The racist hate mail continues.

[polmaven]

This is distinctly disturbing....Anyone else seen this? I got it this morning.....:puke:

Subject: DIVORCE AGREEMENT BETWEEN PARTIES

DIVORCE AGREEMENT

THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM..

OUTSTANDING.

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion.. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.. But we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya, or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years..

Sincerely,
(Name removed)

Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.

[Mari333]

1. sounds like this kid needs to enlist. nt

[BOSSHOG]

2. Dear Law Student

Actually we will continue to do our best to take care of minorities in our country and since you are such an incredible minority now a days you and yours will get the best from us. Even though you don't deserve it with that nasty assed fake patriot attitude of yours.

[no_hypocrisy]

31. and didn't the law student see dozens of flaws in the premises according to constitutional law 101?

[flakey_foont]

3. sounds good to me

they take the rednecks, Walmart, greedy capitalists, etc


it's a deal!

but, on second thought, that is one of the stupidest, wankeriest, ass-holic emails ever

[Tangerine LaBamba]

4. Yeah, sure, a law student - a "kid" - wrote this -

Right.

How come these things - if they're so proud of their work - never have a name attached to them?

I mean, doesn't pride of authorship enter into this?

Or is the writer just ashamed of his idiotic views and doesn't want anyone to trace them back to him?

Ah, anonymity. It's a beautiful thing, and it makes weasels so very, very brave ....................

[polmaven]

11. Actually, there was a name...

I removed it when I posted.....out of consideration to him. Y'know...being the bleeding heart Marxist that I am.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

15. Why?

And what proof do you have that it's a legitimate name?

I believe nothing on these Internet(s) tubes ..........................

[polmaven]

19. I don't have proof...

I just was not comfortable keeping the name.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

22. I understand,

but it was circulated with a name. Clearly, anonymity is not a concern of the author.

[YOY]

13. How many "kids" know who the fuck Jane Fonda or Barbara Streisand are?

And if they do...think of them as paragons of the left and bitch about them CONSTANTLY.

Totally not written by a young person.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

18. Indeed ...........

Kids today - and when I write stuff like this, I feel so damn old, and I just start hating these youngsters with everything I've got (not really) - don't even have a clear idea of what happened in Vietnam. They can't find it on a map, and they sure as hell couldn't tell anything about why it happened or even WHEN it happened.

Plus, he misspelled Streisand's first name...................

[YOY]

20. My money still says that this "kid" is most likely not a "kid"

I could be wrong.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

26. Not only that,

but this "kid" has never seen the inside of a law school.

[YOY]

28. I am sure "grouchy aging white middle management dittohead with no life"

wasn't the title he dreamed about when he was a kid...

[Tangerine LaBamba]

30. Are you kidding?

He never DREAMED he'd rise up to "middle management."

He'd have gone further, you know, but that damn Affirmative Action thing ........................

[YOY]

33. You're right...damn that Tyrone and his fancy college education!

Taking Freeply's hardly earned promotion! And after 30 years of showing up and standing around the coffee cooler bitching about the liberals destroying America to "less informed collegues" you'd think those commie bastards would know how better!

[Tangerine LaBamba]

36. And girls!

Don't get him started on girls, you know, the ones who bang their way around to get those choice jobs.

What chance does a fat guy in a polyester shirt that gaps at the buttons have?

I mean, really?

[YOY]

39. Those bitches need their legs on the ground and must go back in the kitchen to get him a sandwich!

and stop calling pointing out those "freedom bulges" in his 10 year old shirt! You know liberals put chemicals in the Natty Lite to make hard working patriotic Americans overweight!

[Tangerine LaBamba]

44. "No, I'm not afraid of my wife,

and so what if my kids don't talk to me? You know how kids are."

[Tangerine LaBamba]

32. Better yet -

there's a Shirley McLaine reference.

Yeah, today's young people just worship Shirley, don't they?

[MindPilot]

49. Spelled her name wrong too.

Don't these shitheads know how to look up ANYTHING?!

[Tangerine LaBamba]

50. Well, DUH!

If they knew how to look things up, they wouldn't be shitheads, would they?

And, if we didn't have shitheads, who would we mock?

They do serve a purpose..............

[Touchdown]

58. He also spelled Barbra wrong too.

The second "a" is never in Streisand's name.:rofl:

[vinylsolution]

5. Conservative students.

If ever there was a group that needed to enlist and be shot at, it's them.





F*cktards, all of 'em.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

14. Conservative Students aka Business majors who are going to work in Daddy's firm.

And, consider Ayn Rand to be a noted philosopher.

[YOY]

16. That one claims to be a "law student".

Yes, he may be going on to work in Daddy's company...which may or may not be large...but it's still Daddy's.

[lunatica]

6. It's a tempting proposition isn't it?

Would that we could give them what they want, but they won't be needing the police, firefighters or military since they don't want to pay taxes. They can have Blackwater (Xe) since they're a private guns for hire mercenaries who will get the job done no matter how many bystanders they have to kill.

they can have Rush, Sean and all those gals, Milkin, Coulter, Bachmann, Sarah, et al, but they must promise to keep them.

[YOY]

7. "Law Student and an American"

Yeah sure you mean 60+ white asshole with no family or concept of economics.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

25. This alleged "law student" sure is an example

of an epic fail since he clearly doesn't understand that concept of due process or free speech.

This is a law student, and I'm the Queen of France.

Wait.

I AM the Queen of France..................

[bluesbassman]

8. A mind is a terrible thing to waste. n/t

[indigo32]

9. so far divoriced from reality

it's amazing

[EOTE]

10. Wow, a republican utopia.

We hate taxes, so we're gonna get rid of them. But of course the military, cops and fire departments will continue to work for free because they just love red america soooo much. If this douche were any less intelligent, his brain would have collapsed while writing this. There are dozens of other ridiculous points of stupidity in this worthless piece of crap, but is it really worth debunking?

[polmaven]

17. How about the one

that health care is a privilege, not a right? Ugh!1!!11! They get uglier every day.

[Phoebe Loosinhouse]

12. This or a slight variation has been circulating for months with different attributions

I thought it was supposed to be from an Iraqi War Vet.

[Creena]

21. My neighbor left this on my doorstep last week.

It's getting old.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

34. What?

Someone took the time and made the effort to print this up and leave it on your doorstep?

You have an odd neighbor.

Oh, and welcome to DU!

:hi:

[Creena]

38. Thanks for the welcome.

And, yes, my neighbors are odd. It's not the first time they've left crap on my door. They tout themselves as the pinnacle of morality and take any opportunity to remind of me of this fact, even though they're the complete opposite. They left Saddleback Church because it wasn't conservative enough for their tastes. They're proud members of Free Republic. You know the type...bunch of hypocrites.

[KharmaTrain]

23. This Won Second Place In The GOOP Talking Point Contest

He got a full expenses paid trip to a John McCain rally.

The winner was a monkey waterboarding a cat:

[hfojvt]

24. How is it racist?

Plus, I think there was something similar from 2006.

Okay, I cannot seem to find anything before February 2009.

[polmaven]

48. I find it racist only

because of the obvious A**hole who wrote it. It is almost a certainty, in my mind at least, that someone this clueless has to be racist as well....probably homophobic too.

[WeDidIt]

27. Talk about your entitlements

Most of the shit he wants to take was paid for by the blue states.

[nxylas]

29. Dividing the country up by land mass

Gonna be generous and assume that Rush is telling the truth when he says he has 14 million listeners, even though he obviously isn't. Those 14 million represent the maximum extent of the taxophobic, teabagging racist right. I don't believe there's ANYONE in that demographic who doesn't listen to Rush. The people who listen to Rush, the people who watch Fox News, the people who buy Ann Coulter's books - a Venn diagram of those groups would just be a square with a single circle in it. So by my calculations, they would get California and we would get the other 49 states. Sorry, California, but your land area represents roughly the same percentage of the US land mass that the teabaggers do of the US population. It's nothing personal.

DISCLAIMER: I suck at math, so my calculations may be completely wrong.

[KamaAina]

35. Well, at least he's letting us keep Shirley McClain and Barbara Streisand

whoever they are. :eyes:

Law student?! :scared:

[MindPilot]

52. Don't worry; "student" is probably as far as he'll ever get. n/t

[RockaFowler]

37. I always wonder

Where are these supposed Liberal Judges?? What's wrong with Humanism?? What's wrong with We are the World or Kumbaya??

This person is saying that they are leaving the Democratic Party - they were never a Liberal or Democrat to begin with. No sane Democrat would ever say that healthcare is a luxury. I know no Democrat who would ever think that way.

[spanone]

40. i'll stick with jane and barbara...chickenshit with no name

i bet he's a big fan of judge bybee's

[Phoebe Loosinhouse]

41. "Healthcare is a luxury not a right" - that's a real winner. I hope that makes it to the platform.nt

[YOY]

42. It always is until you are the one without...

Money says this person has never been without.

[prolesunited]

45. They're hoping repeated often enough

this meme will gain traction.

Health care is a luxury. Poor? You have the right to die.

[tjwash]

43. Dear Clueless Shithead:

So nice of you to send us yet another dispatch from the USS Barcolounger currently stationed in your moms basement.

Personally, I hope you do leave.

Seriously...I really do wish that not only you, but every clueless, backwards-ass shitheel, that has long infected every smaller town from Amarillo to Brownsville and from Helena to Sioux Falls, and has really accomplished little in their pathetic lives, but to wreck the good names of the decent folks that live in them, WOULD get the fuck out of here and create your own little country.

Do you know the money that we could slash out of the national budget, if you parasites if you would make good on your promise? HELL YEAH!! We could slice off a few thousand square miles of unused land, and then pull all of our federal services out of the new country of dumb-fuckistan (which our taxes currently pay), put a giant concrete wall around it, for and see how you "mad-max-thunderdome" types make out.

No more post offices; no more food stamps; no more farm subsidies; no more Medicare or medicaid; no more fancy roads to drive from one god forsaken little town to another; no more funding for your child support offices or social security benefits for your seniors or disabled; no more money for research for your universities or student loans and grants (hee...I'm sure you are currently paying for your school all on your own).

Oh yeah... no more electricity, because we will be cutting your asses off of the national grid. No more water, better find yourself a fucking divining rod and a shitload of shovels to start digging trenches. What...you think you are going to have diesel powered equipment to do that? Tough shit...better start negotiating with the "axis of evil" folks in the middle east to get them to start importing barrels of oil to your sorry asses. I mean give me a fucking break! No more military bases or cushy defense contracting jobs, and no more Houston space center. Back to the good old days of riots & wild west gunfights.

You fucking whiney little hypocrite. Your heroes the multi-national mega corps, international banks, investors, and insurers are masters at sucking at the government tit. You couldn't find a more corrupt bunch of bastards anywhere else in the world.

Fucking tool.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

54. Well. All I can say to that is..................

[ismnotwasm]

46. It's making the mass email rounds

Someone else posted it a couple of weeks ago with a refutation I think.

This is typical freeper Stupid Shit that makes no sense at all

[spanone]

47. law student and an american my ass. this is right-wing bullshit propaganda.

please put up a return email address and let the good liberals at democratic underground respond to this 'student'


i don't find it disturbing, i find it comical

[Towlie]

51. He wants to equitably divide the landmass. At their current numbers, Alaska could be their share.

[reflection]

53. I got this letter from a RW friend two days ago.

I told him he could indeed keep Wall Street and greedy CEOs. Aside from that his screed was complete rubbish. Haven't heard back.

[walldude]

55. I'm sorry this isn't good enough. We need to divide the stuff better

So here we go. We'll keep the scientists, the colleges, and the doctors. You can have the doctors that like make sure torture victims aren't tortured too much. I'm sure they'll take good care of you. I know you think health care is a luxury but doctors take an oath and really your ideology does not fit in with the ideals doctors stand for. You can have the crappy ones.

We'll split the music. You can have Toby and Lee and We'll keep Pink Floyd, The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, Metallica, The Stones, The Who U2, the blues and Motown. We'll keep Neil Young, and Jackson Browne, NiN, and the Foos, Supertramp, Alan Parsons, Deep Purple, Black Sabbath and Ozzy, Earth Wind and Fire and Stevie Wonder, George Clinton and Quincy Jones. We'll throw you a bone from Jersey, we'll keep Springsteen and you can have Bon Jovi.

We'll keep Hollywood as none of you guys have any talent for entertainment anyway. You guys can have Rupert Murdoch but since Matt Groenig and Seth McFarland are commie liberals you'll have to give back the Simpsons and Family Guy. You can however keep American Idol and all your favorite reality shows. You can keep the Cable Guy and Foxworthy but you'll have to toss back Ron White, he's come out as pro pot.

You can keep the greed, Wall Street, corporations and Wal-Mart. You can keep your minium wage with no insurance and no protections and pay your CEO's 400 times what you make. We'll keep the builders, craftsmen and inventors, seeing as they expect to get paid well you're not going to want them anyway. We'll keep the farmers and you can have the corporate farms. You can keep the high fructose corn syrup and we'll take the natural cane sugar. We'll take the organics. You guys can continue to shit where you eat and we'll take all the solar and wind power and all the alternative energy companies.

Oh and you want cars? Sorry they are made by union workers. You can have foreign cars made by non-union employees.

Oh and you can't keep the history or the flag. You need to know history if you want to keep it. Your lkittle teabagging party proved you don't know a thing about your countries history. If you want to revolt against America have some real balls to admit what you are doing. You can live in JesusLand or TexasVille.

You can keep the word NO. We'll keep YES and KNOW.

We'll take the public schools and you can try to afford to send your kids to private schools or home school them.

Well I'm sure there is much more to sort out but we are off to a nice start. Let's get the lawyers on this. :eyes:


Shit! I almost forgot, we get to keep the internet. It was invented by socialist college liberals so you wouldn't want it anyway. Can't wait to see you idiots send this e-mail out with no internet.

[tabbycat31]

61. dont give them Bon Jovi

he's a progressive

[alfredo]

56. They will soon find all the creative minds are in our country,

and all the knuckle draggers in theirs.

[dorkulon]

57. I wanted a divorce years ago. /nt

[Touchdown]

59. This came up on DU before. Somebody said...

"Sounds like a stalker writing you to say that after 30 years, he's moved on."

So classic I had to repeat it. :rofl:

[tabbycat31]

60. this is what it's based on

and I'll keep my Subaru thankyouverymuch.

Dear Red States
Dear Red States -

We're ticked off at the way you've treated California, and we've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the entire Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue; you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs),92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11, and 61 percent of you crazy folks believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.


Sincerely,
Author Unknown in New California.

[Dramarama]

62. I love how stereotypical he makes both parties seem.

[hunter]

63. Divorce? We were never married, asshole. You were never my boyfriend either.

And if I ever see you skulking about and peeking through my windows while you masturbate again, forget the restraining order, I won't call the cops this time, but I may call the paramedics to take you down from the tree branch you got your balls caught in.

[davidinalameda]

64. this has been floating around for a long time