Sarah Palin Support Thread (and Misplaced Righteous Indignation Bin!)

yoyossarian

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Mon Jun-15-09 12:10 PM
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Sarah Palin Support Thread (and Misplaced Righteous Indignation Bin!)

Edited on Mon Jun-15-09 12:11 PM by yoyossarian

I'm tired of all these "Support David Letterman" threads...

According to Wikipedia,

"David Michael Letterman (born April 12, 1947)is an American television host, comedian, and co-owner of Rahal Letterman Racing. He is the host of the Late Show with David Letterman, a late-night talk show broadcast on CBS. Letterman has been a fixture of United States late night television since his 1982 debut on Late Night with David Letterman; only Johnny Carson, one of Letterman's idols, has had a longer late-night hosting career.

Letterman is also a television and film producer; his company Worldwide Pants produces his late-night show and the show that follows his on CBS, The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson. Worldwide Pants has also produced several prime-time comedies, the most successful of which was Everybody Loves Raymond, currently in syndication."

As any fool can plainly see, David Letterman is a big boy who really doesn't need our support. He's doing just fine. Everybody Loves Dave.

In stark contrast, Sarah Palin is the first female governor of Alaska and the youngest person elected governor of that state. Her extreme youth is apparent in her current ridiculous posturings of outrage and feigned deep indignation and injury concerning a mild joke made by Letterman about one of her daughters (NOT the 14-yr-old), as well as other recent imbecilic gaffes and ass-hat antics, such as accepting the Republican vice-presidential nomination in 2008, despite the fact that the only real notable qualification she possessed for such high office was the mythic (and yet-unsubstantiated, though widely believed) story of her having strangled a moose with her bare hands, on a mere whim, when she was not yet out of high school.

Some critics believe that the 2008 GOP VP nomination was in fact just an elaborate sophomoric prank gone horribly awry, played upon Palin by well-intended but very, very drunk junior members of Harvard's infamous Skull & Bones Society; but others insist that the nomination was in fact genuine from the git-go. Conservative pundits and friends point to the fact that, in 1984, Palin won the Miss Wasilla Pageant, then finished third in the 1984 Miss Alaska pageant, at which time she won a college scholarship and the "Miss Congeniality" award. They also repeat the moose-strangling incident as further proof that Sarah Palin was chosen by the GOP for both her pretty face AND her demonstrated maniacal ruthlessness towards other living beings on this planet (there remains the remote possibility that "strangling the moose" is merely a euphemism).

Whatever the case, it should be evident to anyone with even just a tiny bit of brain matter that Sarah Palin was an odd singularity, a recent flash-in-the-pan who is already a footnote in history, a laughing-stock at best and at worst a stern reminder of the folly of vain-glorious youth with too much energy and not nearly enough awareness of life as it is commonly experienced by others. This is a woman who cannot even accurately account her own children's ages; her 14-year-old is actually 15! This is a fading beauty queen who named her first child Track ("Because I always liked track and field sports") and her last child Trig ("Because math is HARD!") She opposes same-sex marriage and supported a non-binding referendum for an Alaskan constitutional amendment to deny state health benefits to same-sex couples. Palin has called herself "as pro-life as any candidate can be"--but oddly, she made this statement while killing another moose, this time with a concrete block.

She is now 45, and the bloom is fast coming off the rose. The ubiquitous Palin "wink" is becoming a nervous tic, and it won't be long before she begins to resemble Jerri Blank of Strangers With Candy--at which point even John McCain will begin to deny he EVER said, "Yeah, I'd hit that!"

David Letterman is doing just fine. It is Sarah Palin that needs and deserves all the support she can get.
And we're not talking campaign contributions here. We're talking lots and lots of counseling, and, very likely, librium.

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