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I don't think I have ever done something so important with my life (Ken Nerburn)

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Shardik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-19-09 05:39 AM
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I don't think I have ever done something so important with my life (Ken Nerburn)
Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living.

It was a cowboy’s life, a life for someone who wanted no boss.

What I didn’t realize was that it was also a ministry.

Because I drove the night shift, my cab became a moving confessional. Passengers climbed in, sat behind me in total anonymity, and told me about their lives. I encountered people whose lives amazed me, ennobled me, and made me laugh and weep.

But none touched me more than a woman I picked up late one August night. I was responding to a call from a small brick fourplex in a quiet part of town. I assumed I was being sent to pick up some partyers, or someone who had just had a fight with a lover, or a worker heading to an early shift at some factory for the industrial part of town.

When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window.

Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, then drive away.

But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation.

Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself.

So I walked to the door and knocked. “Just a minute”, answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.

After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80’s stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knick-knacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

“Would you carry my bag out to the car?” she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness.

“It’s nothing”, I told her. “I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated.”

“Oh, you’re such a good boy”, she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, then asked, “Could you drive through downtown?”

“It’s not the shortest way,” I answered quickly.

“Oh, I don’t mind,” she said. “I’m in no hurry. I’m on my way to a hospice.”

I looked in the rear view mirror. Her eyes were glistening.

“I don’t have any family left,” she continued. “The doctor says I don’t have very long.”

I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. “What route would you like me to take?” I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she’d ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, “I’m tired. Let’s go now.”

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

“How much do I owe you?” she asked, reaching into her purse.

“Nothing,” I said.

“You have to make a living,” she answered.

“There are other passengers”.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.

“You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,” she said. “Thank you.”

I squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I didn’t pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly, lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don’t think that I have done anything more important in my life.

We’re conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware - beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

Found here: http://www.zenmoments.org/the-cab-ride-ill-never-forget/
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PuraVidaDreamin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-19-09 09:25 AM
Response to Original message
1. One of the most beautiful stories I've read in a long time.
Wow and thank you. And on that note, this is a perfect time
to do my meditation. :hug:
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Shardik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-19-09 12:17 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. Stumbled across it and felt the same thing.
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Sinistrous Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-19-09 10:11 AM
Response to Original message
2. What beautiful lesson, so gently taught. K&R
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Shardik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-19-09 02:00 PM
Response to Reply #2
5. a link to the writer's site and a quote from his latest posting:
http://kentnerburn.com/

/snip

I, personally, think we are putting a good man in the White House. I think he understands what needs to happen. Whether he can make it happen, or whether the systems and mindsets are so calcified that they cannot be moved, remains to be seen. There is not even any proof that anything can set things aright. Perhaps we are simply reaping the whirlwind.

But individuals survive and thrive in the most barren economic and physical environments. They create lives and friendships and societies and dreams. They only fail to survive in barren spiritual environments. And we are not yet a barren spiritual environment. We are a big-hearted people. We are filled with love and compassion and the capacity to hope. Anyone who comes here from another country sees that. But the dissonance between our personal character and our public and corporate behavior has become almost too great to comprehend.

The question now is whether the government can become a mirror of our better selves and an agent of positive change. Personally, I think it can, and, more than any time in my life, I am hopeful. I had no problem with Michelle Obama’s comment that, for the first time in a long time, she was proud of her country.

/snip

The whole blog is well worth reading.
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Flying Dream Blues Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-19-09 01:04 PM
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4. Thanks for this beautiful story. K&R
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roguevalley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-19-09 03:38 PM
Response to Original message
6. a yeller dog, you are so humane and decent. you helped a little
woman find the way to the end with her dignity intact. what a wonderful story (and person) this is. I hug you. That could have been me.
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Shardik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-19-09 03:45 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. That wasn't me.
It was a man called Ken Neburn. But thank you for the thought. I like to believe that is the way I am.
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roguevalley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-19-09 04:30 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. oh crap. I missed that little part. But posting it shows me you are the
same. :-D

RV, feeling awfully good about everyone today.
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Shardik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-19-09 06:20 PM
Response to Reply #8
9. I think we all are.
Good times.
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Shardik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-19-09 08:08 PM
Response to Original message
10. A kick for the evening crowd.
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asdjrocky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-19-09 08:15 PM
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11. Well worth the read, thanks so much.
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Shardik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-20-09 01:20 AM
Response to Reply #11
14. Glad I could share the find with you.
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MadMaddie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-19-09 09:35 PM
Response to Original message
12. The driver is amazing.....
And the women had some joy reliving her memories.....
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wellstone dem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-19-09 09:59 PM
Response to Original message
13. zen moments also posted the story
of a young Obama helping out a young woman at the airport. It's a great site.
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pinto Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-20-09 01:37 AM
Response to Original message
15. Beautiful story - Kent Nerburn writes about his telling of it -
But, back to the cab story. In the book I tell the story of when I was driving a cab in Minneapolis and picked up a woman who was going to a hospice. We drove around all night at her request in what was very likely her last real journey through the outside world she was preparing to leave. It was one of those “blue moments,” as I call them, when some kind of spiritual light shines through the ordinary affairs of everyday life. As most of you know, this is one of the primary themes of my work as a writer.

Well, this cab driver story, in various iterations, has moved virally around the internet for years. It got changed, detached from the Francis book, and attributed to any number of anonymous and not so anonymous sources. It frustrated me, but I tried to listen to my better angels and take satisfaction in the fact that at least it was being read.

Then, last week, something happened. Several websites, primarily zenmoments.org, reddit.com, and something called, I believe, dooce.com picked it up. Within hours my website was being hit like it seldom has before. On the third day after the initial publication I had almost 49,000 hits. This has not happened since my postings on the Red Lake shootings a number of years ago.

What was interesting to me was the comments that people made in response to the story. There seemed to be two fundamental threads: “This is a beautiful story; I’m glad there are people like this in the world,” and “What a bunch of sappy, probably fictional, crap.” Well, though strange and improbable, it is not fictional. Anyone who’s ever driven a cab knows that things happen that are beyond belief.

But that’s neither here nor there.

What is important to me is that in this dichotomy of responses lies the human struggle that so many of us live on a daily basis. We want to be the good person who picks up the old woman, drives her around, and refuses payment for giving her the last ride of her life. And yet we are also the caustic, cynical, folks who pick at the world and carp about things that irritate us or upset us. As Walt Whitman said, “Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself. I am large. I contain multitudes.” Or, to put it in St. Paul’s terms, “That which I would, I do not. That which I do, I would not.” We are simply complex creatures that contain both dark and light in us in varying degrees.

What I wanted to do in the Francis book was to bring out the light. I did not want to claim that I was light, or that I always lived in the light. Those who make such claims are either saints, or deluded, or disingenuous. And there are precious few saints among us.

The constant presence, and overwhelmingly positive response to the cab driver story tells me that there is, in almost all of us, a yearning for the light. We want to be the good person, the one who does the good thing, the one who makes the proper response to the situation. Yet, sadly, and far too often, we do not. That I did so in that moment in the cab back in the mid 1980’s does not make me a good person. It makes me a person who, for one moment, did something that was good. As a dear friend of mine once said, “Most people just slog through the world trying to be kind.” That’s what I was doing on that unexceptional August morning when an exceptional moment broke through the ordinariness of an ordinary day.

http://kentnerburn.com/
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Shardik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-20-09 01:41 AM
Response to Reply #15
16. Thank you for postiing this.
It is so true and apropos to makes this story so relevant to today.
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yorgatron Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-20-09 02:33 AM
Response to Reply #16
17. i think i got something in my eye

:cry:
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Naturyl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-20-09 02:38 AM
Response to Original message
18. Kent Nerburn is a good man.
Nothing is more important than what he did that night.

There are tests in this life, and he passed a big one. I thank him on behalf of all the vulnerable and suffering among us, and I thank you for posting this.
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