Many of us here at CNET harbor dreams of leading secret lives as masked superheroes, protecting the public from evildoers. A nagging feeling some would call "common sense" prevents us from living the dream. Luckily, we can all rest easy knowing that our streets are now protected by a motley crew of pseudo-heroes known as The Allegiance.
The team owes its Internet notoriety to a short profile that a Cincinnati local news station aired on one of its members, intimidatingly named Shadow Hare--check out his MySpace page. A 21-year-old man (I'll believe it when I see it) from Milford, Ohio, Shadow Hare claims his Allegiance of Heroes reaches all across the country, with masked vigilantes each protecting their respective cities. There's Aclyptico in Pennsylvania, Wall Creeper in Colorado, Master Legend in Florida, and Mr. Extreme in California.
Let's just pause for a second to marinate and comment on what's going on here. The first thing these guys need, judging from the video, is a super gym membership with a super personal trainer on the side. Plenty of comic book characters don't actually have super powers, Batman being the most popular, but the difference here is that he makes up for it with intense physical and psychological training and gadgets unobtainable by the public--therein lies the mystique, that not just anyone can be a superhero.
These guys, on the other hand, just look gross. Come on, guys! Your Spandex uniforms are loose in all the wrong places, you've reduced your handy gadgets down to Tasers and handcuffs, and dude, Shadow Hare: you don't even have a car? Good luck briskly strolling down the street, trying to look tough waiting for the bus.
http://news.cnet.com/8301-17938_105-10230158-1.htmlShadow Hare: this is the best Cincinnati's got?