Revealed: Democratic blogger talking points for bailout plan

[Newsjock]

To: redacted
From: [e-mail]
Date: 12:34:56 Sun 28 Sep 2008
Subject: Democratic blogger talking points for bailout plan

My fellow Democrats:

As you already know, the House has reached agreement in principle on the terms of legislation that would provide aid to the struggling credit market. As I'm also sure you already know, Americans reject the very notion of such aid by overwhelming margins almost never seen on any issue. Opposition to this plan cuts across party lines, and opposition from Democrats very easily could scuttle our agreement and pose a grave risk to my continued role as Speaker.

My lobbyist friends have invested heavily in making this bailout a reality, and I have promised them that I will deliver it. You and I both know that the global economy is about to enter a period of very deep recession -- if not depression -- and all working Americans will suffer. Our goal is to ensure that the people who truly drive this economy -- the CEOs, the Wall Street executives, the providers of credit -- do not suffer along with them. With no bailout, they too will be dragged into the upcoming economic crisis, and that could prove damaging to several Democrats' campaign accounts. With this bailout, these titans of our economy will be sufficiently insulated from the pain and, therefore, will be able to again provide operating capital to all-important Democratic campaigns in 2010, 2012, and beyond.

The next 24 hours are critical in manufacturing public opinion. Therefore, I am calling upon you to mount an all-out offensive to spread the word in the blogs and online forums you visit. An ad hoc group of bloggers working in unison can very quickly dominate a discussion and drive opinion toward supporting this bailout. Time is of the essence, and it is crucial that you move today to shape opinion before people can discuss the bailout with their co-workers tomorrow.

Please do not be dismayed by the mission I have laid out for you. I know that the next months and years will be difficult for you, especially if you lack the financial resources that I and my fellow congressional Democrats have in abundance. But I am confident that you can understand the need to protect the true life force of our economy, even at the expense of your own economic security. And with your help, my friends on Wall Street will continue to be my friends.

Thank you, and God bless America.

[Newsjock]

1. Oh, and in case you had any doubt

:sarcasm:

[NoUsername]

3. Nah, you don't need the tag.

After all, I'm sure it wasn't in the original email she sent out. ;)

[OakCliffDem]

12. Had me worried

[sendero]

2. It won't be hard to manufacture consent..

.... there are enough chicken-littles, authority-worshipping assholes who actually think that the liars, cheats and thieves that got us here will get us out of we just keep funnelling them the cash.

My disgust with these cretins I cannot contain. I don't think I am a Democrat any more, this is the last straw.

All of you morons who think that throwing your kids' and grandkid's cash at this will make it go away are lowlife slobs that I used to think were all Republicans.

[scarletwoman]

4. Excellent! Rec'd. (nt)

[Junkdrawer]

5. OK, boys and girls. Get out there and sell, sell, sell,

Pretend your jobs depend on it.

[Junkdrawer]

6. One last Big Push...n/t

[HamdenRice]

7. Didn't get that one. But I did mistakenly get an "anarcho-socialist strategy document"

I guess I'm on all kinds of crazy mailing lists, and I never know what's going to come over the transom. Thought you might find this interesting:

To: redacted
From: Tactical Engagement And Battle Action Group
Date: 12:34:56 Sun 28 Sep 2008
Subject: Anarcho-socialist blogger talking points for bailout plan

Let it collapse! Let it collapse! Let it collapse!

Comrades, we are at an historical junture that can only end with the inevitable downfall of the capitalist system and all world historical political systems. Our job is to stay at our keyboards fighting the struggle against Democratic party sellouts.

For purely tactical reasons, our main ideological allies in the struggle at this historical juncture must be House Republicans, the IMF and the University of Chicago economists.

In order to advance our world historical mission, I've recently taken up a code name in solidarity with the revolutionary commanders of Chiapas who use nom de guerres both to avoid detection by the fascists and to rally the people. When I recently attended a rally of Mexican day laborers and laid out my platform, the immigrant workers were so overjoyed to see me that they laughed in solidarity with me and gave me a codename/nickname.

I don't speak Spanish, but I could tell that the name was a great honor. "Pendejo!" the workers shouted, "Pendajo, vayate!" or something like that, which I think means, "comrade, onward with the revolution!" and so I will now be known as "Pendejo the Revolutionary."

In addition, I've re-organized my "cell" into a battle ready tactical unit as we move from advanced theoritization to action: Tactical Engagement And Battle Action Group . For short, we will use the acronym, TEABAG .

Taking our theory to action, we will flood the so called progressive blogosphere with our calls to non-action: LET IT COLLAPSE! FORWARD TO THE NEXT GREAT DEPRESSION AND THE INEVITABLE REVOLUTIONARY SITUATION IN WHICH WE CAN ONLY WIN!

So far the members of my cell are me, my dog, Stompers, and my woman-companion, code named (again by my Mexican immigrant followers who gather each morning in front of the local Home Depot just to hear our politicization), "La Idiota". Actually, La Idiota will not be able to make this evenings meeting because she is baby sitting for her mother's friend. But La Idiota will return to the barricades tomorrow!

In the meantime, Stompers and I will continue our revolutionary propoganda campaign. We have set up temporary headquarters here at Starbucks, and assuming I can still cash my father's allowance check (that the inevitable crash of the banking system has not begun), I should be able to stay here all day.

So flood DemocraticUnderground! Flood DailyKos!

Tactical Engagement And Battle Action Group -- CALL TO ACTION

We will not rest until we have TEABAGGED every so-called liberal blogger on the planet!

REVOLUTION NOW!

NO BAILOUT!

ONWARD TO THE NEXT GREAT DEPRESSION AND NEW NEW DEAL!

Sincerely,

Commander Pendejo

[tandot]

8. I wish I could recommend your post. Did you already post this as OP?

:hi:

[HamdenRice]

9. Yes, I reposted with a title similar to the title here

I can't claim credit for inventing the character, Pendejo the Revolutionary. He was a recurring character on Air America's Morning Sedition.

I borrowed their backstory and decided to "channel" his views on the current crisis.

[moodforaday]

10. Thanks,

but Wall Street most likely doesn't need you to do their fearmongering job for them. They have Bush, Paulson, and it seems they also have Obama. Did you react the same way when Bush was telling you Saddam was going to camp in your backyard and eat your dog raw for breakfast?

That post was funny as satire, but realize you are shilling for the "mushroom cloud" argument.

[HamdenRice]

11. Last time, could you actually see the wmds?

You realize that banks like Wamu are failing in real time? Or do you think that Bush has faked that evidence?