Some people can't eat lunch.

[AirmensMom]

We hired someone to do some roof work for us. He showed up with a young guy -- 20-something whose wife and baby dropped him off. Looks healthy and strong. His young wife already needs some major dental work.

We always stock a refrigerator in the garage with drinks for anyone who works for us. It's a small price to pay for them to stay hydrated and keep up the good work. (Not like it always works that way -- the keeping up the good work part -- but that's another story and doesn't come into this one.) Didn't even think about them needing anything else.

So yesterday harleydad was going to town during lunch break and the boss asked him to pick up some burgers for him. Harleydad asked about the young guy. Young guy says he took diet pills so he wouldn't be hungry. Not trying to lose weight, just couldn't afford to eat. He's working hard to support his wife and baby ... and climbing around on a steep roof without nourishment! (Did he eat breakfast? We don't know.) Boss didn't know that his young worker didn't have lunch to eat. He told harleydad to buy some extra burgers. Now, the boss isn't exactly flush with money either. He charges a fair wage, but work is getting hard to come by.

This morning harleydad went out and bought stuff so I could make sandwiches for both of them. And some chips and lots of extra drinks. We told them not to worry about lunch. Sure, it raises the price of the job, but we are fortunate enough to be able to do it ... for now.

I don't know what the complete story is and it's none of my business. I do know that this young man works hard in the hot sun and is embarrassed by his situation. He was actually worried that we would think less of him because he couldn't afford lunch!

And, by the way, these two are doing a wonderful job for us.

I just wanted to share this.

[trotsky]

1. Richest country on earth, and hard-working people can't feed themselves.

It's depressing what has happened to our nation. Good for you for helping - even though it keeps getting harder for all of us.

[AirmensMom]

4. It's downright scary.

We feel the pinch with everything, especially food and gas. But it was really sobering to see this small glimpse of what this young man is going through.

[Boojatta]

24. Aren't you exaggerating?

Nannies from foreign countries are able to send money home to relatives in those foreign countries. I hope you aren't suggesting that nannies in America are grossly overpaid. The man is cutting back on food, in an effort to support his family. Fortunately under American law anyone who forced him into an arranged marriage would be liable for criminal penalties and it would be possible for him to have such a marriage annulled.

[trotsky]

27. Say what?

I have no idea how what you said has any bearing on my post. Go put up a silly poll or something.

[Boojatta]

28. Nor do I see how your reply to me relates to what I wrote.

[roguevalley]

36. I see a kid who did what my folks did, give up food for themselves

so that we could eat. I don't know what your post means, Boojatta. This kid is working poor and has made decisions about what he can do for himself to help his family get by. The cost to his health is familiar to me having watched my parents have the same love and integrity for me that they would do this to make sure my brothers, sister and I were alright.

[AZBlue]

85. WTF?

Nannies and arranged marriages?
Sarah, is that you?

[donco6]

87. I have no idea what you're talking about. n/t

[Generic Other]

101. YOU MAKE ME SICK

Hope you discover firsthand what it feels like to stand in line for a handout.

[Boojatta]

30. Ever heard of a "starving artist" or "struggling young actor"?

Fortunately under American law one doesn't need government approval to reside in a given American city and one doesn't need government approval to work in a given occupation.

Therefore, a hard-working carpenter has the option of seeking work as an actor. An actor has the option of doing part-time roofing work. And so on.

[pnutbutr]

68. try it

Try moving to a new town or city or changing jobs on a whim when you have little to no money. It's very easy to tell others to do those things but in reality it is difficult.

[AirmensMom]

71. Are you maybe missing the point?

Things are bad everywhere and in almost every occupation. This man has a job, but prices have risen higher than wages, health insurance is out of reach for many, etc. Surely you understand the problems facing every one of us that hit some of us particularly hard.

Yeah, fortunately under American law one can work one or two or three jobs, only one of which is likely to be in one's chosen field ... if one is lucky. One could easily move to another city if one could afford the gas to get out of town and a truck to move one's belongings, which would be unlikely if one can't afford lunch. One might actually get moved to another American city and find things to be just as bad as they were before one moved ... only now there has been extra money spent on the move. (If you've ever moved, you understand how much money it sucks up.)

[mudesi]

76. What a crock

I'm tired of this line.

No, people can't just up and change their jobs. A carpenter may not be any good at acting, and vice versa.

Some people would like to change jobs, but they can't because they need to get an education to qualify. Maybe they can't afford said education. Maybe they have kids to feed and no time to pursue it.

Some people would like to move to a different place, but maybe they can't. Maybe they have an elderly relative that they have to take care of. Maybe their job is only available where they live currently.

Enough.

What is with the influx of conservatives on this board?

[brentspeak]

79. Stupid Post of The Week

The point is -- and I can't believe this needs to be pointed this out -- that a hard-working carpenter shouldn't be starving.

[donco6]

88. And I still have no idea what you're talking about. n/t

[Maine-ah]

91. ok,, I know I probably shouldn't be but, I'm sitting here laughing my ass off

:rofl:

:wtf:

:rofl:

[Forkboy]

116. It's stupidity on a colossal, Republican level.

:crazy:

[roguevalley]

35. the ripple effect of doing something good for another person is

vast and incredible. helping out our brothers and sisters is the meaning of life, really. what else is there to do but to be good to each other?

[TNMOM]

2. Thanks for this.

I'm having guys working on my kitchen, and I do the same. It's tough going for a lot of people. McCain is completely clueless.

[AirmensMom]

3. You are right.

I can't imagine that McCain ever has to skip a meal ... at least not for financial reasons. And he can't relate to anyone who has to struggle. I so much hope we don't have to live through the nightmare of 4 years of him. :scared:

Glad to hear that you do the same for your workers. :yourock:

[Generic Other]

100. I fed the laid off electrician who worked in my house this week too

We are talking about friends and neighbors. I have no idea what Boojata is smoking or drinking, but if he thinks pissing on the troubles of the American worker is the way good Democrats should behave...OMG. That just makes me sick.

Thank god for decent folks like you TNMOM and the OP who extend a hand even when it is a hardship for you!

Screw the ugly Republican sarcasm and indifference to our fellow Americans in need! Boojata deserves to see what the end of the bread line looks liKe. I am sickened by his creepy comments.

[AirmensMom]

105. ...

:hug:

I was just about to give up on this thread. I'm surprised there are so many here who delight in the aforementioned pissing. Thank you for your comments.

[snappyturtle]

5. K&R Thanks for sharing this story. It, and ones like it, should be a feature

on 'news' programs EVERYDAY! I could just cry.

[AirmensMom]

16. I agree. n/t

[seemunkee]

6. Where's his bailout?

Thanks for being so generous.

[Beam Me Up]

7. Great story, thank you. n/t

[The Backlash Cometh]

8. Have you ever thought how much pressure is put on blue collar children?

I've heard their parents talk to them, and it freaks me out a little. Toughen up. Don't cry. Only babies cry. Don't let him push you around, beat the crap out of him if you have to. Why aren't you working? If you can still walk, you ain't sick...

That's the mentality we're dealing with today. People are fighting against their own upbringing, and if they can't escape and excel,they won't let anybody else do it either.

[knitter4democracy]

10. Not just blue collar kids.

I'm seeing that with a lot of kids these days. Heck, I worry about mine, that they don't know how strong they are.

[earth mom]

26. That's a huge brush you are painting with there.

Being blue collar or working class doesn't automatically make someone a bad parent who spews crap like that.

I come from the working class and so does my husband and several friends and I've NEVER EVER heard those words or attitudes coming from my parents mouths or have ever heard them from my husbands family or friends families.

If anything, what I've seen from my family and other working class families I know are good old fashioned values, morals and courtesy that rarely exist these days. Like the Golden Rule, which we were all raised upon.

Frankly, I usually hear the kind of crap you posted from yuppies & rich people who think nothing of pushing their holier than thou attitudes on the rest of the world.

Look no further than * & his family. :puke:

[The Backlash Cometh]

29. No question you get it from both sides.

I have rubbed elbows with lots of blue collar families, and they all raise their boys to be tough. And some of the things they say to them are meant to intimidate the kids into obedience. One father even admitted he got so frustrated with his kid that he flipped him off. But it was a bonding moment because the two burst out into laughter.

[bertman]

55. Backlash, that mentality comes from people who are struggling and fighting for the basics. Or who

think they are.

Most of us Americans no longer live in that dog-eat-dog environment where survival is an ongoing daily struggle. When we run into someone who is in that mode, or who thinks they are, it's a real shock to the system.

Those who live comfortably, whether here or in any country, can afford the generosity of spirit and the expansive approach to child-raising that you are advocating. It's a benefit of a stable and well-provided-for existence. That's one reason that the aristocracy and the burghers were so polite and courteous to each other and thus developed "manners" and "good breeding". Interaction with the comfortable classes is always more genteel.

When you say blue collar I think you must be meaning the menial labor class. Those who are generally uneducated or ill-educated, dirt poor, and living hand-to-mouth. The only time I run into that nowadays is when I'm in a very urban poor setting or a very rural poor setting. Is that what you're referring to? Also, the most recently moved up from dirt poor seem to exhibit more of those characteristics. Maybe because they used those defenses to climb up a long, hard ladder.

Given the way our economy is heading we're gonna be seeing a lot more of the toughen-up, don't cry, knock his eyes out culture. Unfortunately.

[The Backlash Cometh]

70. Blue collar to me is

someone who has to labor with his hands without a special trade: ie. construction or lawn service if he doesn't have a special skill like electrician or owns the lawn service business. They rely on the work from wealthy people and you can believe that they absorb the politics from the people they get work from. In fact, they will repeat all that Limbaugh bile to their senior clients, because it makes their senior clients feel good, which means they might get another job from them since they're "one of them."

[bertman]

82. That's what I thought you meant.

[lonestarnot]

9. This is very heartbreaking. Thank you for being kind and sharing what you can.

:cry:

[Berry Cool]

11. You and harleydad did God's work yesterday.

And you deserve a big :hug: for that.

It's really a shame, what some people are suffering through.

[AirmensMom]

14. It's called

"paying it forward." We've been there. We went two weeks with a new baby and no food in the house -- just milk that a local farmer let us get for free. A visitor noticed our empty-except-for-milk refrigerator and bought us groceries to last a week while our own (republican family-values) families wouldn't help us. Harleydad had a college degree and a full-time job, but his job did not pay well, we had no health insurance, and had huge medical bills from the baby.

We never expected to be in a position to help anyone and we vowed to do what we could if we ever got to that point. I'm very sad for that young family and others like them.

[Posteritatis]

38. Yep

That's how a bunch of people I know handle debts; they consider them repaid if (A) they're repaid or (B) if someone else is helped out to a similar extent with similar conditions. The latter's starting to happen more often than the former; I kind of like that.

[AirmensMom]

41. The thing is

that the people who helped us are long gone or didn't want to be repaid. For all we know, they could have been paying forward themselves. One 90-something-year-old man who gave us $100 for groceries 30 years ago actually told us that he didn't want the money back but hoped we would help someone else when we could. I like this approach. I think it encourages people to help each other more with each iteration.

[Posteritatis]

51. Yeah, I like that

I'm seeing it more lately, and I'm not sure whether that's because I'm aware of it or because it's actually happening more.

Not arguing, either way.

[lapislzi]

112. It's called walking the walk

You are a shining example of the best we can be. Thank you for sharing.

[MissHoneychurch]

12. You are good people

and I know that first hand. :hug:

[AirmensMom]

15. ...

:hug:


So are you. :loveya:

[alarimer]

13. And we are going to bail out rich fucks who have caused this problem.

I'll bet those fucking Wall Street bankers get lunch every day. And it isn't peanut butter sandwich.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

17. Dearest, dearest Friends...

I miss you two. :hug:

You are good people and I am glad to hear that you are still doing good things for everyone who comes into your lives. :)

I am proud to know you and humbled to call you friends.:loveya:

[AirmensMom]

21. Hey there.

We miss you, too. :hug:

And proud to call you a friend as well. :loveya:

[WhiteTara]

18. We hire people through the local

food bank and church work programs. We always buy their lunch. It raises the price of the job so little, and if they aren't hungry, they are able to focus on work. So, I think it is well worth the price of a sandwich.

[Robbien]

25. Now that sounds like a good idea

Going to check with our local food bank to see if they have a work program. We need work done on a few projects here and hiring help through a food bank sounds like a great idea.

[WhiteTara]

31. I like hiring this way

we have found several long term part time helpers this way. Most are recovering addicts and they work on their honesty so I usually don't worry about being ripped off. If they do a really good job, I often "tip" them too. Current day labor rates around here are $10 an hour.


edited for coherence

[Robbien]

37. Finding people

to do jobs around the house is usually a crap shoot anyway. Trying out people who are trying to get a leg up is probably as a good place to start as anywhere. Thanks for the idea.

[WhiteTara]

42. you're welcome

if the food bank doesn't have a program, try the methodist church in your area. They seem to be the ones who do the most in this area.

[JNelson6563]

19. That's another component of being poor

As if doing without basics isn't misery enough but the shame that goes with being so poor is unbearable. I've been there and it sucks. You are very kind to take the steps that you are. So many others would just crinkle their noses at such a situation and judge without mercy.

I commend you for your kindness.

Julie

[ogneopasno]

20. Good God, what is your contractor paying Young Guy?

Bossman should be embarrassed.

[AirmensMom]

22. I don't know.

But I do know he's a fair, decent man who is likely sharing his profit in a fair way. Boss had to borrow a car to get here this morning because he can't afford to fix his truck. Young guy has a baby and probably doesn't have health insurance. This is not the fault of the boss.

[w8liftinglady]

23. my mom routinely brings water and ice to the day laborers waiting for jobs

no small task for a woman on oxygen.She says they are people,too...regardless of their origen,and deserve some human kindness.I love her.

[trashcanistanista]

33. I use licensed contractors. I always, always, always

tip the laborers. I factor it in to the cost of the job and have cash on hand at the completion of the job. I always keep drinks and keep asking them if they want drinks. I haven't noticed anyone go without lunch, but I expect this will be a trend. These guys work hard and they get a hand written thank you card and cash in the envelope when the job is done. I inform the boss that they did a good job and I am giving them something extra. If it is done in a way similar to tipping your waiter, it is the right thing to do. Always, they try to return the money, but I insist and it just makes someone's day. Oh, and I never have to wait in line to have work done on my house in an emergency.

[Dr.Phool]

32. Whenever someone works on my place,

I always put beverages out for them. And, if they're around for the day, I spring for lunch too.

When they put the roof on, a two day job, they got a few beers after work too.

Three years ago, when Hurricane Jeanne blew out all the screens in the pool area, I took care of the guys. Some of the bolts holding the frame to the pool deck were loosened, and they put all new bolts around the bottom to secure it, even though it wasn't part of the job. They never even told me about it. I didn't notice until a couple of days after they left.

It pays to be nice to people.

[trashcanistanista]

34. Absolutely.

It comes back to you every time.

[ColbertWatcher]

39. Good for you. n/t

[undeterred]

40. Seriously, there are food pantries everywhere

Its great that you are helping him, but a food pantry would help in addition. There is probably more help available in the community- see if you can help them find it. The more resources, the better.

[Lars39]

43. You can only get food from some food pantries only so often.

Like once every few months in some cases.

[AirmensMom]

45. And from what I've read,

they're having trouble keeping up.

[Lars39]

46. Good reminder to donate often to local food banks.

[AirmensMom]

47. Absolutely!

Even a can or two will help someone. With the cost of food so high, it's hard for people to donate as much as they might have been able to before.

[undeterred]

48. Once a week where I live.

[Lars39]

49. In other places it's once a month or even less often. :^(

[undeterred]

50. Wow.

That doesnt help much unless they give you a lot.

[Lyric]

60. It's once every 3-4 months here

And no, they don't give much. They can't. The last time we had to get food from a pantry was about six months ago, and they gave us two cans of fruit cocktail, four cans of veggies, a bag of rice, a big can of grapefruit juice, three packages of ramen noodles, a small box of powdered milk, and some oatmeal--for three people. We wouldn't have even gotten *that* much if there hadn't been a small child in the home.

Food pantries are running *very* dry. When we got our student aid a while back, we donated a huge cartload of non-perishables plus some cash to the biggest pantry, and they flat-out told us that they hadn't gotten a donation that big in months. I think it's shameful that the big businesses around town aren't doing their part to help keep these places afloat. If they're going to pay people horrid wages, donating to pantries and collecting the tax write-off is the least they can do.

[Liberal_in_LA]

96. The selection you list is low on protein and fat. And Ramen noodles are awful.

[Lorien]

74. Most food pantries in the US cannot keep up with demand

several DUers who work for them have posted as much.

[donco6]

89. While that's true . . .

. . . you have to take what they have available. Sometimes they don't have much.

[Forkboy]

117. They don't have enough food anymore as people tighten their belts and give less.

The pantries are really being squeezed already. In some around here donations are way down this year.

[dana_b]

44. thank you for caring. n/t

[JustAnotherGen]

52. This was a beautiful to read

Sad, but your generous nature is nice to see/read and know it's going on out there. :hug:

For others - yes - anything you can spare your local food bank would be greatly appreciated. I volunteer at one regularly and never go empty handed. Never.

I know it's easy to just say "Get a job. Got one? Get a 2nd or a 3rd." But we are talking about a human who can't get his basic nutritional needs met. And let's say it - he's an American. Charity, Hand Outs, Hands UP should begin in our backyard, down the street, around the block, in the town . . .

[Raine]

53. Whenever I've had work done the contractor goes

and gets food for the guys that he pays for and I supply the drinks.

[onethatcares]

54. I've been on both sides of the coin.

and I can't tell you how much someone that is working for a living, in the sun, manual labor, appreciates the cold water, the gatorade, the sandwich or anything given to them. If you can, at the end of the job, a small gratutity goes a long way. Even a gift cert from a grocery store (tell him, this is your way of expressing thanx) will go a very long, long way.

May your dreams come true> Peace.

[OakCliffDem]

56. Taking diet pill on the job not to be hungry? Red Flag!

This guy is an accident waiting to happen
Either get him some food while he is working for you, or get him out of there. This ain't good for anybody.

[AirmensMom]

57. As I said in my OP ...

I did get him some food. I'll continue to do so while he's working here.

The red flag was seeing first-hand that people in this country are working hard and not being able to make ends meet enough to be able to afford lunch.

[Honeycombe8]

58. You've been had? Diet pills cost more than bread. nt

[Lyric]

62. Yes, because he obviously purchased them recently.

There's no chance he might have had them around the house, left over from a time when his family had more money, and decided to make use of them in a tight spot. That obviously could never happen, because NOBODY keeps pills in a medicine cabinet. We all buy them on the day we need them, right?

:eyes:

[Honeycombe8]

77. I just looked in my medicine cabinet. Nope. No diet pills there. Of course, a thin,

young man wouldn't have diet pills, anyway, in the first place, right? Right.

Unless, of course, he has street drug connections and did them recreationally.

Oh, I guess they could've been his wife's. But since diet pills aren't paid for by insurance, it's doubtful that a new, young mother having trouble paying bills would have the money for diet pills out of her own pocket.

Let's see....I'm sure there MUST be some other way he got them for free, because he SURELY isn't trying to get food for free. And he SURELY didn't just SAY he had taken diet pills, when he hadn't.

Maybe it's real. Maybe not. I've been around a few years and have had a lot of experience w/workers at my house. It doesn't ring true. Sounds like he got a free meal....and that's fine. I would've gladly fed them.

[AirmensMom]

81. I'm amazed at the number of

judgmental people here.

I've had a lot of experience with workers around my house as well. And most of them have been crooks, including the licensed ones who are members of the NAHB and BB. I check them out, references and all. Sometimes we get lucky and sometimes we get rooked. Here's the deal: if they do the work right and charge the price we agreed upon, I'm happy. My first instinct is to trust them.

The kid didn't call attention to his inability to afford lunch. We're the ones who noticed. He would have happily worked through lunch.

This is a case where, for whatever reason, the kid is working hard and couldn't afford to feed himself. It's a commentary on the state of our country. This is one of many, many stories exactly like it. Who are we to point out everything he may have done that we would have done better, differently, etc., or to question his credibility or motives?

[pitohui]

84. it doesn't ring true to me either

i would not allow someone who openly admitted to taking "diet pills" to work on my property

you can give him lunch if you like but get him the hell off your property, that's a liability waiting to happen

people on "diet pills" (what "diet pills" are available today for cheap other than meth or cocaine?) are not safe on a job site working with tools

my judgement was affected even taking prescription grade diet pills back in the day (dexedrine), these days speed comes from guys in garages using brake fluid not from a doctor

[AirmensMom]

95. Unbelievable.

I have a bottle of diet pills called Hydroxycut. No speed in them. Not even any caffeine. It's been a while since I took one, but it didn't do a damn thing to my judgment or my ability to do what I normally do. As a matter of fact, I didn't notice anything at all, not even a suppressed appetite, which is probably why I've had the same bottle lying around for 6 months.

He shows up on time, works all day, and hasn't made one mistake. He is not "a liability waiting to happen" any more than someone who's had a cup of coffee is.

[AirmensMom]

64. Perhaps ...

but he was embarrassed to not have money for lunch. Maybe someone gave him the pill and he didn't buy a whole package of them.

We don't make people take a test before we help them. If we've been had this time, there's no harm done. He's doing a good job and we don't mind providing lunch for him and his boss.

[Brazenly Liberal]

75. He didn't necessarily buy them

They might have been laying around or someone may have given them to him.

It was a stupid thing to do, but I remember being a young, broke single parent and doimg some pretty stupid things myself. You get in a hole and get desperate, especially with a young one to feed.

[Draill]

94. IF she's been had,

she's only been had for some lunches. If she hasn't been had, she's FED a hungry person. That's a chance I'd take. Many people are too afraid of being 'had' or being a 'sucker' and it makes them miserly with empathy. That's damned sad.

[Romulox]

59. Bad teeth and hooked on diet pills? Do you have yourself a "recovering" meth addict?

[AirmensMom]

61. Bad teeth are not uncommon here.

People don't have insurance and can't afford to see a dentist. His teeth are pretty good -- I just noted his wife's teeth because she's so young.

Why assume the worst about their character?


Edited to say: I don't remember suggesting that he's "hooked on diet pills." I don't know that he ever took them before, only that he took one that day.

[Romulox]

63. In the first instance, I don't consider drug use a failing of character.

"I just noted his wife's teeth because she's so young."

Which is why I asked. It's a reasonable question.

[AirmensMom]

67. I took it that you meant

they were bad news. Sorry.

My kids are older than either one of them and have never had a cavity, so I notice when young people have bad teeth and assume it's because they can't get good dental care.

[Romulox]

69. No. I didn't mean to condemn them. I was more curious/concerned...

On one level, it doesn't matter: even a person working through a drug problem needs to eat (not saying that the worker is, I was just wondering.)

It was very kind of you to help out with the food! :pals:

[AirmensMom]

73. I agree.

Food is a basic necessity and we are here not to judge if someone is deserving or not. I'm glad we're on the same page.

Thank you. :pals:

[Romulox]

65. In the second instance, even though diet pills will make you FEEL less hungry...

They are stimulants, and, as such, will tend to promote even greater amounts of calories to be burned.

[AirmensMom]

66. I realize that.

And he would probably be the first to say it was a dumb thing to do. He did eat 2 double cheeseburgers, after all.

[Bigmack]

72. Hey, the kid just...

made some bad choices. He should have taken daddy's money to go to Harvard - like daddy did. Then he wouldn't be working in the hot sun with no food. Should have invested his money more wisely. Should have not married a woman without a trust fund. Should have held off on having that kid. It's all about personal choice and personal responsibility.

That's the Repub line, of course.

Meanwhile, we're paying off the gambling debts of guys who really know how take responsibility for their actions.. one golden parachute at a time.

[DeschutesRiver]

78. I dunno - seems like for the cost of diet pills he could do what I did

struggling through night school in the late seventies, paying my own way through college, seriously god awfully scary broke and cut off from my wierd family (a blessing).

I always had lunch, my standby was rice/broth, rice and soy sauce, rice and whatever I could scrap up. It is dirt cheap, it was fillng, it was no problem. I was young, single, living in a house with a bunch of others, and am not so sure how come this guy can't do what me and thousands of asians do daily - bring a damned rice deal to work. I remember being so paycheck to paycheck that I'd write and cash checks for $2 at a time, and stretch every single nickel, find the cheapest things on the menu and make a meal out of them.

Probably for this guy, it is more a function of not wanting to be embarassed about brown bagging with his construction buddlies, or not wanting to fill that brown bag daily to take, etc, than about not being able to afford anything at all.

I can feel bad that this is embarassing for him, but looks like it works out better for him this way, since someone ends up feeling bad for him because he doesn't want to pack a lunch, and feeds him.

The people I know that are currently really not eating as much as they used to are those who don't have a job, and won't cook a bag of rice or beans if you give it to them weekly. Or some of the elderly with illnesses and living on fixed incomes, who are too sick to fix stuff from scratch yet can't afford some of the food price hikes for the stuff they can still use.

[AirmensMom]

80. It's sad

that you feel entitled to judge him.

Sounds like he needs to pull himself up by the bootstrap like you did. :sarcasm:

We were broke, too, when we were paying our own way through college, etc. But I would never be so presumptuous as to suggest that others do exactly what we did. And it's fine with me if it "works out better for him this way," because we don't mind helping those whose struggles are a little harder than our own at the present time.

[DeschutesRiver]

83. And really, it is okay with me if you think my response is sad or judgmental

We just aren't ever going to see eye to eye on the futility of this kind of behavior in the long run for a young man like this.

Part of the reason we are in this economic bind to the point of our entire economy being on the verge of collapse, to my way of thinking, is that people are so concerned about seeming "judgmental" that they won't state the obvious anymore. And worse, people don't feel they have a need to listen to other points of view about things.

I was broke; I am not broke now; I have helped a lot of people along the way and will continue to do so. In fact, I have hired tons of construction guys, and know tons more. There is however a limit to how many people I can give a hand too, and I am completely okay with using good judgment to know who needs a hand and who needs a sharp kick in the reality patootie.

It is a disservice to not do that, because otherwise life is gonna run out of hamburgers for this guy, and I think you said he has a wife and a child? From your description of him, yes, he seems entirely capable of making different choices. So I am not inclined to dumb him down over that, but just give him a dressing down over a dumb voluntary choice.

[pitohui]

90. you sure can't help a drug addict by enabling them

what gets me is the guy admits using the drugs and still she's letting him work on her ROOF?

i don't find enabling drug addicts to be particularly admirable or kind, it is a case of it's more important for us to feed our own egos and pat ourselves on the back for "helping" when we are really just allowing or even encouraging the person to continue to destroy himself

[AirmensMom]

93. Wow.

You are so off base it's not even funny.

Since when does taking a diet pill make one a drug addict? And he's doing good work, so what's your gripe?

[DeschutesRiver]

103. You make a good point

there is a vast difference between helping a person vs. enabling a person. This example, esp. because of the diet pill facts, is not hard to figure out, but sometimes it is hard to tell what is needed.

It has got to be a one-sided feel good deal, because how many fast food hamburgers would it take to buy the kid a sack of rice or beans so they can make themselves many many meals? Probably two or three - toss in three more, and you could buy his wife a bunch of chicken and spices to add to that. So more likely, neither the kid nor his wife are so much interested in doing that kind of heavy lifting cooking. They are not incapable of feeding themselves, rather this is working out better for them. Okay, if they are addicts, maybe they could be incapable.

End of the day - I don't have money to waste on giving charity where it is not needed, ie to those who are just scamming others. Other people must have much more available than me to squander their charitable acts. It is their money.

ETA: Everything I mistakenly give to a scammer, or without conditions/education to a person who is really capable, but needs help to see that, is that much less that I can give to someone in true need.

[AirmensMom]

104. Not.

Let's not forget this man is WORKING, not just showing up for lunch. And he's doing a damn good job.

Even if he was a drug addict, which I doubt very much he is, it's not exactly "enabling" to feed him (and his boss and the rest of us) lunch while he's working for us. Oh, and I plan on tipping him and his boss when they're finished tomorrow. Outrageous, isn't it?


Some people here need to lose the cynicism and grow a heart. Hard working people are hurting because of the economy. I don't know how you missed that point and decided to come down on someone who doesn't quite meet your standards of "worthiness."

[DeschutesRiver]

107. You keep missing the point - I don't care how you spend your money.

I have had similar experiences and decided them differently. It has nothing to do with "worthiness", is that the issue that is sidetracking you, ie, that you think this has some moral component? I don't see it that way at all. It has to do with usefulness and how best to spend limited resources. There is a great need out there; and I just don't see it in this situation.

Listen, seriously, feed him some more fast food. Tip him huge, heck, add some extra in memory of me, the poster who sees something different in your set of facts, who senses that perhaps you have lost the objectivity necessary to see more clearly. No need to be on the defensive over this guy/situation if you are in your heart convinced that this guy's actions make perfect sense to you.

[AirmensMom]

108. You don't?

Then why do you find it necessary to criticize? Why do you call it a "one-side feel good deal?" What's the bullshit about "enabling?" Who are you to decide where the greatest need is or how I spend my limited resources? I have helped some people here whom I have never even met. Are you going to tell them what a waste of resources you think they are?

There was only fast food one day, but I see you glossed over that part. We don't normally eat that stuff and I'd much rather make lunch than buy it.

I sincerely hope you don't ever need help and find that the person who would have helped you decided you didn't have a great enough need. This guy's actions are not required to make perfect sense to me or you. He was hungry and I fed him. Period. And some people are in this thread shitting all over that, as if we all did something wrong. Defensive? You bet! I should have known better than to tell a story about a fellow human being who is struggling. After all, it didn't really seem like something people could argue about. But just look at the number of better-than-thou replies suggesting that he's somehow undeserving, I have wasted my money, been taken, etc., he's a drug addict ... I'm shocked to see such a lack of humanity at this website. Thank goodness there are also some caring, compassionate people here as well.

[DeschutesRiver]

109. It isn't a lack of humanity at all, it is a dose of reality - if you feel it doesn't apply

to your guy, then don't worry about it. My only question: why have you repeatedly "glossed over" the reasons why you don't buy this poor guy a bag of rice or beans or some meat to help him feed his family? It won't cost you more, in fact it would cost you less than your burgers and now huge tip. Hey, why not tip him a bag of calrose shortgrain (still should be able to get it for less than $15). Why not? In my book, since I have done that repeatedly, to not do so would be to act without compassion. It also is a lot more awkward to discuss this with someone, and takes more time to teach them stuff, than to just send them out for burgers and hope your tip cash doesn't go for more "diet" pills. Different perspective on this for sure. I don't think you should stop doing it your way; I just find it akin to gambling at some casino.

Look, we are possibly days away from a finanical meltdown that is going to leave millions with jobs or food, or god forbid, freezing to death in a couple of months when winter hits and there is no heat for many. I suggest we both go out and do what we need to do to protect our own families, and then take the time to help others as much as we can, however we can. What is coming is sufficiently bad enough that I figure people will start being more careful about how they allocate their charity; I know I will need to do so; and if you think I am a beast about it now, you ain't seen nothing yet.

There will be so many more in true need than I've even seen yet in my lifetime.

[AirmensMom]

111. He's got a dose of reality already.

And I fed his family today. Not fast food, but you're stuck on that. He can buy food with his tip and I have no doubt he will. (And where did "huge tip" come from?) I did give him some vegetables from my garden, but I'm sure that doesn't count in your book. He probably prefers the diet pills, after all.

I know we're facing a financial meltdown and things are about to get a lot worse. I'm not interested in seeing what you'll be like when it does get worse. You'll probably have people stand on scales to make sure they're underweight enough before you feed them.

Yes, there is a great need. All we can do is offer help where we see it, when we can. And the next time I see a suffering family, I know not to share the story here.

[DeschutesRiver]

114. "I did give him some vegetables from my garden, but I'm sure that doesn't count in your book."

and this comment: "You'll probably have people stand on scales to make sure they're underweight enough before you feed them" both tell me that you have completely lost your objectivity. Those were just stupid comments on your part, reflect that you aren't reading my posts, and don't even merit a response by me.

Good luck.

[AirmensMom]

115. Well, you know how it is.

I was moved by this family's plight. And you seem to think it's your job to tell me how to screen people to make sure they are the most needy and exactly how I should help them.

Hmmm, my comments are so stupid they don't merit a response, but you DID respond. That doesn't make a lot of sense, but whatever ...

[AirmensMom]

97. You're right.

We are not going to see eye to eye.

Yes, he has made choices. One of the choices he made was to work for a living. Only it's pretty hard to make a living these days. I did no disservice to him.

[AZBlue]

86. Heartbreaking!

Thank you for sharing to point out what we really need to focus on.
And THANK YOU for caring and helping him out!! :hug:

[Maine-ah]

92. good for you AM, I'm glad you're able to help someone out.

:yourock:

[greguganus]

98. But don't diet pills cost more than a cheap burger? n/t

[AirmensMom]

99. Not if

you already have them or someone gave you one.

[ThePowerofWill]

102. I had to lend a young fellow at work money last week.

Did not have the food in the house for him or his daughter to eat. Single dad trying to get by as a temp making a whopping $8.50hr. Hoping he can make it perm, where his pay would almost double. Funny thing is we pay the temp agency around $20hr for him, and he gets $8.50 of it. The real sad thing is i have to wonder if my other co-workers and i will even have a job when this all shakes out.

Glad i still have the farm, at least i will still eat.

[fizzgig]

106. thank you for doing this

it is sickening that anyone has to go through that

:hug:

[The Stranger]

110. And I bet they all vote Republican, stand for 'Murka 'ginst Terra and "are scared of" Obama.

[AirmensMom]

113. Why would you say that?

Actually, we have reason to believe they are NOT Republicans ... just from some of their comments. There are some Democrats around here, after all. And I do know several people who did vote Republican and now regret it. Should we let them all starve? :shrug: