Koppel: “In Fairness To Bush, There Were A Couple Of Days That Didn’t Suck”

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New York - In a new Ted Koppel special, A Look Back On The 21st Century, Ted Koppel joins forces with other well-known journalists to document how the country and the world have fared in the last eight years. The project will focus on the Bush administration as it opens on January 2001 and ends with Barack Obama’s speech delivered November 4, 2008, to mark the end of an era.

“We tried to be even handed and fair in our treatment of the Bush administration,” said Ted Koppel. “We are serious journalists, after all. The special will document the lies and incompetence of Bush and his cabal of Torquemada worshipping sycophants. But we will stick to the facts and be as unbiased as possible.”

“You see,” chimed in Dan Rather, collaborator on the PBS special. “We will delve deeper into what went wrong the last eight years than just the war and the economy. But we don’t judge. Is a mosquito wrong to suck blood and spread disease? No, of course not. Same with Cheney and the rest. They’re just being themselves.”

“The difference with us is that we will cover the good things Bush did, too,” said Mr. Koppel. “The normal Bush-Hater will say there has been a non-stop, daily cascade of evil flowing from the Bush White House. But we also cover October 25th, 2007 when nothing illegal was done… See, that day didn’t suck.”

“And May 14th, 2006 was a beautiful day in DC,” continued Mr. Rather. “They didn’t screw that up.”

[lostnotforgotten]

1. Is There A Link For This?

eom

[20score]

6. I wrote it. So, here's the only link I have.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=4750942&mesg_id=4750942

[ColbertWatcher]

23. Here's a link ...

http://www.wikiality.com/Ted_Koppel#Famous_Quotes

[20score]

28. Wow! You did that fast. Thanks!

[ColbertWatcher]

34. Me!?

That has been there for a long time.

*cough*

[Vickers]

2. "They’re just being themselves.”

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[AspenRose]

3. It'd be nice if that were true

:rofl:

[liberalmuse]

4. WRONG!

The past 8 years has consistently sucked. As one who has been paying attention, every day has been, 'What fresh hell is this??? Bush has 100% consistently sucked. I can personally attest to the fact that there have been no good days since that asshat was sworn in 8 long years ago.

[SammyWinstonJack]

5. bu$h never did any thing good.

[20score]

7. Hola Blue State Native.

I hope peope know this is satire.

[SammyWinstonJack]

10. I am sure they do.

[madamesilverspurs]

17. Yes he did.

As far as we know, he stopped procreating.

[varelse]

8. one day I'll learn

to look at the original poster's name before I look for the Onion link ;)

[20score]

11. You rock!!!

[LiberalHeart]

9. Laughing my fanny off.

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22. Thanks!

[lonestarnot]

12. Ugh no. No there weren't any days that didn't suck! Koppel must have a fever.

[NoPasaran]

13. I have to admit these "Forever" stamps are a good idea

It's not like they make up for Iraq or Katrina or Gitmo or torture or economic collapse or the Patriot Act or No Child Left Behind or any of the rest of it but I like the stamps.

[Ichingcarpenter]

14. May 14th 2006

Sunday, May 14th 2006
21:09Blasts kill 14 at Baghdad airport
related places: Baghdad

In these and other incidents around the country:

At least five civilians are killed when a bomb aimed at a police patrol explodes on Palestine Street in the east of Baghdad

At least three people are killed and another 13 injured by a roadside bomb planted in the Sunni-dominated district of Adhamiya in the north of the city

Three civilians are killed when a bomb detonates at a vegetable market in the southern Zafaraniya district of the Iraqi capital

Insurgents and police clash in the northern Iraqi city of Mosul, leaving one policeman dead

Two civilians die and nine are injured in a bomb attack targeting a US military convoy in Mosul

Police in Karbala find the bodies of five people who had apparently been kidnapped.


http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/4769633.stm

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15. There would be no day I could find when something didn't happen.

But, then there would be no joke.

[Ichingcarpenter]

18. Actually nothing happened in the US that day, I had to use 3 searches

The loss of Iraqi lives is terribly tragic and has to faulted to Bush for his invasion.


I used this :http://www.maplandia.com/news/2006/may/14/

and wikipedia to see if Koppell was on the mark.
I have to say he was pretty accurate
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/May_14

[blues90]

16. The hell with Koppel !

My permanent image of this freak is him standing in Iraq stating what an awesome precision killing machine the US was while we shock and awed Iraq.

[JerseygirlCT]

19. That's too funny! nt

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25. Thanks Jerseygirl!

[ihavenobias]

20. I may have said this before but it bears repeating.

Your satire points out just how absurd so much of the MSM is. I mean the simple fact that it sometimes gets mistaken for real journalism...

K & R

[opihimoimoi]

21. This is SERIES SHIT...Ted can go fuck himself....he shouldn't be so cavalier re Bush

[ixion]

24. everyday that ass clown and his cabal have occupied the WH has been

a very, very bad day for our Republic.

Koppel should be ashamed of himself.

[hbskifreak]

26. yeah, but.....

Another terrific piece of SATIRE.

And yes, I know that it would be difficult to actually find a day without any illegalities, as the following links will show, those two days were, as usual, very typical and brutal days to exist as an Iraqi.

http://www.iraqbodycount.org/database/incidents/page248
http://www.iraqbodycount.org/database/incidents/page72
http://www.iraqbodycount.org/database/incidents/page71

And since the Iraq war began, there were, as far as I could tell, incidents documented on every single day ever since. Some days had ghastly numbers of victims, some days had only one or two victims, but every single body put into the ground from that war belongs to Bush.

But in the United States, I do particularly remember what a pretty day May 14th, 2006 was.
As I recall, Cheney did take a break from his blood-lust thirst-quenching that day. There were no reported missing white women (in the USA or in Aruba) and I overheard someone who knows Cheney that he was fasting that day in order to pray to his almighty, Dracula.

http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/headlines/cheney-comes-out-of-the-coffin/

Great work bro. Keep on keepin on.

A

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27. Thanks My Man!

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29. Shit, didn't even notice I passed 1000 posts.

[punkin87]

30. Funny, as always! K&R.

[suede1]

31. K & R! LOL!

[Z_I_Peevey]

32. You had me until the Dan Rather quote.

He would have said "A Texas-sized mosquito" and "10 gallons of blood."

Very funny! Good job.

[20score]

33. Thank you!