BREAKING: Truckloads of bootstraps passed out by Bush administration.

[arcadian]

In an act of unprecedented charity, the Bush administration today passed out bootstraps to each and every U.S. citizen. When asked for comments, out going U.S. President George Bush said, "We've done all that we can do, it's up to the American people to act now." The bootstraps are to be a stop gap for further economic decline. The unprecedented buy out of the bootstrap sector sent bootstrap stocks soaring, the only postive in an otherwise dismal market. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson commented, "Hey fuck it, it's worth a shot. I got nothin' here."