ALERT FLIGHT ATTENDANT PREVENTS AIR DISASTER

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

AirTran Crew Quarantines Flatulent Passenger, Makes Emergency Landing

For the second time in as many news cycles, the tens of dollars AirTran Airways has invested in advanced security training for its flight crews has paid a handsome dividend. Thanks to an alert flight attendant, almost certain catastrophe was averted on Flight 281 from Boston to Atlanta earlier today.

While scores of relaxed passengers, totally unaware of the peril in their midst, were innocently enjoying their complimentary meal of iceberg lettuce with tomato wedge, cucumber slice, and fat-free Ranch dressing, Rice Pilaf with lukewarm chunks resembling chicken meat, and a four-ounce container of red Jell-O with stuff in it, alert flight crew members sprang into action. Quickly, decisively, and heroically, they assaulted, kidnapped and humiliated a retiree before making an emergency landing in Charlotte, North Carolina — triggering not only flight delays up and down the Eastern seaboard, but also the mobilization of dozens of Transportation Safety Administration, FBI, and Homeland Security personnel, many of whom expressed their gratitude to taxpayers for the overtime hours.

The drama began when a flight attendant serving coffee overheard a young girl say, “Grandpa, it’s not nice to do stinky bombs on the airplane.”

Read Full Story: http://thedesperateblogger.wordpress.com/2009/01/02/alert-flight-attendant-prevents-air-disaster/

[shadowknows69]

1. Please tell me this is a joke

Ah yes, it appears so. Whew.

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

16. Unfortunately the Muslim family wasn't....

Very prudent of them though, what with all the planes that have been hijacked by families w/children all wearing traditional clothing...

[Aviation Pro]

2. Ah, ha-ha.....

...AirTran serves nothing except drinks and peanuts in economy and drinks and potato chips and cookies in "first class."

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

5. to prevent terrorism.

[Sobiut]

3. I spent an embarassingly long time trying to figure out whether or not this was a joke

:(

[madinmaryland]

12. Welcome to DU!!!

:hi:

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

15. Says less about you than the airlines...

and their brilliant security measures.

Question: How many American planes have ever been hijacked by people wearing traditional Muslim clothing?

[johnfunk]

22. The tipoff was the iceberg lettuce.

AirTran doesn't serve anything resembling vegetables. If you fly coach you get Soylent Green and peanuts.

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

23. My Bad...

I thought the tipoff was 'alert' and 'AirTran'

[Wilms]

4. Like a fly at a picnic. n/t

[ellenfl]

6. lol! the meal was a dead giveaway that this is a joke.

i had to do a double take of the airline name. i haven't seen food like that on any airline in years, let alone airtran!

ellen fl

[SoCalDem]

8. My kids laugh when we tell them we had filet mignon & champagne in a real glass

and had real silverware & china plates..on DELTA..

[trof]

10. The good ol' days.

I remember them.

[SoCalDem]

11. On an Air Jamaica flight to Montego Bay

the flight attendants put on a fashion show..and we had LIMBO in the aisles for passengers :rofl:

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

21. Now the only Limbo

is how low can you go to avoid the person in front of you when they recline.

[polmaven]

13. But don't forget...

The flight originated in Boston....Our Boston Baked Beans can build some pretty dagerous stinky bombs!

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

14. Hopefully our tax dollars are hard at work

looking into that.

[Xipe Totec]

7. ALERT FLIGHT ATTENDANT PREVENTS WIND DISASTER n/t

[DS1]

9. Damn, we have some real fast readers on this site

[donco6]

17. LOL! Great.

Puts it in exactly the frame it should have been from the beginning.

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

18. Great signature...

wish I'd let people vote on the first one...

[donco6]

19. Ha! Sounds like a story there.

But hey, since I can't get married, at least I can avoid the boo-boos.

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

20. Have you thought about...

...going to Canada?

Just one of the many parallels between marriage and the draft...