Christians to learn the art of dating

[tannybogus]

Christians are going on dating workshops to improve their technique in everything from chat-up lines to body language
<snip>
Lessons include how to greet someone, how to hold good eye contact and how to judge whether the other person wants to be kissed at the end of the evening.
<snip>
Christian Connections asked churchgoers for chat up lines that they had used, or that had been used on them. Examples included:

'Now I know why Solomon had 700 wives. He never met you.'

'Is this pew taken?'

'I just don't feel called to celibacy.'

'You float my ark.'

'I didn't believe in predestination until tonight.'

'My parents are home, wanna come over?'

'Is that a thinline, duo-tone, compact, ESV travel bible in your pocket?'

'Let me sell you an indulgence - it's a sin to look as good as you.'

'How many times do I have to walk around you before you fall for me?"

'I like to arrange the substantial Christian section of my bookshelf into alphabetical order. Coffee?"

'The name is Will. God's Will.'

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/religion/2694175/Christians-learn-the-art-of-dating.html

And they wonder why they can't get dates? :evilgrin:
(It's the UK but I doubt it's specific to just them)

[Bluebear]

1. 'You float my ark.' - - oh good grief!

[20score]

2. Those are pretty damn funny.

[rwenos]

3. Thy Alabaster . . .

How about "thy alabaster breasts fetch me to mind of great mountains; I lust to climb those peaks to witness the country which spreadeth into the nether regions of thy continent."

Aside: How the hell did they get together BEFORE these horrible pick-up lines???

[The Straight Story]

4. "You bring out the sinner in me", "When I saw you, I had an apocalypse in my pants"

:)

[Johnny Noshoes]

7. Oh that's just too good

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[mitchum]

5. "Eat...this is my body" may or may not work

[rug]

6. "Is that a cross in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"

[Rocknrule]

8. This has to be fake

[The Straight Story]

9. "How about you be the whore of Babylon, and I will be the beast you ride"

:rofl:

[Lydia Leftcoast]

11. It's the Telegraph, people, Britain's printed equivalent of Fox News

:eyes:

[SalmonChantedEvening]

10. Dating By Numbers. n/t

[Wiley50]

12. Too bad they don't teach them about CARBON DATING

They wouldn't think that cavemen rode dinosaurs in a 7000 year old world

Fucking idiots

Sarah! Sarah! Sarah!

(yeah, Que Sarah Sarah)

[daleo]

13. My reaction as well. n/t