Senator Corker: “We Don’t Hate Poor People, We Want Lots More Of Them”

[20score]

“Sure we hate unions and everything they stand for,” said Senator Mitch McConnell. “The higher wages, better benefits… and don’t even get me started on pensions. But it’s not just about that, you know.”

“He’s right, but we’re being misrepresented in the media,” drawled Saxby Chambliss. “They’re asking us unfair questions like ‘how could you give trillions to the financial institutions and refuse to pay less than five-thousand dollars a piece to save three million jobs?’ Well, it’s takin’ the whole thing outta context!”

The Republican Senators had called a hasty press conference after stalling the auto manufacturer's loan. Mitch McConnell had gathered those Senators who felt they were being attacked and maligned in the “liberal media.” Orin Hatch and Jon Kyl were in the process of fighting for time at the podium.

“Okay, it may not LOOK good to give all the money we have to the banks,” said Jon Kyl. “And it may look like we’re traitorous, greedy bastards willing to sell the country down the river for ideology in a race to the bottom – hey!” Kyl said when Tom Coburn elbowed him to quiet down. “Well… anyway.” He finished.

“The point Senator Kyl was trying to make,” picked up Senator Corker. “Is that we don’t just ‘hate’ the unions, we hate the middle class! Now I hope you guys can back us on that? I mean they’re always begging, ‘Give us a wage we can live on.’ ‘One person getting sick shouldn’t make a whole family homeless.’ ‘We voted you in to represent us.’ Well, I think I speak for all of us here when I say - we’ve had enough! That’s why we’ve decided to not just represent the very rich by giving them everything they want and then some; but we will also represent the poor by increasing their numbers. See, we don’t hate poor people, we want to make lots more of them!”

At that the Senators applauded in unison.

[ihavenobias]

1. K &R, Happy to be the first comment.

[rucky]

2. and heads explode in 5...4...3..

[pleah]

3. Rethuglicans are the craziest sheeple.

:crazy:

[DemReadingDU]

4. link?

[20score]

5. That always cracks me up.

[Kajsa]

35. Without a link,

we can't verify squat.

Crack up all you want.

One Dem website won't keep your post up,
if it contains quotes, without a link to the source.

As it should be.

Transparency and accountability in posting.

[DireStrike]

36. You're taking it too far, or you missed it entirely.

Either way - stop, back up, take a deep breath and a look around.

[Jazzgirl]

37. Can you spell

S A R C A S M?

[Kajsa]

39. Yes, but with some of the OPs

here it's hard to tell, especially without
the smilie.

You've seen the responses with,

" you forgot the sarcasm smilie".

Sometimes they didn't.

[TankLV]

48. obviously lost on too many here...

but can you blame them - really?

I mean, the selfish greedy repukes (but I repeat myself here) have been getting more brazen and open about what they truly believe and think - witness the recent gooper primaries with "Joe the LYING COUCH" and his idiot dumbass beauty queen...

This is really not a far stretch to believe these asswipes actually said this - we know they all say it "in private"...

[NashVegas]

68. I Didn't Think It Was Sarcasm

But satire.

And I think I'm getting conservative in my old age, but if someone can't get that it was fiction, intended to be perceived as fiction, screw 'em.

[liberalitch]

40. More likely....

I want a link that will prove that that is NOT really what they want.

Sarcasm or not..... look around.... the past 8 years is verification enough.

[Kajsa]

41. I'm not disagreeing with the OP

one bit. Far from it.
He is absolutely correct.

Those jerks are union busters and don't care
one bit about the workers.

They have proved it over and over again.

What baffles me is how can any worker vote for them?

[suede1]

44. When something is obviously satire, what will the writer link to?

[Kajsa]

45. same response here,

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=4640497&mesg_id=4645326

[WyoHiker]

10. Yes. Please, Provide a link / source. nt

[20score]

11. Was going to say welcome to DU. But you've been a member longer than I.

[WyoHiker]

13. Well... Welcome to DU 20score

I guess I think Republicans can be pretty stupid. Given Larry Craig as just one small example, there's almost nothing they could say or do that would surprise me.

Perhaps they are more gullible than me, too. :dunce:

[20score]

20. Thanks!

[alphafemale]

31. Oct 2006. 19 posts. That has to be some kind of record...right?

He has remarkable restraint, I guess.

:D

[WyoHiker]

34. OOOOHHHHH, a record! What do I win?

My restraint ain't all that great.


The reasons for not too many posts go along the lines of:

Not wanting to be a smartass
(in spite of a whole lot of natural talent and practice at being such),

and not wanting to piss anyone one off
(too badly),

and not spending a whole lot of time in here since '06
(We win the House of Reps and then, rather than draw down war funding, they give us the Surge? wtf!!)

and having really screwed up one of my first posts badly
(Very much like Emily Litella ranting about her opposition to "Strippers in the Gaza" on an old SNL Skit),


I figured out that, 'round here, I was probably best off to keep quiet.

[alphafemale]

38. smmooches for the Emily Litella reference.

:hug: :loveya:

[liberalhistorian]

15. ROFLMAO. Come ON, you really

can't tell that that was satire? LOLOLOLOLOLOL.

[ColbertWatcher]

29. Here's your link ...

http://www.wikiality.com/Bob_Corker#Bob_Loves_Poor_People

[20score]

50. Cool! I didn't know this site existed.

[ColbertWatcher]

54. You're welcome! n/t

[immoderate]

6. K&R

--IMM

[2Design]

7. kick the whole bunch out n/t

[sarcasmo]

Hey, family values voters, yes you dummies. The right has used you and you still don't gett it.

[20score]

9. Yes they have.

You'd think they would start to get it after Bush admitted he doesn't take the Bible literally. (Usually that's a good thing, but after pushing fundamentalist BS for eight years....)

[sarcasmo]

17. My Brother In law says he is now an Independent, he is looking for a new party.

Hardcore winger four years ago, trying to destroy the UAW has turned one voter.

[acmavm]

43. And I think more of that is happening than we know. Repubics amaze me

with their absolute lack of self-control. Look at 'em. They've been on this wild ass wingding to destroy the country for years, and none of 'em have bothered to hide it. And like some (Tom DeLay's remark to a Washington D.C. waiter, "I AM the federal government") they're arrogant and nasty about it. And you want to know why? Pelosi and Reid and the blue dog dems. They know they can get away with it. And so it gets worse with time, and they get more obvious.

But this, the outright glee at the destruction of the economy for millions of American workers (remember one in ten jobs is effected by the American auto industry), is beyond the Pale. Their drunken giddiness at how low they've brought the country down to has made them fucking STUPID. So now they're openly giving the American people the old screw you while they're handing the criminal rich everything this country has to offer by way of money, power, a free hand to use whatever means they want to destroy the environment, allowing the US military to operate on US soil against citizens (the new deployment of soldiers to 'protect the homeland ' against domestic unrest, etc.), the 'bush** doctrine, and every nightmare that the Founding Fathers tried to protect us against.

There seems to be a kind of unspoken rule anymore amongst the majority of the American people. They will sit still for anything the government pulls if it is presented in terms that give people the illusion that their best interests are being protected, that someone is watching over them to keep them safe. So, like the Reagan years and the past 8 years, the dumbasses in this country have been content to be ruled (yes I do mean ruled) by a bunch of thugs and criminals. And the thugs and criminals have gotten away with it because enough people had jobs, there was money to go to Wal-Mart. BUT NOW THE CRIMINAL'S HAVE TAKEN ALL THE MONEY AND KILLED OFF ALL THE JOBS. People are losing their homes. People are going hungry. But we're giveing 700 billion dollars to the rich, the very criminal thugs who brought us to where we are today. And theye're telling that infamous American Joe Six-Pack to fuck off and die.

That was where they went too far. And they're PUBLICALLY thumbing their noses at the very people they took the money and the jobs from. Very, very stupid thing to do.

[CTyankee]

33. Oh, you leftie, you! You never learn! "Traditional family values" mean more

than mere material gain. Whatssamatta, you?

:rofl:

[sarcasmo]

8. self delete, dupe

[BrklynLiberal]

12. If they were given sodium pentothal, that is EXACTLY what they would say!!!

[Kansas Wyatt]

14. In a perfect world...

They should be dropped off behind a UAW Union Hall to explain themselves.

But in a perfect world, Republicans would have gone extinct long ago.

[BrklynLiberal]

18. True. Very true.

[JNelson6563]

59. One of life's few certainties.

:toast:

[Iwillnevergiveup]

62. Even without the sodium pentothal

I believe they say these things privately. And proudly.

[Enthusiast]

67. They do, I've heard similar words

from right wing fucks before. I have had two tell me that "You have to keep workers hungry so they will work hard."

Hey, their core belief is, wealth = virtue. While a lack of wealth = laziness.

[Diclotican]

69. Enthusiast

Enthusiast

"You have to keep workers hungry so they will work hard."

But not TO hungry, because if they do, they CAN and WILL revolt... And trow the right wingers out of control, and maybe even out of life... We know the Great French Revolution, and the Russian Revolution... And both revolution was in large part hunger revolution against a regime who doesn't care to much as long as THEY got what THEY wanted..

Diclotican

Sorry my bad english, not my native language

[Enthusiast]

71. You are right.

Not too hungry.

[Iwillnevergiveup]

63. Even if they were not given sodium pentothal

they would say it privately among themselves. And proudly.

[Iwillnevergiveup]

64. Whoops

Sorry - duplicate post more or less. But at least things stay kicked.:smoke:

[The Magistrate]

16. Well Done, Sir....

[20score]

19. Thanks very much!

Appreciated.
But, as I'm sure you can tell, these people pissed me off.

[frankowen7]

21. K&R.

[Number23]

22. "The Republican Senators had called a hasty press conference"

The minute I saw "had called" I knew this wasn't real! :) There's no way a self-respecting news editor would let that slide by.

But come to think of it, I've seen so many badly written AP stories lately that maybe I should rethink that statement...

[20score]

24. .

Your ellipsis is wrong.

[Number23]

56. Ellipsis, also known as "triple-dot punctuation mark"

There is nothing wrong with my ellipsis.

And please don't tell me that my mild comment about your use of "had called" caused you to get all bent out of shape. It's not a big deal nor was it a criticism.

[suede1]

46. No need to insult. I thought it was well wriiten.

[sandyd921]

23. K&R!

[20score]

25. Thanks! Appreciated.

[hbskifreak]

26. like a bad B movie....

You can almost taste the stench of fat, southern-fried scum bag in the air. Why do all Americans hate America? We should all be doing our patriotic duty of spending ourselves into bankruptcy.

I mean, it used to be my catch phrase "somebody has got to pay for these wars in Iraq and Afghanistan...might as well be me." That was yesterday, today it's "somebody has got to pay for these wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the insurance market bailout, the banking sector bailout, the stock market bailout, the housing market bailout, and the auto industry bailout....it might has well be me, my kids, my grand kids, my great grand kids....and so on."

A

[20score]

27. Thanks for the K&R, my man.

[Swamp Rat]

28. The House minority were clapping too.

:party:

[20score]

30. Great picture!

[PatSeg]

53. Well done!

You really captured them. These guys have to go! Their time has passed.

[myrna minx]

32. K&R n/t

:applause:

[Better Believe It]

42. That was very funny and well written Keep writing!

[20score]

47. Thanks!!

[pmdsyr32]

49. senator corker

has a lot of nerve talking about the uaw having to good of pensions. what about him and all the senate. they draw their FULL SALARY FOR LIFE AS A PENSION and we the taxpayers foot the bill for that scam. figure that out they think they are better than us. vote them all out and start over.

[DUlover2909]

51. That's spot on and pretty funny!

Well done.:D

[PatSeg]

52. Too late to rec

but I'll give it a big kick!

You summed it up perfectly!

[Seldona]

65. Agreed.

:kick:

[Rosa Luxemburg]

55. Senators Corker and McConnell would think differently "if the shoe was on the other foot"

maybe if their wealth was stripped from them and they had to go on welfare they would think differently.

[Yes We Did]

57. This would be so much funnier...

if it wasn't how they really felt.

[JNelson6563]

58. I remember the days when a brilliantly satirical post

didn't result in a thread full of squabbling. I miss those days.

Fabulous OP BTW. :toast:

Julie

[20score]

60. Thank you! You rock!

[Chisox08]

61. This would be so much funnier if it wasn't true

Please allow my to use this in an Email to my RW cousin. :toast:

[20score]

72. Please do!

[Mendocino]

66. Jim Bunning (R-senate) Kentucky

Former Detroit Tigers pitcher, Baseball Hall of Fame member, was dropped from a lucrative autograph session in the Detroit area. Reason: he voted against the auto industry loan guarantee. Not welcome in gasoline alley. IMO declined to attend at his own request. Could you see him sitting there while a block long line of disgruntled autoworkers insulted him? Go back to Kentuck Jim and vote to rape some more mountaintops.

[lovuian]

70. there needs to be a revolution these men are not representing

the people