Wake up America, the Lord Jesus Christ is coming back as prophesied!

[Philosoraptor]

A cspan caller said that everything that is currently happening in the world, the Russian and China aggressions, the wars, etc., were proof of biblical prophecy.

The commenter, David Rothkopf, for the Carnegie Endowment for international peace said something like, 'well, certainly the arrival of Jesus Christ would solve a lot of our problems, I'm no theologian'.

God bless the stupid Americans.

[bdamomma]

1. oh crap, these callers have to crawl underneath their rocks

and leave us free thinkers alone. Too much religion can make people stupid.

[billyoc]

2. Is that when the Falangists get raptured up?

If so, the sooner the fucking better.

[Philosoraptor]

3. The next asteroid impact will be referred to as the return of Christ.

Or when we all blow the fuck out of each other with nukes.

[Hugabear]

4. I almost wish that he would come back

And slap the hell out of people like Phelps, Warren, and all these other phony Christians who have turned religion into a corporate business and preach messages of hate.

[grannie4peace]

8. he will

[guitar man]

14. hey, leave Phelps out of this

Just because the guy won 8 gold medals, that's not a reason to go hatin' on him! :P

[dysfunctional press]

5. i wish the fucking puritans had ANOTHER country they could "flee" to...

maybe a nice lunar colony for all the christoids would be nice...it would put them all that much closer to their heavenly deity.

[Hubert Flottz]

12. Someplace without clean air and water would be nice!

Someplace without ANY air or water would be better still.

"Get Thee Behind Me And STFU" is what JC prolly meant to say!

[peekaloo]

6. Jebus is currently being held in a cone of ignorance using his shoe phone

to text his followers exact time and date.

[Indenturedebtor]

7. Good tell that caller to give all of her possesions to the poor, including her phone n/t

[grannie4peace]

10. good idea -whether He's coming back soon or not

[Solly Mack]

9. I sure hope he's bringing lunch

[SoCalDem]

11. The "ahh-teyull-yoowut" guy called in too.. My day is complete

I love to start the day out with a smile:)
I always envision the guy this way:)

[Philosoraptor]

15. Tha-ink yeeeeooooo-

[Solly Mack]

19. Dude looks mean

lolol

[tannybogus]

13. He sure isn't a theologian.

I don't remember all the hooha that happens when Jesus returns, but from what I recall it won't be like Glenda the Good Witch is landing.

Some people will get raptured. The rest of us will be "Left Behind."(cue scary music)The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse will ride in, and it

won't be for dressage. There will be war and all sorts of nasty things happening. All the Jews will end up dying or something. That's why I can't

make heads nor tails of their unholy alliance with the "endtimers." The Rapturists don't envision happy times for the Jewish people. I'm sure somebody

reading this can put the right events in the proper order. Mr.Rothkopf has an odd way of solving problems.:evilgrin:

[dsotm-wywh]

16. Well, I hope he's ready to take it up the hoo-hah like the rest of us.

Then again, maybe Jesus coming back now would be a good thing. He would for sure wipe out the heretic evangelicals within the first few seconds of hearing them twist his words all around, so that would be a step in the right direction.

[underpants]

17. Hold it I thought IRAQ was proof of this

or has the surge worked TOO WELL?

[DRoseDARs]

18. Please, please, PLEASE let Jesus come back as a dildo...

Being thumped by Bibles is so old, time to spice it up a little.