Review of Elizabeth Edwards' book: "Beautiful," "Surprisingly deep," "Powerful"

[liberalpragmatist]

From an LAT review of Elizabeth's book, Resilience putting a lie to the belief that this book is simply her seeking revenge on her husband and Rielle Hunter.

BOOK REVIEW
'Resilience' by Elizabeth Edwards
The wife of the former presidential candidate has endured the death of a child, cancer and her husband's infidelity.

By Scott Martelle
May 8, 2009

Let's face it. Most people who pick up this short but surprisingly deep memoir by Elizabeth Edwards, the wife of former presidential candidate John Edwards, are looking for one thing and one thing only -- the dirt on his infidelity with videographer Rielle Hunter. And it's here, though sparingly. In fact, the strength of this book lies in how little of it actually has to do with John Edwards' caddish behavior.

...

Despite initial media accounts of "Resilience"... and the much-talked about Oprah interview Thursday, Edwards' battle with cancer and Wade's death dominate the new book, even more so than her 2006 memoir, "Saving Graces: Finding Solace and Strength From Friends and Strangers." "Resilience," in fact, can be viewed as a coda to "Saving Graces" -- a meditation on her life after learning about her husband's affair and the resurgence of her cancer.

...

Edwards' emotions are still raw after all these years, and the pain screams out, stretching the meditation on her son's death a bit thin. "Get on with things," you think as you read. But that's Edwards' point -- she really can't get on with things. "I don't have to bury the memory to accept that I have buried the boy," she writes. She borrows another metaphor. To continue to live, she must adjust her sails, so she does, her life carried off in a different direction.

And she writes unsparingly about her "gift" to John Edwards -- forgiveness -- but also about the slow rebuilding of three decades of trust that vanished with the affair... "All I wanted was my life back," she writes. "I didn't like this new life story; I wanted my old one. It felt so much like after Wade died -- I wanted to turn back time so we could avoid the wind, avoid the woman, avoid the pain. Open a drawer and find my life again. But I would open a drawer and find my new reality instead. . . . I would look at a happy family picture and break down. I tried to write and could not. Even now it is hard to put it into words."

But she managed and, in places, beautifully... It's a small book but a powerful one. And when you finish it you have not just a deeper understanding of Elizabeth Edwards but also a better appreciation for the strength of will it can take to survive.

Link.

[Big Blue Marble]

1. I am disappointed that so many here are so quick

to judge this woman so harshly. She is attempting to pick up the pieces of her life while facing her illness and all most certain death
all in the public arena.

It is so easy to criticize and condemn. I would wish others would offer her the compassion that she deserves. Like all of us she is far
from perfect, but she is a beautiful person all the same.

[depakid]

2. What I think people have trouble with is the public airing of dirty laundry

[karynnj]

3. How can you read some of this without laughing at the reviewer?

I mean - come on - "she writes unsparingly about her "gift" to John Edwards -- forgiveness" Forgiveness that includes saying to the world in answer to whether you still love your husband, "It's complicated"? In going on show after show speaking on each about the cad he was?

I saw only a snippet before I couldn't take any more. I heard only the questions about Rielle's baby. When asked about the photo of him holding the baby taken at the hotel - she argued when Oprah suggested that it was unlikely he would be holding a baby who was not his that this is what politicians do. Now, a hotel room with and admitted mistress after midnight is NOT a 4th of July where a politician takes a baby and and holds it as the proud parents smile.

He comment then that if the baby is his, it is part of his life, not hers was pretty cold.

[knitter4democracy]

4. Cold but most likely true.

Hunter will have full custody, I'm sure, and so visitation will be limited for a baby still so young. John will do that himself, most likely, so that Elizabeth doesn't have to be there with him and his ex together. And, realistically, how much longer does she have?

I'm betting they're living fairly separate lives at this point.

[Inspired]

5. Cold? I say more power to you, Elizabeth.

I hope she stays strong and lets John carry his own burdens. She owes that woman and her baby nothing.

[karynnj]

6. You mean the possible step sister of her own children?

I easily see that she should not want anything to do with the mother, but the baby, if John's, is closely related to her kids.

[EFerrari]

9. And so? Human beings are all closely related to each other but

that doesn't mean we invite them all into our lives.

[karynnj]

18. This is a half sibling - not someone related to you through

some many century past common ancestor. If it is John's kid, this is someone he should spend some time with. I assume Elizabeth would prefer that time not be with the mom. That would typically lead to him having her some weekends. Now, I know he could spend that time away from home - but, that would take him from his other kids.

PS He doesn't have a responsibility - or likely future visitation rights - for all the vaguely related people.

This is an ugly situation, but abandoning your child is not praiseworthy.

[EFerrari]

26. When and if it's established that this kid is John's,

the Edwards have some choices. It's their choice.

[grace0418]

13. Not step, but half-sister. They are blood relations. And

I agree with you.

[EFerrari]

14. A child of a rapist is also a blood relation. What does that have to do with it?

And the test results aren't even in yet.

[karynnj]

19. You do realize that the child of a rapist would live with the mother who was the victim

and would most certainly know his/her half siblings and their father, who legally would be it's father too - though not biologically. (I assume you are assuming the rapist is not the husband.)

[EFerrari]

23. My point is, this isn't about DNA but about a woman making a choice.

I support that choice and her right to make it.

[grace0418]

21. Look, I'm totally in Elizabeth's corner. But my feeling is that was

something she said in anger. I think eventually she'd see that the child isn't at fault in this. And then she'll give her children the opportunity to decide for themselves whether or not they want to meet and have a relationship with their half-sibling (if the test results come back proving Edwards is the father). I personally know a woman who's husband of many years cheated and left her. It was awful. But, eventually, all the children involved were able to develop close relationships. She saw past her hurt to realize that the children shouldn't be made to suffer because of the adults. And I applaud her for her willingness to do that.

[EFerrari]

24. I understand the situation very well. My father had two families.

How Elizabeth manages this is up to her and I'm sure she will do the right thing according to her lights.

[rvablue]

27. That analogy is absolutely ridiculous.

Even though EE still insists they slept together once, the fact of the matter that since Hunter was on the campaign trail with JE, it was an ongoing relationship, whether sexual or not and a very friendly one as evidenced by the back and forth on those videos of JE and Hunter.

And EFerrari, have you had a peak at the photo of the 1-year-old yet? I know it might not be pleasant for you, but please do. The image of the tot leaves little to be skeptical about the paternity of the child.

[EFerrari]

28. Well, no, the comparison is not ridiculous at all

unless you are arguing that DNA makes your choices for you. It's absolutely up to Elizabeth what kind of relationship if any at all she wishes to have with children born outside her marriage.

And EE doesn't insist any such thing.

The paternity of the child doesn't interest me in the least. In fact, I find it utterly disgusting that paternity is ever used to attack anyone. You'd think we'd be less stupid and more supportive of any parent anywhere in their relationship to their child. Edit to add: There are no orphans in wild dog packs. You'd think we could do as well as wild dogs.

[karynnj]

17. I stand corrected - I never get those words right

:blush:

[Inspired]

15. Yes, that is exactly what I mean.

This is John's problem and will be his burden.

[karynnj]

20. That is unbelievably naive

If the baby is his - where should he spend the time with the baby? With Rielle? I bet Rielle would like that. Or, do you feel that this innocent child should be abandoned by her father because her existence hurts Elizabeth.

[mzmolly]

8. Rielle Hunter

was pretty cold IMO.

I just read this again and wanted to barf right along with Elizabeth.

http://www.nypost.com/seven/08112008/news/nationalnews/how_dare_that_brazen__floozy__123906.htm

I took EE's remarks to be more about deciding what's healthy for her to embrace? She essentially said if the child is John's, it's his issue. I can't say what I'd do, but if I had a limited time left on earth I may decide to prioritize in a like manner?

[MonteLukast]

10. She makes me ashamed to like anything New-Age.

Apparently she was totally into Eckhart Tolle-- whose books have always left my brain feeling as if had injected three tons of sugar directly into my brain. Even I must admit to being almost soothed by her words describing John, here... until I remembered it was all purely to position herself as Elizabeth's replacement.

I've never been fond of "The Secret" either, and I wonder if she was into that, too-- whispering in John's ear about how Elizabeth "lacked the power of attraction". :puke:

[EFerrari]

11. What a horrible person. n/t

[Heidi]

22. Article: "What Rielle Hunter Told Me," Newsweek, Aug. 18-25, 2008 issue.

Very interesting first-person account.

http://www.newsweek.com/id/151783

[mzmolly]

7. Happy to give this the fifth recommendation.

:kick:

[Triana]

12. I will not judge this woman - at least not harshly....

...all she's been dealt - the death of a child, cancer, and a wandering, egotistical husband - I can't judge her about any of it - anything she says or does in the face of it. Because if I had to deal with all this, I doubt I'd do as well as she is.

More power to her. I'll probably buy her book.

[Hepburn]

16. So how many have walked in her shoes?

Death of a child...
Terminal cancer...
Cheating spouse?

Whatever she needed/wanted to say? Just fine with me.

JMHO

[roguevalley]

25. my family is intensely close and I lost an aunt, an uncle and my parents

themselves ten months apart. There is nothing worse than having the safety of your life ripped apart by something out of the blue. You go along and then its over. you can't find it anywhere. I identify with her remarks about wanting her life back and looking for it everywhere. walk in her shoes and then speak.