Gays must demand acceptance rather than plead for tolerance

[ccharles000]

http://www.nj.com/starledger/stories/index.ssf?/base/news-1/1223784903241940.xml&coll=1

Sunday, October 12, 2008
BY REVA McEACHERN
When people say they are tolerating you, it's probably an indication they don't like you very much, but they're forced to deal with you for one reason or another.

So when during the vice presidential debate earlier this month Republican candidate Sarah Palin said she would be tolerant of gays and lesbians, I knew what she meant.

"If there's any kind of suggestion at all from my answer that I would be anything but tolerant of adults in America choosing their partners, their relationships that they deem -- uh, best for themselves -- you know, I am tolerant," is what she said.

What she meant was that if you are gay, you are an undesirable in this country.

I know because tolerance is a looming cloud of nonacceptance hovering over my head during holiday gatherings with my family. Tolerance forces people to hide in back alleyways and dark corners. Tolerance is "Don't ask, don't tell."

Tolerance leads to bias, which leads to intimidation, which leads to violence, on ourselves or others. And with as much preparation that clearly went into Palin's responses, I don't imagine it was by accident that she chose the word "tolerant" over "acceptance."

Before he was brutally murdered on Oct. 12, 1998, Matthew Shepard, a gay student at the University of Wyoming, could have told you a thing or two about tolerance. As could Sakia Gunn, a Newark lesbian who was stabbed to death at 15. Both were the victims of hate crimes.

[JackBeck]

1. I've always disliked the work "tolerance".

I find it condescending.

(OT: Here's a clip from the documentary about Sakia that I worked on. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXydJ4iHmto)

[xchrom]

2. here's hoping some of our 'liberal friends' read this. nt

[RadicalTexan]

3. Wholeheartedly agree.

Thanks for your many consciousness-raising points on this, and other, issues.

I suspect that in a mere 20-30 years we'll be looking back and wondering how "liberals" managed their cognitive dissonance regarding throwing non-straight-identifying people under the bus. Just like with slavery, women's rights, the civil rights movement, etc., etc., etc.

Gay people = people. Period.

[PVnRT]

4. Exactly, Hold Obama's feet to the fire after he's elected.

Until then, on this issue, it's the lesser of two evils. I hope that the left will not be so caught up in euphoria of getting into power and Bush going away that they forget what got them there.

[BR_Parkway]

5. That has always been my take - accept me or be open in your hatred

I've got more respect for someone like Fred Phelps than James Dobson - at least I don't have to guess where Phelps stands and he, at least, has the courage of his convictions.

Someone like Dobson would love to hate me as openly, but his lust for power/access/money wouldn't be satisfied if came across as bat-shit crazy as Phelps, so he has to find other ways to hate that are more acceptable

[RedLetterRev]

6. Exactly

"Tolerate" seems to imply the necessity to smile to your face only to await the opportunity to stab your back, whilst loathing you 100% of the time.

No.

I am a human being 100% of the time. I treat every single human being I meet with dignity. I want nothing less in return. The rules, as laid out, are very, very simple.

[jjanpundt]

7. I have never, ever, understood the fear, hate, distrust that is

directed at gays. I just find it so hard to believe that a sexual orientation can be that disturbing to so many people. What is it? Why are so many people so hate filled? Is it from religious teaching? Parental teaching? What?

[ccharles000]

8. kick

[xchrom]

9. kick