"We're having trouble finding a Republican..............."

[DFW]

I've been asked to be a guest commentator for West German news radio the night of
the election. It's an all-night affair, starting at midnight and going through 9 AM
the next morning (German time). They know where my loyalties lie, and I've been on
before, so they know I'm not a wild-eyed fanatic (I know, I know, little do they suspect..).

To keep balance (in Germany they really mean it, too), they want to find a Republican
to be on with me. The only requirements are that he or she speak fluent German, know
halfway what they are talking about, and can participate without interrupting, yelling,
or trying to dominate the conversation to the exclusion of all others. They called me
today to say the show was still on (rats! I was just invited to an election night party in
Amsterdam with half the Dutch government there--NOW they tell me!), but they were having
great difficulty finding a Republican who fulfilled their requirements, which, it appears,
I do. If they think the local Republicans are idiots (and I've heard some of them--THEY
ARE!!), they should turn on FOX or National Hate Radio some time! The local versions of
them are ACLU members by comparison.

I talked with one of their correspondents who saw the Biden-Palin "debate." At least he
had the same impression I did--Palin did NOT hold her own. She was positively appalling,
and the only main point she managed to make was that she was 100% incompetent to be
a serious candidate for national office (if the GOP wants a cartoon character for VP,
either recruit Roger Rabbit, or bring back Dan Quayle).

[Blue_Tires]

1. have one of the German speaking DUers play the role of 'conservative patsy'

ala Alan Colmes

[DFW]

2. Now there's an idea

After all, the Republicans have been staging so much fake shit all these years,
they probably wouldn't notice the difference!

[SeattleGirl]

4. Check with DUer MissHoneychurch.

She might know of someone who is Republican over there.

[slampoet]

8. Make the GOP'er an "english only" speaker. More realistic that way.

[OswegoAtheist]

3. No doubt.

I think you'd be hard pressed to find one even without hte language requirement.

Oswego "Ich bin ein Springfield Swap Meet patron!" Atheist

[ColbertWatcher]

5. Too funny!

Please see if you can record it somehow and post a link so everyone can enjoy it!

[KansDem]

6. I think I can do it. I'd be happy to help you out!

"...they want to find a Republican" I think I could swing it. I've observed many Republicans in their natural habitat...

"...know halfway what they are talking about" I've often been told I don't know what I'm talking about so I'll have to do it twice as much to be perceived as knowing halfway.

"...speak fluent German" How's this:

Terrorismus!!! Terrorismus!!!

Terroristen verstecken sich unter unseren Betten!!!

"MaCain war POW!!!"

Obama ist Moslem!!!

Freiheit ist nicht frei!!!

Sadaam hatte Massenvernichtungsmittel!!!

"Sagte ich den 'McCain war POW??!!!"

Zu betrachten Sarah ist, ein nettes!!!

Sarah hat Erfahrung, Führung und kann Russland sehen!!!

"...can participate without interrupting, yelling, or trying to dominate the conversation to the exclusion of all others." Read previous comments but without exclaimation points...

What's the pay?

[DFW]

13. I'm doing it for free

They'd probably get you a strudel and coffee if you show up, though.......

[Taverner]

7. Well Adolf Hitler and General Strossner are unavailable

:)

[Lydia Leftcoast]

9. I have a distant Republican relative who speaks German proficiently

Leider wohnt er in South Dakota.

[kenny blankenship]

10. Republicans don't talk to foreigners

Republicans deliver ultimatums to foreigners - in English.
ultimatums, ultimata ? Spellcheck says "ultimatums". Spellcheck is a Republican.

[SalmonChantedEvening]

11. Look for anyone wearing an "Independent Voter" t-shirt.

Chances are they were a pubbie in '00 and '04 ;)

[Bluebear]

12. Just don't refer to "West Germany" :)

[DFW]

14. I didn't

The regional German media is divided up geographically.

The "Westdeutsche Runkfunk" is the local media bundle here,
whereas the "Norddeutsche Rundfunk" is based out of Hamburg, etc. etc.

West German radio/TV is just like North German radio/TV

It is a purely regional designation of where the channels are located,
and has no political connotations whatsoever. I'll be broadcasting
from Köln (Cologne), which is about as far west in Germany as you can get
without slipping over into the Netherlands.

I think Miss Honeychurch is down south somewhere, either Hessia or Bavaria?
Not near here, or else I'd see if I could get her!