Olympics Day 1: Moral Gymnastics Competition

[tannybogus]

Today, as you may have heard, is the first day of the 2008 Olympics. I usually find the Olympics pretty boring, but this year's edition features an exciting new event: Moral Gymnastics, and the Republicans are heavily favored to walk away with the gold.

The scoring is similar to that of figure skating: Competitors are graded from 1 to 6 on awfulness, with multipliers for hypocrisy and media coverage (also 1 to 6).

John Edwards. Cheated on his wife while her cancer was in remission, came clean to her but not the voters, ran for president anyway. Not a family values scold.

Awfulness: 2, Hypocrisy Multiplier: 1, Media Multiplier: 6. Total Score: 12.

John McCain. Cheated on his disabled wife when he returned from Vietnam, eventually marrying the woman he was having an affair with. Possible affair with lobbyist Vicki Iseman. Not as family values-obsessed as most Republicans, distrusted by Religious Right.

Awfulness: 4, Hypocrisy Multiplier: 3, Media Multiplier: "Huh?" Total Score: Naught.

Newt Gingrich. Cheated on his first wife and presented her with divorce papers while she was in the hospital. Later had extramarital affair while trying to impeach Clinton for an extramarital affair.

Awfulness: 6, Hypocrisy Multiplier: 6, Media Multiplier: 1. Total Score: 36.

Mark Foley. Attempted to seduce underage male pages via Sexy Instant Messaging. Co-chair of Committee for Missing and Exploited Children.

Awfulness: 6, Hypocrisy Multiplier: 6, Media Multiplier: 3. Total Score: 108.

David Vitter. "DC Madam" client with diaper fetish. Family values Republican and backer of Constitutional amendment to outlaw same-sex marriage.

Awfulness: 2, Hypocrisy Multiplier: 6, Media Multiplier: 2. Total Score: 24.

(more competitors-add your own)

http://firedoglake.com/2008/08/08/olympics-day-1-moral-gymnastics-competition/
:patriot:

[Ilsa]

1. Vitter's audience should increase his hypocrisy multiplier.

The GOP assholes applauded him when he arrived for a GOP luncheon after the whole thing was revealed on MSM. That should be worth something for his final score.

[LisaL]

2. Who are the judges?

I think Edwards scores are much too low.

[ElboRuum]

3. We're playing Calvinball here...

...and the score is now ooey to blooey.