A stroll down Hollywood Squares Memory Lane - (those were the days!)

[gateley]

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.


Q.If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.


Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.


Q.You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
< B>A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.


Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.


Q.Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.


Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.


Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.


Q.As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.


Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.


Q.Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.


Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.


Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.


Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.


Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.


Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?


Q.If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.


Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A.. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.


Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.


Q.Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.


Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?


Q.When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.


Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.


Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh

[LisaM]

1. Remember when guests used to come on the Tonight Show half in the bag?

I agree, those were the days.

[Hardrada]

And guests on Dick Cavett were stoned!

[Arugula Latte]

3. Or, in the case of Dean Martin, all the way in the bag.

[asjr]

4. Jonathan Winters on Johnny Carson

used to crack me up!

[gateley]

8. He used to bring me to tears. nt

[gateley]

5. And everybody smoked! nt

[TomInTib]

15. Tom Snyder used to tell me hilarious stories from 'way back.

One of his most notable interviews was with John Lennon, on the effects of drugs in the Entertainment Industry.

Tom told me that he was so coked up that he didn't remember one bit of the segment.

Damn, it's been a year and two months since Tom died and I still miss him.

Every day.

[gateley]

18. Ah - again with the good old days!

And I didn't know you knew him. I'm sure he hasn't gone far. :hug:

[TomInTib]

19. Oh, yes, gateley...

We used to sit on a bench along our Town's Main Street and solve the world's problems, every day.

Get drunk as hell and play with his trains. Sometimes I could get him to sing while I played old Standards on my guitar.

Wanta read something really cool?

Here....

http://journals.democraticunderground.com/NanceGreggs/252

[LisaM]

21. Tom Snyder was one of the best

I used to go to work tired many a time because of him.

[gateley]

22. Thanks for this! Loved it.

In addition to Nance painting the perfect portrait, beautiful sentiments expressed and memories shared - I know that must have been a comfort to you.

[TomInTib]

23. You know....

I still got all teary when I re-read it before sending it to you.

He was one of a kind. There is no longer any room in MSM for individuals like Tom.

I'll never forget the last time I saw him. I was walking through the parking lot of our local grocer when this big voice boomed out, calling me over to the car.

His long arm snaked out of the passenger window, kinda shaky as he was in a losing game with leukemia. He said, "Ya know, Tom, we sure had us a helluva ride, didn't we?".

I knew I would never see him again.

On the Sunday after Tom died, we had a memorial service down on the waterfront where we used to walk our dogs. That afternoon, I had gone back down to the water, alone, to think. A blank piece of printer paper blew down the walk and stopped at my feet. Cursing the damned littering tourists, I was putting it in the trash can when I noticed there was print on the down side of it.

It read:
"Thanks for the memories, Tom.
You will always be in our hearts".

I sat on the bench and cried. It was if he was right there with me.

I kept that piece of paper for a long time, and then sent it to fellow DUer RaeJeanOwl, who had an interesting relationship with Tom.

[Happyhippychick]

2. Those were hilarious.

[villager]

6. Those old "Squares" broadcasts were actually years ahead of primetime TV in terms of

...what they could "get away" with, entendre-wise...

[begin_within]

7. Thanks, that was hilarious

[Libby2]

9. LMAO.....love them, thanks.

[jojo54]

10. Where did you find this? Brings back a lot of memories.

Great show. I watched it all the time.

[gateley]

17. Somebody sent them to me in an e-mail.

They were too classic not to share!

[LisaM]

11. And Johnny used to have these guest I'd never heard of

but that he had great rapport with, like Jaye P. Morgan. Who was she? What did she do? Of course, I admit, I was young. But Johnny, Ed, and Doc were like members of my family. I remember lying in bed when I was little, hearing the show on TV.

[gateley]

16. I only know Jaye P. Morgan because she was on the Gong Show, too --

She was wild!

I actually think she was a singer.

[bdamomma]

12. oh the good ole days, great one liners from the best.

[LisaM]

13. Even better, a lot of them were pretty openly gay

of course it all flew over my head back then, but really, when you think about it, they were pretty out front about their lifestyle.

[Greyhound]

14. LOL, your laugh was well timed today, thanks.

You also reminded me that I have an .mp3 of a collection of H-wood Squares answers, I think I'll have a listen today.

:kick: & R :thumbsup:

[PatSeg]

20. Classic

I can actually hear their voices in my head!