Be on the lookout for fundie code words tonight...

[Joanne98]

Here's a few examples...

FUN WITH FUNDIE PHRASES

I want to devote today's entry to random junk I hear fundies say that pisses me off. No specific citations, it's stuff that comes up a lot.

"Bowed to pressure from special interest groups" This, of course, is used whenever a government body or a corporation does something the fundies don't like, for instance Walt Disney Company offering domestic partner benefits to its gay employees. The phrase is supposed to conjure up images of Walt Disney executives sitting around a boardroom, wringing their hands, praying, and leafing through Bibles for advice. They're worried that their Godly, Christian plans for running their business might be upset by special interest groups lobbying for gay rights.

Never mind the fact that these companies may actually agree with the special interest group, and may think it's a good idea to give domestic partner benefits! The fundies can never seem to grasp the fact that corporations may, in fact, disagree with them (the horror!) and assume that every time one company makes a liberal decision, they're "bowing to pressure."

By the way, aren't fundie groups "Special Interest Groups" too? How come they never complain when companies "bow" to them?

"Anti-family" Okay, nobody is fucking "anti-family." We just don't think YOUR narrow idea of what constitutes a "family" is the only one there is.

"'Gay'" They always put the word "gay" in quotation marks, as if it didn't exist but liberals really want it to. Guess what, fundies? The gays exist. Pretending that they're making it all up doesn't make it true, and makes you all look like a bunch of children covering your ears and screaming "La la la, I can't hear you!"

"Pro-abortion" Nobody's fucking "pro-abortion" either! Nobody thinks abortions are great, peachy keen, a real fun time. Everybody thinks abortions are difficult, sometimes painful, and always contentious affairs, but sometimes what's necessary isn't what's pleasant. Slapping pro-choice people with the "pro-abortion" label means you obviously haven't been listening.

"War On..." Conservatives LOVE declaring "war" on things. "War on families." "War on drugs." "War on terror." "War on Christmas." Why is everything a "war?"

And why are there "wars" on things that only fundies care about? You think if there were no fundies, there would be a "War on Christmas?" Probably not, considering that the "War on Christmas" doesn't exist except in fundies' heads. Everybody else would see "holiday" decorations, say "how nice," then go about their business because it doesn't matter.

"This is just another example of..." Oh yeah? What were the other examples?

"Activist Judges" And all of its kind. First of all, I can tell you on good authority that the term "judicial activism" is a completely non-legal term. But fundies love using it because it sounds legal-like, and is a good replacement for complaining that a judge's decision was "liberal." A good fundie can't be screaming about "liberal" decisions, because he knows that being "liberal" does not automatically make it "bad" (at least, not to everyone).

However, "legislating from the bench" and "breaking with tradition," well, these at least sound kind of like doing bad things. We can't have judges "legislating," they're supposed to be "interpreting!"

Hey, fundies, how come every time judges make a decision that you agree with, they're "interpreting" and every time they make one you disagree with, they're "legislating?" Could it be that you're just tossing around code words whose meanings you barely understand (or don't have meanings!)? Could it be that your code words are there to make the truth sound a lot scarier than it actually is, and sell your ridiculous causes to your armies of sheep?

"Teach both sides" This is a great one. Fundies always say we should "teach both sides" of the evolution debate in school, which is really more of their crazy code speech for "let's get creationism into schools!" Make no mistake, if they thought that there was some way they could get creationism in and evolution out completely, they would. But this "teach both sides" crap is a way to get their foot in the door.

So what's wrong with "teaching both sides?" Well, nothing, except there is no "both sides." Evolution is almost universally accepted in the scientific community except for a few crackpots on the fringe. So consequently, there is no "evolution debate." Evolution has been tested again and again, and the answer that keeps coming back is that it's scientifically the most likely explanation of how life got to be the way it is.

But when fundies say "teach both sides" they sound open-minded and progressive. "See? We don't want any views suppressed. We want both sides taught!" Even though the side they REALLY want taught is full of shit.

And while I'm at it, how come they want "both sides" taught when it's evolution, but God forbid anybody try to teach a favorable view of homosexuality?

http://fundiewatch.blogspot.com/2006/09/fun-with-fundie-phrases.html

[Joanne98]

1. Fundies say the darnest things. Top 100 quotes..

http://www.fstdt.com/fundies/top100.aspx?archive=1

Meh Fundie!

The women of America would do well to consider whether their much-cherished gains of the right to vote, work, murder and freely fornicate are worth destroying marriage, children, civilized Western society and little girls. They can at least console themselves with the thought that, in the long run, it doesn't matter what they do, because the women's-rights ideology is an evolutionary dead end, and it is increasingly apparent that societies embracing it will not survive.

Vox Day, WorldNetDaily <2008-Sep-01>

No, everyone is born Christian. Only later in life do people choose to stray from Jesus and worship satan instead. Atheists have the greatest "cover" of all, they insist they believe in no god yet most polls done and the latest research indicates that they are actually a different sect of Muslims.

Trinidad and Tobago, CARM <2006-Oct-01>


One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it.

awesomestnerd, SmashBoards <2005-Nov-07>


Gravity: Doesn't exist. If items of mass had any impact of others, then mountains should have people orbiting them. Or the space shuttle in space should have the astronauts orbiting it. Of course, that's just the tip of the gravity myth. Think about it. Scientists want us to believe that the sun has a gravitation pull strong enough to keep a planet like neptune or pluto in orbit, but then it's not strong enough to keep the moon in orbit? Why is that? What I believe is going on here is this: These objects in space have yet to receive mans touch, and thus have no sin to weigh them down. This isn't the case for earth, where we see the impact of transfered sin to material objects. The more sin, the heavier something is.

Trinidad and Tobago, CARM <2007-Mar-01>
http://www.fstdt.com/fundies/top100.aspx?archive=1

[kestrel91316]

4. (kestrel taps fundie on shoulder)>>>>>

Re this little gem: ".......Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it....."

Hey - you know that big, hot, yellow thingie up in the sky?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Somebody please give me a loaded gun so I can blow my brains out. I can't take this anymore.

[FatDave]

10. "UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy."

I never get tired of that one. It's just as funny the 100th time.

[glitch]

12. Oh my. That cannot have been said seriously? Please tell me it was a joke.

That reminds me of an oil executive telling me with a straight face, "if it weren't for oil companies there wouldn't even be any environmentalists!!"
I responded with a very serious straight face, "that is very true" and he looked like he was going to need cpr. Then he harumphed (yes, he did) and walked away. :rofl:

edit: this was a funny response from Stan

"I was up all night trying to figure out what this energy source could be.

Finally, it dawned on me."

[glitch]

15. Damn, some of the quotes on that list are tragic. :( nt

[puebloknot]

2. Good list. Thanks! They also don't want to "teach both sides" ...

... when it comes to sex education. Abstinence only "education" brings on pregnant 17-year-olds.

I'm almost afraid to go to sleep for fear I'll wake up with Sarah Palin as the VP. My country 'tis of *them* until we wake up and throw them all out. The fundies are too entrenched already. Let this VP selection not bring on the coup de grace!

[DCKit]

3. Great catch JoAnne!!

Those wacky Fundies do say the darndest things.

[ColbertWatcher]

5. Thank you for the post. n/t

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

6. OK, let me try...

This is just another example of pro-abortion, anti-family "gays" waging war on Christmas. Activist judges, legislating from the bench, bowed to pressure from special interest groups and, instead of interpreting the law, broke with tradition and exercised judicial activism so we can't teach both sides!

[angrycarpenter]

7. How about "abortionist"

As if everyone who believes in choice actually performs abortions.

[ihavenobias]

8. Good call Joanne n/t

[newtothegame]

9. Enjoyed it and forwarded... n/t

[Joanne98]

11. kick

[DemoTex]

13. The quintessential fundie code-word: JESUS.

It has nothing to do with Jesus of Nazareth or Jesus of the Bible. It has everything to do with a mean-spirited philosophy that is totally at odds with The Sermon on the Mount by Jesus Christ.

[Solly Mack]

14. that shouldn't be too hard...the majority of it will be fundy speak

mingled with the media and liberals are picking on me