Vice Presidential Handlers Lure Cheney Into Traveling Crate (The Onion)

[Ilsa]

:rofl:

Vice Presidential Handlers Lure Cheney Into Traveling Crate

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/vice_presidential_handlers

WASHINGTON—A team of nine specially trained handlers have successfully lured outgoing vice president Dick Cheney into a reinforced steel traveling crate in order to transport him back to his permanent enclosure in Casper, WY, official sources reported Monday. "He's a smart one. Once he sees the crate, he gets pretty nippy, but we've learned a few tricks over the years," chief VP wrangler Ted Irving breathlessly said while applying pressure to a deep gash on his forearm. "If we break a rabbit's legs and throw it in there, he will eventually go in to finish it off. Doesn't work with dead rabbits, though. Cheney only eats what he kills." Irving said that the latest vice presidential relocation went much more smoothly than September's diplomatic trip to Georgia, which was delayed for several hours after Cheney mauled three secret service agents and escaped inside the White House walls.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. LOL!

He's kind of a Hannibal Lecter sorta guy... :rofl:

[Ilsa]

2. He usually skips the Chianti and goes for the Crown.

Well, sometimes the frontal lobe, too.

[arcadian]

5. That scene fucked me up.

It is with out a doubt the most disgusting thing in cinema.

[Ilsa]

6. Me too. It was so horrible. The "feeding" on the airplane at the end

was almost as bad.

I wonder how the actors managed to contain their disgust?

[cynatnite]

3. photographic evidence...

[Ilsa]

4. Oh, good one! Dinner is served in just a minute! nt