How Not To Be a Douche - A Public Service Announcement

[Toasterlad]

It's been said (with a fair degree of accuracy) that everyone is a member of at least ONE minority. However, I think we all know that some minorities in this country are more "minor" (read: more persecuted) than others. Your prefers-the-toilet-paper-hung-in-underhand-fashion minority is probably not as put-upon as, say, the minority of African-Americans in this country. If none of the minority groups to which you belong subject you to actual prejudice, pain, or danger every day of your life, you might be understandably clueless about what other minorities consider offensive. You might also be wondering how your right to free speech ties in to a meaningful dialog on minority issues. The following example is provided as a baseline for how to discuss sensitive matters in a non-douche manner, even though you do not belong to the minority currently under discussion.

Remember, this is only an example. These techniques can be applied to ANY discussion of ANY minority issue.

Your President appears on national television and makes a non-PC remark about people with disabilities. The next day, there is an outcry on DU from people with disabilities and their care-givers. While you are neither disabled nor personally affected by another's disability, you believe that your President meant no actual harm and that his remark wasn't a big deal. You respond thusly:

A. He didn't mean it, you whiny cry babies! Quit being such drama queens!

B. I heard what he said, and it was no big deal. Nobody should be offended by that.

C. It didn't bother me.

D. I wasn't offended, but I can see how others may have been.

E. Rush Limbaugh was offended, therefore anyone who was offended is a Republican ass-licker!

F. (You remain silent on the issue, knowing that you don't have the right to tell other people how to feel, and aware of the fact that what was said didn't offend you because it didn't directly impact you).

And the results:

A: You are an un-empathetic douche, posting either because you crave attention or because you're generally an asshole. Or both.

B: You are exhibiting douchey behavior, and are apparently unable to separate your own feelings from the feelings of others.

C. You are exhibiting quasi-douche behavior, in that your post could be taken to infer that it shouldn't bother anyone. You can avoid coming off like a douche by qualifying your statement, as in answer D.

D. You are declaring your opinion, while at the same time acknowledging that others may have a valid reason for disagreeing with you. This is excellent non-douche behavior.

E. You're an idiot.

F. You are very, very wise.


Study this example, and you will soon be able to enter into a discussion on minority concerns without coming off like a complete and total douche!

[leftstreet]

1. Isn't 'douche' incendiary?

:popcorn:

[Occulus]

8. I don't know....

The word has so much potential for expressing scorn. 'Douchebaggery' is my personal favorite :D

[Quantess]

10. Some consider it offensive to women. Not me, I use the word frequently.

It isn't recommended for formal speaking events, or for respectable publicatons, but as casual insults go, douche / douchebag pack a punch.

[Toasterlad]

14. I Was Not Offended By My Characterization of Assholish Behavior as "Douchey"...

...but I can see how others may have been.

[dysfunctional press]

18. only if your yeast infection is REALLY bad.

:shrug:

[Captain Hilts]

23. Yes, it's offensive. nt

[undeterred]

25. I find it sexist and demeaning to women.

But the lad has no clue.

[Toasterlad]

26. Please Explain. I'm Willing To Be Educated.

[AllentownJake]

2. My Douche bag take on this entire affair

There are 3 groups

1) People who hate Obama
2) People who are offended by their own shadow
3) People who really want to do something for the disabled community

Of the groups I'm guessing most people fall into the 1 or 2 category.

[Hello_Kitty]

3. Well, I think our President amply demonstrated how not to be a douche

He made an insensitive joke, realized it immediately, and apologized for it. No whining. No defensiveness. No claiming that being offended was "PC". It was refreshing.

[BlooInBloo]

4. Those are good. Is there one for people who take it waaaay to far....

and equate what Obama said to, say, Limbaugh expressing his racism about black quarterbacks? (I.e., using Obama's remark as a convenient opportunity to whine about "reverse racism"?)

EDIT: Douchebaggery CAN go either way, after all.

[ZombieHorde]

5. K&R

[cliffordu]

6. Well....doo shay!!!

[Naturyl]

7. I chose F.

Haven't said a word about it and don't intend to.

[Gwendolyn]

11. Of course you would, you selfish fuck.

And I mean that in the kindest of ways.

[rockymountaindem]

9. I'm wise?

Sweet!

[sandnsea]

12. But fucking in bathrooms is a-ok

This post would be fine from a lot of people. But you? I don't think so.

[Toasterlad]

16. You're Back! How's the Great Pedophile Search Coming Along?

Still checking under the stalls for illicit behavior? You keep at it! America's children must be saved from omnipresent toilet sex! THERE IS NO GREATER DANGER TO OUR COUNTRY!

[JVS]

22. Fucking in the bathroom is very douchey behavior. People are supposed to go to the potty there.

[AlCzervik]

13. My douchebag brings all the boys to the yard.

[fizzgig]

17. ...

:rofl:

[bluesbassman]

15. True douchebaggery is a skill, like anything else.

Few last long enough to attain journeyman status.

[JohnnyLib2]

19. OMG, the OP brought out Beavis and Butthead.

:crazy:

[Dogmudgeon]

20. "How Not To Be a Shower"

Je ne comprends pas ...

:shrug:

--d!

[notesdev]

21. To bidet or not to bidet

that is the question

[TWiley]

24. Cremate me and put the ashes in her douche when I die.

Run me through one more time.