Chuck Norris Facts

[TheCoxwain]

from http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/



If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.



I am adding my own : Chuck Norris can fart with his mouth open and Ass shut .. Please add your own

[DS1]

1. And finally, Chuck Norris is a washed up shit-fer-brains douche

[billybob537]

2. Chuck norris helped Huckabee

win the Republican nomination
oh wait FAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILURE

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

3. Chuck Norris needs to wash his vagina.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=8468124

[schlarmie]

8. THE BEST RESPONSE!!!!!!

[Cheap_Trick]

4. Chuck Norris is a traitor to this country.

[NoPasaran]

5. There is no gravity

Chuck Norris sucks

[Hubert Flottz]

6. Chuck Norris always has meant...

time to change the channel at my house.

[MichaelHarris]

7. Chuck Norris

once got a Bow Flex stuck up his ass by Cristie Brinkley.

[Wilber_Stool]

9. Did you catch this one

yesterday?

Chuck Norris Says Right Wing Cells Will Overthrow the American Government This Friday

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x5219581

[DFW]

10. Norris wants to protect the First Amendment, I heard

The First Amendment permits nut cases like Chuck Norris and Ted Nugent to yell and rant nut cases like Chuck Norris and Ted Nugent. It does not permit them to take up arms against the government. That little action qualifies them as "enemies, domestic," which our elected officials swear to combat when they take their oath of office. Chuck Norris may still know some fancy Kung Fu moves, and Nugent is armed to the teeth, probably with more guns than he has toes and fingers. I'd still put my money on our military to put down any rebellion they might instigate, even if they combined their formidable fighting prowess.

[varkam]

11. Remember the Walker Texas Ranger lever that they used to have on Conan?

:rofl: