Write the Lede on McCain's Speech

[Old and In the Way]

I refused to watch this hatefest tonight. If you're writing the lede on this for tomorrow's NY Times, what's it say?

[democrat in Tallahassee]

1. Old man talks about Pearl Harbor!

[Octafish]

2. McCain admits he was broken by North Vietnamese captors.

For the NYT:

Admitting his North Vietnamese captors "broke me" while incarcerated and tortured as a prisoner of war, Sen. John S. McCain accepted the Republican nomination for president of the United States at the party's national convention last night in St. Paul, Minnesota. The wrinkled, hunchbacked, 72-year old Arizona native squinted from the podium and acknowledged the cat calls from various demonstrators who continually interrupted the first half of his acceptance speech.

In reality:

Sporting a demonic stare and a maniacal smile, Sen. John "Wet Start" McCain accepted the nod to lead the pack of irrational and voracious ego-tripping greed heads into the biggest electoral loss in the nation's 232-year history. The Arizona repuke, a tired servant of the BFEE, acknowledged he never fully recovered control of his critical faculties and blamed his neurological deficiencies on a large, shiny hedgehog that he says follows him everywhere and goes by the name of "Spiny Norman."


PS: Don't blame you for not watching, Never-Old. I didn't have a choice. Once the thing started telling his story: "Aviator. POW. Returning hero..." I had to watch and hear the Straight Jacket Express.

[OnyxCollie]

3. Dinsdale! Dinsdale!

My class ring has Dinsdale Piranha inscribed on it.