, I feel the opposite.

I could take it or leave it depending on if life was enjoyable or just full of fucking pain and misery. Id be wormfood over miserable any day.

[scheming daemons]

65. In 6 to 8 months, medical science could find a cure......it would suck to die one day before a cure

..was found.


Keep my ass alive as long as possible... someone may cure what I've got during that time, and the pain would be worth it.

[Oregone]

66. No, it wouldn't suck

You would be dead. Worm food. You wouldn't be conscious to agonize over the fact a cure was found. Extending misery for a "belief" in the possibility of a life saving hypothetical seems pointless.

Id rather enjoy my last days and embrace life.

[KittyWampus]

67. I appreciate the consistency of your thought! It's refreshing.

[scheming daemons]

68. There always is a "possibility"... it would be "belief" if I thought it was a certainty

As long as research is on-going, there's always a possibility... whatever the percentage might be.


But since I know there is NOTHING that comes after this life, then I don't want it to EVER end - if I can help it.

[davsand]

44. Depends on several factors. In any event it is up to the patient to decide.

Personally, I'd probably have to look at was this the first outbreak of cancer or was this a repeat of an earlier bout. I think I'd maybe be game to fight it the first time around, but I'd be hard pressed to do it a second or third time. I'd maybe (if facing a second bout of cancer) try some of the nutritional approaches to cancer management--like Dr Sears or Dr Mercola advocate for--but that would be about it. I would not be up for more surgery, radiation, or more chemo at that point.

If what I'm understanding from the OP is correct, however, there is NO chance of survival here, it is all about how much longer you live and how bad you feel during that time. If I'm correct about that assumption, I think I'd be inclined to go buy a bunch of scotch, a bale of pot, a carton of smokes, and a lawn chair. While that isn't everyone's decision, it would be how I'd handle it.

YMMV, I know for a fact that my husband does not view this the same way I do--we had this same discussion just a few days ago in the context of a family member who is facing her third or fourth tumor and more radiation and chemo. He told me he'd fight to hs last breath.

:shrug:


Laura

[DainBramaged]

45. My Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer four yeas ago

had a lumpectomy, and refused chemo, saying she had lived long enough. She survived until this past May 28th at 92 years old. And she enjoyed every minute up until the last couple of weeks. She complained that technology should gave caught up so they could have transplanted her brain into a new body.

I completely understand.

[K Gardner]

48. Kudos to a strong, courageous woman, and sympathy in your loss.

She did the right thing :-)

[quiller4]

49. At 58 if I was promised another 6 months with my spouse, I'd take it

If I were older, widowed or in generally poor health I might choose differently.

[Uben]

50. My wife denied chemo and radiation....

....after her cancer surgery. Though it was suggested by her doctor, she opted not to go through it. She figured if she was going to die, she was gonna have as much quality time as she could get. That was 6 yrs ago...cancer free and healthy as an ox! I don't blame the guy, after seeing what the crap did to my dad's quality of life for the last six months of his life. It's his choice and his family should abide by it. It may turn out the same as my wife's did!

[JerseygirlCT]

51. I think that's far too personal a decision for any choice to be "right"

for everyone.

Your friend absolutely has the right to make that determination for himself. I also understand, however, why it upsets his family. It may feel to them that he's ok with leaving them sooner - and since they love him, that hurts.

There's no good choice here, it seems. Lacking that, it sounds like he's opting for a happier, but shorter time. I'm sorry that he's in that position - I can't imagine how hard it must be.

[Irishonly]

53. It depends

My husband's aunt did many rounds of chemo with her terminal cancer. She decided to stop because her quality of life was not better with chemo. I also understand the family. We wanted my husband's aunt to continue because we didn't want to let her go. In the end we all supported her decision.

[winyanstaz]

56. Doctors are not always right. My husband was sent home with a terminal illness

and was told he had only five months to live at best. I took over and he lived another nine years.
I am not a dr nor am I giving medical advice but.....
Here is something the family might want to check out.

http://www.essiacinfo.org/
http://unicitypinoy.com/unicitypinoycom/www/shared/native_legend_tea.htm

just a couple to check out but there are many out there.
Native legend tea and Issiac tea are the same thing.



Best of luck to your friends.

[get the red out]

57. Each person is different

So there really isn't a side to take.

[Blue Diadem]

58. My Mom refused chemo.

She refused to even have tests to find out for sure what kind of lung cancer she had after they discovered she had colon cancer and wanted to determine for sure if the lung cancer was a metastasis. She did have the surgery to remove the tumor from her colon, and hated having the colostomy bag, and that was the extent of her treatment and as far as she would let the Dr's go.

I was angry and hurt beyond words and even now, 13 yrs later, it still hurts that she didn't want to try for us or her grandchildren. I know that's selfish but it is how I feel. She spent her life taking care of my sister and when my sister died, a large part of my Mom did too. Her Dr. told me she just didn't have the will to live anymore. She ended up refusing all treatment that would prolong her life and died 7 months after her surgery from a massive blood infection.

Even though I am hurt and didn't agree with her decisions, over the years I've accepted that for whatever reasons, it is ultimately up to the person going through it. As long as they are capable of making their own decision, the decision should be theirs.

[Oregone]

59. No...but...chemo can also very well tear you apart

Ive never heard of it extending for but a mere 6 months. I thought either you lived through it and put cancer in remission, or it helped to kill you

[hlthe2b]

64. Sometimes chemo can also be paliative....

Meaning his remaining days may be less filled with pain, depending.... If so, it might make more sense for him... Ultimately, though it is his choice and no one should judge him for that, no matter how painful it may be for his famiy to accept.

[MadHound]

69. Chemo is generally a pretty brutal treatment

I can understand refusing to go through the pain and agony if chemo is only going to bring less than a year in life. As your friend says, at this point it comes down to a choice between length of life and quality of life. At some point you have to say fuck it, keep me out of pain and let me go gently into that good night.

[karynnj]

75. It should be his decision

You mention quality of life, it might be that the chemo would worsen his quality of life for the short time he has left. I assume the 6 months is an estimate of the extra time - what if he has 6 months without it and 6 months with it - but the quality of life is better without it? It could be he sees it as painful and futile.

Staying neutral seems the right thing to do.

[rucky]

76. extend life for 6 months minimum, or 6 months maximum?

[NeedleCast]

77. I'd take the chemo, but I'd understand not wanting to do it as well

[Cleita]

78. My mother had chemo for a cancer that was incurable to extend her life.

After witnessing what she went through, I would not do it for myself. As a matter of fact I have decided not to get treatment for any end stage disease like cancer or kidney failure for example. I don't judge any one though who does. They may want to be around longer to be with grandchildren, spouse or any number of reasons, but since I have none of those, I'm ready to go when I get my calling. This gentleman's family should try to see his POV, however, his unwillingness to be in pain for that much longer. I can see where both sides have a point.

[Lyric]

79. Yes I would, because miracles tend to run in my family.

My paternal grandmother was diagnosed with stomach cancer back in the 50's. She refused chemo, had one operation to remove the tumor and part of her stomach, and lived to be 87 years old. She died of congestive heart failure in 1997.

My Mom was diagnosed with acute myelogenous leukemia at age 43, back in April of 2000. She has no insurance and no regular healthcare, so her cancer wasn't discovered until late in the game when she'd finally saved enough money for a doctor's office visit because she felt tired and achy and miserable all the time, and had developed small red spots all over her body. A simple blood test for anemia showed leukemia so advanced that her doctor drove her to the hospital himself rather than wait an hour for my stepfather to come back with the car.

She spent almost two months in the hospital on chemo to kill all of her bone marrow and her entire immune system. She developed a staph infection in her PIC line that almost killed her thanks to her lack of an immune system. I was seven months pregnant when she was admitted to the hospital, and she had only been home for one day when I brought LyricKid home. As I was living with her, we had to keep the two of them separated for a few weeks so that neither of them could infect or contaminate the other. She'd sit and watch him sleep from across the room, crying because she wanted so badly to hold him.

In total, she had two rounds of "normal" chemo. Then she had a stem cell harvesting procedure done, because she was not qualified to get a bone marrow transplant due to her heart problems. Then she had one last, REALLY intense, round of chemo, followed by the re-injection of her own stem cells along with platelets, blood, and gamma globulin to stimulate her bone marrow to re-grow. She went into remission by September, but her docs told her that because she already had compromised health, her odds of beating it long-term were practically zero. AML is one of the worst types of leukemia, and the long-term survival rate even for healthy people isn't that great. Her doctor told us that only 14% of adults with AML survive past a year, post-chemo.

Well that was in the year 2000. On July the 5th, she'll be celebrating her 52nd birthday, and if her heart problems don't take her from us before next year, we'll be celebrating ten years post-AML. She was cured of what everyone thought was incurable. It's nothing short of a miracle. We still keep in touch with her former head oncologist, who has sworn that if she makes it to ten years AML-free, he's driving up her to WV to buy her the best dinner in town, as she will be his very FIRST AML patient to reach that milestone. He was a young doctor, relatively new to the practice, but the only one willing to work with her on a payment plan even though she was uninsured. We're proud to be his first long-term AML victory. :)

So yes, I would do the chemo. It did horrible things to Mom--she lost an enormous amount of weight from her already-thin frame, she developed horrible sores in her mouth and elsewhere, she lost her senses of smell and taste for a while, she developed chemo-induced nerve damage that left her with chronic nerve pain, she fought infections, pain, anemia, severe nausea, and extreme fatigue. And yet, she beat a cancer that hardly anybody truly defeats. Not only did she eventually get to hold her grandson, she also got to watch him grow up. I am grateful every day that he's had this chance to know and love her on his own. Even if we lose her now, he'll have those real, precious memories of her forever.

Sure, it's hell on wheels when you're going through it, but the payoff is unbelievable if it works, and for me, MORE than worth the cost.

[greenbriar]

80. thank you for all the replies

certainly have given me some great things to think about and to maybe help

[Art_from_Ark]

83. I would take it as a challenge

to see how far I could make it without chemo.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

84. I don't know; but it doesn't matter...

It's your friend's decision to make. I hope his family comes to terms with their disappointment and takes the time to enjoy his presence while he's here.

:hug::hug::hug:

[Heidi]

85. My dad has Stage IV liver cancer, and he's doing chemo to extend his life for a few months.

Aside from the cancer, he's a very, very healthy guy, and has been having chemo since early March. So far, the only side effect he's had is fatigue. Overall, his quality of life still is very good.

I think buying extra time with family is the primary reason my dad's going the chemo route.

Whether an adult should accept or refuse medical treatment is a very, very personal decision; a person who's already sick should not be "guilted" one way or another, in my opinion.

[Raine]

86. No, especially not after seeing my mother

suffer thru it. My mother did it for my father, brother and myself and I'm sorry I didn't encourage her to just enjoy what was left of her life without all that excess suffering from the chemo.

[DireStrike]

87. Nope.

I'd borrow some money and go explore. Drop where I fall. Bring some pain meds I guess.

[proteus_lives]

88. It's a hard situation.

His family doesn't want him to die. They're scared.

He's started on a journey that few of us can understand.

I feel for his family but I'd stand by him.

I wouldn't go for chemo either. Just 6 months of puking your guts out. I'd cash out my insurance and head to Vegas for a last hurrah.