Just tried to reason with my gay Republican co-worker....

[SpookyCat]

I just feel tired and frustrated right now.

He and I are friends to a degree...he was so supportive and good to me when my parents died, so I know he has a good heart.

Generally we do not discuss politics, b/c we know we are polar opposites, but he brought up an article he apparently saw that said something about saying one doesn't understand gay Republicans is tantamount to bigotry. WHAT? His argument was that one wouldn't say I don't understand how you could be a black Republican.

I was as respectful as I can be, but said yes in fact, I would say to a person of color, why do you belong to a party that doesn't like you? I don't understand and it certainly isn't bigotry to ask (I don't get that argument AT ALL!)

Well, he just gestured at my Barack button on my desk and said, "I don't understand HIM, he's not what he says he is!"

We were interrupted at that point, and I think it's good we were...I don't know where he was about to go with that, but it didn't sound like it was going to lead to good places. First he is my co-worker, and I don't want to know if he's a racist...or whatever...

Anyway...just venting I guess...any thoughts on any of this are welcome.

I thought about revisiting this at his desk, sort of saying, listen...why don't you tell me what you heard about Barack and I can help you sort that out...a lot of untruths...etc....but I'm kind of afraid he's a fox watcher and simply won't hear reality... :(

[SoCalNative]

1. Gay republican

is the biggest oxymoron ever. It's akin to an African-American joining the KKK.

[honkydonkey]

4. My thoughts exactly. Makes zero sense. n/t

[Demit]

16. Like chickens rooting for Colonel Sanders.

[ailsagirl]

LOL

:rofl:

[slackmaster]

21. Welcome to DU

Please don't take it personally, but I think your post shows a lack of understanding of Republicans, gay people, and human behavior in general.

[demosincebirth]

34. Maybe he belongs to the Log Cabin Republicans

[YOY]

2. Gay...and...Republican...

Like wearing white shoes after Labor Day.

[yojon]

3. Gay republican by definition has a problem with reasoning

You are wasting your time. Tell him that Palin will round him up with the rest of his colleagues and that will be it.

[mitchum]

11. No, he probably thinks that Palin would make him a "house queen"...

because he's superior to those "field queens"

[NightHawk63]

5. I have one of those here at work myself.

I love him like a brother, but have never understood the way he thinks. He even said once that it would've been better for Chelsea if BOTH her parents had died. Needless to say, we didn't talk for quite a while after that.

[SpookyCat]

20. THat's the kind of irrational hate that I don't want to see... :(

[Voice for Peace]

6. Revisit it, and just listen to him. Listen until he has said everything he wants to say.

Then, ask for permission to give him your point of view.

Then clear up his misconceptions.

[SpookyCat]

17. Thank you, that's what I was thinking, but I'm nervous about it...

If he was some random whacko I wouldn't be having such a hard time, being so wishy-washy. But I'm afraid of hearing hateful things from him, which would just stab me in my heart.

We have some common ground; I'm bisexual, so I know what it's like to be treated like shit when you're with your girlfriend, and I think that's even worse for men. But how in the name of all that's holy can he hold tight to THIS republican party? If he was a fiscal conservative only, but copped to the train wreck the party has become, I could kinda see...maybe...a little..

but to doggedly hold on now? God I have a headache.

I wish I could just let him go like some here suggest, but it's more hurty than that. It takes me a long time to get to Oh fuck you! with someone I have cared about.

Dammit! Fuck Fox!

[Voice for Peace]

36. Well, you could tell him that you are afraid of hearing hateful things from him,

-- but also that you value him as a friend, and want to know what he thinks, and why.

And then brace yourself... just be prepared knowing in advance what kinds of things he is likely to say. There's probably a checklist of concerns.

I'm being kind of cavalier about this -- I have a good Republican friend and I don't want to see him till this is all over.

The fury that comes up in me -- at the stupidity of anyone being taken in by McCain, the inability to see through the hypocrisy, and so on, just fries me -- I feel like shaking, kicking and choking them.

It is a huge challenge to remain neutral, and listen respectfully. But I do think it's worth practicing.

BECAUSE.. whenever I let someone finish saying what they want to say, without reaction or argument, there is an empty space to be filled in them -- and it potentially can be filled with simple truth, even communicated with kindness. But first I have to let them empty themselves out.

[mitchum]

7. There is nothing more loathsome than a gay republican because they are all too happy...

to have MY party spend political capital on ensuring THEIR civil rights.

They can all fuck off and die. I mean it.

[NightHawk63]

10. I feel the exact same way about Black Republicans.

:banghead:

[SpookyCat]

22. Yes, you're right about that. Easier if I wasn't close to him.

But it's the same thing I try to get through to people who dis liberals out of hand....

Do you like weekends?
Do you like 40 hour weeks?
Do you like sick leave/family leave/vacations?

You get none of that w/o liberals...


But generally speaking the people flinging that shit are what I'd expect, so no cognitive dissonance.

I just don't understand...

[southerncrone]

8. Had no idea there was any such thing as a gay republican!

I don't think I'd waste my time trying to reason w/him. He's obviously schizophrenic.

[slackmaster]

18. You must not get out much

I could probably name a dozen of them among my friends, acquaintences, coworkers, bar buddies, etc.

[a la izquierda]

25. my mom is one...

luckily, her girlfriend "switched teams". to the democrats, thank god. :)

[southerncrone]

26. Your right, I don't get out much anymore.

Just go to work, do necessary errands & back home.

Quite frankly, I don't enjoy most of my fellow citizens anymore, they are mostly loathsome, ignorant buffoons. Live in the boonies, so to speak, for this reason. But this is The South. Looking to relocate somewhere more "progressive" when retirement comes.

[slackmaster]

31. Ah, The South

No wonder you aren't AWARE of the gay Republicans. They're probably all closeted to all except their closest friends.

[southerncrone]

37. No doubt.

We're talking the RURAL South to boot. Ya know, KKK & all that.....

[Chovexani]

9. Sociopathic greed trumps biological characteristics every time

Gay Republicans are like every other form of Republican in that they are selfish and only care about "getting theirs". They have so little self-respect that they don't give a shit that their party hates them, they're not looking for love and acceptance, they just want to perpetuate their own wealth and they feel as if their money and social standing protects them from all the messy discrimination us plebeian queers have to live with. 99% of gay Republicans are well off white males for a reason. They look down on the rest of the community (these would be the assholes in suits always trying to throw drag queens and twink go go dancers out of your local pride parade).

Although I have to chuckle a bit every time a Dem points at Log Cabins and laughs. At least gay Republicans know exactly what they're getting from their party and don't have to put up with this lukewarm face value support to get votes and money and then never actually fighting for our issues when it counts.

[donco6]

12. I'd ask him if . . .

. . . when he's at one of his Republican functions, does he introduce himself and his partner? When he says, "No", I'd ask why not? He'll say something about "that doesn't define me" blah blah. But it will make him think a bit. Everyone else there is free to talk about their family, kids, where they went on vacation and who with - but he can't.

At some point, rational people will start to wonder why they have to always fight just for a place at the table. And when another group is actually INVITING you to a place, it gets easier to make the change.

[EFerrari]

15. Who your partner is at public functions does define you.

:)

Maybe he should go visit some of the CA Yes on Prop 8 ads on youtube.

[SpookyCat]

27. Yeah...at lunch I went to the office in the Castro and gave them a big check!

Such a beautiful day in the City, SFexpat...I highly recommend a stroll down there if you're about. Helped to clear my head a bit.

[EFerrari]

29. Hey, SpookyCat! I'm about to take my girl out for a walk.

Beautiful day. :hi:

[dkofos]

13. I can't understand gay republican.

[Ichingcarpenter]

14. One of life's mystery when greed can outweigh even basic survival.. but

Some of the top Nazis in the Reich were gay which sent hundreds of thousands
to the concentration camps.

[VP505]

19. You might point out to your friend that its

likely the reason he doesn't understand Obama is because he believes the lies and smears that racists have been using as an excuse to not vote for Senator Obama. You might also ask him if Obama is everything those racists say he is, liar, Arab, pals around with terrorists, etc, how did he become a US Senator, a person with a security clearance level just below the President. A person who was voted into the Senate by a district with many many more residents than that of the State of Alaska. How is it possible that he could be all that the other campaign says he is and have fooled that many people plus the FBI, CIA and whoever else investigates Senators after being elected?

[SpookyCat]

24. Oh, that's good...thank you!

[Vinnie From Indy]

23. I know a gay man that claims to be a Repub

A young, professional gay guy that comes into a bar I frequent is an unashamed Republican. On one occasion he and I got to talking about politics and, in short, he simply repeated the same lies that one hears everyday on AM hate radio and FOX News. After listening politely for a while, I simply offered that there was a large chunk of his fellow Republicans that would gladly burn him at the stake as an abomination to their God if given a chance of getting away with it. I also offered that I always thought he was a smart, thoughtful, informed guy and now I know different.

I am unsure if this guy is bone stupid or just trying to be the ultra-contrarian.

[SpookyCat]

30. With my friend it is more complicated, I think...

He is from the bible belt, and has ingrained in him that these are the one and only values...good cowboy values...he has a lot of who he is vested in that self image.

I think honestly, that he's torn a bit...

</armchair psych on/>

He has that strong authoritatian thing one sees in repubs, esp from that part of the world. The "we do not question authority" thing. I have had to defend gay PARENTING to him, for cying out loud! I think there is some self esteme issues, (well, duh!) but I mean...ah...I don't know. I jsut think it's more complicated than If A then B...he's single, b/c he can't find a man out here in Sodom...and part of me is like, you don't like us and our bad manners? Go back to the scary ass place you came from and see how you're treated...(I get frustrated!)

</armchair psych off/>

[elocs]

28. Gay Republicans are like Jews for Nazis. They obviously have a mental defect.

The ultimate example of people who vote against their self interest while favoring people who would persecute them.

[Beregond2]

33. Bingo.

If conservatism is a mental illness (and I think it is) gay Republicans are the sickest of all. They would rather be dogs under the table than humans.

[GoneOffShore]

32. One of my former clients is a gay Jewish Republican.

I lost him when he tried to give me a Bush/Cheney sticker as "balance" back in 2004.

Basically told him that if he wanted to vote for people who hated him, on two counts, that was his business, but I wasn't going to help them get elected so that they could continue their bigotry.

Haven't heard from him since, but it's OK as he and his producer were always more trouble than they were worth.

[iris27]

35. I've never met a gay Republican who wasn't a rich fuck more

interested in getting the estate tax repealed than seeing ENDA passed.

My boss is one of these...ugh. He and his partner had the money to lawyer up and get wills/joint homeownership/POA/etc all taken care of, so he couldn't care less that we'll all be dead before Missouri repeals its "definition of marriage" amendment. Screw the rest of us who don't have thousands to spare for lawyers.

[atommom]

38. I know a gay Catholic Republican. I have trouble understanding his motives too.

Why take the side of the people who are demonising you? :shrug:

(And no, he's far from rich.)