I Don't Like the Olympics

[alcibiades_mystery]

Don't get me wrong. I really like the athletics of it. I'm constantly astounded by the way people can turn their bodies into special purpose machines through tons of effort and grit. It's impressive. They're impressive. Except for handball. That's bullshit. Real handball involves two to four ghetto kids, a little blue ball that sells for a dollar at the corner bodega, and a big wall provided by the Parks Department of the City of New York. Note to "handball." Whenever a game involves getting an object into a goal, there has to be some physical obstacle to simply running up and throwing the ball into the goal. Water polo: you have to swim. Basketball, the goal is 10 ft. high and horizontal. Soccer (footie, mate): you can't use your hands. Hockey: you have to use a stick, oh, and you're skating on ice. Handball is bullshit.

But back to my point. I don't like the Olympics because I really don't like nationalism. It's not that I'm not proud to be an American (although I'm not, and couldn't really care less). It's that I don't feel any particular connection to any nation state, as part of some fundamental identity. It seems stupid. This usually manifests as me rooting for the most unlikely country, and usually against the US players, though if they win I don't care either. All I know is that when the Olympics comes around, otherwise reasonable people I know turn into jingoistic USA chanting assholes, which makes me respect them less, given my worldview. It's like a view into the dimmest psycho wingnuttery, but as if it has taken over even your best liberal friend. They fist pump for the US athletes, scream about bias and cheating, become overnight experts in the intricacies of Asian adolescent development, and generally carry on like unclever imbeciles. And I'm sitting there with a face on like "Whoa, John Birch, why'ncha take a breather before your head explodes into an American flag." It's yucky.

When I'm not secretly or openly rooting against the Americans, I'm rooting for the least likely competitor, like a gangly Spaniard I saw running in a 1500 meter heat. He was bound to lose, looking a bit like a hippie Spanish Lurch from the Addams Family, but dammit, he was all weirdly angled elbows and kneecaps aflying, and I think I loved him for a moment. The Kenyan won the heat, which was just fine also, since the announcers were sure the American was going to pick it up on the last lap and win the heat. He came in fourth, and I didn't care. You might think this means that I just root for the underdog. You'd be wrong. In World Cup soccer, I also root against the Americans, and they are the massive underdog in that sport. It drives my friends crazy. I root for the powerhouse Germans. Needless to say, I don't have a drop of German up in here. It just amuses me because it pisses off my Italian friends, who think I should root for the Italians. I don't give a fuck about the Italians. In the last World Cup final, I was rooting for the French. I'm not French either.

Somebody on another thread said he admired Michael Phelps because Phelps "represents the youthful determination of America." I would say that that's ridiculous, like a Hallmark reject invading that poster's consciousness, but I frankly don't even know what it means. Represents the youthful determination of America? Where? I'm really a social person, with loads of empathy and connectedness, but I pretty sure that there's no there there. Phelps doesn't "represent" anything. He just swims really fact. Which is awesome for him. Body as a work of art, body as machine. It's great. Becoming-dolphin. I love it. Let's all go dorsal, see the world from another angle. And it's all really exciting. I'm more interested in the guy that came in last, that was so far behind that he was perpetually out of the frame, maybe even lapped (though that would be hard to do in a 100 m race, granted). Because that guy is amazing, a thousand times the athlete YOU are (yes, YOU, motherfucker!), and yet there he is, still yearning for the touch when the others have already checked and celebrated their time. I don't like the Olympics, but I like that guy.

[billyoc]

1. I don't like nationalism much either, especially BORING ASS nationalism.

:rofl:

[Bluebear]

2. I love them

I probably love the idealized version which was probably true in, oh, 1908, but every four years I get to see the results of sportsmen and women displaying their rowing skills or their synchronized swimming routines or their pole vaulting, stuff I haven't seen - well, in four years.

And I *do* care about the medal count: I am thrilled that Mongolia and Togo got their first medals ever, or when the underdog Belgian wins a fencing medal or when the underdog American wins a cross-country skiing medal. :)

[alarimer]

26. I would love to see "Chinese Taipei" (Taiwan) win a medal.

And have the Chinese officials have to play the national anthem of a country they consider part of China (even though it really isn't).

I am mostly rooting against the Chinese in these games. I love to see them lose events they expected to win, especially in the women's gymnastics, where they have cheated by having girls younger than 16 compete.

Also I hate the USA basketball team. I hope they lose. I don't believe a bunch of millionaire athletes need gold medals, although other teams also have NBA players on them.

[alcibiades_mystery]

30. I hope the Chinese winb every medal left in the games, even in track

Why?

To piss you off.

But here's the great thing. Even if they don't win another medal, I won't care.

[madeline_con]

3. One would think you'd pay less atttention to them. n/t

[alcibiades_mystery]

4. The wife has it on

I drift in and out. I also read in the living room, because it's just a dull blur on the flatscreen. :-)

[valerief]

5. don't like spectator *team* sports. Sports you participate in

are fine, but *team sports you watch* just cultivate a mob mentality and undeserved competition ("my team is better than yours"). I consider it war training.

[silverojo]

12. Politics cultivate a mob mentality, too

"My party is better than your party!"

[valerief]

53. Yeah, it's all the same territoriality stuff going on and it makes no sense. nt

[noamnety]

6. That second paragraph sums me up pretty well.

I don't feel like the athletes are "representing America" - I feel like they are representing themselves and their own interests. A bunch of people feel emotionally bonded to the winning people from their country for no reason I can figure out, when they don't even know each other.

I never understood that about football - everyone just "happens" to be big fans of the teams that happen to be in their city ... the part of my brain that is supposed to get that just seems to be broken. "I like this guy because he lives 25 miles from me; I don't like this other guy as much because he lives 225 miles from me."

While I can appreciate that some athletes have determination and self-discipline, I don't think they are heroic, not unless they've done something else in their lives worthy of that title - taken a huge ethical stand or made a giant sacrifice for someone else, or risked their safety for the good of others. Some athletes are heroes - Muhammed Ali with his opposition to the Vietnam War, for example. And some are rapists and murderers and wife batterers. I don't see a connection between doing sports (even if you do them really well), and having strong ethics.

Wouldn't it be something if the world shut down instead to honor Doctors Without Borders, and if the opening ceremonies for that was a stadium full of people building housing for disaster victims? All the common good - we're all one world stuff that the ceremonies and events are supposed to symbolize, why don't we just go out and DO it, instead of celebrating symbols of it?

[Skink]

7. One zillioneth of a second means something.

It means they gave up coaching. Privately that could have garnered a reasonable income.

[KellyW]

8. I watch the games on CBC

One of the nice things about living in a boarder state. The nationalism is still thick, but the 'Oh Canada' kind is somehow more palatable. They start each broadcast with what I jokingly call the parade of Canadian losers- reporting on the Canadians that finished deep back in the pack in various sports.

[bevoette]

9. i am LOVING the Olympics!

i haven't felt proud of my country for some time.

Obama makes me feel proud. Michael Phelps makes me feel proud. Kobe Bryant is like a good will ambassador. our gymnasts- male and female - make me smile.

most rational people on earth feel the same, whether it's Americans, Chinese, or whatever. we want to be liked in the world.

the Olympics make me feel like my country is well-liked.

i miss that feeling. a little nationalism after the past 8 years makes me feel good. :)

[MiniMe]

10. Watch some of the live web feeds on nbcolympics.com

They show the feeds with no commentary and as it happens.I've watched it for quite a few things and I find it refreshing to actually watch the feeds and be able to form my own opinions.

[silverojo]

11. Well, I'm PROUD to be an American

I have respect for those who came before me, and turned this country into what it is. Yes, we have problems--many of them big ones--but I wouldn't want to live anywhere else.

I love other countries and am interested in their cultures, though politics does tend to make me PO'ed at certain countries' governments. So I'm no ignorant American...I've had penpals overseas since I was 15, and have thus developed a lifelong interest in other people and their traditions.

But in the end, I'm an American, and I love my country--that's why I'm so angered by what is being done to it of late.

If you don't really understand the "youthful determination of America", then I pity you. You arrogantly overlook the hard work that people like Michael Phelps have put into their training, writing it off as "he swims really fast". Maybe you could develop a great talent, too, if you'd get off your ass and actually do something. Those who can, do...those who can't just make light of the accomplishments of those who work for years to reach a goal. Sure, the guy who came in last deserves respect for his hard work...but the fact that he didn't do well proves that several people worked harder.

The American spirit is what has driven this country through the good times and the bad, what has inspired people to invent remarkable things, and create social changes that have been adopted nearly worldwide.

Read the works of people like Laura Ingalls Wilder (not just the "Little House" books), and get to know the amazing generation of American pioneers, who deserve our respect. Grasp the fact that if it weren't for American innovation, you wouldn't even be able to post this crap about not caring less about being an American.

[Syrinx]

15. I have nothing but contempt for the people that turned this country into what it is

Yes, we have problems. All of the big ones -- are really big ones.

What has been done to it, wasn't just done to it in the last eight years... though the process has undoubtedly accelerated during that time.

What is this "youthful determination of America", that you speak of?

Is there not "youthful determination" in other countries? Or is there none at all?

There are no "determined youths" in England? Or Russia? Or Georgia? Or Iraq?

What is it about the "youthful determination" in the USA that differentiates it from the "youthful determination" in those other countries?

What is the "American spirit?"

The United States was founded upon a constitution, that was indeed special. But when was the last time we respected that constitution?

Since the early sixties, maybe before, we have rained down bombs on anyone that resisted our orders.

You can be declared an "enemy combatant" on the word of the president, or one of his underlings, and locked up forever with no recourse.

They can search your home for no reason.

When was the last time we respected our own Constitution?

Our constitution says that you should be safe from unreasonable searches and seizures. Yet you have the USA PATRIOT ACT that says the government can search you, your home, and your belongings, for no good reason, and never tell you, Come into your home, Gestapo style.

And they kill people. And they get off the hook because they claim they were looking for marijuana dealers!

They lied to get us into Iraq.

They killed Kennedy

They conspire to help the oil industry.

That's all known.

What makes you think they wouldn't conspire one more time?

We are led by a bunch of assholes. Sooner we realize it, the better.

What is this American exceptionialism that you speak of?

[alcibiades_mystery]

22. OMFG THEY got silverojo!

Somebody get the delousing spray!

BRAAAAAAAAAIIIIINNNNNNNSSSSSSSS....

:rofl:

[Loudmxr]

13. The Olympics are on??

[asteroid2003QQ47]

25. Yes, the abundance of half-witted orgasmic Amurkin fans...

should have tipped you off.

[Itchinjim]

14. Nothing wrong with the women's beach volleyball competition.

:evilgrin:

[alcibiades_mystery]

23. True dat...

:thumbsup:

[dems_rightnow]

16. It's really just "happens to be nationalism"

Sports are like that. You have a team you identify with, and root for them.

It starts with little kids t-ball or soccer. "Beat the Rockets!" They're kids in your own school, your friends, but you want to beat them anyway.

Then it's "your" high school vs. theirs. Then State vs. Tech. Then your closest professional team.

In the Olympics, they happen to divide teams up by countries, so mostly we cheer for ours. Someday in the far future it'll be Earth vs. Xeta II. I'll cheer for Earth.

It's the nature of sports.

[alcibiades_mystery]

31. I'll secretly root for Omicron VIII

They're center is so tiny!

[cherokeeprogressive]

47. Why secretly?

[alcibiades_mystery]

51. Why not?

Think about it. I mean, Omicron VIII? Come on.

[cherokeeprogressive]

52. Long as it ain't Murka, why not stand and shout your support from the rooftop?

Why hide it?

[alcibiades_mystery]

54. Because it's temporary and provisional

In the middle of the game, I might switch my secret support to those bastards from the Tli-Gaktor system. Previous rooftop shouting no good

[cherokeeprogressive]

56. No loyalty. I know sports fans like you.

[alcibiades_mystery]

58. That's nice

[cherokeeprogressive]

46. Dodgerism!

[summer borealis]

17. I don't watch them at all

Too many sports that just don't matter.
Now they're taking baseball and softball out of the Olympics, probably to be replaced by team synchronized diving and blindfolded mountain biking or triples badminton. Who cares.

Add the jingoism, the chicanery where a South Dakota woman who's not Russian can play basketball for Russia, and the constant drumbeat of who's got more medals, and I'd rather watch the New York Yankees lose again.

[noamnety]

34. The yankees are no different.

"a South Dakota woman who's not Russian can play basketball for Russia"

People from anywhere can play baseball for New York.

[cherokeeprogressive]

48. "People from anywhere can play baseball for New York."

YES! This is a very very good thing!

People from ANYWHERE can play baseball in America if they're good enough! Fuckin' A... I love this country.

[noamnety]

61. Do you love Russia, too?

people from anywhere can play basketball for Russian.

See, I don't get why that's a reason to get all nationalistic. It's like saying "I fuckin' LOVE America, we can drink coffee here!"

[HCE SuiGeneris]

18. Great post.

The Olympics have become a reflection of the ideals the corporations would have us cherish. Move faster, avoid obstacles, destroy your opponents, and above all... wrap yourself in the flag and attribute the success to the nation/state/employer.

The brainwashed, idealistically naive -- striving to bring glory to their country and themselves, need first turn their attentions to more pressing matters closer to home. People are dying, starving, are impoverished... flags won;t keep them warm, nor provide them sustenance.

[aikoaiko]

19. Another "I don't like the olympics" post ....

....wow man, you're anti-establismentism is cool.

[alcibiades_mystery]

21. I know it is

You square!

:P

[uppityperson]

20. K&R for a wonderfully put post with which I very much agree.

Thank you for stating it so well.

[ellie]

24. I don't like the Olympics either

I hate nationalism. I consider myself to be a citizen of the world. I admire the determination, work, and discipline that goes into being a world-class athlete.

[tomp]

27. rampant sexism, too.

why do the women's vollelyball palyers wear skimpy bikinis and the men wear normal shorts and shirt?

why do the women gymnasts' floor exercise use music and the men don't?

why do the women gymnasts do all the little booty shakes and fru fru movements on the floor and the beam?

just sayin'.

[cherokeeprogressive]

50. Music

Is Sexist. MMMMMkay.

[tomp]

72. it's not the music...

...it's that the women use it and the men don't. do you have an explanation for that?

[Berry Cool]

28. Sure, hate the Olympics. Hate a bunch of athletes trying to do their best to be good at something

and testing themselves to the limit.

Blame them, too, for the nationalism and corporatism imposed on the event that is absolutely nothing of their doing.

Hate Americans, too, for no other reason than just being Americans, and therefore pissing you off.

Just sit in front of your keyboard and type lots of ironic, sarcastic snark about what you hate and about how you root against people.

That makes you SO much cooler and SO much better than anyone who participates in the Olympics.

[alcibiades_mystery]

29. LOL

1) I said I like the athletes. Learn to read.
2) Cooler than you.
3) aikoaiko already beat you to the "Oh, you're sooooooo cooooool with all you're detached snark" response. Be on the ball.

:rofl:

[file83]

32. USA! USA! Corporate Greed! Illegal Wars!! USA! USA!

When people chant "USA!" I get a sick fucking feeling in my stomach.

Call it intuition.

[Joe Chi Minh]

64. Few things turn my stomach more quickly than the sight of a Union Jack.

It's arguable that we are the worst victims of our empire. And I mean at every level of society, because it is not just economically, but morally that we've become debased currency.

All that our political leaders, left and right, know now is parasitism. And when they can't plunder the third world, why they'll plunder their compatriots. Heck they do that for the fun of it, anyway. Thatcher is supposed to be the reincarnation of Bodicea and Churchill, yet she started the wholesale destruction of our manufacturing industry, with eventually, even the flagship companies, such as Rolls Royce and virtually our entire automotive industry as well as a host of other major companies, being sold to foreign interests.

Ironically, much of even the invisible earnings (except those of the Ponzi sharks) sector now seems to be in foreign hands - not to speak of the national utilities - which the people used to own. Well, just as the banks are now being bailed out by the tax-payer, when Rolls Royce, Rover, Ferranti, privatised railway concerns and surely many others failed, it was of course people's taxes that bailed them out, until they could be duly re-privatized, all on the basis of a thoroughly traduced, mendacious interpretation of Adam Smith's precepts.

But the remarkable thing is that it has always been these types who have touted themselves as patriots and wrap themselves in the flag. It remainds me of a wingnut intoning on CNN how Reagan never removed his jacket in the Oval Office (or some such awesome mark of patriotism in his diseased imagination); to which a Democratic politician or advisor murmured that it would have been nice if he'd picked up his pen and seen to the nation's accounts. Can't remember his exact words, but that was the thrust. I thought it a shame that he just murmured it, but, you know, the weird thing is that he was right in a way. He was like Secretariat, I think, in the Preakness, he lived and breathed in a different dimension to them, so it could only have been for the benefit of the public who would have understood what he was saying.

[DU GrovelBot]

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[dysfunctional press]

35. the nationalism is the BEST part.

too bad for you- being the man without a country and all...

good luck. :hi:

[alcibiades_mystery]

36. Off to cry

I feel so alone...:rofl:

;-)

[dysfunctional press]

38. you should.

you are.

[alcibiades_mystery]

39. Yeeeouchies

Oh, ow, ip, gulp!

[sammythecat]

55. No he's not.

[The Straight Story]

37. I think there is a good reason for the nationalism on all sides

(or countries) - it is a way people come together to celebrate their culture, heritage, general beliefs, government, and so on, kind of like cinco da mayo here in my hood (well until I move tomorrow....).

Folks have pride in what they have worked together to achieve and invest in - just like we can all have shame that the US is at war with Iraq even though you and I are not there fighting or endorsing the war, we can all share in the joy of things we have accomplished as a 'team'.

These young folks are our neighbors if you will, aunt Sally's boy, bob at work's son's best friend, and so on.

We are a family, as we are with the rest of the world - but the rest of the world are our cousins, aunts, and so on, these kids are ours so we cheer for them because, like many cultures, family comes first here and you wouldn't root for someone else over your own kid (unless you had money riding on it, then it is ok).

Countries with a democracy are our first cousins (whom we sometimes sleep with) and communist/et all countries are third or fourth cousins we only see at family reunions :)

[alcibiades_mystery]

40. It's not the war

I've never felt it in my life.

And I don't particularly feel like family with some farmer in Wisconsin or sales manager in Florida. I understand that that's the metaphor, but it's not a metaphor I can buy into.

[The Straight Story]

41. That's ok, you are the red headed step child (No offense to my wife/daughter

w/red head mention there....)

:)

[alcibiades_mystery]

42. I guess I'm supposed to be insulted

:shrug:

People who feel a "family" connection based on citizenship status strike me as pathological.

[The Straight Story]

43. It's not just citizenship

it's community, and it is a lot stronger in smaller countries.

Of course I like all the other teams in the olympics, I just feel a closer relationship to those I know more personally.

[alcibiades_mystery]

44. Really?

I live in community with people in Florida? Why not Ontario? Jakarta?

I guess I have a different understanding of community than you do. In any case, I'm glad we've at least moved from the family bond to the community bond. It makes a little more sense, even if I still don't see it.

[asteroid2003QQ47]

57. Shame on you, alcibiades, stooping to puff...

journalism! "Pathological" doesn't say nearly enough,
surely you are capable of better.

[alcibiades_mystery]

59. No, that's about the speed of it

:-)

[asteroid2003QQ47]

60. I can't come up with anything worse...

You Win! ;-)

[Occam Bandage]

45. I love the Olympics. If you don't like the nationalism, then ignore the nationalism.

Just enjoy the athletics. (Though really, if you don't feel anything while watching an athlete--American, Chinese, whatever--mouth the words to her national anthem as her eyes well with pride, well...)

Me, I root for the Chinese. Always have, always will. Zhongguo jiayou!

[Ellen Forradalom]

49. I remember an interview with skateboarder Elissa Steamer.

"What's right with skateboarding?"

"Skateboarding."

"What's wrong with skateboarding?"

"Everything else."

I find that a handy guide to understanding a lot of things in life. Especially the Olympics.

[patrick t. cakes]

62. sat in a bar the other night

with a friend and tried to get in to the olympics.
couldnt do it.
i enjoy playing sports and games but watching them on television
is tough.
great post.

[asteroid2003QQ47]

63. Kinky! "I'm constantly astounded by the way people can...

turn their bodies into special purpose machines..."

"...for 30 years, every woman competitor had to subject herself to a swipe test inside her cheek to check for unacceptable Y chromosomes. “I still have my card from 1976 saying I’m a woman,” says Anita DeFrantz with mock pride.

But that testing ended in 1999. Now, ironically, the IOC has suggested it will, in the future, allow transsexual athletes into the Games. They’re still working out the details with medical experts, but post-op athletes may become eligible to compete a certain time after they’ve completed their gender transition. Although it’s just a hypothetical situation at this point, it will be interesting to see whether a male-to-female athlete rises to Olympic heights — and whether born-female athletes will feel that person brings an unfair physical advantage to competition."

http://www.msmagazine.com/summer2004/augustamazons.asp

[dbonds]

65. I would rather watch flys fuck.

[bluesmail]

66. To like the olympics you need to have intestinal fortitude

for commercialism/capitalism/corporatcracy. No thankee y'all.

[asteroid2003QQ47]

67. REAL Americans LOVE the Olympics and the role models produced!

Phelps wins 8th gold medal; breaks tie with Spitz
"Spitz's iconic performance was surpassed by a swimmer fitting of this generation: a 23-year-old from Baltimore who loves hip-hop music, texting with his buddies and wearing his cap backward."
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080817/ap_on_sp_ol/oly_swm_swimming

5. IT'S MOSTLY HIP HOP ON HIS IPOD BEFORE RACES, BUT NOT ALWAYS: Phelps has been listening to 'Lil Wayne this week, an American rapper from New Orleans. He's also a big fan of artists like Rick Ross, Young Jeezy and, of course, Jay-Z. But occasionally he'll mix things up and listen to some techno. Though it was often written that Phelps listened to Eminem's "Till I Collapse" before every race in Athens, Phelps says that's not true. "It's a different song for every meet," he says.

6. HE SPENDS A LOT OF HIS FREE TIME AT HOME PLAYING VIDEO GAMES: He plays a lot of Madden, but he also plays Halo pretty frequently as well. One week, he played so much Tiger Woods PGA Tour Golf on his Nintendo Wii, he came to practice with a sore shoulder, and Bowman said if that ever happened again he was taking the video game console away. Video games are one of his favorite escapes, and if he wants to play them, no one is going to stop him. This is especially true of girlfriends or potential girlfriends. "If I want to play video games, I'm playing video games," he says. "If I want to sit around and watch TV, I'm watching TV. No one is changing my mind. I'm pretty easy to get along with, just don't tell me I can't do something."
http://weblogs.baltimoresun.com/sports/specialevents/blog/2008/08/eight_things_you_might_not_kno.html

[riverdeep]

68. Well, the Chinese love the Olympics...

The victories are prompting a huge celebration in China, where the Olympics have enormous political value. Across the country, patriotic sentiment overflows.

"Look how strong our homeland is now. Look at how much progress has been made in 20 years by the country that was once called the sick man of Asia. I deeply feel the pride of being a Chinese. Every day we are excited, weeping together with the athletes when they win medals." (Chinese blogger)

"China knocking the world off its feet"
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/LAC.20080816.OLYMPICCHINA16/TPStory/TPInternational/Asia/

Some argued that the reason China wanted these games was to prove to the world something. Now I'm thinking the reason for the games was primarily internal manipulation- "You can't say what you like, or walk where you like, we'll throw you in prison and throw away the key, and a thousand other things, but, LOOK, so many shinies!"

[riverdeep]

69. Nationalism is like religion,

somehow, yours is always the best.

There's a fine line between 'pride' and nationalism. Although I have to say, I've never felt either. I don't see why I should take credit, or the blame, for something my genetic neighbors did.

In a similar vein, I always find it amusing when visiting a town and see a sign that proclaims triumphantly "This is the birth place of..." The point they want to project is that something about the town is also superior. Interestingly, I've never seen a sign that says "This is the birth place of John Wayne Gacy!" or some such. Surely, it must work both ways?

[ileus]

70. USA USA USA....don't confuse sports with politics.

When Obama is Prez you'll pull for our teams right?

I always read the sports page first because it tells the story of mans accomplishments.

These people are working to help Americas image around the world.

As for me I'll never let one man cause me to hate my country. I'll always be proud or America, no matter if GW, Carter, Clinton, Reagan, or Obama is president. Being proud of one's county isn't a bad thing.

[asteroid2003QQ47]

71. YOUR country!? What the fuck is YOUR country?

--------------------------------------------

1492. As children we were taught to memorize this year with pride and joy as the year people began living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America. Actually, people had been living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America for hundreds of years before that. 1492 was simply the year sea pirates began to rob, cheat, and kill them.
--Kurt Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions