YOU might be a school employee if....

[Are_grits_groceries]

YOU might be a school employee if you believe the playground should be equipped with a Ritalin salt lick.

YOU might be a school employee if you want to slap the next person who says, 'Must be nice to work 8 to 3:30 and have summers off.

YOU might be a school employee if it is difficult to name your own child because there's no name you can come up with that doesn't bring high blood pressure as it is uttered.

YOU might be a school employee if you can tell it's a full moon or if it going to rain, snow, hail.. ..anything!!! Without ever looking outside.

YOU might be a school employee if you believe, 'shallow gene pool' should have its own box on a report card.

YOU might be a school employee if you believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, 'Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.'

YOU might be a school employee if when out in public, you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior.

YOU might be a school employee if you have no social life between August and June.

YOU might be a school employee if you think people should have a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.

YOU might be a school employee if you wonder how some parents MANAGED to reproduce.

YOU might be a school employee if you laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the 'lounge.'

YOU might be a school employee if you encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling and are willing to donate the U-HAUL boxes should they decided to move out of district.

YOU might be a school employee if you think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.

YOU might be a school employee if you can't imagine how the ACLU could think that covering your students chair with Velcro and then requiring uniforms made out of the corresponding Velcro could ever be misunderstood by the public.

YOU might be a school employee if meeting a child's parent instantly answers this question, 'Why is this kid like this?'

YOU might be a school employee if you would choose a mammogram over a parent conference.

YOU might be a school employee if you think someone should invent antibacterial pencils and crayons.. ..and desks and chairs for that matter!

YOU might be a school employee if the words 'I have college debt for this?'
has ever come out of your mouth.

YOU might be a school employee if you know how many days, minutes, and seconds are left in the school year!

http://www.amyoops.com/2009/04/you-might-be-school-employee-if.html

Heh!!

[GKirk]

1. Can I assume that...

...it offends you when people say:

"Must be nice to work 8 to 3:30 and have summers off."

and if so, why?

[Goblinmonger]

2. Because it's not true. n/t

[Staph]

3. You've obviously never known any teachers.

My sisters are at school at 7:00 am, go home at 4:30 pm, and then start working on lesson plans, grading papers, and so forth. And they both take at least one graduate level college course a year.

I work in the corporate world (as a technical trainer!) and I work roughly the same hours, at more than double the salary.

[Maine-ah]

4. and most teachers I know pick up summer jobs

My father did, and many of our local teachers waitress or pick up some other seasonal position during the summers.

[11 Bravo]

6. Mostly because it's pure, unadulterated bullshit.

[GoesTo11]

5. Whoever wrote this shouldn't be a school employee

A lot of people like it. The pay where I live (in the nice burbs) really is excellent - start at 24 and current salaries are mid 80's by age 37 - as good as middle management - plus teachers have absolute job security, get summers off and a lot of sick days, get cola adjustments to salary in addition to longevity raises, and can retire at 80% pension at age 60 or so. and pension. They get to work with kids and do some good. It's a great career but of course it comes with responsibilities and expectations and work. Stop whining and thank your lucky stars!

[Are_grits_groceries]

7. I liked teaching,

but I never worked in the Nirvana you describe nor do I know anyone who did.

[mediaman007]

8. Where do you work to get an 80% pension? You must be an adminstrator!

[Goblinmonger]

9. Mid 80s with what level degree?

Certainly that doesn't come without some level of graduate degree. How does that pay with that level graduate degree compare to what masters degree professionals are making in your nice burbs? Bet it's less. Bet it's a lot less.

I love my job. Never have come to work a day where a dreaded it. But I am underpaid for the work and degree I have.

[GoesTo11]

12. Mid 80s with M+30.

Here is an upscale suburb (White Plains NY) and its salary scale:

http://jd2718.wordpress.com/2008/03/10/teacher-pay-scale-white-plains-ny/

2 years ago, M+30, step 13 paid 93k.

Keep at it, keep taking the summer classes, step 20, M+60 paid $116k.

Pension = (avg of last 3 years pay) x (years of experience) x (age - 40)/10, so if you start at age 24 with masters, take 1 3-credit course per year, you are right on that pay scale, and you retire at age 62 with 80% of your salary.

Other upscale suburbs pay well, although not this well. Lots of large city systems (LA, NYC, Boston, ???) pay quite well also.

You can also find low salaries in places like Oklahoma, but these salaries here are definitely not just good but great jobs. Teachers unions have just developed a reflex to always say all teachers are underpaid. They're not, this is quite good professional compensation. In an upscale suburb, there will be some very wealthy, but also a lot of two income couples where the higher earner has maybe an MBA from a 2nd tier school and is making a little over $100k.

[Goblinmonger]

10. And as to the list, doesn't come across as bitching to me

Just some of the realities we all face. Kind of self-deprecating actually.

[GoesTo11]

13. No one who would say the following should be teaching children

YOU might be a school employee if you believe, 'shallow gene pool' should have its own box on a report card.

YOU might be a school employee if you think people should have a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.

YOU might be a school employee if you wonder how some parents MANAGED to reproduce.

[GoesTo11]

14. dupe

[Democrats_win]

11. Chill. It's just good fun, not to be taken too seriously. It's okay.

These types of lists have been around for a while to show the ironic world we live in. The best one over the years is where they say that you might be a Coloradoan if the bike on top of the car is worth more than the car.

Compare this list of "whining" to the tea baggers. They impeached Clinton, voted for bush and NOW they're whining. Now, THAT just isn't right.