Memo for lurking cops: How NOT to run a prostitution sting

[jmowreader]

And tho it's been said many times, many ways, that there are lots of prostitutes at truck stops, I have not found this to be the case--especially if you park your truck at Pilot truck stops like I do. Many of our drivers like to park at other brands of truck stops, and this is where my story begins.

I got a message on my Qualcomm: go to a particular truck stop in Houston, swap trailers with another driver and take his trailer to Missouri. No problem, happens all the time. I got there, parked, fired off my Arrived at Final Stop and Empty Call messages and waited for the other driver to arrive. He arrived, parked and we switched trailers.

While I'm hooking up my air lines, a very pretty woman approached my truck. She's got perfect hair, perfect makeup, a beautiful new black leather bustier, stiletto heels...you know, someone's exact conception of what a high-dollar prostitute should look like. I do NOT want to talk to this woman. All I want to do is get my trailer's air system charged, do all my pre-trip checks and get back on the Interstate. But nooooo...she decides to strike up a conversation.

"Hi, driver! How's it going?" Very polished, like a fine Southern belle.

'Oh, just fine. So...how long have you been a cop?'

Her mouth fell wide open. "How'd you know?"

'Because you look WAY too nice to make anyone think you've got to walk around a truck stop trying to pick up twenty-dollar tricks.' Big smile.

So...if you really want to run a prostitution sting that will result in Actual Arrests, send your officers to the nearest truck stop to at least see what a lot lizard looks like, 'kay?

[47of74]

1. If it was me I'd probably make a rather tasteless comment about how if they...

...actually wanted to make arrests their undercover girls would need to look like Ann Coulter.

[Stevenmarc]

2. Ann Coulter? She look like a praying mantis and that doesn't end well.

[47of74]

6. No kidding, my nether regions burn - and not in a good way - just from hearing her voice

[jmowreader]

13. Yeah, there are quite a few freepers with Class A CDLs

I have recently been out with my trainer. We drove teams for the last two weeks we were together. When I drove the truck I left the radio off as I figured he needed his sleep. When he drove the truck he listened to Faux News on his Sirius radio. (Memo to self: Don't buy a Sirius radio. Part of my subscription fees would go to that pack of liars, and I don't want that to happen.)

He won't be a trainer to anyone else, though; he tore a hole in the trailer by hitting a concrete pump, almost rolled the truck by dropping the tandems into a 2-foot-deep ditch, almost hit a forklift, almost hit the side of Heineken USA's warehouse, shifted gears while crossing railroad tracks about eight times...just because he's a freeper is no reason to remove his wise leadership from the training population, but being the menace of the highways certainly is.

[Shagbark Hickory]

3. I guess times are that bad that

they have to resort to such petty entrapment to keep their officers on payroll.
I wonder if there was a class at the police academy on how to dress like a $2 whore.

[jmowreader]

15. If there was, she was on sick call that day

Actually, there's no reason to have a CLASS on dressing like a two-bit floozy.

Most large trucking companies are anti-lot-lizard, in part because truckers have been killed by them. If a police department were to call a trucking company and say something like, "we'd like to have an officer sit in one of your trucks tonight and observe the truck stop parking lot," they'd get cooperation. I'd do it...just make sure she's registered as a passenger on my truck, because that's a DOT regulation. A lot of drivers take their wives on the road, so a woman in the cab wouldn't raise any suspicions.

[XemaSab]

4. When you described how she looked I was thinking "yeah right"

I would guess 20 lbs over/underweight, jeans, and a t-shirt would be MUCH more likely.

[Boojatta]

5. Didn't Madoff offer rates of return WAY too nicely consistent?

Perhaps you can spot an offer that's "too good to be true", but there are likely others who cannot. Also, isn't it good for the police to catch potential johns while all indications suggest that they have never been actual johns?

(For the logic impaired who are ready to take vicarious offense, I probably ought to point out that if we assume that all actual johns have street smarts with respect to recognizing decoy prostitutes, then we cannot necessarily conclude that all people who have such street smarts are actual johns.)

[jmowreader]

11. While all actual johns don't have street smarts in this field...

all actual truck drivers know what an actual lot lizard looks like.

And with this I present to you...the Guide to Spotting Actual Lot Lizards!

1. Real lot lizards don't look like high-class hookers. Anyone who seeks class and refinement in every aspect of his life is NOT driving a tractor-trailer.
2. Real lot lizards wear shoes that enable you to get the hell out of the way of a driver who's looking out the side window of his truck more than he's looking through the windshield.
3. Real lot lizards solicit business by getting up on the fuel tank steps and knocking on the window. (Or as an ex-driver who runs the shipping department at a paper-plate plant in Detroit told me, "don't buy no pussy dat don' knock on de window, man.") EVERY driver knows lot lizards knock on the window. They teach you this in school.
4. Real lot lizards like drugs an awful lot, and it shows in their appearance.
5. As with all popularly-priced prostitutes, lot lizards get slapped around.

A police officer who's really good with theatrical makeup could simulate the appearance of being a drug user. She could wear sensible shoes and clothes suitable for walking around a parking lot all night, and she could even go to the police department's boxing ring and have another officer put a few bruises on her just to heighten the effect. But she can't climb up on the fuel tank and pound on the window--that's entrapment. (Note to DU women whose husbands are truckers: the most lot lizard-proof tractor on the market is the International ProStar because the handrail you use to get up on the fuel tank is in the cab; you've got to open the door before you can use it.) And that's the surest way to tell the difference between a real hooker and a decoy.

Oh, don't get me wrong: I see cars parked in the truck parking areas all the time. The men in those cars very well could get busted if they're stupid enough to deal with these ladies. However, the real prizes are in those cabs--the commercial drivers they WANT to bust, since every time you arrest a truck driver you're free to go through his logbook and inspect his brake system, which is where the real money is made.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

7. Some guys are soooo horny, they still can't resist

Most undercover officers in vice stings look straight out of a porn film, and usually one from the Ginger Lynn era.

[MrsBrady]

8. that's funny and makes me wonder...

When I was single, I used to live in the eclectic part of Dallas, old East Dallas, just a few blocks away from downtown...the kind of neighborhood that has old historic homes next to crack houses, next to immigrant apartment buildings next to gas stations next to 1930's duplex frame houses, next to a church, next to a halfway house, next to a new condominium building, etc...

I used to live at an intersection where one block over from me, people would by drugs or prostitute or both...you could tell, it seemed pretty obvious. Haggard looking men and women would congregate there. They clearly had been using for quite a while.
One time, I even had to shoo away a couple who were trading...well, favors, behind our laundry room. The woman and, well, the man too, wouldn't have won any beauty contests...clothes dirty, and frankly they looked pretty bad off. She was hanging out all over the place with her too tight clothes.

One day I was in my car on my way home, just one block away. It was in the middle of the afternoon.
I noticed a woman dressed kind of like the way you described. She wasn't standing at the right corner, though...she was two blocks over too far in the historic homes section.
I knew immediately that she was a prostitute.
I actually stopped my car. (Now that I think about that..not sure WHY? I stopped to talk to her. Maybe I felt sorry for her.)
I was polite, but I said something to her like...um...excuse me, maam...you know, if you are looking for...um...some friends...you might want to think about Fitzhugh and Bryan two blocks over...you're at Live Oak and Swiss (historic homes section)...these folks will probably call the cops if you hang out here. But..um you look more dressed up than most of the ladies I see around here. You might want to try to blend in. Or maybe go somewhere else.
She didn't even bat an eye at me, and she said..."really? ok, thanks."

Now that I think about it...makes me wonder if she was what you encountered. Maybe she was undercover? Who knows? :shrug:

Funny. I hadn't thought about that in years.

[Sen. Walter Sobchak]

9. I think I offended an undercover cop a few years ago

I guess this chick was so deep into her persona that she seemed sincerely offended as after following me for a block I used some extremely inappropriate language to express my lack of interest. I assume it was a cop because I think a real hooker might have taken the rejection and language a little more in stride. Usually the worst a really pushy hooker will do is call you a fag and bother somebody else.

[BlooInBloo]

10. Fail.

[janx]

12. This is gross. n/t

[UTUSN]

14. Oh, I don't know. Two contrasting views:

1) When my ship was enroute from Vietnam for R&R in the Philippines, we stopped in Hong Kong. In the world class business district, at intervals of half blocks or so, there were these ladies VERY elegantly dressed in black, tailored business type suits (women's tailored suits), and high heels, the works. One every half block or so. There was classiness and mystery about them. Finally we asked who they were. We were told they were prostitutes.

2) Then at the other extreme, in other places, there were these flashily dressed working girls, livelier, more trend oriented, and one of their trademarks was slip-on high heels, backless. Flash forward about 15 years to an office workplace setting. One year the secretaries and clerks started featuring BACKLESS HIGH HEELS. Talk about changing paradigms!1 If they only knew what a different meaning I was receiving in their fashion statement!1

[armyowalgreens]

16. I smell entrapment.

What a bunch of bullshit.

[Pool Hall Ace]

17. One only has to watch the cop shows on truTV to know what an actual hooker looks like.

Most of them appear to need a hot shower, a good meal, some dental care, and a stint in rehab. No porno-looking babes at all!

[arcadian]

18. Pair a blue jeans and a sweat shirt.

Hair messed up a little, half drunk but not wasted, a story how she got into a fight with her boyfriend and needs a ride, then when she gets in your vehicle and you are down the road a ways, "Hey, so you looking to have a good time tonight? I'm looking to have a god time". I've picked up a few by accident, they were "hitch-hiking".

[AnotherDreamWeaver]

19. So, did you show her where she could find God?

[Poll_Blind]

20. That was...uncanny! n/t

PB