The dark structure loomed before and above them mocking silently. Twelve feet from the floor was the first landing and then the ominous turn. There was really no reason it had to veer left as it did for the final ten, or so, feet to the high second floor. In fact the stairs would have neatly ended right at our door had it continued its path straight and true. It was almost as if it was a final signature by an under paid architect. A carefully crafted “Fuck you” to a stingy builder.
“Let’s see you get the beds up to your rooms with this you cheap bastard” a ghost somewhere said.
Undaunted and as if to continue to ride the adrenaline built up from the haul from the van to the house Janus, before the Queen could protest, threw one of the dressers on his right shoulder and started up the steps.
Our furniture, as a rule, is more bulky than heavy per se, but these dressers were old and made of good solid wood, probably rivaling our box spring in weight and unwieldiness. Nania had every intention of helping her nephew and, as I said, protested his impulsiveness fearing for his safety, but the boy wouldn’t hear of it. Nania conceded without a choice as Janus simply continued up the steps with the four foot, fifty-ish pound dresser on one shoulder as if he were carrying a pizza.
Not wanting to fall behind her mighty and apparently highly motivated kin, Nania gathered up some of the smaller bins and toiletry storage containers that actually had to go in before, or soon after the first dresser did and raced up the steps behind him.
His thin legs proved to be made of the same steel rods his arms were and Janus all but sprinted up those steps. Perhaps his thinking was to quicker rid himself of the weight on his arm by running, or maybe he just wanted the exercise? By my wife’s account her jaw was agape during Janus’ first assault on that hill, and she would swear he had the wings of angels at his back.
The beast was mortified and helpless. The turn in his angular body was meant to hinder two people working at the same time. He had no defense for humans that could just grab single large objects themselves. How dare someone with real power try to scale him.
The Staircase creaked defiantly with Janus’ every step as he grabbed the second, even bigger, dresser as he did the first. He paid a bit for his original bravado and he started to feel some strain after the first flight, but Nania, smartly trailing him closely, helped Janus steady himself enough by grabbing one of the dresser’s legs for a second. All the while balancing more freight herself with her other hand.
Meanwhile at the other apartment, I did a bong hit, a pregnant woman boxed DVDs and my dog suddenly peed; perhaps sensing mommy’s temporary peril. I cursed and grabbed the cleaning equipment. Back to story…
On it went for Nania and Janus. Scaling the monster time and time again; deftly flying up the stairs in one bound, or where necessary, resting on the small first landing. The eyes of the walls almost seemed to flare or contract in anger as its brother, the floor, was continuously defiled by these soft, squishy creatures scurrying up and down. Had he still been in the form of the tree from whence he came he would decide to fall upon these rats, extinguishing their annoyance once and for all.
Wood, as a general rule, cannot affect its surroundings as well once it is no longer a tree. No branches or leaves to speak of to let fly or fall onto unwary passersby. Even the little known ability of trees to voluntarily fall in the forest, as long as someone is there to hear it of course, is sadly a lost option to them. They are bound to the house they are built into and the more stringent rules of human physics.
So it was with our beast. It could creak in anger, even shake its banister a bit, loosen a nail here and there or generally “settle” with creepy sounds included, but aside from that it could only watch our assault and hope for a defensive victory. Despite its past defeat with the dressers it had hope as it sighted at its feet, a staircase’s most entertaining sport; a box spring and mattress. It now had design and gravity on its side and the humans would surely falter here.
The frame of the bed was hardly an issue as I was able to disassemble it at home. No small feat actually with bolts and washers that hadn’t been turned in the better part of a decade. The pieces reached the summit easily along with the smaller cargo and were laid out in the bedroom to make sure bringing the rest of the bed up wasn’t already a moot point. It fit well enough so after a couple pulls off of some bottled water, my wife and nephew-in-law, revived, bounded back down for the final and most difficult part of the fight.
TO BE CONCLUDED
-S
Link to Part One <
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x5213823>
Link to Part Two <
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=5219160&mesg_id=5219160>
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