Does anyone else here have strangers coming up to your door to "Witness" and pass out Bible tracts?

[Shardik]

My house seems to attract them and I try to be polite, but it's beginning to get real old, real fast.

I'm a Buddhist and an atheist. I got to get out of going to church when I was 16. Emancipated in a way.

I'm considering printing out a tract of my own listing contradictions in the bible and some of the more ludicrous things from Leviticus. Then tell them to read it and get back to me later.

How would you handle it?

[babylonsister]

1. Yes. I just tell them no thanks. nt

[Blue_In_AK]

2. It happens to me a lot.

I take their literature, thank them and tell them that I have my own spiritual beliefs. That's usually sufficient.

[madokie]

3. tell 'em to get off your gawd damn porch

before you unleash the devil on them

[seabeyond]

4. i do. but i like it. i am christian. i am also angry at the fundamentalist christians

in my area. it is good for them to hear a different perspective. and i do it respectfully, with love, i know the bible, and i know how to debate.

they want to run off my porch.

i get a cig, cup of coffee, sit on the porch and start talking, challenging them at every turn they make.

i see how it bothers some. i see it as an opportunity. everyone ends up agreeing with me that we are not being christian now, and our responsibility as a christian is to speak out to other christians.

[LeftyMom]

5. I think they all got the idea. I got a bunch when I moved in but I seem to have scared them all off.

I have no patience for door to door ignorance salesmen.

[Stevenmarc]

6. I just do a indignant Marlee Matlin imitation.

[A HERETIC I AM]

7. Last time some came to my door.....

after they gave their opening line, I just looked at the woman who spoke to me with the most incredulous look I could muster (and a polite smile) and simply said, "Thanks very much, and I appreciate your intentions, but I am the LAST guy you want to talk to about this. I am an Atheist. There is NO god. Have a nice day." At that point I step back and close the door.

Never been bothered since.

[awoke_in_2003]

45. Well that sounds easier...

than answering the door naked and holding a shotgun.

[HillWilliam]

50. Don't even have to hold one

There's hardly a soul who doesn't recognize the distinctive ch-chick-ch-CHUNK of a 12ga being pumped behind the door.

Works every time.

Trust :evilgrin:

[stopbush]

8. I ask 'em if they support gay marriage. If they say "no," then I tell

them to get their bigoted asses the hell off my property. If they don't leave, I turn the hose on 'em.

Works like a charm!

[TK421]

9. I just whip it out and start pissing on them......

just kidding, but last October I had a Jehovah's Witness stop me on the street. At first I thought he was asking for directions, because he looked really lost. Then I thought he was going to hit me up for a smoke, but instead he started asking me about where I thought I was going in life, and if I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior ( or some shit like that ). I told him I was just coming home from the bar to have some hot, steamy sex with my girlfriend.....and walked away.

Things like that...will keep them guessing

[angrycarpenter]

10. My old Rottweiler bit one about 20 years ago

I was napping on the couch when one of the stepkids yelled from outside that someone was here to see me. The dog was already at the door when the kid threw open the door. The Jehovah's witness guy was faced with a hundred pound dog and freaked. He put out his hands in front of him and stuck his finger right in the dog's mouth. Rocko chomped down and put a single puncture in his finger.

I put up the dog and treated his wound, I even bought a book. I didn't get sued and they never came back.

[slackmaster]

11. Testigos de Jehová en me vecinidad

:hi:

[MajorChode]

12. Immediately go into a rant about how the Christians stole Yule

If they don't leave within 1 minute tell them you're about to turn the dogs loose.

Other strategies include telling them that they are just in time because you have just laid out the shower curtain and lubed it up with Wesson oil. This works especially well if they are the same sex. If they act offended, tell them not to worry because you have plenty of condoms.

[ejpoeta]

13. i haven't had any of those folks for awhile. once in awhile they come.

i think the last time they came the lady asked me something to do with learning about getting kids to behave (?) and i said no, not really. and she went away. maybe it was the sight of my heathen child running around naked or something. i try to be polite, since i had a sister who said she was a jehovah's witness for awhile. and i would pepper her with questions. or was it one of her friends. i don't know. she wouldn't participate in that knocking on doors stuff. she was going to law school and is now a lawyer. it was wierd when she didn't celebrate christmas and stuff.

[Skittles]

14. yes

I am polite to them because they are polite and well-mannered.

[Shardik]

22. Me too, for the most part.

But geeze, I wish they had some sort of "do not call" list.

[Skittles]

38. yes, me too

but, that would defeat their purpose, huh? I guess we have to settle for polite and not-pushy :)

[Schema Thing]

15. I used to be one of those people

and I'm now an atheist.


If you're talking about Jehovah's Witnesses, I can tell you that it is a harmful cult, and I wish that more people would indeed have politely engaged me in conversation, or given me reading material about contradictions within my own religion or the bible. I don't know that it would have gotten me out sooner, but it may well have, had it been compelling. I look back and am gobsmacked that I believed what I believed, but I was born into it.



You'd be amazed at how few real conversations Jehovah's Witnesses get into (largely their own fault, as they avoid disconfirming ideas like the plague) in the course of their door knocking.

[KG]

16. i really hate it when they show up while i'm masturbating to some great porn.

i can ignore the knock on the door but of course that sets off the doggie alarm so i gotta stop and get him calmed down.

it's annoying as hell, cuz sometime i forget to hit the pause button and i lose my place. :grr:

[Skittles]

39. JAYSUS KG

SCHEDULING YOU FOR REMEDIAL ASS KICKING

[KG]

41. what? what did i do now?

[Skittles]

49. FORGETTING TO HIT PAUSE

IT'S F***ING EGREGIOUS, DUDE :7

[dixiegrrrrl]

17. My dog always gets to the door first.

Our 6 foot 4 inch 300 pound meter reader can move a lot faster than you would think.

I just tell sales idjits to "Step back" in a very alarmed voice, act as if I can't control the dog, who has a deep and continous bark.

they leave, dog gets a biscuit, I have a chuckle.

Also fun is to act as if you don't understand English....think Monty Python for inspiration.

We have no shame and boring lives here in the country, what can I say?

[Canuckistanian]

18. I tell them I'm Jewish and I'm late for synagogue

That seems to confuse them enough into silence and I shut the door.

[buzzycrumbhunger]

19. My daughter seems to have cured them

. . . by telling them we dance nekkid around the fire in the back yard and they're welcome to join us. (Actually, she had to hit them with another salvo when this merely made them retreat to the end of the driveway and start rifling through their literature for counterspells, but it's been about nine months since our last pest.) If they start coming back, I may have to make a nice stained glass pentacle for the window to keep them at bay.

My mom got rid of hers by getting a stack of catholic tracts to keep by the door; when they'd offer her one of theirs, she'd accept only if they were willing to read one of hers. Works like garlic vampire repellent.

[annabanana]

20. I tried to give them a copy of the Nicaean Creed.... and off they went

never to return.

[NNN0LHI]

21. I was doing some pirate radioing and a couple of guys in suits and overcoats rang my doorbell

High powered pirate radioing with a huge seven element directional horizontal Yagi-Uda antenna and a few Kilowatts driving it. I was QSOing with a good old boy (Russian) on Sakhalin Island at the time. It looked like the guys from Men In Black at my door. I thought they were FCC agents and I was going to jail for sure. I didn't know whether to shit or go blind? I finally bit the bullet and answered the door and found out they were Jehovah Witnesses and I was so relieved I bought every book they had. I gave them 50 bucks I was so happy.

Don

[dkofos]

23. Not any more

[uppityperson]

24. You can ask to be taken off their list for a yr, call local Jehovah's Witness place.

I quit being polite since they were not polite in return. I found they will take you off their list for a yr or so if you call and ask.

[cobalt1999]

25. I LOVE IT!

My wife usually intercepts and warns them away before I can get to them though.

They are pure entertainment to this atheist. I'm very polite, but I will debate them until they either agree their beliefs have no intellectual foundation or they go away.

Quite entertaining.

[stopbush]

40. I've argued with them at times.

Once, I asked a JW about the flat Earth. He was ready for me - 'the Bible doesn't say the Earth is flat, it says it's a circle!" I pointed out to him that a circle was a flat, 2-D object, while a sphere was a 3-D, non-flat object.

The lady with him then tried to say that the word used in the Bible for "circle" really meant sphere, and that it was a bad translation problem. When I pointed out the the Hebrew word for circle was "chuwg" while the Hebrew word for ball was "duwr" (there is no specific word in Hebrew for "sphere') and that the verse they were citing (Isaiah 40: 22) used the word chwug, they left.

But it takes time to go through all that. Hittin' 'em with the hose is easier.

[cobalt1999]

46. Easier, but I like seeing their expressions...

as they go from trying to convince someone to having to explain WHY they believe.

Although the hose sounds like fun too. :)

[juno jones]

26. Put a statue of Ho-Ti , the 'laughing Buddha' outside the door

That seems to put the panties of a few of em in a wad.

[SidneyCarton]

27. did it for two years as a Mormon missionary.

If someone told me they weren't interested, I went elsewhere. Getting into a fight with people solves nothing and wastes time that could be spent talking to interested people.

Having done it, I feel somewhat obligated to be equally courteous to anyone who knocks on my door, though we don't get many traveling preachers around here.

[Tikki]

28. They come in a couple vans or so and park...

in front of our hedge...then they wander up and down our street and off into other streets.

One time a couple of these women were going to head up our driveway to our side door and
I stepped out and shook my head 'no' and they were still heading up the drive when I shook
my head 'no' at them, again.

One of the poor dear ole souls was so frustrated she actually stomped her foot at me.


Tikki

[Ghost in the Machine]

29. Not since I converted 2 of them into atheists last year...

[ProgressiveFool]

30. You have to start answering the door naked if you know it's them /nt

[spoony]

31. Like an adult.

That's how.

I get salesmen of all types, peddling magazine subscriptions, candy, lawn services and religion. I tell them I'm all set but thanks anyway, and everyone goes about their lives in ten seconds.

If someone feels like door-to-doorers are a waste of their time, why waste more of it making up their own tracts or arguing or being a prat? "No thanks" and close door, repeat as necessary.

[EFerrari]

32. No. The word is out.

:)

[stillcool]

33. Florida 1979..

and it was hilarious. There were 4 of us, we were all high, and my boyfriend invited them in. It was a freak show for them and for us. Then there were the Hira Krishna guys, what ever happened to them?

[demgurl]

34. I am Buddhist as well.....

This means we must treat others with respect. The last time two of them showed up at my doorstep I politely told them my beliefs. One was really rabid about the religion but the other one ended up even asking me questions. I just held firm even when they told me I was going to burn for eternity and that I am condemning my children to the same.

One said he felt that he was sent to my house that night for a reason - to personally save me! I told him perhaps there was a reason and that Buddhists believe that everyone in their core is Buddhist in nature and that it is only time until they turn Buddhist. I said maybe the reason he was at my house was so I could explain Buddhism to him and get him to convert.

We went back and forth. (both of us politely) I even asked how many poor people he could help by selling his Hummer he parked in my driveway. He said he had worked hard and prayed to God and that God wanted him to have it so his family would be safe! I asked how much he respected God's world and environment if he kept is car running for the 40 or so minutes we had been talking.

He asked me to his church and I told him I would make him a deal. I said I knew some homeless people and if he were to donate $50 to two of them that I would attend one service at his church. He explained it is up to the church to take care of the less fortunate.

He left and I never saw him again.

[Shardik]

47. Thanks, Demgurl.

You are right and that's the only thing that has kept my naturally smart ass in check.

I imagine, in reality, I will still answer the door and smile while I tell them no thank you and accept their tracts to throw away.

I used to announce no thanks, I'm a Buddhist, and that would usually set off a longer conversation than I wanted.

Oh, well. This is a good place to vent.

[Warpy]

48. Same here, but I worked 12 hour night shifts as a nurse

and they would invariably lean on my doorbell just after I got to sleep. They would lean on it until I answered since a car was in the driveway. No "day sleeper" sign has ever deterred a religious zealot bent on saving souls.

I don't know if you know any night nurses, but we are rabid when somebody wakes us out of an exhausted sleep. In addition, being awakened during the day puts the patients we care for the next night at risk because we go to work exhausted.

So in a spirit of compassion to myself and my patients, I let them have it.

I haven't had anybody try to sell me Jesus in about 12 years now.

[Greyskye]

35. I just smile and tell them thanks, but I'm not interested.

Then I tell them that I hope they have a nice day, and gently close the door on them. The only rude thing I do is interrupt them if they start in on their spiel - no sense in wasting either their time or mine.

I'm a secular humanist that doesn't have a need for religion in my life. I know people who get upset at Bible pushers at the door, but I figure everyone is better off if they're in a good mood. :hi:

[valerief]

36. Don't answer the door unless you know the person. If they persist, phone the police. nt

[Mari333]

37. I have one of these on my door

no one bothers me now.


http://yque.com/noprdosi.html

[blonndee]

42. I used to get them all the time in Oklahoma. I simply said, "Not interested" and shut the door.

The only time I got ugly was with the JWs who came week after week. After the fourth or fifth time, I lost it on their asses and said some harsh things, since they were always waking me up and I'd told them several times I wasn't interested. It worked. They never came back.

[readmoreoften]

43. Yes. I'm going to start inviting them in and trying to convert them to communism.

[Raine]

44. I don't go to the door unless

I'm expecting someone I know to come over ... solves all problems involving anyone selling anything. :think: