Question for Moms here:

[JSK]

When your kids were young, did you find it difficult to leave them? I, for one, could hardly stand to leave them to go to the grocery store, let alone for the days and weeks that make up a campaign.

Just wondering...

[defendandprotect]

1. Yep ...

[PeaceNikki]

2. Look, there is a treasure trove of ammo to go after her with

why this?

It's not something we ask when discussing male candidates.

[emilyg]

4. Thanks for a sane voice.

[elleng]

8. Right; forget it.

.

[JSK]

9. I am not going after "her"

I asked other moms about their experience when they had to leave their kids.

[PeaceNikki]

11. What about dads? Obama has young children, too.

[tblue]

20. They appear to be lovely, well adjusted, happy little girls. There's no comparison.

[marlakay]

33. michelle's mom watches them so they are very well

taken care of. and sarah's husband said on campaign trail for gov that he was going to stay home with the kids and then he couldn't handle it after a short time and went back to work...

[willing dwarf]

22. Especially when they were nursing

I couldn't stand to be gone for more than a few hours. I worked 8 hours a week usually in two 4 hour stints and if I stayed at work more than the 4 hours, I had this horrible sinking feeling, like the world was ending. If it went on too long, I would become like an animal determined to get back to them. I had the feeling I'd walk through fire, brave storms or ice or anything to be with them.

Now they're teenagers, I still have it a bit, especially if they are out, and I'm not sure where they are.

I really believe that for young children, their health and well being is drawn directly from the mother, that there's a link their long after the birth.

[Breeze54]

28. So Father's don't have a link to their offspring? Only the Moms do?

"their health and well being is drawn directly from the mother"

:eyes:

Great... I'll call my kids and apologize for having left them with
babysitters and in daycare while I worked to put food on my family! :sarcasm:

:eyes:

[willing dwarf]

81. I'm just saying how it was for me.

The bond between a mother and child is very powerful as scientists and psychologists have shown-- I've done a bit of study on the question of attachment, and while I'm not saying other attachment isn't possible, I think it's pretty well recognized that the most straightforward and essential attachment happens between mother and child.

Just the other day I was talking w. a friend whose mother committed suidice when he was 6 months old. He grew up with a feeling of there being a hole in the center of his life. To fill it, he has done tremendous work for peace and justice, but he is aware that there's something essential missing. And to consider your point about babysitters etc, I think that if his mom had left him with babysitters or a nanny I don't think he'd have felt such profound emptimess as he did due to her complete departure from his life.

[Breeze54]

85. I guess you also think mothering is instinctual?

I don't. I think it's learned behavior, therefore, it has nothing to do
with weather or not the person the baby bonds with has a vagina or not.

[willing dwarf]

87. Instinct, Hormones, one's own childhood experience

all play a part -- I don't see it as a question of anatomy.

You seen pretty keen to find someone to argue with about these issues. That's not my interest, so adios.

[tblue]

12. True. But if I knew a man had 5 kids, and one was preg and the other was a criminal,

and another was a brand new baby with special needs, yes, I would wonder what the hell kind of parent he was to choose to do anything other than get his fucking house in order and make that his priority.

Sorry, but I think how a person parents says a lot about their character. By that measure, Sarah is a failure!

And to answer the original poster, I cannot stand to be apart from my kid.

[zazen]

14. maybe it's not a public strategy, but it's a legitimate vent and point for analysis

I gave up a six figure career to be with mine--one of whom has some special needs--and I don't have a rich husband to support me. And I would gladly do it again. So it's all the more galling to see these narcissistic, vicious, harem-politic type women who obviously don't give a crap about their children lecture me, the supposedly pagan child-hating castrating radical feminist, about how I don't care about family values.

She really is a loathsome human being. But maybe this isn't the place to vent, especially knowing her junior high level girl-bully vindictiveness. She'll probably have all of our IP addresses traced and have us shunned from the school cafeteria.

[earth mom]

76. Great post! My dh and I lived as the working poor so I could stay home with our child.

And I agree that Sarah Palin is a loathsome human being. Meanwhile, the rethugs think Palin represents family values?! :wtf: :rofl:

[wordpix]

93. people in the AK legislature report Palin as MIA

She was in Wasilla 600 mi. from Juneau 312 nights her first year as gov, so how well could she have governed?

A recent report in NYT states she's paying a 27 y.o. female gov's assistant $68K and the assistant has been seen a lot with the kids. Don't worry, Supermom Sarah has it all worked out.

[LiberalEsto]

3. Yes

But then I only had two. If I had five, I probably would have been desperate for some kid-free time.

[Maureen54]

5. hard to do

I was a " stay at home mom" until both kids were in school. Even then going to work all day and not being there to get them off the school bus ( dad took over that role) was horrible. I realize we're all different but I put my kids first.

[Breeze54]

6. I went to work to get a rest!

:P

Just attack the LIES of the McCain Campaign... we aren't going to feed into the K-K-Karl Rove
plan to distract evey one from the Obama- McCain campaigns. McLiar is running against Obama!!

[JerseygirlCT]

114. Oh yes. Honest to goodness, work is easier by far than caring for

an infant! But it was still hard to leave them.

[barbtries]

speaking as a mom,

i could never do what palin is doing. i was still breastfeeding my children for longer than her little one has been around. now, i've been away from my older boys and my grandchildren for almost a year. just got our tickets to go back for christmas and i can hardly wait. can hardly wait!

this separation occasioned by the exorbitant cost of living in CA. my 16-year-old and i are doing much better in NC financially, but yes we miss home all the time.

[Breeze54]

16. They have electric, portable, breast pumps now...

Many working outside the home use them. ;)

[JSK]

18. Hey we all had these challenges and dealt with them

And I am not saying I didn't leave my kids. Hell, I worked from the time they were infants. But it was really, really hard to leave them in someone else's care.

[Breeze54]

25. No one said it would be easy... it isn't but many work now.

Just a fact of life!

[JeanGrey]

21. I went back to work at eight weeks and I still nursed.

That is what close by nursery and breast pumps are for.

[barbtries]

45. actually now that you mention it

i did too! with my last two babies i took them to work with me for the first seven months of their lives. great fringe benefit there...could i have been a principle in a national campaign and done that? no way.

[JeanGrey]

99. Why not? I nursed when I dropped him off, again at lunch, ad

as soon as i picked him up. Left breast milk for other times.

[JeanGrey]

107. Why not? I would think it would be easy. She isn't making

speeches 14 hours a day, it doesn't take that long to nurse.

[LeftyMom]

7. Of course. But even if it hadn't bothered me, it's not even slightly developmentally appropriate.

Babies need their primary caregiver near-constantly for the first six months or so, because they don't even understand themselves as being separate from that person yet.

[Breeze54]

10. Bull Shit!

:puke:

[LeftyMom]

64. It's vomit-inducing that infants need to form a bond with their primary caregiver?

[Breeze54]

67. No.... your premise that mothers should not venture away from their babies for 6 months! Ludicrous!

"Babies need their primary caregiver near-constantly for the first six months or so..."

:puke:

Not true at all! It isn't quantity, it's quality.

[LeftyMom]

69. I never even said that the primary caregiver has to be the mother, though it generally is

but they really do need to be with one adult the vast majority of their time in order to develop properly.

[Breeze54]

79. Yes, I agree. Babies need to bond but they don't have to bond with just one person.

My kids bonded with me, their father, aunts, babysitters and later on, daycare teachers.

The people they saw on a regular basis and they're well adjusted adults now.

You did allude above that the baby needs to "be with the mother almost constantly"

That I don't agree with at all.

:hi:

[LeftyMom]

80. They really do need one primary caregiver in infancy for healthy attachments

I'm sorry if that's inconvenient, but it's really quite central to our understanding of how infants develop. It's harmful to pass a baby from one caregiver to another all day long- they need to bond with one primary caregiver securely first.

[Breeze54]

86. Babysitters and daycare teachers do not "pass" the babies around like the remote.

You're way off. babies bond with whomever is taking care of them, day and night.

It may be a babysitter during the day and the parent at night. No harm done. In fact,

day care makes children smarter and more well adjusted than babies that have been smothered.

[LeftyMom]

89. Okay, I think we're talking past each other.

I'm talking about the psychological need for infants to establish a strong bond with one primary caregiver, which is well-established and not really controversial (hell, they teach it to early childhood ed people and explain that at times outside caregivers are a necessary evil but not the ideal for young children and that they have to work to minimize that negative effect) and you're talking about something else entirely.

I don't see the point in continuing if you're going to attack other parents and put words in my mouth, but I'm delighted that your children coped well with a less-than-ideal situation.

[Breeze54]

95. I think you're the one not understanding.

I totally understand what you're saying, I just don't agree with all of what you say.

Perhaps you should read a newer version of child rearing? More up to date?

I already agreed children need to bond but not with just one person.

That seems to be where you and I disagree.

[Midlodemocrat]

108. Yikes.

I don't even know where to begin to refute this. RAD anyone? :scared:

[JeanGrey]

19. So you are condeming every mother that went back to work

before six months, right?

[tblue]

23. A mom of a baby with special needs who goes back to work after 3 days -- it's not typical.

[JeanGrey]

31. I don't condemn ANY working mothers. Period.

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

42. One of the only voices of reason,

in a cacophony of shrill hatred.

David

[Breeze54]

48. What? Huh?

:shrug:

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

49. Are you trying to ask a question?

I said one of.

David

[Breeze54]

50. I asked two.

What? Huh?

As in, what did you mean by that comment?

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

51. That....

She is one of the only voices of reason here.

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

53. You seem like you may be one also.

I think we are really screwing this up with Palin. Just ignore her, marginalize her in that way. These attacks are just driving votes her way.

David

[Breeze54]

66. I agree and have been posting that all day !

:hi:

[JeanGrey]

100. They are. Even the SNL skit will help her

[tblue]

88. OK.

[LeftyMom]

63. No, I'm saying it's in the infant's best interest to stay with it's primary caregiver.

Generally that's the mother because babies do best on human milk and many societies don't have adequate provision for pumping and milk storage, but in most societies postpartum mothers also work. This idea that work and children can't occur in the same spare is a relatively modern and western convention, and dosen't serve the needs of women or children well.

edit: For that matter, almost every first world country manages to support women by allowing them to stay home with their infants longer via benefits. In many cases, the benefits cover the first year or so. Doing so results both in more emotionally secure mothers and infants and in significant health benefits for both which far outlast the post-partum period and infancy.

[JeanGrey]

101. Well this is America. And studies have shown that babies

that go to daycare have no ill effects.

[BlueIris]

111. It is hideous, isn't it?

Goddamn.

[willing dwarf]

13. Same here

I've wondered how Palin could leave her kids so much if she's such a spectacular mother. There's no substitute for being there with them, and the only way to do that is to stick around. --I don't buy the "good mother" image she's playing on. I think she's a liar and a fraud and motherhood is probably just another way to look like her idea of a "good person."

The Christian Right has such difficulty distinguishing between appearance and reality. Remarkable lack of subtley in their thinking. "Good mother is as good mother looks."

[annabanana]

15. I was so-o-o-o-o lucky.

Our situation was such that I COULD stay home with them. I imagined myself leaving when the oldest was about 6 mos.. and I was very very grateful that I didn't have to.

[JeanGrey]

17. Of course. But I had to leave them just the same.

What is your point? This has no bearing on ANYTHING.

[Kahuna]

24. Not me. I looked forward to the peace and quiet.

:)

[SmokingJacket]

26. I couldn't do it, but I don't expect a presidential candidate to be like me.

I have a lot in common with Sarah Palin in some ways -- female, born in the 60s, married, kids, lived in Idaho, brunette -- but none of this matters at all. I can't stand her politics, period.

[elleng]

27. I don't want to point fingers here,

but I'd like to say I'm not at all happy about some comments.

I'm the mother of 2 daughters, 20 and 23, both studying to be educators. I'm also a lawyer, and live in DC, where its very difficult to maintain middle-class lives w/o 2 working parents.

I worked, from time babies were 3 months old; was insistent on fine care givers, and fine schools; couldn't use public schools in DC.

Daughters have said they've valued fact that I have a profession; they've learned a lot from me being who/what I am.

So DON'T say working mothers don't care enough. We are not you.

[PeaceNikki]

32. The women's movement is about allowing women choice

we are not tethered to our children and fathers are equally responsible for their care. Threads like this piss me off because they detract from the many real issues with this candidate and feed right into the claims of sexism. Because it is sexist. Working mothers don't love their children any less than stay-at-home moms

[JeanGrey]

34. You are damn right it is. And it plays into their hands.

[JSK]

41. This is not about the women's movement

or whether or not women should work!! I am not telling anybody what to do!

It is about what it was like for you, the mom, to leave your kids in the care of someone else.

[roody]

36. Who said 'working mothers don't care enough.?

[elleng]

39. We have,

'Babies need their primary caregiver near-constantly for the first six months or so,'

'I would wonder what the hell kind of parent he was to choose to do anything other than get his fucking house in order and make that his priority.

I think how a person parents says a lot about their character. By that measure, Sarah is a failure!'

'it's all the more galling to see these narcissistic, vicious, harem-politic type women who obviously don't give a crap about their children lecture me'

Sorry guys, don't want to cause a ruckus.

[JSK]

38. Hey, I was a working mother!

And I NEVER said working mothers don't care.

You say I am not you. My point exactly. I was curious as to what the working-mother experience was like for others.

[Breeze54]

40. I don't think that was for you.....

it is in reference to other comments on this thread.

Breath. Relax.

[marlakay]

29. I stayed home until mine were 4 & 6 yrs old

and sold tupperware, and did full time daycare so i could afford to stay home. I know some women have no choice and have to work at 6 weeks but it would break my heart to leave a small baby like that. I also nursed both of my girls for a year.

It only bugs me about sarah because they keep harping that she is such a great mom...i don't think so, not after hearing about the drugs with her son and daughter partying, i think she personally needs to quit her job and stay home for awhile to get her house in order.

[MassLiberal]

30. I rarely left them

for periods of more than a few hours at a time, when they were small. I sometimes felt chained to them and would have liked more freedom, but underneath those feelings I felt that they needed me and my first obligation was to them. So I shaped my life around that obligation. Now that they're older -- two teenagers and one almost-teen -- I still consider their needs before I make any decisions about being away or too busy. I do have a full-time job, and I have almost always juggled working with motherhood, but my kids have always come first.

[LWolf]

35. I had to leave my first baby to go to work.

It was agonizing to drop him off every day, because I knew that the sitter would not love him as much as I, give him as much attention as I would, and nurture him with the same level of abundance.

I worried that his diaper would go too long, that he'd be too much in his play pen, that he wouldn't get enough direct interaction with people. It didn't matter that the care was adequate. Adequate wasn't good enough, and adequate wasn't me.

I hated every minute gone.

I didn't worry the same when I left him with family for a night off now and then, but family wasn't available for child care while I was working.

[Breeze54]

37. You should have found a different babysitter then!

My babysitters loved my kids as babies and preschoolers.

They would hang out at my house just to play with them!

And the daycare centers always enjoyed them, well almost always. :P

If you didn't feel comfortable with the sitter, that was your first warning!

Glad you made it through. :hug: Trust your instincts. ;)

[elleng]

43. Trust your instincts!!!

ABSOLUTELY!

If you didn't feel comfortable with the sitter, that was your first warning!

[LWolf]

56. Happily,

that son is about to turn 31. He's healthy, well-adjusted, and living his life.

I did trust my instincts; you can tell, even 30 years later, that my instincts were red-flagging that situation, and I still remember it that way.

Even though he was clean, fed, calm, and there was no evidence of neglect at the time.

It took a lot of tortuous wrangling to come up with a way to support us and leave him with people I trusted more. In the end, I set up a network of numerous friends and family. It took a lot of them, though, as none were willing to give up their lives to take on full-time day care. Not that they should have been. Still, I knew they loved him, and that counted for a lot.

We made it work. When the 2nd baby came along a few years later, I took on daycare duties myself during the day, and waitressed at night when their dad got home from work, and did housecleaning for a neighbor on weekends, until he was old enough for preschool.

[LWolf]

52. Thus speaks ignorance.

Ignorance of how many I talked to, and how much time and effort I put into the search.

Ignorance of the times, the economy, the availability, the cost, the references, the distances, and every other factor in that choice.

Ignorance of the life circumstances that sent me out to work to begin with.

Ignorance of budget issues and real crises involved in my life at that time.

Thankfully, my sons, both of them, are not ignorant of the circumstances they were born to and raised in. They know to what lengths I went to provide for them the best I could find. Not just during their infancy, but as long as they needed me. For any reason.

It's easy to be glib out of ignorance.

It's amazing what experts people are when they have no clue.

[demmiblue]

57. I'm sorry LWolf...

it sounds like you had a tough time of it. I think I understand what you mean.

:hug:

Yes, it is easy for others to judge, even when you did not judge them. We all are entitled to our own feelings and to our own choices.

Edit: the last line wasn't aimed at you, LWolf! (Well the first part was!)

[LWolf]

60. Thank you.

:hug:

[Breeze54]

70. Awe... so now you found the hug....

:eyes:

[demmiblue]

96. Why wouldn't she find the hug?

It is apparent that she went through a hard time.

What the heck is your problem?

Perhaps you need a hug... here: a hug for Breeze54 :hug:

[Breeze54]

68. Wow!! So you're the only one that went though that 30 years ago? Did you not see the HUG?!

Get off your pity pot! Many here went through what you went through, including me!

My oldest is 31 and quiet happy too! Don't tell me I don't have a clue.

Apparently I had more than you 30 years ago and today.

[demmiblue]

97. A HUG FOR BREEZE54!

She needs one!

Rock on, sister!

:eyes:

[JerseygirlCT]

115. I got so lucky the first time out

Leaving my first with essentially a total stranger was terrifying. But she DID love him nearly as much as I did. Cared for him at least as well as this new mother could. We were blessed to have found such a caring care giver! It was awful when she had to move.

Which reminds me that I ought to get an e-mail to her!

[Shine]

44. Yup, it was hard.....but also necessary to get the occasional break.

I was lucky to be a stay-at-home mom and not have to work outside the home, but we still hired a sitter to come be with them twice a week when they were little.

It's the only thing that kept me sane in those early years and it was worth every penny!

One night a week I got to myself to see a movie, hang out with girlfriends, whatever....and hubby would go off to be with his men's group.

Then, on Fridays we'd have Date Night and get some much-needed man/woman, husband/wife time alone.

I swear, it's what kept our marriage going. :D

But yes, even still, it was hard sometimes to leave them.

I can't imagine leaving little ones for days and days at a time, but that's just me.

[SujiwanKenobee]

46. Not sure what the exact ages of her kids are but

I imagine she tends to leave the teenagers to look after the littler ones when there is no paid help. Having lots of kids doesn't mean a person is maternal, just evidence of sexual activity.

[AlCzervik]

47. extremely difficult, i was home for the first 6 months and then after that i worked

nights so my husband and i tagged off at 5:00pm, it sucked but we needed the money. He tried to figure out a way he could stay home but it never worked out.

[Jennicut]

54. I would NEVER EVER leave my special needs baby

But I am not Sarah Palin. She came back to work like 3 days after daughter Piper was born. I couldn't walk right for 2 weeks after I had both my daughters. I think its an Alaskan mindset. They are colder then other people in the rest of the states because its a harsher way of life. I would like to hear more about Mr. Palin and if he is a Mr. Mom type or if he just lays the baby on a nanny. If he is a Mr. Mom then I guess it is not a huge problem, its good for fathers to step up. One thing that drives me crazy with Rethugs is they have bought up that Joe Biden left his two kids after they were injured in car accident to go to work in Washington. That is crazy as he was a single father and did not have a mother to watch them anymore, she had died! Terrible comparison but Lindsey Graham did it.

[AspenRose]

55. Leaving was hardest with my first one when he was younger

My oldest is now 3 and my other one will be one on Wednesday....I'm now comfortable leaving the older one with a babysitter that I trust, but not the younger one yet (so, for the most part, they both go where I go).

[Raschel]

58. Palin family

Palin's kids do not look happy at all. Something is wrong in that family. Either the plain neglect or abuse.

[psychmommy]

59. well i didn't like it , but we had to eat

so off to work i went after 3 months. some women have no choice. other women can afford nannies and make their own choice. although i wouldn't do what sarah did and leave my developmentally delayed son with anyone else-i can't judge her for it. nor would i judge barack and michelle. we are women and we do what we have to do.

[TransitJohn]

61. So as a single father

my opinion carries no weight here. Thanks.

[Breeze54]

71. Of course it does....

I was going to post a copycat for fathers but I figured I'd get reamed.

Talk! I'm very interested! :hi:

[Sam Ervin jret]

62. This ridiculous fight between "working"moms and "stay at home" moms has got to STOP.

E-N-O-U-G-H

[Zuiderelle]

65. I agree, ENOUGH. Men should be AS responsible for their children as women.

To say that she shouldn't be VP because of her children is sexist, 100%. She shouldn't be VP because she's nowhere near qualified to be VP.

[JerseygirlCT]

116. Actually what we need is an overall cultural change and the laws

to back it up: families need to be respected. Fathers need to be able to truly put caring for their children first without penalty. Flexibility is needed.

I think Obama represents a newer generation of father, who is absolutely determined to be an equal partner in raising his own children. I wouldn't want to place a bet on how many times McCain changed a diaper, you know?

But the overall problem isn't working vs stay at home moms, or whether dads pull their weight - it's the way we prioritize work and family in our society.

[lukasahero]

72. Great, bring back the mommy wars

Just what we need. It isn't bad enough we have the race wars, gender wars and class wars to distract us from fighting the real enemy, let's make sure women are fighting women too.

We deserve the government we get.

[RB TexLa]

73. Not to praise anyone currently running, but . . .some people make sacrifices to serve their country.

[earth mom]

75. You mean serve THEMSELVES because all I see is CORRUPTION from Palin & most politicians.

:grr:

[Name removed]

74. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[DemoRabbit]

82. I'm a STRONG woman, and I AGREE with you

If you knew me, you'd know that I am very much a STRONG and INDEPENDENT woman...

But SOMETIMES, no matter your sex, as a PARENT, there is just too much on your plate to be able to "do it all". It doesn't matter if you have a penis or a vagina. It would be completely reasonable for ANY good family therapist to suggest to the PARENTS of a pregnant teen and special-needs infant, maybe you need to work a little less and focus on your family for the time being.

There's NOTHING weak about it... it's about having your priorities straight.

Don't let "them" tell you it's sexist to think it. If Obama had a pregnant teenager and a special-needs infant, I'd be saying the SAME thing. It's a reasonable concern.

[earth mom]

110. Yep what I said is Palin is a BAD MOM. Looks like someone complained about my post.

What the truth hurts around DU now? Just who is trying to protect Palin on DU?! :wtf:

[SmileyRose]

90. I know you don't care but

We have addicts in my family, and a kid that got knocked up in high school (which was equal to a slut in those days) - my parents both worked a job plus - Mom did whatever she could to make side money and Dad had 2 sometimes 3 jobs. Financially they had no choice as lower level blue collar workers. They were too damn tired to be model parents - but I have to say, for the deck that was stacked against them, they sure did a damn sight better raising us that some of the "richer" folks around with stay at home moms.

I'm just saying a drugging and knocked up teen girl doesn't automatically mean bad parenting. A lot goes into how a kid turns out and IMHO we didn't know how we turned out until we all hit late 20's early 30's. I don't like Palin for a lot of reasons, but IMHO it's not easy to judge someone's parenting from the outside.

Now, having said that, Mom sure as heck would not have thrust us all on the national stage in the middle of our personal teenage crises for all the world to pick at. Mom and Dad both put their own dreams on hold to an extent to focus what little energy they did have on the trouble spots in the family.

[Hannah Bell]

104. but the palins do have options. her husband supposedly works for an oil corp AND owns

a fishing biz. She's a governor. All pay more than average.

It wouldn't be so egregious if she weren't pushing the "family values" line. Since she is, I think she sets up her own family values - or lack thereof - for scrutiny.

No one likes a hypocrite.

On edit: it particularly irks me since I regularly see folks here at DU criticising the parenting of ordinary, poor or criminal people who have much fewer resources.

[orleans]

77. yes! i remember going to a school reunion when my daughter was

8 months old. i was gone for something like six hours. maybe eight. it was SO HARD. i called home to check on her a couple times.

that was the first time i was away from her (other than going to the store and leaving her with grandma.)

it was very difficult for me.

[wickerwoman]

78. So even if Sarah Palin is a shitty mother, does that disqualify her from being vice president?

Lots of men who are shitty fathers have held high public office and its never been an issue.

She should be disqualified because she's underexperienced, arrogant and a threat to the safety of humanity not because she's a lousy mother.

And if being a lousy mother doesn't disqualify her from being VP, why is it anyone else's business (short of clear child abuse or neglect)?

[JeanGrey]

105. And who are we to say she is a 'shitty mother'??

This stuff is giving me the shits.

[wickerwoman]

112. Err... then why don't you read past the subject line.

I didn't say she was a "shitty mother". I said even *if* she was it wasn't our business to judge it.

[Ilsa]

83. Yeah, it was hard until they were almost two, so I rarely left them.

I took my youngest with me to the company dinner party. He was happy and slept through most of it with me nursing him so much. I had waited so long long to have kids that I didn't want to be away from them. My youngest is nine and still likes to snuggle. So does my 11 year old.

[lonestarnot]

84. Easy. never did, but for a short period when I worked nights.

[lady raven]

91. Yep

My twins just turned 7 months and I've never been away from them more than an hour (When dad takes them to the grocery store, etc. so I can have a few moments to myself). I hate it. I still have trouble being away from the 8 year old overnight when he spends the night at his father's house.

[wordpix]

92. I was constantly worried about mine while I was at work, even working part time

I deliberately held a part-time job so I could have time with her besides dinner and bed. This was as a divorced single parent, too. We just did without great clothes, lived in a small apt. and didn't have any luxuries but we had good food, went to the community field and playgrounds and got by fine.

[TXDemGal]

94. Well, my kid is 4-and-a-half

and I haven't been away from her a single night. But I guess that's just me! ;-)

[OHDEM]

98. To each their own.

In general, I think people make their own choices about how they will mother their children. I find that successful relationships of all kinds thrive when people are willing to work together to achieve a common goal. I'm a stay-at-home mom of 2 little boys & my husband runs his own business. We manage because we live pretty simply & he does pretty well. I hardly ever leave my kids because I would miss them too much if it were too long. I have other friends that work, take lots of vacations and/or go out every weekend. Those are their choices & if it's necessary or just makes them happy then it's good. As far as dads go, I think some men are more hands on and some are more traditional.

[Tulum_Moon]

103. Don't attack me!

I am not here to defend the biotch. But she got to take her babies to work! That gave her the easy way to breast feed. And any Mom here who has gone back to work (I went back after 10 weeks) and had to , I hate to mention this, pump your breast milk, know what I am talking about. I hated it. I don't have parents at the ready to take our kid's for a weekend, or if we just want a night out. That is a privilege that people that have it, just don't understand what is like not to have it.

[Arugula Latte]

102. Mine nursed all the time. They weren't weaned totally until they were two.

So, yeah, I was literally attached to them. :)

[ProdigalJunkMail]

106. from a Dad...

i hate leaving my kids, too. i travel some for work and i HATE leaving them for any length of time...a couple of days or a couple of weeks...it's all tough!!

sP

[Midlodemocrat]

109. I nursed mine, so I didn't leave them much at all in the beginning.

But, I'll tell you something. My husband finds it very difficult to leave them to go out of town. He adores them just as much as I do. The only reason he doesn't worry I think, is because I don't travel, so one of us is always with them.

They are the most important things in our life. To earn the living that he needs to to support us, my husband has to travel. I don't, which makes for a nice balance.

[JerseygirlCT]

113. It was really hard.

I had to get back to work with my first at 6 weeks f/t. (I'd begun one day a week before that, taking him with me). Killed.

I had a maternity leave the second time, but it wasn't any easier to leave a 3 mo than a 6 week old.

But you do what you have to do.

Her choice certainly wouldn't be mine. Nor would her style of parenting.

[RevolutionStartsNow]

117. Oh, yeah, for sure

I still don't like to leave them, and they are 11 and 16!

I used to travel a lot for work, and while I was fortunate enough to have a stay-at-home husband, it was still awful to leave them. One morning my son (who was about 7 at the time) came in our bedroom in the morning and did a double-take when he saw me, as if I wasn't supposed to be there. It broke my heart, and I quit traveling soon after that.

A campaign must be hell on families.

Edited to add: When I wrote this I didn't realize it was about Sarah Palin. She's the opposition, so I'm probably more judgemental about her parenting than I would otherwise be, but it sure seems like she has her hands full. A lot of politicians make the choice to go out on the campaign trail, even with young children -- I wouldn't, but that's just me. Her parenting choices are pretty low on my list of Reasons Why Sarah Palin Would Be Bad for this Country.