I Am Seething. Please Help

[Dinger]

Just had a major fucking blow up fight with my fucking husband, so maybe I should wait to post this, but what the fuck, I'm pissed.

Now, before I explain, he is a Democrat, and is voting a straight ticket. However, after going out for a Friday fish fry (Wisconsin), I drove home because he had those beers. I drank Diet Pepsi. Anyway, I was telling him that my mom said her husband (my stepdad, 68 years old) has been working too hard lately. Thinks he's a kid, I don't know. He had a (relatively speaking) check up with a heart doctor about a year ago or so, and Mom said he seemed tired lately. Hubby says that's probably expected, and that he seemed fine tonight. He seemed to blow it off, and one thing led to another, and he started yelling (as I'm driving) and twisting my words around. Then he calls me a "stupid liberal." I asked him if he had any idea what liberals have done for this country, going back to he beginning. He just kept on with some "You just want to spend, and I'm the only one that wants to put money in the back, etc." Calls me stupid again. I asked, "O.K. asshole, EXPLAIn why EXACTLY I am stupid." No response, just repetition of hannity, ru$h type shit. He claims he listens to only 5 minutes or so of hannity on the way home from work. Probably true because he listens to sports a lot (so do I). The bullshit just continued, until I said "This conversation is over." He kept on for a bit, then finally shut up. Anyway, one of the last things I said was,"I'm gonna get you a might long fucking list of what great things liberal, progressive Democrats have done for this country and the world, and you'll read it. (He will). So, the help I need is, can someone please oh please get me a list?

I'm going to post this now. Hope I don't regret it.


P.S. PM me if you want. Thanks. Also, I'm not a shrinking violet. I have my say, forcefully and often. I swear, I think he can't handle my having a college degree, and making more money than he does, the fucking ass.


P.S. P.S. His wallet will be $100 short in the morning.

[frogcycle]

1. I strongly recommend dropping it

seriously

it's nothing

chill out and laugh about it.

over time, you can bring up stuff like voting rights and social security, medicare, peace corps... but don't wave a list in his face

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

2. The educational and wage difference...

May well have something to do with this. Seen it before.

And the beer doesn't help in these situations, usually.

[begin_within]

3. Make it look like an accident

[Dinger]

4. I Like The Way You Think

:evilgrin:

[Kittycat]

5. Does he make a point of calling you stupid sober? Or only when he drinks?

I'm not big on verbal abuse, and outward displays of hatred in a marriage. Given that I've gone through one nasty abusive marriage, and all.

Anyway - I think about the best thing you can give him, is the phone number for a marriage counselor. So that the two of you can work out that aggression, and his unnatural hatred for people that really only want to do more for others (AKA "liberals").

Probably not what you wanted to hear.

[Dinger]

9. That's O.K.

We probably need one. But I won't go into it too much here. He fell asleep in a chair just now. I'll follow up with the results.

[yardwork]

11. I was thinking the same thing.

[WorseBeforeBetter]

6. Project for the Old American Century

I wouldn't lift the $100, but that's just me. Maybe spend it on marriage counselling? Or is everything out of alignment just because of the upcoming election? I think we're all a little nuts...

[CoffeeCat]

7. LOL!

You go girl!

I'm not making light of your situation, but your post made me laugh when I saw your, "P.S. P.S. His wallet will be $100 short
in the morning."

You've got some fire in the belly and there's no doubt that you can hold your end of an argument.

Alcohol does strange things to some people. I am hoping that you get an apology in the morning. No one
should call anyone stupid.

This election is making everyone bonkers. It's to the point that I can't even watch the news or political
programming any more. It's so vicious and outrageous. My husband and I watched Hardball, Olberman and Rachel,
and we were eating, and my husband was moody. I asked him what was wrong and he said, "I just can't take
this any more. It's nuts."

Everyone is stressed and wanting this election to be OVER!!

I can't even imagine the venom on right-wing radio right now. I don't dare turn it on. They're usually
bonkers, and I'm sure they're over-the-top bonkers now.

Take care and give em hell! :applause:

[babylonsister]

8. Here's two, but

google has tons of stuff. You have to weed out the r/w rants, but that's a given.


http://denver.yourhub.com/Longmont/Stories/News/Politics/Story~526549.aspx

Liberals will save the country, again.
Contributed by: Bing Van Gorden on 9/27/2008

Back during the Republican Great Depression that FDR inherited things were so bad, Mussolini and Hitler, fascism, didn't look half bad. It wasn't because of liberals, it was because capitalism had failed so miserably. Roosevelt was considered to be very friendly to big business before becoming President but something changed that made him recognize that that wasn't the best thing for the country. So he and the Democrats began to implement rules and regulations that prevented banks and other business from meddling in things they shouldn't.

Sadly there have been Republicans who want nothing more than to kill FDR's New Deal. Eisenhower once called them "stupid." I'm sure he'd be disappointed with his party today. These Republicans argue that the Government has no right to interfere with business and doesn't owe anything to the citizenry. Government, they argue, should just get out of the way. Well they've had their way the past 3 decades. They've done their best to ruin the New Deal and gone beyond that.

Let's look at some of the failures of this theory. Because of "free" trade and "free" markets we've seen sensible protections for our work force go out the window. It's actually a desirable thing for companies to outsource work over seas. Our ports are owned and operated by foreign entities thanks to this brand of capitalism. Speculators can speculate about their own products controlling the price. Profit is paramount but at what cost? Jobs lost, a smaller work force, stagnant wages, pensions denied, health care inaccessible for far too many.

We've seen what happens when the party that believes Government is useless is governing. They prove their point, not because they're right, because they're lazy. Infrastructure crumbles and their solution is to privatize. Going to war, privatize. Schools are failing, privatize. Ignoring the obvious truth, not everything is driven by a profit motive, they insist that only the private sector can deliver the best solution. Of course they have to throw billions of our tax dollars at these new enterprises to do this. Why re-enlist when you can work for a military contractor that will pay you several times more and provide you with better equipment? Who's paying for the private soldier and the GI? You and me. But somehow, in their twisted surreal universe this is a good thing.

Here we are again. Thanks to the free marketeers scaring everyone with specters of socialism and communism, there's a liberal behind every tree! What an ungrateful bunch these uber capitalists are. This country was founded by liberals. This country was founded on principles of fairness and slowly we are making that more perfect union, when these guys get out of the way of course. It took a liberal, Teddy Roosevelt, to understand labor was our most valuable commodity and monopolies were counter to fair business practices. Franklin Roosevelt had the public will to fix the system and built the greatest country in the world with the strongest middle class and the best economy. Our jobs were protected, so were our shores.

There is nothing in the Constitution that establishes rights to corporations or industry. History has shown when government remains hands off of business, business dominates peoples lives. The Constitution does the opposite of this. It is designed to protect the citizens from business if need be, all enemies foreign and domestic. Strangely there are some that have this attitude that it is inherent

Last night during the 1st Presidential debate between McCain and Obama, the Republican once again used the term liberal as a negative to describe his opponent. Smile when you say that Senator. We have to undo 3 decades of damage to our economy you helped create. Liberals will again right the ship conservatives took way off course.

and...


http://www.prospect.org/cs/articles?article=a_liberal_shock_doctrine

[asdjrocky]

10. Here's a short list-

If you are a woman, and you like to vote, thank a Progressive.

If you like electing your own Senator, thank a Progressive.

If you like not getting sick when you drink from our water supply, or eating from our food supply, for that you can thank a Progressive.

If you like the roads, bridges and dams across our great country, for most of that, you can thank a Progressive.

And who are some of those Progressives you need to thank? Here's a short list:

Jane Addams - Pioneer in the field of social work who founded the settlement house movement through the establishment of Hull House in Chicago, Illinois.

Margaret Sanger - Educated urban poor about the benefits of family planning through birth control. She founded the organization that became Planned Parenthood.

W.E.B. DuBois - Founder of the NAACP, and a Harvard-educated professor who focused on the need for a traditional liberal arts education for African-Americans who could then insist upon equal treatment and rights from white society.

Ida Tarbell - She was a great muckraker, much like the OP. She wrote: "History of Standard Oil Company" She exposed the ruthless tactics of the Standard Oil Company and because of this, in Standard Oil v. U.S. (1911), the company was declared a monopoly and broken up.

Lincoln Steffans - Wrote The Shame of the Cities, published in 1904. His book examined political corruption in cities across the United States, and because of him cities began to use city commissions and city managers.

Upton Sinclair - Author of The Jungle, he investigated dangerous working conditions and unsanitary procedures in the meat-packing industry. And we can thank this great Progressive writer for the Meat Inspection Act and Pure Food and Drug Act.

We can also, of course, thank a Progressive for things like the Secret Ballot, the ability to Recall bad officials, and one of my personal favorites, Direct Primaries, and what would we all be fighting about with out that last one?

[Two Americas]

14. good stuff

Hey Rocky! Good to see you.

[asdjrocky]

16. Hi ya buddy!

Yeah it's from a piece I did last year around Christmas time. Damn it's good to see ya, how ya holding up?

[Two Americas]

27. still fighting

Think about you. Hope all is well.

[yardwork]

12. This isn't what you asked, but I feel moved to observe...

that this seems to be over something a lot more personal than the election. Your husband had some beers so you drove home. While you were driving you talked about your stepfather and your concern for his health. Then your husband starts yelling and twisting your words around. He calls you stupid.

Please consider talking with a marriage counselor. If your husband won't go with you, go by yourself. I hope that everything will be ok. Hugs to you from a DUer.

[bhikkhu]

13. I am inclined to think that, in marriage, nothing is ever really dropped. So...

My short list of accomplishments of the "liberals" (not just in this country) would be:

The establishment of Democracy as a form of government outcompeting monarchy

The notion that religious freedom is a good thing

The abolition of slavery around the world

The extension of voting rights to women

The banning of child labor in much of the western world

The 8 hour work-day, lunch breaks, and weekends off work (entirely Liberal!)

There's more about it on Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liberalism_in_the_United_States

I am most fond of Tuchman's "The Proud Tower", the first three or four chapters, for a good clear overview of the politics here and in Europe when much of the above was battled over.

Good luck.

[Two Americas]

15. sorry

Sorry to hear this.

Speaking as a guy, I think he is feeling insecure and useless. You can say "too bad! Get over it!" of course. But if you can go the opposite direction, not easy of course, I am betting he would come around.

[TexasObserver]

17. Booze + Resentments = Asshole

It's a formula.

Make his drunk ass walk home next time.

[sweetladybug]

18. Ask your husband if he would like to read about Joe Republican

A Day in the Life of Joe Republican

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and that they work as advertised.
All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too.

He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.

Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for the laws to stop industries from polluting our air.

He walks on the government-provided sidewalk to subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union.

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

It is noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime. Joe also forgets that his in addition to his federally subsidized student loans, he attended a state funded university.

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards to go along with the tax-payer funded roads.

He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans.

The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day. Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have
:patriot:

[MadrasT]

21. That is just AWESOME!!!

Thank you for posting this. Bookmarking for later.

[susanwy]

24. Just sent this response out to my address list!

:yourock:

[morillon]

19. That Rush/Hannity stuff is a poison.

It's a toxin to the mind, and he needs to avoid it, if he wants to avoid being indoctrinated in a cult. Seriously.

[mgc1961]

20. Put the ball in his court.

Ask him what the conservatives have done that's so great? And remember, conservative is not by definition, Republican. It was conservatives that resisted the abolition of slavery.

I would also point out that his use of the word liberal is a political definition. Personally, I like the word conservative when used as a general description of someone who exhibits a healthy degree of civil restraint. I also like liberal for it's descriptive policy of honoring differences. The problem is, many people have much broader, political definitions of those words. They associate such a plethora of political and/or religious evils to both of those words that their use has become toxic to polite conversation about good governance. In fact (IMO), there's really aren't that many issues that truly divide the way the two parties govern. Much of the perceived differences between liberals and conservatives are merely word-weapons manufactured for political combatants to use against one another.

Here's an example. The right-wing likes to hurl charges of "socialist" in regard to liberal or Democrat governance. In my opinion, we all live in and support socialist policies regardless of which party holds the levers of power. It's only a question of which socialist program we chose to spend money on in any given term and how much.

[bkkyosemite]

22. It was the beer. Do what is suggested wait a few days then casually let a little out at a time....

[ColbertWatcher]

23. He's obviously mad about something else.

Did you consider perhaps he's mad because you're agreeing with your mom that her husband can't take of himself?

When was the last time he went to the doctor?

[Fumesucker]

25. Don't listen to him..

It's the booze talking..

It's a cliche but like a lot of cliches there is a very large nugget of truth.

Like Robin Williams says, the third purpose of alcohol is to bring out the hidden asshole in everyone.

One of the reasons I seldom drink is that I then say things that I normally keep to myself, I have a very sarcastic and biting interior monologue that I seldom expose for others to see and when I do I know I hurt people.

Hope things turn out OK for you and your family.

[eilen]

26. Never argue with a drunk--that's the best advice

I learned early, my father was an alchey and let me just say, McCain channels him during debates only my Dad was angrier--we called it his "skelator face". My husband sometimes can't control his alcohol intake at times and can be the biggest idiot/asshole/fucktard (pick one). I won't argue with him. Most always he apologizes for his behavior the next day as I throw it back to him and tell him perhaps he should take a long break from the bottle.

Most of the time they don't remember what their issue is or even that you argued or how intense they were-- the perception is often totally distorted.


If he continues to make comments like that, then pull out your list and disable his car radio. Clearly he is getting programmed while he is in a subautomaton state while he is driving.