The Five Reasons I am becoming a Republican

[NightWatcher]

1) The installation of an electrified fence along the border or US and Mexico is the only way that we can save our country from the internal collapse that millions of Mexicans, who use our education, welfare, and medicare systems, are actively trying to cause in response for us taking Texas and California in legal wars more than a hundred years ago.

2) Global warming is a conspiracy by the liberal left wing media to get us all to wear short shorts and bright colored tank tops year round so that by dressing as the homosexuals we will be fooled into thinking that there is nothing wrong with that type of lifestyle. If it were up to them, we’d all be wearing ass-less chaps.

3) The homosexual agenda is threatening to educate our children to become tolerant of other people and practices. There will be no tolerance in my United States of America.

4) I also believe that flag burning should be punished by execution.

5) I also believe that we should nuke the entire middle east and turn that sand into a glass parking lot. If we don’t do this, they will follow us home and start trying to…..April Fools

[Donnachaidh]

1. ...

:spank: :wow: :spank:

[a la izquierda]

2. wow. you sound like my brother in law.

except he'd like to nuke latin america too. it's a good thing you're kidding. i forgot it's april fools day.

[Catchawave]

3. Oh, and I could be pro-life and support the war !

Not to mention make sure every "pro-life" baby will never have access to proper nutrition, a roof over his head and healthcare.....so I don't have to pay MORE TAXES !

:evilgrin:

[NoAmericanTaliban]

4. This is good. Thanks NightWatcher

Don't forget this reason - 'If a Republican is not president I cannot get into heaven'

[lonestarnot]

5. a glass parking lot

arrrg.

[NightWatcher]

8. isn't that the standard freeper response for everything?

[lonestarnot]

16. yes.

:puke:

[mcscajun]

6. Can you Drive on a glass parking lot?

:spray:

[Turbineguy]

10. Diamond studded tires

very chic. Drive like Paris Hilton.

[Shipwack]

11. Maybe not, but you can strap fatback to your feet...

and go skating...
:)

[cooolandrew]

7. Oh you got me good there well nearly.

[IWantAChange]

9. Funny yet hauntingly accurate of Repuke beliefs

[Kajsa]

12. LOL- You had me going there for a bit--

I was getting all fired up with a big response when

you dropped the ball!

You got me!

:7

[Rock_Garden]

13. You had me hyperventilating for a second. Perfect! n/t

[CaliforniaPeggy]

14. I was REALLY wondering just why this hadn't been locked yet!

Well played, indeed!

:yourock:

:rofl: :rofl:

[mnhtnbb]

15. This should be in DU Lounge with the rest of the April Fool's jokes!