OMFG... $200 plus a day for a live in nanny for the elderly.

[Lost in CT]

I'm helping taking care of my Father for a month or so and am looking into live in help.

So I am getting quotes from eldercare agencies.

First of all the price is nuts... $1500 a week. Thats for a live in mind you so there is no rent no food and a free car.

But the agencies have explained that most of their employees don't drive because they are from foriegn countries and don't have drivers licences which makes them honestly fucking useless. (I need someone to take Dad places)

So driving to doctors appointment and social events ect is extra.

Why are all the employees HB-1???? I have no idea.

I guess Americans won't work for $1500 a week with free rent ect. :sarcasm:

Another Job Americans refuse to do.... Not that I am under the illusion that these workers will see $1500 themselves...

I need someone reputable and trustworthy... but I'm this close to putting in a fucking Craigslist add or moving my girlfriend in and have her do the job.

Why are we importing people into this county to do these jobs to begin with.

It is so fucked up.

[princehal]

1. Is this for an 8 hour shift?

[Lost in CT]

2. Yes eight on, eight off, plus eight sleep... nt

[wackywaggin]

108. Think outside the box!

I bet there are a lot of local community centers and churches that could help you for far less than that amount and at the same time you could be helping a fellow citizen.

[shireen]

3. this is so wrong.

Ridiculous. I really hope you find good care for your dad very soon.

[cynatnite]

4. You'd rather hire someone from craigslist than take someone from an agency...

who probably has been thoroughly checked out?

Actually, for a live-in that's pretty reasonable. My cousin paid almost $2000 a week for someone to be with her mom.

[Hello_Kitty]

15. Where do people get this kind of money?

That's nearly 100K a year!

[Lost in CT]

24. My thought exactly... apparently we are supposed to spend down his assets this

way until he is broke and then the government will pay for it.

[rcrush]

58. Yep thats what they told me to.

Only way government will pay for my dads nursing home care is if we spend everything he owns on his nursing home untill he's broke then they will step in.

[stubtoe]

70. I know, it's horrible. I went through this with my Dad.

Running elders into poverty in order to receive Medicaid, to pay for their care. It's nuts.

Used to be folks could put their assets into a trust, and not have to spend it all down. This ended back in the '90's with the Republican Congress (Newt et al), though, if I recall correctly.

[Xithras]

98. No offense, but what do the infirm elderly need assets for anyway?

If a person is sitting on a tidy sum of wealth built up over a lifetime (be it through investments or merely a paid-off home) and the person is now so infirm that they need constant medical assistance, liquidating those assets is the right thing to do. Why do we save for retirement in the first place? To ensure that we have adequate funds to support ourselves until death once we quit working. The role of government is to step in and assist when a persons assets are insufficient to cover their expenses for the remainder of their life, not to subsidize our retirements so we can pass our accumulated wealth on to our heirs.

[Lost in CT]

100. Well for one thing he is married so they are joint assets.

Needless to say making mom homeless to pay for dad's care is not an option.

[Xithras]

105. Ah. My grandparents divorced for that very reason.

When he was diagnosed with alzheimers, they divorced, he gave her the house, and then named her his medical proxy and granted her power of attorney. That permitted her to keep the house while qualifying him for care.

They continued to live together until he died, but simply terminated the legal portion of their marriage to protect her financially. The only change to their lives was on paper.

It's not the ideal situation, but it's a fairly common practice as I understand. You may want to discuss that option with your parents. If they object to the notion, remind them that marriage is a bond between the two of them, certified by whatever diety they believe in. A judges signature doesn't change that.

[Lost in CT]

111. People should not have to divorce to get affordable elder care. nt

[stubtoe]

115. I agree, it's just wrong. Our society is out of balance when it comes to the elderly and their care

[October]

113. I went through this...

It's a nightmare.

My mom's house, car and all possessions had to be sold. (Car could not be "given" away or sold cheaply to a relative, either! They wanted receipts. Sad, too, because my brother could have used it!!!)

Anyway, all that money from selling her house, etc. went to the nursing home. It was called "spending down." After that period (nightmare) was over, she went on Medicaid.

The saddest thing was that my mom had had a stroke during elective surgery. She couldn't give anything to her children or grandchildren because she would've had to have done that 3 years prior (what they call the "look back" period). How the hell does a person know 3 years in advance that they will be infirm??? She was 60!

She had cognitive losses, but regained most of her memory. I had to remind her of her life story, though initially. She looked at me and asked how many kids she had, and whether or not she was married. It was so painful that she had to relive some of that. Awful. I had to tell her that her wonderful husband had died a few years earlier...and it was devastating all over again as she recalled.

She was paralyzed on one side, and could no longer read.

My mother's family was in deep denial and just wanted ME to do something!!! There was nothing. She couldn't walk, read, or be independent. While she wasn't 90 like most of the others, she couldn't leave either.

I tried to get her into an Assisted Living facility -- but they wanted HUGE "down payments," which they thought would come from the sale of her possessions. Problem was, we'd already done that. She needed nursing care initially because she had a tracheotomy, had to learn how to swallow again, etc., etc. She had recovered a lot, but still needed supervision. The Assisted Living places wanted like $250,000. Not kidding. When I said she was on Medicaid, they were ALL like, "Oh, well we have a few Medicaid beds...but there's a waiting list for people already here..." So my mom was stuck there! We couldn't move her.

PLEASE BE CAREFUL WHERE YOU FIRST PLACE YOUR LOVED ONES! THEY WILL LIKELY STAY THERE.

My mother passed in January, 2008. She spent 5 years in that nursing home and hated it. It was a lot nicer than most -- really, it was -- but still, she hated it. They had RN's on staff and whatnot, and she ended up in the hospital every 3-4 months.

What was most upsetting was the "judgment" passed on me during that time. I had small children and everyone looked at me to do something/everything. They call us the "sandwich generation." Cute, huh? (Not.) Anyway, I had nurses and other so-called professionals telling me that the family usually helped out financially. I was already responsible for setting up haircuts, outings, transportation and supervision to/from doctor appointments. My mom wanted doctor appointments all the time because it was an OUTING. This was hell on me and my family. And one of those Assisted Living places actually said if I could contribute $2,000 a month (!) we might be able to move her into one of their facilities.

Find out all you can. I found out as the process moved along and never felt like I got out in front of it. My mother passed within 5 years, and none of her assets went to her children or grandchildren. Her medical costs would never have equaled what they took!!! And if that's not bad enough, the state just sent us a letter (customary, they say), asking me to state how the last of her money (checking account) was used...because the state has a claim on it.

It is so expensive to die. We paid $300 here, $100 there in the first year since her death. It has been nonstop nickel and dime-ing. And yes, creditors will come after the pennies, too. They're all vultures.

I'm sorry this is so rambling...but I'm trying to get it all out.

Just try to find someone knowledgeable to help YOU through this, too.

[stubtoe]

116. "It is so expensive to die"

So very true. I'm sorry for what you had to go through, it was pretty rough. The hardest part is the expectations of the family that YOU take care of it all.

I could go on too. Hugs to you.

[October]

120. Thank you.

That meant a lot.

Hugs back at 'ya.

[cynatnite]

25. Part of it was her mom's retirement...

she paid a portion with her earnings, too. Money's really tight for them. The lady that lives with them is fantastic. Oh, and my cousin has to travel quite a bit which is why they had to bring someone in. Right now she's in Brazil for a two week job.

[sandnsea]

47. lol, where do you think the agency gets the people

50% of the people in my town are over 60. The "agencies" hire the exact same people you would find on Craig's List.

[90-percent]

5. my take

my 85 year old mom has an in law apartment with a live in companion-nurse. 24 7. very tough way to make a living, if you ask me.

craigslist

worked great for us. you will be in personnel agency mode: lots of calls and interviews.

We got responders even after i realized i better pull the craigslist ad. my impression from this is that there are a tremendous number of people out there looking for any form of work what so ever.

-90% Jimmy

[Raven]

6. Moving your girlfriend in and having her do the job??? Did I get that right?

This is your parent. Why don't you move in? What the fuck is this about?

[Lost in CT]

9. Well for one thing she has worked in an ALF so she has experiance with dementia.

And even if I moved in I would still have to work which means I would still have to hire someone...

Hello....

[Raven]

20. So hire her for a decent wages and don't act like it's a last resort. Hello?

[Lost in CT]

23. She already has a professional job she enjoys. (She is an HR accountant)

Is it a possibility yes.... but it would hardly be a first choice. nt

[Raven]

34. Well then why would you even consider her for the job??? Your

post indicated that you thought she's have to take it if you couldn't find anyone else...who the hell are you to assume that your girlfriend is at your beck and call? Sorry, pal, but this is your problem and you ought to leave the "chattels"in your life out of the solution.

[Lost in CT]

42. Where do you get these strange Ideas....

It is a resort... and a last one at that...

Look I don't make $1500 a week after expenses so I have to go with some sort of plan B

"Who the hell are you to assume that your girlfriend is at your beck and call?" um her boyfriend... I don't know if you have ever had an adult relationship but quite often the partners in such relationships help each other out and make sacrifices for each other.

[Raven]

49. Listen pal, I've certainly had "adult" relationships and I have taken

care of both of my elderly parents until their passing. You acted as if this was a given with your girlfriend and that is what offended me. I have many women friends whose husbands expected them to take care of their parents...that the hell is that all about?

[Lost in CT]

67. Well clearly we have discussed it even before the sticker shock...

She isn't jumping up and down with joy and hates moving but if there was no other option...

BTW I would do the same thing for her if the roles were reversed.

[FedUpWithIt All]

50. ROTFLMAO!!!

"I don't know if you have ever had an adult relationship but quite often the partners in such relationships help each other out and make sacrifices for each other."

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8589245

[Raven]

53. I am embarassed to ask but what does Rotf....mean?

[FedUpWithIt All]

55. Rolling on the floor laughing.

[cynatnite]

56. Well, that was enlightening! Lost in CT certainly has a track record it appears. n/t

[Lost in CT]

59. Well a tongue in cheek post in the lounge is hardly representative of a five year relationship.

That said she really did give me a hard time after the pedicure... :hi:

[treestar]

75. What a nice girlfriend, to make that kind of sacrifice

She's not even your wife!

[Lost in CT]

78. Well she wouldn't mind living in the house (She loves the deer and trees)

and she likes the work... She brought it up to me mind you...


But the truth be told I would rather find another solution.

[cynatnite]

14. This is the same person who said that Rihanna should be criminally charged...

for obstruction of justice after her boyfriend beat the shit out of her.

[Lost in CT]

29. And that has whatall to do with this... nt

[cynatnite]

38. Nothing at all. n/t

[readmoreoften]

88. Ah. Makes sense. /nt

[demmiblue]

16. Par for the course with this one

[LanternWaste]

65. I'm beginning to think so...

I'm beginning to think so...

Although my radar is not so finely hued as are many others here, I have been detecting the scent of intellectual flatulence from this one for the past week or so...

[demmiblue]

71. Well, to be honest... I read his [since] locked thread in the Lounge prior to responding!

(as linked below)!

[FedUpWithIt All]

Don't waste your breath.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8589245

The OP obviously thinks very little of his beloved.

She is a lucky gal to have found such a catch.

She should quit her job and take care of his ill Daddy just out of gratitude. :sarcasm:

:puke:

[PRETZEL]

7. Have you checked with any county agencies,

if your father's eligible, there may be sevices that he could qualify for.

Won't hurt.

[Hello_Kitty]

10. Probably not if he has any money.

Long term care is not picked up by the state until you've spent down all your assets.

[Lost in CT]

13. Yup you have to be down to basically zero to get any state assistance. nt

[PRETZEL]

21. I believe PA does it somewhat differently,

there are differing levels of service based upon income and ability to pay a portion of those services.

It's at the point where assets reach a certain point where services become free.

[Hello_Kitty]

8. They are paid shit, which is why they are often immigrants

Our country gives a lot of lip service about caring for the elderly, but just like with the care and education of children, we don't want to pay people to do it.

[lukasahero]

11. Are you suggesting $200 / day is raking it in?

For an 8 hour day, that's $25/hr. (If it's live-in and on-call, it's a third of that.) If you are paying an agency for the person, they are likely making a little more than half of that rate. This is a person you are trusting to care for your father, do you really want to hire someone at minimum wage?

We do not accurately value the work involved in caring for our children and our elderly.

[Lost in CT]

19. $1500 a week with no expenses is raking it in....

After rent food and car I don't make that much... I doubt many people on this board make that much after their nut is paid.

[SmileyRose]

33. I don't make $1500 a MONTH

[lukasahero]

69. Try reading the whole post and doing the math

The agency is getting a good chunk of that change - not the employee. And yes, if you want to know that the person you are leaving your sick father alone with all day is clear of any criminal concerns, then going through an agency is worth the money.

[Lost in CT]

72. I DO NOT MAKE 75 THOUSAND A YEAR EXTRA.... (Let alone Net)

I am not the only person here whom after their bills are paiid for the month says gee what can I do with this extra 8 grand or so I have lying around...

[Xithras]

101. BS. $1500 a week, minus federal and state taxes, minus medical insurance, minus retirement, UI, etc.

In the U.S., the average expense of an employee is roughly double their take home pay. You're essentially talking about hiring a full time employee, so you get to shoulder the full cost. Live-in's hired through an agency also must be bonded, so you're also paying to ensure that none of them can rip your mom off, and to cover liability insurance should one screw up and kill or injure your mom.

Of that $1500 a week, I'd guess that only about $500 are actually going into the providers wallet as pay.

[Lost in CT]

117. $1500 a week for live in help is outrageous...

If your food, rent and transport are covered clearly you do not need to make more that $500 a week. (If that)

[Hannah Bell]

48. I think he's more suggesting that about half the workers in the US make less,

so how the f--- are they supposed to be able to afford it?

[lunatica]

12. You're not altogether correct regarding who is hired to take care of the elderly

I looked into it too and it would take almost all my take home salary to pay for day help for my mother. That's around $10 an hour which isn't unreasonable. But the fact is you have to interview them yourself and they have no certification or training in caring for anyone who is bedridden, or needs physical help. And to put her into a home costs much more than than that. It then becomes a family issue. My son lives with us now and he takes care of her food needs and is there while I'm at my full time job. I take care of the rest (bathing, changing the bed daily, grooming, personal needs, etc.)

If you do get your girlfriend to move in then divide the work. It's really unfair to expect one person to do it all because it's hard and it never ends.

[BR_Parkway]

17. This is how my grandmother earned a living after my grandfather passed

away. She always seemed to enjoy her work (and never made that sort of money) and found new jobs through the newspaper. It kept her fed and a roof, plus she wasn't constantly home by herself and lonely

[napi21]

18. Check your local newspaper to see what rates are being advertised

in the classifieds. $1,500 sounds unbelievable to me. I guess the places you contacted actually employed the people they told you about, and maybe provide HC and unemployment benefits too, but it sounds like THEY are making a big profit for themselves too! I don't believe the folks who actually do the job get anywhere near that amount!

You might try putting an ad in that local paper along with Craigs list. I would strongly suggest you get a PO Box to collect the resumes and NOT give out your phone # or address. Then be sure to carefully check the references!

[kestrel91316]

22. Meanwhile, down the street, I note that two different nanny agencies

have closed up shop.........

Here it's the Ladies Who Lunch and the UAV Moms that use them so someone can watch the kiddies while they run around town. And god forbid they lift a finger to cleam their own homes or shop for groceries.

Of course, I am in an area where, at the expensive grocery (Gelson's) you can see women "shopping" by pointing a finger at what items they want and the "housekeeper" pushing the shopping cart takes it down off the shelf and puts it in the cart. Wouldn't want to break a fingernail.

[hedgehog]

37. UAV moms?

[kestrel91316]

86. Urban Assault Vehicle moms. It's really the only term that fits.

Giant black SUV's, very expensive, driven rudely if not wildly by beautiful long-fingernailed heavily made-up women with cell phones illegally stuck to the side of their heads. You'd have to spend some time here to get it.

[DKRC]

109. Think Karen Walker

[Lars39]

26. There is probably a list or two floating around a senior citizen agency

or a physical therapy group, or a hospital social service director, of people who do this. A newspaper ad in addition to a craigslist ad should garner some people to interview. Ask for references and even ask the police if this person has an arrest history.

Here's 2 books I found *really* helpful: Hiring Home Caregivers, D.Helen Susik,MA(includes templates for Phone screening, employment agreements, sample ads, etc. And: Long Distance Caregiving, Angela Heath

Best wishes,Lost in CT...I know how difficult all this can be. :hug:

[Warpy]

27. First of all, the aide doesn't get that $1500/week, the agency does

and trust me, the agency pays itself very handsomely out of it. They do need to do things like screen their aides and in Florida the aides have to be bonded. However, the aide him/herself gets a hell of a lot less, maybe $300/week for a licensed aide with a better paying agency.

You do need to insist on someone with a driver's license. Even paying through the nose for a live in health aide, you'll be better off than paying for nursing home care.

That Medicare doesn't cover these services is criminal.

[Veritas_et_Aequitas]

87. Well said, Warpy. nt

[sandnsea]

28. Oooh, Oooh, I'll Come Do It!!

lol. The worker will get about $10 an hr and no benefits, so you're right to object. Go to the employment office. Call the local senior center and tell them what you're looking for. They might know someone that this would work out well for. You could call a college and see if there might be several nursing students who could share the responsiblity, make it an internship or sorts.

[SmileyRose]

30. Call your local senior center and/or united way.

Senior groups are bound to be able to help you find a retired nurse or nursing assistant that needs to go back to work in these economic times. We did this with my Dad in 2006. We found 2 different retired nurses, one came in the morning and the other came in the afternoon. We did not hire them from a service, but directly. They were both paid around $150 a week, cash - plus reimbursement for gas to take Dad to appointments if necessary or to stop and pick up groceries or meds) Since neither was a full time employee or long term employee we did not have to worry about all that IRS paperwork. (just like your evening babysitter)

The United Way also tends to be a clearinghouse for this kind of info.

[Lost in CT]

32. That seems like good advice... I will look into that. nt

[SmileyRose]

40. Edit to add

we made sure they were fed - they cooked for and ate with Dad. They had their own homes and did not need to live with Dad. This was an arrangement to keep an eye on him while Mom went to work.

[indepat]

31. We used a 24-7 in-home service for my Dad: the agency kept only about $80,000

of the $158,000 annual rate and it is known for a fact that some of those working the 11pm-7am shift slept a goodly portion of the time although they were being paid to keep an eye on him to assure he didn't leave the house, but did so and managed to rack up $4,000 damage to the car at 2:45am one morning. Wishing you a better solution. :D

[Retrograde]

43. That leaves $78K divided among 3 shifts

comes to $26K per year per worker. Not exactly raking it in, even if the agency fees covers their taxes and insurance.

[indepat]

62. Not raking it in all all

:D

[Oregone]

35. They are H1-B because they work for abysmal wages

The agencies are raking in the profits. This job isn't "beneath" Americans, but they pay below the wages required for the typical standard of living. Far below.

[gcomeau]

45. Please learn the subject before talking about it.

You can't GET an H1-B for any job that doesn't pay the prevailing wage. They don't issue them. That's one of the primary requirements.

So no, corporations do not hire H1-B workers so they can pay them less... because there is no such thing as an H1-B visa issued for a job paying less than the market rate unless the corporation has flat out lied to Immigration about the salary they are going to be paying the person they're bringing in and pocketing the difference, in which case they should be immediately reported for the crime they are committing.

[Oregone]

64. "unless the corporation has flat out lied to Immigration"

And maybe that hits the nail on the head.

I know plenty about H1-Bs. My entire job sector (CompSci) is wiped out to foreign workers who are willing to work for less. Fuck anyone who suggests my peers and I were "under-trained".

Ive also talked with plenty of nannies about their jobs, pay, etc. They are making pennies, believe it or not. Almost all the live-in nannies in my area are foreign workers on special visa programs.

Here is a recent article about H1-Bs and my sector:
http://www.computerworld.com/action/article.do?command=viewArticleBasic&articleId=9127943

[gcomeau]

66. If you actually belive that...

...call up Immigration and tell them you know where they can find a corporation committing a fraud against the United States government and do something about it.

[Oregone]

68. I do believe that, and if it wasn't true, the government wouldn't already be handing out indictments

But they are.

FYI: http://www.bradreese.com/h1b-fraud.pdf (USCIS study citing a 27% rate of fraud for H1-B applications. And wage fraud can be perpetrated in other ways this study would not find)

[treestar]

77. Plus this level of nursing is not professional level for H-1Bs

H-1bs have to be a speciality occupation that requires a college degree.

[Oregone]

84. Then its probably an L1 or some such thing with no prevailing wage requirement

[treestar]

95. Go and look up L1

Facts are always interesting.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

92. or you dont know what you are talking about . nt

[enough]

36. What would be a reasonable rate of pay for this work, in your opinion?

I think the problem is that we expect people to do this sort of work for a next to nothing, as if that is what it is worth. Having been the caregiver for my elderly mother and father, I know that this is incredibly difficult work. And I know how valuable to me was the work of a good helper I hired from an agency. I paid about $18 per hour of which $15 went to the worker and $3 to the agency. It was worth every penny to me, but of course no way I could afford it 24/7.

What do you think would be a fair wage?

[Lost in CT]

54. Keep in mind this is with room and board... That should effect the wage I would think. nt

[lukasahero]

74. We've always had people who did it for nothing - wives, mothers, daughters

Since the OP is 'considering' having his girlfriend do it, seems not much has really changed.

This work is seriously undervalued.

[NewJeffCT]

39. Well, the short-term nature might scare some people off

If it's for a month or so, some people might not want to move into a place for that long, only to have to move on 4 weeks later.

Since you're in Westport, according to your profile, they can also get away with charging higher prices.

And, are there many Americans even in the field? When I went onto Craig's List to look for nannies, I found two women that were Chinese (one of whom did not have a car...) and another that was moving into the area and wanted $700/week for 18-20 hours of work in the late afternoon/early evening. She was American, but $35/hour to play with a kid seemed a bit much...

There is a place near us in the Hartford area that provides nannies & elderly care, but all of their employees are from Poland/Eastern Europe. We had inquired with them about providing a nanny, but my wife changed her mind later.

[Lost in CT]

57. This is a permanent position .. I have been up here a month (going on two soon)

And I will stay here until we find a permanent solution.... needless to say I had to leave work to do this so finding a solution is a time sensitive matter.

[NewJeffCT]

81. ah, I thought you meant you were looking for somebody for a month

I PM'd you some info as well.

[killbotfactory]

41. That 1500 is going to go to the company, because they can take it.

I bet the person doing the actual care gets a tiny fraction of that.

[AlCzervik]

44. and i doubt they work 8 hours, if they live in you know they're on duty 24/7.

[Extend a Hand]

46. We hired a lady to help my Mom

She is not live in but she cooks for Mom and helps her take the right meds.
My sister found her by asking the ladies at her church that do the widow's ministry.
She charges $11/hour.

[Bonhomme Richard]

51. My 84 yr old mother in law just moved in with us in CT. We looked into..

having someone from Visiting Nurses come by a couple of days a week for a few hours just to bath her. If it wasn't prescribed and paid for by medicare that wanted $50.00/ hr with a 3 hour minimum. That is nuts.
We ended up hiring a local Hispanic woman who is a CNA for $15.00/hr and she is great. When she finishes with my mother in law she starts cleaning the house to fill out her time.
Good luck.

[Catherine Vincent]

52. It's hard work taking care of an adult than it is a child.

If it's simply to watch over him, then yeah $200/day may be a bit much but if you have to change their diaper, feed them etc., then that's how much I would want, or more.

[EFerrari]

60. It is hard work and it can be lonely work, too, if that person isn't really there

anywhere and you're isolated with them all day.

[Lost in CT]

63. It's basically to cook for him, drive him places and keep him out of trouble. nt

[Vinca]

61. We've got an elderly neighbor with 24/7 help.

He's a fairly wealthy man without family and I can't help but wonder if he's being taken advantage of. The woman hired is from an agency, but when I call the house I sometimes get her sister or another relative. Last fall I had a confrontation with them because the caregiver's sister added a boyfriend to the gang and he brought along an ATV to run around the property. Knowing the man and his late wife absolutely hated the things - and we hate the noise from the things - I let the original caregiver have it and told her they were taking advantage of the old man. I didn't call the agency, but if it resumes in the spring I sure will and will call his attorney to boot. Good luck finding someone who isn't a nightmare.

[treestar]

73. There is no way they are H-1Bs

Unless that is your assumption for all aliens? And can you pay that amount? If that's what they are worth, Americans get the same as H-1bs, or even for those who insist on lying about what H-1Bs get paid, wouldn't Americans get even more?

[Lost in CT]

76. The answer to the first qquestion is that they don't drive because they

are from "the Islands" I assume they are legal and I was guessing that they are imported under a program like the H-1b program...

And know I don't have an extra 1500 net a week in the budget.

Honestly I really know few people who do.

[Hello_Kitty]

106. According to the Times of India, H1b visas get paid less

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/2058418.cms

Not exactly germane to the OP since immigrants who do care work are probably on a different type of visa than an H1b (if they have one at all - lots of undocumented workers in that industry) but I'm not going to let you get away with the claim you are making.

[KharmaTrain]

79. Be Very Cautious About Agencies...

I had to provide care for my parents in their last days and it was a never-ending battle. My father had initially contracted with an agency that had a revolving door of primarily foreign (Philipino) women. Some were very compassionate and helpful, others looked like they would rather be on Mars. The $200 a day figure sounds around what my father was paying and the agency made sure to send one of their own people around once a week to collect. Out of curiosity, I learned that the agency only passed along about 25% or $50 a day to each care giver. They kept both sides in the dark and no one was the wiser.

When I had to take control of the situation, I contacted several non-profit agencies that specialize in aging...as well as the local hospice and was put in contact with some independet care givers who were certified (many had previously worked at nursing homes). I felt a lot better knowing these people got every dime they earned and peace of mind as they were far more qualified and caring in watching over my parents.

[tech3149]

80. Sorry I can't help you myself

I moved back to my 87 y/o parents home last year to help out. I have an ex sister in law in Waterford that has been a caregiver for years. Not exactly around the corner, but she has no attachments, as far as I know, except making regular trips to P town. I know she'd jump at the chance to make 1/3 of that as a live-in. If rearranging your life isn't an option, beat the bushes in the neighborhood. I'm sure you could find people in the area that could do the job for much less not to make money but just cover expenses and help take care of a neighbor.

[wiggs]

82. I've wondered why more seniors who need help don't band together in

a house and hire helpers together. One caretaker can handle more than one client usually.

[Name removed]

83. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Veritas_et_Aequitas]

85. Do you pay the live-in directly or cut a check to the company?

In the case of the latter scenario, it's probable that the aid isn't getting anything close to $1500 a week, but rather a faction of that.

[Lost in CT]

90. Currently the live in help gets nothing and still has to pay his bills elsewhere.

(That would be me of course)

$1500 a week net simply isn't doable... I do not have that kind of money.

[Ilsa]

89. I hear you. It is outrageous. My dad needs someone with him at all times

to remind him to walk and sit a certain way so he doesn't fall. He has a med alert system in case he falls, but we need to be with him to prepare his meals, etc. The cost of assisted living is cheaper than what you are quoting.

You might try to find someone on your own who will work for less, but you'll have to satisfy yourself that this person can't steal anything from your family.

[Raven]

93. Yikes! Why is that the presumption for someone caring for a loved one?

Be sure they can't steal??? Why would I hire someone like that? Who are we handing our elders off to? If this is the situation is this country, why are we not all screaming about it? Is this something that can be left for later?

[Ilsa]

104. Hey, we live too far away for a daily commute

to take care of Dad. And the agencies have to bond their sitters because of losses. Then there are the sitters that work to confuse the elderly and try to get them to sign over assets to them. And friends doing home health care have reported non-agency sitters to the police for verbal abuse.

The best thing a family member can do is get certified by the state so they can provide cheaper care if the govt is underwriting the cost of long term elderly care. And buy long term care insurance for yourself so family doesn't have to care for you.

[SoCalDem]

91. Try a local college or better yet a nursing school if there's one nearby

A friend did this when her grandma was in failing health. She found a young nursing student, and offered her free room & board (and use of a car), in exchange for helping her care for her granny. It worked quite well for them for the year and a half that her grandmother lived, and the young woman stayed on living with her until she graduated.. they are still friends, 5 years later..

[begin_within]

94. As someone who takes care of his mother 24/7, I think that's a bargain.

[Lost in CT]

96. Bless you for that... My dad is so far low maintenance but I know that will change.

It may be a bargain but I simply don't have an extra 1500 a week net to spend and yet I have to work to pay the bills I do have.

[begin_within]

99. Is your Dad by any chance a veteran?

[Lost in CT]

103. He did mandatory service in the British Navy in the early sixties.

He has been in the states since the early seventies and all the family is here so shipping him back to Ireland or Britain doesn't seem a good option... (Not that in a black humor moment we havn't considered it)

[begin_within]

114. oh.

Well there is a little-known benefit for veterans called Aid & Attendance, but you have to have served in the U.S. military during a wartime to qualify for it. So I guess that's not an option. But maybe the British Navy has a similar benefit?

[CTyankee]

97. Have you looked into temporary residence in an assisted living place?

I really don't know what they charge now in CT. My mother was in one in Dallas and I do know they had unrented rooms that they would rent out temporarily to elderlypersons needing a place to stay while their family was on vacation or some such.

These places do have transportationto dr.s offices, dentists, etc.

My mother was in a lovely place. I even stayed in a room there when I went down to visit her and it was perfectly wonderful. The food was institutional of course but very nourishing and the people were terrific.

[Lost in CT]

102. We are visitng them this week. We make look out of state since the

ones in CT are quite dear... But the overall expense is the same and honestly Mom still needs a place to live... I would love to be able to sell the house ect but to say this isn't the right time is an understatement.

[CTyankee]

112. I was so pleased with my mother's assisted living. I was grateful.

It was bright and well kept up and cheerful and they had lots for residents to do. My mother was quite elderly when she went in, age 90, but with no chronic illness she did well. Home was just a house of horrors, she blew up the microwave by putting a metal spoon in her cup of water and broke the glass carafe of her coffee maker. I was scared to have her alone.

Good luck to you. I truly sympathize. I was on Xanax for several months trying to work this situation out for her while holding down a full time job. I used all of my vacation time just going down to see her in Texas and being with her as much as I could. It's a problem, I know. And I know how you worry.

Take care...you are assuredly not alone...

[terisan]

107. You have to hire someone yourself or go through a church that helps unemployed

get work. There are many poor and underemployed (women particularly) who are in need of income.

But remember for that one month the person still has to pay their own rent/utilities or whatever.

Best bet may be older person who is caring individual and for whom the money is useful but not essential. Such a person often goes the extra mile to help people in crisis. Can still be found in churches, volunteers at senior centers,

Agencies are expensive-but they have to follow lots of rules/regulations and must be insured etc. and the workers have to maintain their own homes even if they are living with you for one month-agency workers are often independent contractors and the work is not steady plus they may have spouses and families-so rent/utilities and even food may still have to be paid at home.

[Libertyfirst]

110. PLEASE REMEMBER: If you hire directly you need insurance to

protect you and the worker. You may also need worker's compensation insurance, and if you pay more than $1,200 in a year you need to pay social security and submit a tax statement to IRS. Otherwise you will be subject to all kinds of fines, penalties, etc. Failure to do this is the "nanny problem" we keep reading about possible political appointees having. You probably should have a tax person or someone similar advise you on this.

[JTFrog]

118. And yet this morning I read about Octomom getting a bigger house, and FREE nurses.

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20264408,00.html

The neonatal intensive care nurses specialize in premature infant developmental care, says Linda Conforti West, CEO and founder of Angels in Waiting. The agency would have 14 nurses a day, four to five at a time, working around the clock, representatives recently told PEOPLE. Normally, they say, that kind of care would cost about $135,000 a month. The nurses' salaries are paid by the organization.

------------

As far as the babies' father, she says she paid him for the sperm donation. "A certain amount of money," she says, "not too much but just enough so he knew that there were boundaries there. I wanted those boundaries to be really firm and know that this is a business arrangement."

Business arrangement. :eyes: :eyes:

There is some twisted assbackwards shit there.

[Lost in CT]

119. Well that is nice that the nursing is provided. (for the kids sake)

and I believe sperm donors are protected under law from child support payments (Though I could be wrong)

But $135,000 a month for eight babies imagine if she had only one baby 3 nurses on 8 hour shifts would be 29k a month (per this article)....


Who has that kind of extra money net among us.